LoooooooooL @ Somali Pirates

[Cawar]

Somali Pirates Take Break for Jewish Holidays

Somali pirates who stunned the world by seizing a Ukrainian ship in the Gulf of Aden announced today that they would take a brief hiatus from terrorizing the high seas out of respect for the Jewish holidays.


"To all of our Jewish friends, we say a hearty Shana Tova," said pirate spokesman Sugule, moments before the pirates hoisted a Star of David flag over the captured ship.


http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6941

[SahanGalbeed]

Well they still have a lot booze on board I imagine

None of us is jewish except Abe who is half ?? are there any majeerten half jewish

[Niya]

Lol@@@@ The Onion must be his source!

[Grant]

Posted 9-30-08. Oy!

[Cawar]

Lol.

"Believe me, I'm as shocked by these results as anybody," said DNC chief Howard Dean, who indicated he has received hundreds of calls from incredulous party members. "We did everything in our power to screw this thing up."


Dean pointed to several key elements the Democrats put in place to ensure defeat, ranging from "a rancorous primary campaign" to "the appointment of me."


"Somehow, despite our best efforts to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we won," he said. "I came in here with a mandate to blow this thing and I didn't get it done."

Niya you were close.. this is one of them fake news websites.

[Gatspy]

None of us Somali pirates are Jewish," he said. "Except for Abe in accounting, who's half.

[sheekh-Farax-zero]

this is fake news,, i doubt if the pirates know the existance of jews holiday at all.

[Demure]

... They don't even look Somali.

[salafi_student]

"To all of our Jewish friends, we say a hearty Shana Tova," said pirate

I just cant believe that lol

[suga_n_spice]

Cawar, maxaa laakiin saan?! waaba yaabaye. wah! do u have to use that many o's in ur title?!

[Alluring]

That guy is not even Somali on the front page.

[Goljano Lion]

That guy is not even Somali on the front page.

onion news sort of

[American-Suufi]

"Somali Pirates Take Break for Jewish Holidays".

[Cawar]

Breaking news..

U.S. ATTEMPTS TO LURE OSAMA WITH AD IN PERSONALS
Evildoer Has Not Had a Date in Months, CIA Believes


In an abrupt change in strategy, the U.S. military today announced plans to lure Osama bin Laden out of hiding by running a torrid personal ad guaranteed to catch the al Qaeda kingpin's attention.

The ad, penned by a team of top CIA agents, aims to trap a man who, in the estimate of top intelligence officials, has not had a date in several months.

"Quite frankly, we're betting he's as horny as a marching band," said one high-ranking CIA source.

The agency-crafted personal ad reads as follows:

"READY TO DO SOME EVIL? Hot, slender thirtysomething single female megalomaniac looking for tall, skeletal globe-threatening madman to share the good life: hiding in caves, making spooky videos, and jihad! No smokers, please."