Dowry Dhibaato

[Savaloy]

This is indeed a personal cry for help. I am in love with this girl, I have been with her for about a year and a half.

I have a stable job and she just graduated and working in retail. I would love to marry her and cannot imagine being with anyone else.

I have some money saved up, around 7k, and I have a job secured abroad where I have a house. Looks like I'm all set right? No.

My girlfriend has asked me for a dowry, a hefty 10k dowry and she also wishes to have a wedding. In Somali culture, the groom would normally have to pay for everything, this is the normal custom.

In my family, and within my friendship group, a dowry of 10k is unheard of and I would get ridiculed by family, and extended family, and my girlfriend behind closed doors would be labelled a gold digger and I would be labelled as a fool.

My family would not allow it and if I decided to be bold and allow my love for my girl to be resilient and decide to pay her that amount, the backlash I would receive from my family would be bad.

When I explained this to my girlfriend, she retaliated with the same reverse reason, she has two sisters that have been married for at least a 10k dowry, and her family would feel it unjust if her future husband did not prove he was capable of being fiscally responsible and willing to make the investment for her and his future family.

Now ultimately, she knows that I love her, I know she loves me, she knows that if I married her, I would take care of her and our future children, I believe it's her family pressuring her for high standards of this dowry, I explained to her that dowry is not her 'worth' because in my eyes she means everything to me, but my family are very religious and even whispering a 10k dowry would give them a heart attack.

I've said to her that realistically I can push to 5k, she has refused. I don't want to make her sound money hungry because I know her and she isn't, I genuinely believe that me and her do love each other but because of our huge love for our families we don't want to sacrifice their disappointment for our love.

We have ended things because of this, but I miss her and I don't know what to do, I could raise up the funds in about a year, but that would mean a year apart (as I'm working abroad) but should I have to do that?

[Julkimi]

Why is she working in retail if she has a degree?

As for the 10k meher, that's a reasonable price. You should also take her to a Caribbean honeymoon.

Congratulations are in order. mabruuk

[ciddhartha]

Nigga, why you buying a woman? Just marry one. Unless you're in Somalia, then I feel bad for your predicament.

If she can't stand up to her parents now, they will be a crushing force in the future. You dodged a bullet.

[Octagon]

Is her name Lillahia?

How about a compromise, let's see if she really loves you. Tell her to save 5K + your 5K use that for dowry. On a serious note run for you life, her family is dictating the terms already, and they have too much control over her. If money is an issue now it will be an issue later. What will you do, when the her fam tells her, the sisters need to raise money and need get 10K each from their husbands

[jalaaludin5]

Is the girl in question's qabil different than yours?

If it is and your family don't know it yet,...

tell them....qabadh reer hebel ah 10k rabta.

with in an hour all your aunts and related families from back home to australia will be listing x amount of girls of reer habel stock all willing to be your wife. .

let the news run through face books and your friends talking about all the xalimos in line waiting for you to take your pick.

If she doesn't lower her price then go back home and get yourself an organic xalimo.

[Jabuutawi]

I will pay your dowry if you name your first born son after me. Deal?


































Nah, good luck man and congrats

[eliteSomali]

You say you can't imagine being with someone else, sounds like she she is priceless. 10K is a bit on the higher end but it is not unheard of. I have seen a 30K meher lol.

[Bella18]

Oh boy! prepare for more "my family says this and that"

If you can't imagine living without her i'm sure you'll find a way to make it happen and she should be understanding.

[zaki87]

LOOOL 10K IS MOTHING NIGGA, STOP ACTING CHEAP IF U WANT HER THAT AMOUNT IS NOTHING WALLAHI. IF U ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH HER MEHER WAS,

[technogc]

Go no contact on her straight away. 10k lol

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

Just pretend to be a madow revert and you'll get her for a tufaax and half an orange.

[GeoSeven]

Who cares what people think, she's only asking for an extra 3k. Pay her and marry her

[Amira143]

I'm sorry to have to say this but she would not have put this financial strain on you if she truly loved you! But that's just my opinion. Anyway, do what feels right for you. Best of luck with everything.

[jamal9]

you don't have to pay the $10k upfront, you only pay it if you divorce her. since you said you both madly in love, chances of a divorce are slim.

[vikingman]

Yet another reason to stay away from somalian women, is she cattle wtf am I Purchasing. FFS