     Anonymous | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:11 am
What would do if your sister says yo you i am going to marry a non-somli |
| common | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:15 am
I would be down with my sisters marrying any muslim man in theory.
I think my dad would have issues, but he may be convinced otherwise..i am not sure.inshallah i will be happy if my daughter marrys any muslim man that treats her rite.
one love |
| Hakima | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:16 am
As long as he is a good muslim, i see no problem. |
| Anonymous | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:28 am
Anon
My Opinion there is nothing is wrong marrying a Non-somali as long as he is good Muslim.....remember there is no verse in the Quran which said...married Somali.....Muslim is the Word! I myself r about to Married Non-somali But Muslim Br! insha,allah |
| Drifter | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:50 am
If y'all r scared to tell it like it is then I will.......That SHOULD never happen...Stick to your own people...Saves u lots of headaches and confusion...And embarassing your family like that.
I would KILL her if she tried that ••••, send her back to HARGEYSA and marry her an old GIESER!!! That's what she deserves for dishonoring the family name. |
| arawello | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 09:03 am
Salaams
Subhanalah Drifter, why is that?
I understand that some families would not like their doughters marrying a non_Somali.
And if they explain that to their doughters they may accept that. But it can be hard for her to get over that.
Forcing her that is absolutly terrible to even hear.
TO anynmous
I think you should respect your sisters feelings that is if he is a good muslim.
Though I know some sisters may choose their families. But you know, iit is very culture that Somalis only to somalis.
I do not know much to say but be fear with your sister. |
| Tlabgirl | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 11:38 am
Drifter, what is Gieser? |
| QOONADE | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 11:51 am
I THINK GIESER MEANS DILAAL. |
| Sweetgirl | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 11:53 am
It's all good as long as the guy is a good muslim.
That is all that matters. Drifter please drift back to reality and answer this would you rather your sis marry a good non-somali man or a somali who is a loser and doesn't practice? |
| Alyisa | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 02:00 pm
I see no problem with it as long as he's a good practicing Muslim. |
| Trauntlabgirl | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 03:47 pm
Anon, I wish you a blessed marriage with your non-Somali good muslim future husband...Can I ask what Nationality he is? |
| Trauntlabgirl | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 03:49 pm
Qonsade, thanks...I'm assuming dilaal means businessman...So, Drifter, how is that a punishment for your sister that "dishonoured" the family name by marrying a non-Somali? |
| anonymous | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 03:21 am
TrauntLabgirl
sis thanks for the Ducaa, but my Husband to be is American, and he is very good Muslim who is practicing Islam in every way. That is all I need some one who can teach me more and practice whit me.
peace |
| common | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 03:27 am
lol..i agree with sweetgirl..
drifter either drift back to reality or drift away.
Nobody here is scared to "tell it like it is"..you think we are held hostage by the keyborads we are typing on.
Oh a brave typer you are!.. the truth has been revealed by drifter.. yeah somalis have issues with marrying a non-somali..but we have issues with not listeing to the Quran..tell me who is scared to tell it like it realy really is?. If my parents tried to pull that one on me.. even though i love them to death i would explain what the Qurans position is on the matter.
I guess it is easier for me casue i am a guy...but i would argue the same for my sister..walaahi!.
The only problem i would have..and i have heard form other muslim somali girls..is that it would upset their parents and they would not like to upset their parents. Only under that circumstance can i understand it. But why are we so brave to defy our parents in all other areas, if we wanna go out we do, we dress how we wanna dress, we talk how we wanna talk. When it comes to marriage..we suddenly remember we are somali?. Our culture has issues. I would talk to my parents about the ignornace in somali culture which i do all the time. my Father doesn't listen and tells me to get out while he chews on some more of that green stuff and my Mother says "okay Hoyo" and humors me, they stick to beliving ignorant things. For example in a conversation with my dad i managed to get him to admit that the concept of "midgaan" is cruel, evil,illegitamate, false and bears no reseblenace to anything we understand as truth as human beings. and i asked him so why do you belive in it and he was like well thats the way it is.I asked him what he would think if i married one,he laughed thinking i was joking, he hit the roof when he found out i wasn't saying he would disown me..i didn't back down though..i told him i was gonna marry four girls form that tribe ...lol..and he kicked me out of the room
peace
one love |
| Arawelo | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 04:06 am
To Common,
Yes, you are right sisters are more likely to give up the idea if they see it as upsetting their families.
Do I have to tell you my own expearience? may be not!
Thanks bro. You give a good impression about Islam. |
| Trauntlabgirl | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 07:43 am
Common, like I said, you are extremely adorable..:-)
4 wives...masha Allah :-)
About obeying parents: I was of the impression that we can disobey them if they are telling us to go against the norms of Islam (someone correct me if i'm wrong).
Sisters, one argument u can use against your parents: The prophet peace be upon married from all walks of life...so, mom/dad i'm practising the sunnah. |
| anonymous | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 08:09 am
Guys, TG...Arewelo...Common and sweetgirl..
My dearst Br&Sisters
Thank you all for understanding and not judging me as we always do as (Somalians)....Althought I already made my mind...dicussing this issue it means a lot to me. This is some thing I thought about it for long time....and I am doing this only the Love of Islam I mean marrying NOn-somali...as our Br Common mention above...I am fed up our Culture, which in many ways have no base of Islam.....many of our ppl failed to understand they put culture before Islam....we do care what others going to say ...but ignore what Allah (swt) going to say in the judgement day! may Allah guide us All...Aamiin!
peace |
| common | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 05:01 am
Anon..
Good luck. go for it man
tbl.
i think you are right.. we have the right to disobey our parents if they disobey Allah.
Four wifes.. mansallah lol.. i don't think i could equally support four wifes in love and attention fianance and compassion. If i could..bwoy would i be chillin.. |
| Drifter | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 08:21 am
A somali woman should not marry or even think of marrying anyone other than SOMALI. It's bad enough all the somalis are confused Imagine a Half-Breed. We have enough problems already we don't need to add to them. There are a lot of good somali men that she can choose from. For every 1 bad apple there are 5 goods, but we only see or hear the bad ones. GIVE your MEN a chance, ONE brought u into this world therefore u should bring one in....KEEP the TRADITION going....
CATCH MY DRIFT>>>>>>>~~~~~~~ |
| arawelo | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 08:35 am
Drifter
You know who you gonna marry is not by chose.
I do not think sisters do not want marry their Somalian brothers, but beacuase we do not leave in sopmalia where everyone is Somali. There are possiblities that sisters may meet other nationalies. What can you say about that. |
| common | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 09:55 am
no i did not catch the drift.. i let it drift on by..will a kick to keep it moving |
| QOOSADE | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 11:06 am
AS YOU ALL AWARE, NO MUSLIM HAS THE AUTHORITY TO NEGATE ANY ASPECT OF SACRED LAW TO JUSTIFY A PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL OR GROUPS CULTURES. HOWEVER, WE HAVE TO ABANDON THE SOMALI CULTURE,SO THAT IT COMPLIIES THE ISLAMIC SYSTEM. I HAVE SEEN A VERY GOD-FEARING SOMALI SISTER (MAASHA ALLAH) WHO MARRIED TO AN AMERICAN TAQI MUSLIM. THE SISTER WAS TRAUMATISED BY THE SOMALIS, BECAUSE THEY CALL HER,"TII GAALKU QABAY" SUBXAANALAAH. REALLY, THEIR IGNORANE HAS BROKEN THE SISTER,S HEART. AND BELIEVE ME, WHENEVER I SEE THE SISTER AND HER HUSBAND, I ASK ALLAH TO GUIDE ME LIKE THEM. MAY ALLAH BLESS THEM IN THIS WORLD AND ADMIT THEM HIS JANNAH IN THE HEREAFTER. |
| Sweetgirl | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 04:56 pm
I speak for everyone when I say we don't want to catch your drift. |
| reallady2000 | Tuesday, November 21, 2000 - 12:41 am
to y'all,
bros and sistas, if my sista told me that she was going to marry non-somalian, my first question would be is he a good muslim, then my second question would be does he treat you right and does he love you..............
so people it is not about the colour of your skin it is about does the person worship Allah{swt} and he has a knowlegde of the relgion and he knows the purpose why Allah {swt} has put him this world.
so peace&harmony. |
| anonymous | Tuesday, November 21, 2000 - 02:15 am
Drift
Allah, brought one in this World not a MAN! |
| wanaagsane | Tuesday, November 21, 2000 - 02:25 am
assalamu calaykum:
The quran has no objection as to marrying a person of different race. A man can marry a muslim woman, a muslim woman can only marry a muslim man.
HAVING SAID THAT:
I would prefer a somali woman., because we speak the same language, have the same values, have a common heritage, have "maybe" a common country, a common liking for pasta, xalwa, anjeero etc.
various researchs done around the world show that, marriages involving ppl of different races/culture is doomed to fail.
Marriage is an institution, a committment, more than love, and to succeed and celebrate years of being together, your choice of partner should at least having an understanding of your culture and language. |
| Alyisa | Friday, November 24, 2000 - 05:23 pm
Can someone please define culture for me? And then define the word deen? |
| wanaagsane | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 12:27 am
assalamu calaykum:
A layman defination of culture is a set of norms and values, which a group/society adopt through rituals, signs etc.
Deen ( I guess you mean diin-religion) Is a devine way of life. This means that while culture is Dynamic (changeable), Religion is Static...
Culture is questionable and changes with time/environment, Religion (islam) on the other hand does not change with time... |
| checker. | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 12:33 am
I thought wanaagsane was OFF TO AFIRCA!. What is the deal here?. Cancelled flight or it was flamboyant newsflash?. |
| ... | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 05:54 am
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT IN ISLAM THERE IS NO NATIONALITY...AFTER ALL WHAT WILL YOU BEING A SOMALI DO FOR YOU IN THE HEREAFTER? |
| GAABIYE | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 08:01 pm
WALALAHA MUSLIMINTA AHOOW SAXA GALADA KU DOODEYSA MUSLIKU WAA KHALDANYAHAY,DACWADANA GAARSIYA.BOOGGA WAA...SUDAN.NET
WAXAAD AADAA DISCUSSION BOARD,,WA SALAMU CALEYKUM |
| WANAAGSANE | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 11:26 pm
CHEKER!
lol...I AM STILL PREPARING FOR MY TRIP.....I HAVE STILL A FEW DAYS LEFT..........ARE U SOME KIND OF SPY? LOL.....ANYWA I HAVE STILL SOME DAYS TO COMMENT USEFULL DISCUSSIONS LIKE YOUR QUESTION..LOL |
| MAD MAC | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 01:02 am
Well, in the words of Bulworth the solution to our current racial and ethnic problems is for everyone to •••• everyone until we're all the same color. Course, I noticed that almost everyone's answer here focussed on the potential non-Somali being a good Muslim, so for you guys this theory clearly breaks down on this point. |
| checker. | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 03:10 am
MAD.
You were doing great in being Galool. Sometimes Irish sometimes Somali looooool!. I guess it pays off for someone in an identity crisis lol. |
| Muslimsista | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 06:51 am
Salam all
Just as i look at this page......i see lots of ignorant ppl. That keep on confusing RELIGON and CULTURE. I'm sorry but i got to tell it to u how it is to all u ignorant ppl out their. Religon comes before your damn culture. I think every1 should through this so called somali culture which trully has nothin to do with ISLAM. For me personally islam comes before somali. And if i was to marry a non-somalian i would and if my bro or sis would i would still support it as LONG AS THEY ARE GOOD MUSLIMS that is all that matters.
Salamzzzz all
And have a great RAMADAN inshallah.
p.s. i would love to start bashing ppl but I'm fasting
p.p.s. GIESER = OLd MAN |
| Nour | Tuesday, November 28, 2000 - 10:32 am
What do you say about the hundreds of Somali muslims who either married or going out with Non-Muslims( never mind Somalis). We have Somali mothers, fathers, sisters, bothers who are in this situation. It's not negligible number and it's increasing by the day.
I think it's hard for Somalis to remain Somalis except in Somalia |
| Theree | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 09:56 am
I would like to add my two cents to this conversation.
I would definitely support my sister marrying a non-Somali, but then of course I am a non-Somali. I am engaged to a wonderful Somali man, but because of my non-Somali ethnic background his family has threatened to disown him.
I believe that as long as the person they are intending to marry is a good, practicing Muslim, then it is of no concern what their family thinks. For this life is temporary and death is eternal. I would rather base my decisions on Allah than the temporary temperment of my family. If the decision I have made is pleasing in the eyes of Allah, then I would prefer to take my chances with my family being upset than taking the chance of upsetting Allah.
I realize that family is extremely important, however there comes a time when one must make their own decisions and deal with the consequences later.
To conclude, I would to congratulate the young lady who is to marry the American. Good luck with your husband to be, and may sure you both always seek the wisdom and guidance of Allah. Salam. |
| MAD MAC | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 10:51 pm
There
I would also hasten to add that if it's a man in question, he is welcome to marry any monotheist, this is clearly proscribed in the Qur'an. It must not be a Muslim woman he marries. |
| Trauntlabgirl | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 05:06 pm
I will also quicky add that it is not any monotheist woman but a chaste monotheist woman as the Quran clearly describes:
“Made lawful to you this day are . . . chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time . . .” [al-Maa’idah 5:5].
The conditions for a non-Muslim woman to marry a Muslim man are that she should be of the People of the Book (Jewish or Christian) and that she should be chaste.
Salaam. |
| Galool | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 02:43 am
To all
Race is far stronger that religion when it comes to the issue of mixed marriages. If a Pakistani girl falls in love with a black Somali, I guarantee you she would be beheaded by her brothers and cousins. To them you are a nigger. You can pray as much as you want.
Of course if she marries a white man, the family will be all smiles! There is still a great deal of white-massa respect for whites in the sub-continent.
Also arabs will be insulted if their daughters marry a black arab muslim, let alone a foreign one. I challenge those of you who lived in the mid-east to deny this.
My own opinion: anybody should be able to fall in love, make love to and marry whoever they wish. Religion race, colour should not come into it. I would rather my sister marry someone who respects her and loves her, no matter his nationality or religion, rather than end up with a loser who happens to be Somali and does lots of praying.
Cut down on the narrow-mindedness. It is ramadhan and you are supposed to show some generosity of spirit. |
| Arwelo dahlia | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 03:26 am
I think you are right. Race is far strong than religion when it comes to marriages. But this is the contemporary Muslam society. Then I will ask how far are we following the teachings of Islam, and I think that is whre the problem lies.
Lots of praying = a looser.? where is your logic.
Arawelo |
| Idea | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 06:34 am
Galool show ur generious spirituality and spare your two cents of contribution to ur lost soul. I just can't imagine how u still breath among ppl. Advice, pay a visit to the far east and enjoy their philosophical believes, it is far more fasinating than sticking to stage II of human mental development. Stop ur mind narrowness and enjoy the flight to Nirvana :-) |
| MAD MAC | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 08:03 am
Galool
So if I go to Pakistan I can get a Paki woman (pick of the litter)??? Damn, if my woman leaves me I'm flying to Pakistan. |
| Idea | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 10:39 am
Mac Mad,
Dream on that! Monsuier Drescarde might get pleased with you!Muslim women are not for your sort of beings, buddy. So, you better treat your woman right :-)
Arawello,
Religion comes before Race. Not the other way round. Go find some history books and enjoy reading them sis. My favorite section the Crusades! |
| Trauntlabgirl | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 01:23 pm
Idea: Crusades! the only part I liked was the battle of Hattin. Where Salaahudin al-Ayyubi smoked the "pig eating sons of unbeleiving mothers". BTW, I didn't coin that phrase, it was the Saracens who did. |
| Galool | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 02:59 pm
MM
Grow a beard and you will get four if you want! |
| unknown | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 05:19 pm
Galool, wrong advice buddy, they don't like uncircumcised, pig eating sons of unbeleiving mothers, regardless of the length of their facial hair. TLG, sorry I had to borrow that phrase :-) |
| MAD MAC | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 11:51 pm
Unknown
I'm circumcised and I don't dig on swine, so I should be good to go. Thanks for the tip. |
| Arawello | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 04:59 am
To Idea,
Surely, the proper Islamic teachings religion comes first, but what I said was in the contempory muslim society is the other way around which should not be like that.
I will tell you if you try to defend the way muslims are nowdays you will end up defending eating the pork in som societies in the far east.
All I am saying is Islam is an excellent relgion, the religion of Allah. It can solve a lot of problems including racial discrimination. But the fact is we do not follow as it is. May be some of us are trying hard.
Arawello |
| Galool | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 06:35 am
Unknown
Oh yes they do! You obviously havn't been in the sub-continent. You can gorge yourself on camel-meat stay up all night reading the Quran, fast 12 Ramadhans a year, and show-off the circumiciser's cut, but to a Pathan or Punjabi Muslim, you are still a Khala!(Blackie, nigger) I know you would not like this, but it is the sad reality.
This also applies to the Middle-eastern Muslims, but to a lesser degree.
Somali muslims are no angels either. How many of them will be happy for their daughters and sisters to marry our own fellow Somalis from Bantu extraction, let alone other African muslims? Not many. Truth hurts.
It shouldn't be like this of course, but race and Racism have far more powerful pull on societal believe systems than any adherence to any faith can ever have.
Ramadhan kareem |
| Muslimsista | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 01:39 pm
Salamz all
This is for Galool
What U say is true but U must understand no one is perfect. And every1 discriminates against blacks so U cant sit here and say that Muslims are doing all the hating when it really is also Christians and Jews and all the other religions. U cant tell me that their is one religion that exist in the world that does not have a racist person.
And let me tell U that ISLAM is flawless but MUSLIMS are not....
If I have said anything that has offended any1 please forgive me.....and if I have said anything that was beneficial to you it came from ALLAH and anything bad is from me.
Salamzzzz all  |
| Galool | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 01:48 pm
Muslimsista
I never said Muslims were the only racists. In fact the discussion had nothing to do with Islam or any other religion. It was about race and Racism. Christian Arabs and Hindu Indians and confucian Chinese as racist as muslim ones.
The point was we should live in reality, and not see the world through rose-tinted lenses. We are all racists, no matter what faith we follow. It is just the degrees of bias that differ. |
| Muslimsista: | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 01:59 pm
Galool
Sorry for misquoting u. and i totally agree with wat u just said.
Salamzzzz all |
| unknown | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 07:40 pm
Salaamu alaykum
What u guys say is true in some or most countries, but ask yourselves one question: ARE THESE MUSLIMS REALLY FOLLOWING THE SUNNA OF THE PROPHET(PBUH). The prophet was married to jew women!(bet u didn't know that) |
| Guidance | Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 01:23 pm
Galool and muslim sistah
i completely disagree. If anyone is practising true islam they shouldn't have racism in their hearts. and if everyone is racist, you don't always have to go with the flow. Follow you diin , and if that's against the mainstream than so be it.
salam |
| MuslimSista | Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 01:33 pm
Salamz all
Guidence:
I dont think we are here to judge if a person is a true muslim or not. I just think if one tells me that they're muslim but the next mintue tells me that they hate whites/blacks (or watever) then i cant not say that since they said that they must not be muslim. Even though we have been created into different nations and tribes so we know one another. I leave the judge to Allah(swt) and on the day of judgement will be the day they will be asked not now.
I hope that was clear
If i have offended any1 please forgive me and anything good i have said is from ALLAH(swt) and anything bad is from Me.
Your sister in Faith Muslimsista
Salamz all |
