     Guurfiican | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 01:36 am
Practical Aspects of Polygamy
The benefits polygamy has for women and the controls it places on men.
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Benefits For Women
Automatic childcare in a sexist society gives women more effective choice to have a career without devaluing the role of homemaker.
Being able to marry men who are already married means that women can marry men who have already proved themselves, therefore minimising their risk.
Being able to marry the men who attract most women means they don't have to settle just for what's left after other women have the best pickings.
Having the possibility that a husband can remarry without divorce extends practical security to a woman. She needn't worry about losing her husband and income as she loses her looks, because if her husband is attracted by a younger woman, he doesn't even have to think about leaving his wife.
Polygamy removes the pressure on a husband to commit adultery, and removes damaging deceit from a marriage.
Polygamy provides a method where a woman can have a female friend for life as well as a husband.
Polygamy therefore provides more people and a better chance of meeting diverse needs.
Polygamy provides a potential for at least three adult incomes, reducing state dependance and the fear of unemployment.
Controls Placed On Men
If a man wants to have another sexual partner in a polygamous system then he has to meet his responsibilities - pay for any children produced from all his relationships without priority being given to those from a 'legal' relationship.
Polygamy removes or reduces the seduction of innocent young women - If a man promises to marry
her, he cannot use his existing marriage as an excuse for not fulfilling a promise.
Polygamy reduces the number of women who are available. Currently, with more women than men, this 'cheapens' women. With less women available their 'value' goes up. In other words, polygamy makes men have to try harder and do better with women if they are to win them in competition with other men. |
| Trauntlabgirl | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 05:08 am
Masha Allah...interesting post. |
| Perfecthusband | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 01:16 am
trauntlagirl
I read your postings and I admire your judgement in most issues. What strikes more this time is your brief positive comment on the polygamy issue, could you elaborate a bit more please. |
| Traunlabgirl | Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 04:33 pm
Perfecthusband, funny how I ended up in this folder to begin with. I tend to ignore anyposting that is not in English. Anyway, I did comment in the other folder "polygamy works" in the women's forums as u already know by now. |
| Qoonsade | Monday, January 01, 2001 - 09:27 am
To Perfecthusband.
After studying the SIIRAH of the prophet(sallalaahu calayhi wasalam)to comprehend the polygamy relationship, I came to the conclusion that the polygamy is very complicated interprise that I would never be able to fullfil the obligatory duties attached to it. In other words, the issue goes beyond the worldly satisfaction that has no intrinsic values compared to monumental responsibilities that one has take into account, before undertaking an ill-prepared plan that will fail at the end. The subject matter is the Somalis(including myself) are not cabable of fullfilling the rights of one wife and her children. |
| Laboxaasle | Tuesday, January 02, 2001 - 01:25 am
Brother Qonsade
I hope that you take this one with a grain of salt, NO QOONSASHO.
You write " The subject matter is the Somalis(including myself) are not cabable of fullfilling the rights of one wife and her children"
Your statement could be understood that
1. Somalis are not capable to meet ther requirement of one wife.
2. Therefore two wives is out of the question.
If this is what you meant to say, then go read past postings at (polygamy works) at archived discussions prior to 16 Decemebr 2000.
If you meant that it is difficult feat, then I agree with you 100% |
| Qoonsade | Friday, January 05, 2001 - 04:05 pm
First of all, I can,t oppose Plural marriage because it is religious injuction; therefore denying it is out of question. However, we shouldn't be understimating the rights and responsibilities that attached to it. We, Muslims must consult with Book of Allah and the tradtions of our beloved prophet, and that would give us a detailed knowledge with regard to polygamy.
To brother labaxaasle.
I am not discouraging anyone who want to marry more than one wife, but you must understand that if you fail to carry out the condtions stipulated by the Shariah, you will be held accountable for it, when you stand in front of Allah. And such failure could lead you to the hell. I am obliged to remind you and myself that we shouldn't be telling the people to embrace plural marriage, while they are not cabable of fulfilling the rights of one muslim sister. In fact, majority of somalis are lacking the basic knowledge of what is necessary to be known before undertaking this hard task and that is what I intend to bring to your attention. On the other hand, I totally disagree with Guurfiican because failed to mention the conditions must be met before attempting to engage in polygamy business. If Allah permits I will expound more clearly on this complex topic. |
