     Anonymous | Thursday, February 15, 2001 - 02:27 pm
Would you look down on a sis if she told you she loved you? |
| Anonymous | Thursday, February 15, 2001 - 02:53 pm
I'm no religious, but no, I would not look down on a sister, but if i don't love her back that does not mean I did look down on the sister.
If she told you that she loves you, and you don't love her, tell her the truth and she will get over it, but if you feel sorry for her and marry her while you don't love her, it is not fair to you and not to her. Think about it. The Question is why don't you love her back? What is wrong with her-----is there something about her that you don't like? Do you think you will never love her if you marry her? |
| salpal | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 03:14 pm
Assalama Alaikum,
Brother, not many are told that some one loves them, specially in these western countries. It's a plessing. But remember Allah when making any decision. Look at her piety not her beauty. Remember beauty is just an attraction. It wears down with time. But when Allah brings two hearts together in piety, that indeed is a success ( InshAlla). But again if you think you may not be good to her for reasons relating to her looks, It would be much better for you not to go for a relation for you might not treat her well.
May Allah Help You with one of the Most Important decision in your life. Assalama Alaikum.
Salpal,
Samayle. |
| Anonymous | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 07:24 pm
Sanpal, i like what you said. If he does not like her looks and he marries her while feeling sorry for her, he will not treat her well. Married people fight and argue. I'm afraid if he marries her out of pity and not out of respect, love, and out of her beauty, i'm afraid he will not treat her well. He will have to be a strong Muslim to treat her nice whenever they fight or argue. Most men when they fight or argue with her wives (even if they aren't strong or religious) they put up with them because they like the beauty of their wives which please them. If her beauty does not please him and he is not strong brother, it is hard for him to put up with her. |
| Another Anon | Friday, February 23, 2001 - 02:04 pm
Assalamu Alaikum
Anonymous one,
I think the second anonymous hit the nail right on the head when he/she wrote that "I would not look down on a sister, but if i don't love her back that does not mean I did look down on the sister." Indeed it is wrong for anyone, whether it is those of us who are counted on the side of Islam (religion) or those who think they are not practising muslims. Whether practising or not, it is definetly wrong to look down on a sister or anyother person.
PErsonally, I agree with Anon 2: If a sister relates to me such feeling but I have no interest in her, I would simply explain to her my reasoning and why I'm sorry to say no. If I think I'm interested in her, I would certainly let her know that. In either case, I would tell her my feelings with respect. It is natural for us to have a feeling for someone, whether that person is aware of it or not is entirely different subject.
So, as one of those considered to be "religous" or counted as a member of that camp, I would not look down upon a sister but will just tell her my feeling, positive or negative. |
| Qoonsade | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 10:14 am
Use your judgement before you seek advice. Even 10 years old kids will redicule about your query. |
