     Ahmed | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 12:56 pm
Doubtless, women too whine and make accusations. But, what is unacceptable is that men have overdone women here. Finally, tired of the endless lamentations from the two camps, I started to listen to the grievances.
After getting an earful, it seems that the womens' case is based on some tangible arguments. And although I had discussions with many people in the course of my research for this piece, I finally settled for the voices of Ali and Asha.
My first question to Asha, "Isn't it unfair to level many unfounded accusations against us (Somali men)."
Asha: "Listen, brother. You have been so sheltered from facing reality. Today, we are telling you the truth. In Somalia, the situation was such that women were enslaved in order to serve men from the day they were born.
"Our own mothers used to force us to carry you on our backs and change your diapers. We were obliged to cook your meals, do the laundry for you and serve you as if we were your maids.
"Since men have never done anything for themselves, they turn into zombies entirely depending on women. The Somali man sits on his mothers lap before directly moving to that of his wife.
I said in a rather light-hearted manner, "sister, do you think you have gone to far in your criticism against us."
"Brother, listen carefully. This matter is closed. This does not mean that we are not interested in Somali men any more. However, since life outside Somalia is difficult, we are no longer capable of carrying them on our backs or keeping them on our laps.
"We would like to advise them to attend to their own needs. Some of them can't be dissuaded from spending all their time in the teashops. "Please get rid of such bad habits as chewing khat and other counterproductive actives and take care of your own kids. If only they learn how to cook, that would be a big plus.''
"Brother, while we were in Somalia a woman's life, irrespective of her marital status, was in the hands of the man. And the majority of women had no economic power to free themselves. They were virtually a property of the men.
"In a bid to draw economic advantages, it was normal for (families) to force their young daughters to get married to men as old as their great-grand fathers.
"Therefore, (those young women) used to lead a stressful life and endless torture. It was normal for any (woman) who resisted to be slapped in the face, thrown out of her home, and (unilaterally) divorced.
"If I can be blunt, the whining of Somali men is baseless. They are (mourning their loss) -the bad habit of bullying women. They are hard put to deny the tangible achievements made by women and men's utter failure in the diaspora.'' *** |
