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Why do we (girls) have to be virgins.??????????????

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): General Discusions: Archive (Before Jan. 23, 2001): Why do we (girls) have to be virgins.??????????????
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sarah

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 05:05 am
ARE YOU A VIRGIN????
I know for a fact for most the somali guys the answer will be a NO!!!!!!!!!
BUT why are they so bothered about their wives being virgins???
does it effect the taste of the sex that you get from them if they are virgins???
I personnally don't think that u have this view because of u're religion but of the vaules of u're culture. And in our culture the men get up to alot of •••• but still don't get a bad reputation. Whereas the girl only needs to be seen takling to a boy to get her self a bad reputure, and she wiil be known as a slang in her community. It is not that i agree with ppl loosing their virginaty before marriage but my reasons for asking this question is because there r so many somali guys that r not virgins but they r the one's who go around calling girls slangs!
I know guys who r friends of mine that say they will not go out with a girl if she has already been out with someone! ( remind u of someone u know!) i think this is a load of bullshit and if u r going to commit a sin u should do it with the likes of u!!!!
A boy that's lost his virginaty is no better than a girl who's lost her virginaty.
Advise to my sisters; if u don't respect u're religion and u wanna have sex, find a non-somali man to do it with, they r better looking anyway and probably better in bed!!!!!!!

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Somali-Yankee

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 05:46 am
Everybody has the freedom and the choice to do what they feel like...girls are no exception
I salute those who have self-respect and follow their Islamic roots.

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...

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 07:29 am
guys have to be virgins too, this is the case in our religion, but cultra and traditions have seemed to change this.

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DogNite

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 08:32 am
I agree with sahra,it's unfair chicks to remain virgin while guys out there doing doggy-style and right before their batteries wears-out they wanna ended up with unactivate branew chic,it's shame yo,and we dogs have to stop that yo.me personally I liked wide open,cause wider is always better and I don't wanna see anybody carrying on my shoulder,so all the chicks that's unactivate plzee keep it tight and the once are already activated plzee be my CHICKEN-SOUP

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Roooooots

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 11:59 am
Sarah, stay white girl, understanding u above speach i take as you have been around the block more than once. u attitute suggest to all them decent somalian girls to go and hoe around, what is wrong with u, keeping u virginity is up to the individual, so stop acting like u were born like a hoe, have some respect for mother and u somalian culture. trick u disgust me dont be posting such nonsense again,.

p.s, keep on sucking some others niggas woods caue i aint let u touch mine, nevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hoe.

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ABCD

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 01:04 pm
SAHRA


YOU RAISED A GOOD TOPIC AND IT DESERVE A PROPER RESPOND.FROM THE WAY YOU ARE TALKING YOU LOOK SOUND LIKE A VIRGIN.BUT ONE THINK YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND.THIS IS NOT ONLY SOMALI GUYS PROBLEM.THEIR IS NO GUY IN THIS WORLD ,UNLESS EXTEMELY RELIGIOUS WHO WOULD ADMIT THAT HE IS VIRGIN.AND INFACT 60% OF UNMARRIED MEN ARE INDEED VIRGIN.20% HAD SEX ONCE OR TWICE IN THIER LIFE TIME.THAT LEAVES YOU WITH ANOTHER 20% WHO HAVE UNCONTROLLED SEX.AND THEY ALWAYS END UP WITH AIDS AND EQUALLY DEADLY DESEASES.MEN WOULD ALWAYS SAY THEY HAD A SEX THEY NEVER HAD,IN ORDER TO STAY MACHO INFRONT OF THEIR PEERS.SO WHAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE THAT THEY WOULD TELL ABOUT THEIR VIRGINITY WHEN THEY CANT DARE SAY SO INFRONT OF THIER CLOSE MALE FRIENDS.
ALAH SAID IN HIS HOLLY QURAN THAT A SINNER WOULD ONLY GET A SINNER.AND THAT IS FOR REAL. SO IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR VIRGINITY TO AN OUTSIDER,REMEMBER ONE THING ,WHEN YOU COME BACK TO YOU COMMUNITY,YOU WILL GET NOTHING,BUT A SINNER,AND SOMEONE EVEN WORSE THAN YOU.YOU WILL NOT GET A GOOD MAN,AND THAT IS A PROMISE ALLAH MADE YOU.AND ALLAH'S PROMISE IS FOR REAL.IT IS RAMATHAN,YOU SHOULD BE PRAYING ALLAH,NOT SPREADING MISCHIEVE,AND MISLEADING YOUR SISTERS,INTO SIN.IF ANY ONE TAKES YOUR ADVICE,AND COMMIT SIN,THEN YOU HAVE HALF OF THE SHARE OF THEIR SIN.SO DONT TELL YOUR SISTERS SOMETHING YOU WOULDNT DO YOUR SELF,COS I BELIEVE YOU WOULDNT DO THAT.IT IS OVIOUS THAT ONLY ANGER IS MAKING YOU SAY SO.BUT REMEMBER EVERY ANGER HAS ITS CONSEQUENCE AND A PRICE TAG ON IT, FOR GOOD OR FOR WORSE.
MY OWN SISTERS VISIT THIS FORUM,AND I CAN NOT KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT WHEN SOME ONE SPREADS MISCHIEVE,THAT WOULD HAVE ADVERSE EFFECT ON MY SISERS.

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Ubax101

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 01:49 pm
Roots,

The lady asked a question, she didnt ask for insults. So how about you answer it nicely before the bouncer takes you with him?

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raaxeeye

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 01:51 pm
I don't want to be long here, but I want to give advice to my fellow Somali men
who are married.

Men you should be thinking of ways of satisfying your women's need in bed. I
have seen so many women's in the website who are not happy with their
partner's sex. Here is my 10 Points which are key to Good Sex Life,

1- First make sure that when you starting the sex that you both have nice
shower and use dash cream lotion and after shave.

2- Turn the light off and use candle or colored light.

3-ask your wife to wear a sexy pajama and underwear.

4- Start cuddling your partner and giving nice massage with oil, so you both feel
relax and and comfortable.

5- Make sure that you start kissing the women's nibble and the back side that is
where most women get turn on and try to go down slowly and kiss all over her
body.

6- Let your wife hold her hands in your penis while you are doing the fingering
and the french kissing.

7- Move your wife legs apart and do 69 style.

8- When you both feel high in the sky, then change the style and do Doggy
Style while holding her shoulders and hair.

9- Try to change the sex position regularly so that it does not get boring.

10- Finally the last but not least try to kiss your wife and tell her how much you
love her after you had the sex and cuddle her.

I hope all of this are useful to married men and also to the Prospect Married
Men.

good luck

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Anonymous

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 01:55 pm
YET A ANOTHER CREATION OF THIS MANIAC CALLED GHETTOGIRL
STOP THE MADNESS
RAAXEEYE AKA GHETTOGIRL I LIKE YOUR TALENT
YOU SHOULD USE IT TO WRITE A BOOK OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF WASTING HERE ON SOMALI NET

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naag-waalan

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 02:23 pm
raaxeeye war bal class maad na siin aniga iyo habo aanu saaxiib nahay baa u baahan lesson eh.

iisoo sheeg

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janan

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 02:33 pm
Damn people it is ramadan?:O

Raxeeye gabadhaha cashar sii:O

good one boo.

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raaxeeye 2

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 04:39 pm
waaryaa raaxeeye sheekada badabkeeda waan fahmaye
bal fadlan ii sharax (69 iyo doggy) stylka
aan bal xoogaa dheeraada kaa faaiidasto e.

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Ugali

Monday, December 18, 2000 - 05:33 pm
fucking walendos,yo all unholy freaks,sexually frustrated,if you need a real dick look for ugali dick.stop fantasizing what you are not cabable of.freaks.

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observer

Tuesday, December 19, 2000 - 11:05 pm
This is for sahra, I just want to tell you that If you allready lost your virginity, on your freaky one night stand, It is not convincing to my beautiful Somalian sisters to take your so-called advise.I am very certain, an average Somali girl who has strong familly back groung and of course Islamic religion, would only react to your message as a hoe who want take other sisters with her footstep.As has been said, one fish pollutes the whole sea, let me tell you, you can't manipulate in the minds of my sisters, If your "cheap and clean" Pusy was allready been polluted.
Just keep it to your self.I know you are an HIV living.Suggestion, just have some respect, for your self, and your culture and religion, what ever you want do, do it behind doors.

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SurReal

Tuesday, December 19, 2000 - 11:13 pm
People lets not go off the deep end here. Sahra was just trying to make an obvious point and instead of trying to reason with her, you guys started attacking her. Her question is quite logical, I think it's meant to attack our cultural beliefs that have lead to so many misconceptions. We all know the benefits that come with chastity and the purity that Allah has asked of us unwed females. Alas, the question still remains, why is it that the males in our society are not rebuked for their incestuous relations. It is mind numbing to find that a fellow that has been promiscuous is the one we find in the end settling down with a nice young wholesome girl. As if to say they can go around robbing many young girls of their purity and then brand them for life as "brazen women". It's not to say these females are blameless, but we all know the kind of societal consequences they face, but what about the scoundrel who got off scott free. Is this justice, for we all know it takes two to tango and if blame should be dispensed, then let be equally. I think that is what Sahra was trying to say, before you all started attacking her integrity. People try to be empathetic to situations and when someone asks a question try to understand where they're coming from before jumping the gun.

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Idea

Tuesday, December 19, 2000 - 11:55 pm
sarah: being virgin till you get married is sign of ur self respect, sign of ur devotion only to the future husband, sign that you obey Allah's commands, sign that u use ur Mind first.

May Alllah protect you.

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sarah

Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 02:00 am
This is to the brian dead dick that calls himself ROOTS!
nigger plz don't be telling me and other sisters to respect our culture, when it is this culture that dis respect our women, and treats us like second class citizens!!
So roots what exactly is u're denfinition of a decent somali girl?
Is one that cooks her bother's food, iron's his shirt, puts out the red carpet every time he enters the door and never answers back?
well bro, an actuall decent Somali girl would be educated, and respects her religion and know what they want from life!
so we don't respect our culture because it's male orientated!!
u might think y i posted this on the net, the reason is that this is needed to be told to the scum that read that r always on the net

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MZEE

Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 09:56 am
Yes Ugali

tell them how it is--Walendos and their Fantasies. If they only had UGALI they wont be havin all this problem...with UGALI....

Kuma ita kufa

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DUULANE

Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 10:08 am
SAHRA: i like the last part that u said, go do it with another race, they're probably better in bed_it's funny, cuz u sound like ur exprienced with them niggers. but i don't expect everysomali girl to be good. i know we have a lot of hoes out there, like u. but keep doing your thang, just don't clame to be one of us.

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Anti-Western BrainWash.

Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 10:32 am
First of all I THINK RAXEEYE is maxishoode.
Secondly so is the 1s who agreed & asked his advise, shame on YOU.

I bet raaxeeyey U still have not done such a think and also i believe U use SAABUUN instead of PUSSY.

Wish U a BIG hore and HIV.

OVER & OUT.

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NIMO

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 12:51 am
IF YOU READ THE QURAN ALL OF YOU WILL NOT LISTEN TO THAT ...... WHO ADVISED YOU MEN TO DOGGY STYLE YOUR WIFE IT'S HARAM AND SHE CAN DIVORCE YOUR ASS IT'S A SIN TO •••• YOUR WIFE FROM BEHIND YOU ONE SICK ••••••• RAAXEEYE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A KAFFER

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To SARAH

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 06:47 am
TO SARAH

Naagta haloowday BIKRADEEDIINA sida ay sheegatay waa hore AJNABI aan u malaynaayo JAMAICAN siisay gabdhayaohow yay idin galaafan hore baa waxaa loo yiri:

"SHARMUUTO walbi waxay jeceshahay in GABDHAHA oo dhami sideeda noqdaan"

Waxaan walaalaha GABDHAHAY ah ee soomaaliyeed uga digayaa inaysan sida tan meesha ku soo qortay ha la dhiloobo oo kale noqon.

Waxaan kaloo WIIL iyo GABRBA ku waanininayaa inaysan HANBO noqon oo hadhoow markii reer la yeesho MASHAQO dhacdo! oo habeenka u horeeyaba la kala shakiyo!

Walaalkiin

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ZAK 2 SARAH

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 07:40 am
SARAH U GOT A GOOD TOPIC THERE BUT U HAVE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE..WE AIN'T EQUAL...NO MATTER HOW PPL TRY TO EQUALIZE IT IT JUST WON'T HAPPEN I GUESS IT'S HOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE...NOW TO BE OR NOT TO BE VIRGIN IS UP TO THE PERSON AND NOT THEIR GENDER.
ZAK

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ROOOOOOOOOOOTS AND HEAD DETECTIVE

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 09:52 am
listen hood coakraoch why r u disrespecting our decent somalian ladies that have raised with respect 4themselves and their culture. trick , freak dont mean to insult u but get osme serious help an dstop sucking on some wood, tank god u came to NA or u would be in somalian or were ever ufrom with 10 kids and in the kitchenfrying so shut up. i hate hoes like u, once u all graduate from esl course posting some nonsense issues that u r shiiting on u self and u people. i know u think u cool now, but ask u mother to read what u wrote and ask her how she feels about? if agrees i am sincerely sorry and i will never never come on saying nothing elser on the net.
P.s, i got sister u r somalians and i know u aint speaking for them, so just talk about u innercirle or gheto birds that like 1 brother said got everyone on their boby cracked open shiiit. trust me trick higher education will definately get u in shape for u brain dead.

One last thing maybe we r jumbing to conlcusions and some1 of u brothers have wrong u,but sis we aint all like that, and i am sorry for what they have done to u, however dont cry dry u eyes.

4 UBAX101- DONT TALK TO ME, U AINT IN MY LEAGUE YOUTH

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Muslima

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 10:47 am
Sarah sis

Unfortunately, you've put out a topic amongst a bunch of ignorant fools. Our society is full of many good men that respect woman, however the vast majority of Somali men are under the impression that sex is for MEN. An act inflicted on WOMEN for the pleasure of MEN - be they married or otherwise. MEN have been circumcising women and removing their god-given clitoris in an attempt to deny all sexual pleasure for woman. So sis don't be surprised if this topic of yours doesn't go down too well. Somali men, from the stories I've heard from married sisters don't know how to satisfy a woman, hence it's vital they have a virgin who knows no better..

One day, when as is happening now and more and more everyday, when these same fools wake to find that there are just a handful of Somali woman left that will put up with their nonsense they may start to question why that is.

By not respecting us Somali woman and treating us like the treasures we are, we WILL find those that will. Many have begun to do so already and it seems to be a growing trend. And as a Muslim we are not bounded to Somali men, but to Muslim men.

Somali women have not only put up with their egos, with their laziness but have massaged their pride and now it's not reality based. They seem to be under the impression that we need them. We don't. Somali men are not a necessity for Somali woman, they’re a bonus. Nor do we need some misguided society to condemn nor label us, nor should we be second class to anyone. Our religion won't allow it, it doesn't allow it!


Sis, accept that it's a lose to them and not to us. It would seem that your last comment was in anger, however your not far from the truth, like I say more and more Somali woman are opting for respect and love outside the Somali Community, as apposed to ignorance and stupidity.

Your topic is not one that can be addressed by Somali men, as this would mean they need to look at themselves and reevaluate thier actions. No more having the cake and eating it too. I guess this indicates that they are not ready to grow-up and change. The question is are you prepared to wait in the hope that they do?..

As for the brother that has sisters and doesn't want them to be misslead by this topic.. I think you should check where your interests lie?.. Is it truly in the happiness, guidance and balance of your sisters or in keeping the Family name?.. Would you be happy for your Virgin sister to be married off to a 'reverted' Somali man?..if the answer is yes, would you under that same breath say yes to marrying a 'Reverted' Somali woman?..


THE QUESTION IS Y NOT?...WHAT MAKES THEM DIFFERENT IN ACT?... ARE THEY NOT BOTH RULED BY THE SAME ISLAM?... OR IS THERE ONE FOR EACH?... IS THE VIRTUE OF BEING A VIRGIN BETTER FOR ONE THAN THE OTHER?...

This is what Sarah is asking, as you know well and not missleading your sisters. I'm sure your sisters can think for themselves and your BIG BROTHER act isn't helping them.

Muslima

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Anonymous

Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 10:53 am
Muslima aka Ghettogirl you really need to stop and just come out the closet!!!!!!!

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Somali

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 06:02 am
To Muslima

You spoiled the beutifull NAME (MUSLIMA) please do not use that UserName and at the sametime defend the PORISTIUTES.
Somali men do not need PORISTIUTE, though we do not care a VIRGIN becouse we maried the WIDOWS but we care clean and MUSLIMA or religios women.

To Sahro
SAHROOY waxaan hubaa IFKANA duli baad ku noolaan, Aakhirona cadaab haddadan toobad keenin, weliba Rabadaan baa lagu jiraaye ALLE usoo noqo.

Somali

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Somali_Yankee

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 10:02 am
Sex is something to be enjoyed both by men and women.....sexual gratification of both patners within marriage is vital component of healthy relationship......sex shouldn't be seen as something to be inflicted on women by men....i do admit alot of somali guys see it that way but not everyone of us is da same.....sex outside marraige is simply wrong..........those who have self-respect and understanding of Islam will know
the right thing to do.....others who are tempted by few minutes of pleasure will face the consequences in the day of judgement.
Muslima....abaa i know lot of somali guys take somali women for granted.....but times are changing.....men are begining to understand their ignorance.....they feel the need to change....true
alot somalis girls are marrying outside community .....it is growing trend but failing one.....i don't know where yu live.....but the place i live in houses quite few somali women with non-somalis kids that are divorced.....their kids are torn between two cultures....they are left angry and confused.
As for women rights......abaa i encourage to fight for somali women's rights......you shouldn't however see it as fight agianst somali men.....but as fight agianst ignorance....believe me not all of us wish our women ill.....i feel delighted when i see young educated somali women with understanding for culture and religion...Somali women have more freedom than many women in the world......women in the mideast,south Asia and many parts of asia are more or less considered slaves....i lived in Asia and sometimes facts are shocking.....women in the west face different kind of abuse....they are mentally abused, discriminated agianst and least respected.....this trend continues as time passes America is a living proof.....the media and culture portrays women as piece of meat....from sitcoms, soap operas , movies , to hip-hop...rock....to the sreet life.
Sahra.....abaa don't reason with bunch of boys.....follow ur heart....sex outside marriage is wrong....somali man who lost his virginity shouldn't expect his bride to be virgin...yu made alot of sense....perhaps yu be willing to educate our fellow somali men.....marrying outside our race won't be remedy for somali women problems.....stand up and fight for yu rights.
we need to educate our soceity as whole

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Moh

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 12:27 pm
To Sahra and Muslima

Dear sisters, as you have noted there are lots undeserved criticism towards you guys. Perhaps, some misunderstood your stance or they are reluctant to acknowledge your point of view which you rightly asked. For bros, I don't understand why so many of you, guys, are not answering a simple question. It would have been better or intellectually wise to address the problem rather than unleashing a venomous assault to your auspicious sisters. Let not be no doubt where am coming from. Surely and without hesitation I am not defending any woman or man who breached the boundaries of our guidelines set by our religion and tradition. Let me make clear one thing bros and sis, don't feel ashamed about your wonderful and rare culture. We have to embrace it as other nations do. Being in foreign country has its downside. More than anything else you tend to compare and contrast between the two cultures, right...ok if you do so its tragic and irrational to reach that your culture is inferior than the compared. Time to time we do things we regret in life, but that doesn't mean we can't talk about it. Yes I would marry someone who is not virgin. That choice is for me not anyone else's. Dignity, integrity and respect among your peers is earned commodity not inherited nor you can buy from " I am Mrs/Mr Popular shop window"...

Answer the answerable, forget speculative statements.

Ignore the ignorant, because they are pompous.

It serves not purpose if we all want is to polemicist about our views (virginity)..I have read some of the responses. One thing am sure is that the things we condemn are the things we are capable of. Some are accusing you that those who shout the loudest usually have the most to hide...in simple terms what they are saying is that explaining is half confessing. I don't subscribe to that belief whatsoever, sisters. But if you put aside the irk because there is luxury in self-reproach you might get different response. And Sahra....Those who complain about women usually have a particular one in mind. Sure Sahra we are all prisoners of our experience, learning from it its the best advice.

" I grumbled because I had no shoes - until I saw a man who had no feet"....believe me the aforementioned is what made me realized that there are different sides to every problem....being rational and logic ought to be the keys.

Anyone can give an advice but not the wisdom to go with it.

Slowly, slowly catchee monkey..

Be your own judge not other's

Moh....am bro by the way

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Hebel

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 01:31 pm
Sarah why ask such a question?
.
.
Have we had an accident?
.
Are we freaking kicking tires or what?
.
Let me make sweet and short:
.
For U to be a Girgin proves the ability and the patience of such person.
.
Mind U, never I forget the innocence of such a person.
.
Never forget the American old say; Ya can't have yar cake and eat too, damn it.
.
IM sorry this proverb only applies to chics.

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Miskiin-Macruuf-Waryaa®

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 02:44 pm
Salama...

Rabbigiina Raxmaan oo Raxiim waa idiin jeedaa, haddii Hooyo/Abba idiin jeedin.

Kasteen ma'ahaa?

Hebel:

Ma faydaa, widayoow? Waa lagu waaye, nooh. Ar iga qabso Xalwo-Hilaal taan aan kuu qariyey.
_______________

Ciid Mubarak!!
Mac-Salaama!

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Muslima

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 05:31 pm
1st to Somali n Anon...

I'm a Muslima.. and proud of it... u must learn to read, absorb and understand.... do not project your own nonsense and inadequacies onto others... if you've done wrong deal with it.. if you don't understand the topic and the issues I've raised pls reframe from commenting until you find assistance in comprehending.. if language is a barrier, take up night school, - whatever your defect I'm sure you can find a remedy, if not cover yourself from the eyes of the public.


To Moh and Somali Yankee.. the comments where much appreciated and thanks for stepping up to our defense. I was a little harsh in making my point but did mention that we do have a number of fine men in our community. However, my brothers you have also managed to dodge the issue of answering this topic. How do you guys feel about this, what is your view, is a Non virgin woman better than a Virgin or vv, how would you compare this to men?.. as a man, why do you think it's better for men than for woman, why does our society thinks it so?... or are things changing?... Would you prefer your younger sister to be sleeping around or your younger brother… who does this impact?

I believe that an insight into what YOU men think, will help not only men to think things through but to help us understand where the fear lies... as I'm sure there’s fear involved, and hopefully a light at the end of this silly tunnel...

Muslima (n no one else)

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Muslima

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 05:42 pm
Again,
Moh and Somali Yankee, thanks for giving hope to this topic and in the Somlai man.

Many thanks for your comments, although there are some points we could 'discuss' further we'd be going off the topic in hand.

Muslima

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T-GIRL-QueenOfHearts

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 06:09 pm
V- - - - Very
I- - - - Intrusive
R- - - - Retorically
G- - - - Great
I- - - - Individual
N- - - - Naivity..........

If U remain a virgin you shall be respected by all. Allah will reward you and Men will hunt you down as if it were the fox hunting season. Hang on to your prides people and U shall seek the pleasures and longevity later in abundance (INSHALLAH).......Abstinence is the way to go.....

PEACE :)

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somaliman

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 09:36 pm
Damn


T-girl I thought they banned fox hunting in the UK?
yeah my fellow hunters let's go fox(virgin) hunting somewhere else.

Power to the virgins

Virgins Rock baby

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harun

Friday, December 22, 2000 - 11:59 pm
To Muslima, please forgive me sister, If any how I offend you, the issue I want to raise wouldn't be too long.First of all as a Somalian man this is what I want say to the Somalian sisters, that being lost your virginity is a choice you want to make, please do it, cause it is your life you have to make the choice for the better or worse.However if you don't want do it, please don't do it, and not follow how others, want you, behave.As far as me I always respect both virgin and not virgin, If the future i want to choose both candidates, I will go with the virgin, sister, cause honestly to Allah I am 23 years old virgin Somali man, many of you may surprise, or simply say, bull, however is upto you how you take it, conclution, I beliefe being a virgin, women or men, is a secret golden, opportunity that one has when he meets his/her future mate, and also blessing from Allah,If you think I am a virgin cause is something shame or I am from baadiye, you are steriotyping the issue of being virgin, and bet you city was always a place that I lived, I was born and grew up in Nairobi, Kenya, currently live in USA.At the end of virgin tenell, no body should be judged, it has nothin to do being a girl or boy, it has to do by being coming from a strong familly, which has our beatiful Islamic religion, and culture.Thank YOU so much my bro/sis of Somali, I love you all.Only good coments will be appreciated,
Salamu Alaycum
Eid Mubarak.

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Somali-Yankee

Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 12:49 am
hi....muslima...abaa to answer the questions yu posted....one has to look at our culture....as muslims one knows sex outside marriage is wrong but as somalis we made an exception to that rule....we view men who sleep around as being something normal....perhaps this is so coz somalia is male-oriented soceity.....in other words it is men that defines what's morally right or wrong....and they do so to their own liking.....somalia's culture ain't perfect and is baised towards women....this could be tackled if we educate our people and understand the true meaning of THe Quran rather than memorising it.
To answer ur questions more precisely....i don't think non-virgin women are better than virgins.....if i was a man looking for a woman.....i wouldn't expect her to be virgin....my criteria in choosing my patner would be based on her current state.....not on what has happened in her past....what will matter to me is her personality....her faith....her love and her trust....no man who sleeps around should expect his bride to be a virgin.
i hate to see any of my younger siblings male or female sleeping around.......this not only increase their chances of contracting STD but also diminishes their morality and subsquently their humanity and self-respect....i would more concerned if it was my younger sis.....the reason being that she could be more regretfull and ashamed and therefore more alienated....i think it is harder for girls to get back on the right track if they messed up....n our soceity doesn't make it any easier......however i did see people men n women reformed and some of them have even started their own famalies.....it is who they are today that are matters to anybody.
n yes abaa times are changing.....hopefully for better.....somalia as whole is coming out of age.....we have a unique oppurtanity to capatilize on our losses.....somali women need to be at the centre in the restructing of the country to ensure their freedom and also establish the respect they have so long being denied.....iam sure many somali men are in the same boat with yu and understand the need for a change......the somalis in somalia has been effected by war and things have changed.....the civil war has exposed many of our weaknesses as society....one need to learn from them and mend them....we could do this together as women and men of somalia.
i hail those who abstain from sex outside marraige....Allah will guide those who follow his path.

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Moh

Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 09:27 am
Muslima, thanks for being appreciative. Without delving deeper inot the subject, I didn't not dodged the question nor parried dear. Whatever I say can be construed differently. Personally it makes me no different if I marry someone who is virgin or not. In short am indifferent. What is important and not to be overlooked is how we preceived one another. Its inappropriate - because I see the debate as contagion of uncertainty and fear- hypothetically, to speculate your point of view. I am not seer nor can I decide how will I react if someone I know is what you described. Without being self-absorbing and self-assertive I wouldn't be happy to see someone I know sleeping around. Isn't prejudice the reasoning of fools.We know the fairest silk is stained first so if I pass my thought hypothetically and label someone is less important than someone because he/she made mistake or done something contrary to our beleif then am staining the particular person for no reason of mine. Lots of things don't matter very much- and most of things don't matter at all. So, Muslima, The people who think themselves important are the biggest hypocrites.

Girls no one can hurt you as much as you can hurt yourself. So stay with your feeling. Don't do things because you want proof someone wrong. You know Muslima, the most beautful bird gets caged first. Peace and love all yo.

Moh......it was a man's world until the arrival of Eve...we are equal people

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Muslima

Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 06:58 pm
Somali Yankie & Moh

you both come across as well balance individuals, theres hope for us yet.

I guess I've been generalising and there's been some projection on my part. My general understanding is as expressed by Sarah, that as you say (Somali Yankie)Somalia is a 'male-oriented soceity'.

I doubt that there's much more prolonging of the topic, however I hope this view point is one that is shared and adopted by many Somalis in the future.


Harun,

Respect to you and yours...

Muslima

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Moh

Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 11:37 pm
Salaan everyone

I am not sure I can agree with you that Somalia is "male-oriented society"...I rather you say we are family oriented society. Our culture is strong and vibrant one. I am sure every society will theirs is the best in the world. Of course, it isn't perfect but we can take much pride for serving us till now.

peace
Moh

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???

Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 02:13 pm
THIS IS FOR ALL MY SISTER'S TELL ME SOMETHING WHAT YOU ALL THINK WHEN A MAN ASK YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH HEM ,DO YOU AGREE WITH OUT THINKING OR DO YOU ASK YOU'RE SELF HOLD ON IF I GO TO BED WITH HEM I'M GOING TO LOSE A LOT OF THING'S AND HE WONT LOSS ANY. WHEN I LOST MIN I WAS VERY SAD I FELT LIKE I LOST SOMETHING PRECIOUS AND EXPENSIVE CAUSE MY HUSBAND HAD TO BAY A LOT OF MONY FOR THAT. TAKE CARE AND KEEP YOUR LEG'S AND MOUTH SHUT.YOU ALL GIRL'S DON'T RUSH TO BE WOMEN........

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Montel

Tuesday, December 26, 2000 - 10:18 am
To: SAHAR

Girl's u should stay VIRGIN don't fall Victim to HONEY keep the pussy tight, close u legs open u eyes. if u are not virgin the Margie will fall in the short-run. But hay this is LONDON. u can •••• anyone including a Nigger for Jillib or Jowhar so what.

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Anonymous

Tuesday, December 26, 2000 - 11:23 am
GIRLS I LOVE VIRGIN GIRLS CAUSE I COULD SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE.

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Taz

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 - 12:55 am
Sarah,

The reason a girl/women has to be virgin is that for her husband to brag about it... as is he has freed the holy land. LOL

TAZ

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Montel

Wednesday, December 27, 2000 - 09:50 am
Yeah one more thing if u Boyfriend ask u for SEX just give him Blow job to keep him happy.

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SAGAL

Saturday, December 30, 2000 - 08:47 pm
I DON'T KNOW? COULD IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT IT'S UN-ISALAMIC FOR BOTH GENDERS TO FORNICATE. "THOU SHALL NOT FORNICATE". JUST SAY "NO" BITCH. DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE LIKE BUILDING UP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.

•••• I HATE STUPID BITCHES LIKE U.

HUGGS AND KISSES
SAGAL

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2peace

Sunday, December 31, 2000 - 04:26 am
Muslima & moh
i agree with u to the fullest you showed understanding that many people simply don't have
i have been through this sort of arguement many times before, i'm against girls giving up there virginity and i'm agianst guys too but the question sahar was about the way guys treat girls virgin or not it's true if a girl is seen talking to a guy she is lapeled as a slut why is that huh? all you men out there who know nothing but to trow insults i suggest you keep your comments to yourself if u can't answer the damn quenstion

p.s muslima i do think that somalia is a male-oriented society"

thank you

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hotbabe

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 10:16 am
u don't have to be unless u want to be

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Sirrus

Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 08:02 pm
Well Well Well haven't we adopted fast enough.

Somali Culture: (Partially Islamic)

Male dominated, Islamically oriented. Males only marry virgins, males sleep around while girls stay pure. A society that has no sex before marriage. Where the female organ is mutalated so that she doesn't have pleasure. No dating, or talking between the sexes is allowed. Because people talk and can't hold their noses to their business. Where girls are married young so as to not to give them time to realize life. Where sex is seen as pleasure for males not females. Where nobody talks about sex at all (conservative). Where the family, clan or tribe decides the fate or girls because their "honor" is at stake. . Where Allah is feared and yomul kiyama.

Western Culture (Etheistic)

One must have a girl friend or boy friend. Where sex is celebrated as the best thing ever happened to women and men. A society where an equallity exist between men and women. Where on average males and females lose their virginity at 13. Where the individual not the family makes the decision. Where great imphasis is placed on sex and freedom. After all this is the land of the free. Boys score, and girls open their legs. Where there is no body to answer to, I mean does Jesus care if you f..uck like rabbits. Condoms, abortion and pregancy pills are giving to school children like it was normal. Where boys get girls drunk then ride them.

I can see where the CULTURAL SHOCK is coming from. Sahra and Muslima you are right, boys and girls are equal, if we sleep around why shouldn't you. If we can't say no why should you. After all, somali girls back home are dumb idiots, they should learn the ways of their "LIBERATED" sisters in NY. Oh I also hear some boys sleep with two girls or have anal sex with girls, you should look into that there might be an equality issue there. You all need to realize we have our own culture, don't ever compare it to western culture, because if your dumb _SS were never allowed to leave somalia you wouldn't have this prespective, but now that you do, by all means go ahead. Oh I hear the ITALIAN, JEWISH AND WHITE GIRLS are sleeping with more guys than you, try catching up to them. I hate confused somali girls, I love and respect my other sisters, as long as she is true to her culture, religion, family and self.

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LAYLA

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 10:49 am
NIMO
HE DIDN'T MEAN PUT IT UP HER ASS, HE WAS JUST SAYING HIT IT FROM THE BACK BUT STILL IT GOES IN THE SAME HOLE. AND THAT IS OKAY, IT IS SUPPOSSED TO BE AS LONG AS YOU PUT IT IN THE PUSSY IT DON'T MATTER!!!!

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