site-wide search

SomaliNet Forums: Archives

This section is online for reference only. No new content will be added. no deletion either...

Go to Current Forums ...with millions of posts

ME, WOMEN AND MY COMPUTER! PART 1 ( STUDBOY)

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): General Discusions: Archive (Before Jan. 23, 2001): ME, WOMEN AND MY COMPUTER! PART 1 ( STUDBOY)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

STUDBOY

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 05:24 pm
"HAVE YOU EVER LAID YOUR HEART ON THE LINE AND HAVE THE SKID MARKS TO PROVE IT"

After all the complications and disappointments, when I was sure that I had suffered enough through very possible way of being dumped, I pulled myself together and decided to control my own dating destiny, I would take matters in my own hands and create the women of my dream.

Thanks to latest technologies. If I am successful I could over come every frustration that had dogged me in the past--may be even the dread timing factor! It took me six months to assemble an incredible computer system, made of most highly developed components on the market: a 3-D page scanner, an advanced wordprocesser, a Hi-tech graphic animator and a box of old wallet-sized photographs. For what I had in mind, only the best technology would do.

For inspirations, I thought of all women I had dated and what attracted me to them. The box of pictures was like photo gallery of my love life. And as I passed the page scanner over their faces and saved them in my system's super-memory felt my heart soar and then break over each one.

I spent several hours entering the images and tracing each one lovingly with mouse. Then from each women, I chose my favorite parts: Amina's honey- colored hair and Marian`s fiery eyes,layla`s up-turned nose and the playful corners of Ayan's mouth, the delicate lines of Bilans neck, Sarah's athletic shoulders, Fatima's firm chest, Aisha's slinky hips and Deeqa's long, Athletic legs, Well rounded lucrative rear-end and her generous up-front. She was from head to toe a woman of stature and awesomely good looks. I run all the elements through the graphic animator, and the result was breathtaking.
There before my eyes in living color, was my ideal woman, first time in my whole life I had what I want from women "COMPLETELY". And first I had no idea why she would want to go out with me.

For her wardrobe, I turned the page scanner on catalogue from vogue, Bloomingdale’s, Victoria's secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood not to mention Dirac, guntiino and gorgorod mom use to wear. Nothing was too good for the women of my dream. Then I typed my first words to her " Hi there, haven't we seen each other some places before? She turned to face me and smiled. "Was it Gaalgacyo or Dixon or YMCA?' I continued hopelessly, but there was barely any reaction she blinked and smiled again but said nothing, and I suddenly knew what was wrong. Without question, she was stunning beauty. With the entire right feature in all right proportions a beauty, yes-but with no personality. DAMN! ~.

Working three days straight without eating or sleeping I thought I'd covered everything. But somehow I overlooked the obvious. A scanner can copy a face, but not SPIRIT! How can I make the computer understand that?.

To keep my strength up, I went out to the all-night supermarket. As I waited at the checkout counter with gourmet micro-meal in hand, a headline in tabloids coughs my eyes: " BRAIN DOCS SAY SEX IS IN MIND." I grabbed the magazine from the rack and found the story. Some scientists in Toronto had hooked laboratory mice to magnetic resonance imager or MRI machine, and then showed them picture of shapely female mouse in lace stockings and sheer nylon teddy. Scanning the mice with the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Machine) they discovered a part of the mouse brain that was excited by the dirty pictures, a part they called the Amygdaloid complex. The scientists were sure they could get the same results with human subjects, although it might require taking new pictures.

I shook my head with disgust wondering what goes on in the mind of white folks and their pathetic sexuality, what a mice got to do with lace and stocking?... still wondering!.

I raced home as fast as I could, In the catalogues piled up by page scanner, I reached for the one from the sharper image and ordered a portable MRI with credit card. They delivered in the next morning.
Now, by tapping into my own brain with MRI and feeding into the computer, I could recapture the spirit I was really after: Bilan's sophistication and maandeeq's warm, Ayan's fire and Safia's wit. My ideal women could have the sensitivity of sacdiya, the openness of Farhia, the quirkiness of Amina, Fatima's youthful spirit and shukri's dark sensuality. But when I tried to put her all together in the system, I had to be honest with myself. It would be foolish to think I could have it all in one person.
So I began to make a choices, to prioritize, to compromise. I tried various combinations. First I went heavy on Modest and tenderness. In this woman I saw a quiet intelligence, but, as I got to know her better, it turned out that she had never danced the mambo and had no inclination to learn. Then I went opposite direction. I tried a spontaneous, aggressive version, but this woman took one look at me and bolted across the screen. I added loyalty to compensate, but now I had aggressively loyal women who wanted to take charge of my life. I could see then that it was matter of proportions, of balance, so I lowered the loyalty factor and blended in more sensitivity. Almost complete, I give her cleverness and a little more sensuality for good measure. Now the women of my dreams truly had everything: a pretty face, an outrageous body and extremely active Amygdaloid complex. Our first night together passed like a dream. And as I got ready to log off, my mind was filled with possibilities, like so many other nights in real life drama, but this time I have a new self-confidence. Not only would I have asked her to stay, but also I knew what would happen when I told her how I really felt about her. All this on a first date! Now I wanted to fold her in my arms and bend her to my will, but drawing on everything I had learned, held back, I wasn’t going to blow this one so easily. In my experience, it was always best to lay the foundation of relationship before having sex, though I have learned --the hard way-- which you could go too far, even with the best intentions. In this case, no matter how close we got, there was always something between us: a 19-inch video screen (Monitor). After a few nights together, we were dying to touch each other and couldn't wait a minute longer. As we reached our hands up to the screen, sparks flew, and I felt a terrific shock run through my body. The sensation wasn't bad; in fact it was kind of a turn-on.

But I knew that if I carried on this way the entire project was in danger. I risked losing the love of my life, and not only that, but a serious fire hazard, too. If we ever tried something that involves lubricants, there was a good chance I would kill myself. I thought I had solved the problem when I linked a laser-driven holographic projector to the system. Suddenly I was face to face and in the same room with my ideal woman. But the first time we got physical, I knew the solution was inadequate. Sex with holograph was an empty experience. Before, there was a definitely something between us, but now there was nothing. I begged her to be patient, while I am worked out the technical difficulties, but I saw no alternative. I had to take the ultimate step.

I turned the page scanner on my high school yearbook pictures; next, I scanned the latest issue of GQ, catalogues from the computer factory, Hammer schlemmer and the craftsman section of sears-roebuck, and for a variety of settings. back issue of Travel and Leisure, National geographic and Better Homes and Gardens. When I hooked myself up to MRI for last time. I was more excited about the project than ever before. If this plan worked I would realize an even greater fantasy than meeting the woman of my dream: to live my adult mind in my adolescent body.
I arrived on the other side and took her arms, and we never look back. We toured the wildest of the wild in African continent, starting the peak of Horn of Africa Somali.buurta Daalo. Proceeded to Kenya Serengeti Park, National Park. And then we settled into our Aspen retreat, as featured in a Better Home spread. I sent her flowers everyday by electronic transfer thanks to phone modem on my mega-system and 1-800-flowers. We never wanted for anything, and our sex life was more than simulated- with my teenage body and her highly active brain, we tried every position from desktop to laptop to heavy interfacing, making love in megabytes that would have blown the circuits of the machines in GTA (Greater Toronto Area....)


to be continued...

stay tuned....

Disclaimer:
None of those above name represent real life acquainted person. they are all fictious names.

{Studboy@canada.com}

I would like to hear from creative young somali writers. lets see what you have in order to spice up this tension filled forums.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

SHUSHU

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 06:46 pm
WELL DONE STUDBOY. I CANT WAIT NEXT PART

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 08:24 pm
BRAVO!!

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR PART TWO.

HIBO

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

SurReal

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 09:05 pm
This incestuous saga between you and your factious ladylove have me glued to my seat speechless. Very creative indeed, I'd like to take you on a similar journey from a female’s perspective but I have to lay low for a while. Ah, you must kill the suspense, can't hold on any longer, tell me what's to become of your cyber haven, there has to be a antagonist and more importantly a conflict, and thus a chiller. Alas I wait biting my finger nails thinking of what's to be and have this tune in my head that won't subside "do you have to let it linger" (cranberries) :0

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

wisdom

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 09:13 pm
man u got a gift...WRITING...keep working on it...

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

devils_love

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 09:41 pm
For once I thought U were depicting a scene of me and my PC. Believe me it has become..a true companion...Well PC's might replace the sought-after Models in the future...at least virtually


Hey I am impressed ...it is indeed breath taking....a master piece....when is the book version due to be released....if you have not committed to any deals...Devils Publisher...would be a good place to start...just an alternate to consider.

We do need a young aspiring writers like you. Keep it up. And we shall be proud of ya.


devils love

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Monday, January 01, 2001 - 09:48 pm
All of that comes from a guy just knows one word
HEY..lol....impresssed.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Marian

Tuesday, January 02, 2001 - 04:00 am
that is true master peice indeed keep up the good work studboy.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Tuesday, January 02, 2001 - 05:46 am
looooooooooooooooool studboy i thought you were only cyberhusband but never knew your writing talent.

good job boy

waiting in exhale..lol you know that i have crush on you but don't add me on your computer list.

one-of-your-many-cyberwives

muc luv

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Tuesday, January 02, 2001 - 08:11 am
lol very funny

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

FAHIMA

Thursday, January 04, 2001 - 05:08 pm
bro you are really good story teller.........lol

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Friday, January 05, 2001 - 10:12 am
still waiting ya next episode.......

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Hebel

Friday, January 05, 2001 - 12:01 pm
THIS IS THE END OF THE STORY.
.
.
PART TWO WILL NOT BE MADE UP FOR LACK OF FINANCIAL Doe’s AND MEANS.
.
SO U LADIES AND GERMS DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YA SURE AIN'T GONNA STAY HERE.
.
THE END.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

STUDBOY

Friday, January 05, 2001 - 03:45 pm
Hi guys

It is me again..of course studboy lol just keeping up with this tension ridden forums. I would like to hear from young talented somali writer. So, please if you know any just invite to come here and write something ......

studboy

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

X

Friday, January 05, 2001 - 07:32 pm
studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy WHatssssssup??

I cant' believe I see this story of urs.lol..Is this the Essay ya handed 2 the teacher b4 ya drop school?lol...and thought ya could share it with the rest of the world huh.lol...2 bad that teacher gave ya D- thought..:)...man' I just wanna say Happy Late EID and HAPPY LATE New YEars..Take care alright.PEACE!!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Mocow

Monday, January 08, 2001 - 11:03 am
lol. cool stuff i like it.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

BIGMAMA

Monday, January 08, 2001 - 06:36 pm
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE SEEN ON THIS FORUM.WE NEED MORE LIKE THIS.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SRUDBOY.

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

Anonymous

Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 07:34 am
lets see part three....................peace

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

ZOE

Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 01:00 pm
STUD MOTHERFUCKER HABAR GHIDIR
WHAT AGAIN?
GO ON ..LET ME SEE PART 2 AND I WILL COMMENT THEN...

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

faarax

Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 07:02 pm
simply awesome

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of pageLink to this message  

SISTA

Friday, January 12, 2001 - 05:39 am
hey stud we been waiting your third part for ages! duh what is wrong with you man? please do not disappoint us.....

SISTA

Feel like posting? Pleaase click here for the list of current forums.