     In_Love_4_Ever | Tuesday, January 23, 2001 - 12:20 pm
I remember it ! That awful day when i met her and my heart went for her. I knew she was the perfect woman. She had all that is desired in woman, and i thought how lucky i am. How could i have known what would have come in the future? if only i knew!!!
That image i have adored for so many years is still so fresh in my mind pasted to it like a treasure so precious that my whole body shudders when i think of discarding.
Aamina was a girl i loved for so many years, althought it took me more than a year to win her, she was nevertheless a woman i chose to love and cherish with all my heart. On many occasions when i saw her crossing the street in front of my home, my heart used to miss a beat and my legs gave up walking. She had a tremendous influence on my life.
We met, we loved, and we had planned a future that was never to come...
And worse still, i diult my life around her and became totally debendent on her. love is crazy sometimes and i laugh openly when i recall the memories of Aamina...
I recall vividly that Wednesday. I was fasting and was standing in the balcony just gazing the beauty of nature and trying to steal a glimpse of her when she passes. As i stood there, i heard footseps behind me, and there he was, Ahmed, my freind whom we shred a lot even the rent.
He handed me a letter that was squeezed in his hands, and couldnt figure out what it was all about.
"Aamino told me to give this letter to you" he said as he retreated back on to his room.
Without word, i obligd and started reading the letter.
"Dear Qeys" it read.
"For so many years i believed in our love and never thought i will stop loving you or desrt you, but then it is love's tragedy. I have hoped for the best for both of us. I have been introduced to my future husband by my father and i have accepted it. I know you will find your destiny. When people love each other, it doesnt mean they should have to live together. we can love each other even if we dont live together but then this time it will be a reverse love of brother and a sister. You are too young for me and believe me, there is a time ahead of you."
These words struck me hard in the heart, for moments, i seemed to be gasping for air. I couldnt believe wht i was reading. I had no choice but to continue reading,,,:
" I have wondered in life for a long time trying to find someone i can depend on. I do appreciate for your being there for me all the time. I loved you is a word that seems simple to say but mens more to the lovers. Your sincerity , i have no doubt.I need to settle down and lead a life with a person who is qiute independent and old enough like me.
Of course, you are everything i desire in life but then i shouldnt have to be naive to just please you.
You are quite an outstanding young boy and i hope you will forgive me for the pain i have caused to you during our relationship"
Was my love dead just because i was 22 and she was 33? i thought about it and couldnt figure out. Was she teasing me to test me, to see the extent of my love. For a while, i delved into my imagination telling my soul that everything was ok,,and is giong to be ok. I lied to myself. This was real and it was happening.
As i looked again in the letter, tears droped in my eyes. Sadness was all that was visible on my face.
For days i locked myself in my room, agitated and frustrated. The tought of her. It was as if i was in a room watching my whole life with her. i could hear her voice , that lovely voice i cherished and based on my life.
Sometimes facing the reality is more painful, and i tried as much as i can to admit that i have come to the end.
I devise plans to sooothe my poor soul. Anyway, life went on month after month without seeing her.
One day however while i was in the same balcony, Ahmed inform me that her marriage was going to be held the following week.
I looked at him seriously. It was as if i was looking at the devil. Why was he bringing all that news that kills my soul? The man signified to me the lucifer in human corpse and i told myself i shouldnt be living with him anymore.
But i was wrong of him.
Oneday, however, i took the pen and decided to wroite to her. I should let her know that life ithout her seemed impossible for me..
"Dear Sweetie" i started tring to figure out whether it was really a good beggining:
-"It was long time since we last saw each other"-i wrote.
-"The very thought of living a life without you scares me as i look in the horizon and try to look into the future, but then it all appears that fate has determined our respective destinies. You are beggining a new life while nature is damning me into pain and suffering that i cant endure. It hurts alot and in my case, i believe it hurt me more than i can withstand.
The very thought of you marrying scares me and takes me closer to my grave. Every night, as i lie down in my bed alone, i stay awake lest i might close my eyes for good."
Tears wee following down my cheeks as i put these words into the paper....
-"I no longer know what is right or wrong, life has never been the same since you left. You were that shining spot in my life that i was waiting to cherish, but gone gone forever out of my life for reasons i will never understand. Is love really so cruel? inever knew that either, if only i could go back and ....
I seem unable to go further than this, but in all my life, you were the best that i have seen and loved. I have memories of you that i cant erase no matter what i do, torturing me tpo death.
I wish you the best in your marriage and above all this i wish you a happy life, you and your husband."-
Forever in pain
Qeys
"
Ahmed delivered the latter, thereafter i havent heard from her till the day before the marriage.
I was in my room backing my clothes and my belongings in luggages as i decided to leave that province.
There was a knock at the door and i thought it might me these regular freinds who always come to chat with us. So i ignored for a while and then i heard a hard banging . i slowly went there unlocking the door.
I couldnt believe what i saw when i opened that door. Aamino beatifull as ever standing there in front of my eyes.
I idnt know what to do? She came closer and hugged me, speechless.
-"I changed my mind" she said slowly untangling her feelings that has been closed in tight door
-"I couldnt withstand the very thougt of you, no matter how hard i tried"-she bursted out tears dropping continouly.
I closed my arms around her and we both cried endlessly as we looked each other.
-"You are my soul, i cant let u go away like that"-she said as she clung to me.
-"me too, i said softly as i slowly started kissing her forehead and my favourite eyes, the sympathetic eyes of Amina....
=
' |
| 4EVER | Tuesday, January 23, 2001 - 04:09 pm
war naga amuus nacas yohow. Ragan waaween ee calaacalay waa maxay.
peace 4EVER |
| Hope | Thursday, January 25, 2001 - 06:32 am
Dear Qays:
for some reason when i read ur words, i felt like choking, my tears were burning my eyes and my finger that i was clicking the mouse with, started shacking.
It's a true tragic and a beautiful writing that gives courage and love a whole new meaning.
I'm not going to be mean and say ur story is not logical, ur story is sentense's built from a wide imagination, you know why??....u c, every word you typed hold between it letters pain and suffering cuazed by a beautiful dream, u wished it continued, ur words drew a perfect picture , ever thing u said my heart pictured and was amazed at, ur discriptions of ur friend ahmed handing u the messages to amina's eyes.
If i keep on telling u my feelings , i will probebly never stop...all i finlly wana say is to me personaly after reading ur story with ur beloved amina i admired u, for admiring love, and knowing the true meaning of it.I lost alot the day i buried my heart with my own hands forcing it to stop breathing and viewing an other day with allah's magical gifts.
U know until know i never found love, and never wished to find it.
u will be surprised my brother if i tell you that i sometimes feel ashamed of telling my own mother how much i love her, i feel like i'm losing pride and i am bowing down, you knwo it's really weird, down inside i know i adore her more than anything , and the thought of me losing her kills me, though i never say i LOVE u!!!
I finally found the reason, u c i never believed that love will bring u happiness, in fact it's all based on safering with pain. I learnt a lesson from u Qays , love must exist and we commiting a sin if we don't let it express it, love breaks all boundaries including age .
All the best to you brother and to amina 2! |
| kaltuun | Saturday, January 27, 2001 - 09:58 am
walaalo,,this is really heart-breaking story,,one piece of advice though,,,become a writer,,because for the whole time i was busy writing,,tears formed around my eyes...really.....u know how to invoke feelings of pity.. |
| Anonymous | Saturday, January 27, 2001 - 10:33 am
4everlol |
| S | Saturday, January 27, 2001 - 02:03 pm
4ever hahahahahaha u funny
in love am happy u fond
the one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4ever hahahahahahahahhah |
| HonestGirl | Saturday, January 27, 2001 - 05:50 pm
Inlove4ever..........brotha thanx for bringing tears to my eyes.......its been a while since i cried.....and believe me....without crying, life is boring.............
I wish u nothing but luck my dear brother....and 2 amina too...........and remember......age is nothing but a # if u really love someone.......!!
much luv always
ur sistah |
| Anonymous | Saturday, January 27, 2001 - 06:16 pm
forever S-H-I-T |
| Born | Sunday, January 28, 2001 - 12:30 am
Brother...
Oh!..Reallyi don't understand yet what want in me i felt something i have never felt before i have read so many love stories but ur love story was Xeptional..Bro How damn it was ya never read from her eyes that she was there for you why do you felt ya should leave that city man when i women love's a man there is sign ya could read as ya alwayz watch her every move ..Bro..bytheway i felt sad reading the biginning of ya story but at the end ya got her all and really that decrease my sadness wish ya all the best ..for me i have never fall in love but i have feeling for those felf in love wather they succees or not ...Man ya succeed in ur love never let it gooo..She is ur every thing .....And you must be for her every thing.... |
| beerlula | Sunday, January 28, 2001 - 06:50 am
To: in Love 4 ever
Wow! Anyone ever tell you have writing potential? If not honestly u should think about it cause u do have. |
| HAter-GiRL | Sunday, January 28, 2001 - 12:14 pm
in loooove 4 ever
i am glad it worked out AT THE END,wallahi i was this-close to become emotional,you know i am not used to crying,but when it comes to stories like this i never hate.anywayz when is the wedding,invite me man,did y'all lived happily ever after?just curious
4ever
get a life fool |
| ANISA | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 06:33 am
4ever
i was trully captured by every letter in every word u wrote!!
i wanna ask u have u got a job in writing????
because if not ur wasting ur time!!!!!
please write this story as a novel and show it to publishers, if u don't u r wasting one of the many talents allah has given u!!!!
u were born to be a writer and trust me i think i should know quality writing when i see it!!!!
another thing i was so touched by ur story, its amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Allah has given u true love, so don't mess it up!
I'M SURE U WON'T!!!!!
I THINK U HAVE TO WRITE 1 LAST MESSAGE 4 US TELLING US HOW LIFE IS 4 U NOW !!!
U HAVE INSPIRED US ALL!!!!!
wishing u all the best in life
(and Amina)! |
| In Love 4 Ever | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 11:30 am
That day though,Aamina returned to her home. She wanted me to know that she wasn't going to marry that man. She told me to stay put until this matter resolves. As she was leaving my door, she looked at me one more time and told me that no matter what happens, i would be the one in her life.
Alone on my room then, i sat down with happiness and sadness. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate whether it is the result of pure joy or the tiltilations of love. I cant describe that feeling that filled my soul that day, feelings that words alone can never convey.
I heard the rumours around, as i was always up to date with every little event in my area.
Haboon was the only girl i trusted with my secrets with Aamino. She was always snoopy,searching and digging and finally bringing the little details of every situation that concerned me and Aamino.
This afternoon however, Haboon didnt look well. Somehow she looked pale and agitated. I have never seen her in that state before and wondered, my mind taking back to Haboon's life as i was well familiar. Thought after thought, i couldnt come up with any explanation.
-"Perhaps that Jamma did something annoying to her"-i said to myself, giving up any further consideration of the matter.
-"You know ..um..umm"--She hesitated and looked around to see if there were any invisible persons around.
-"what?" i responded, very curious to know what she was about to say.
-"Nothing...um..er..um..i just wanted to ask you something,but then i changed my mind". She said forcing a smile to appear on her face.
-"Well, then", i said shaking my head as if i knew what she was hiding from me, "Haboon, if only you could see yourself in the mirror and the way you look, you would then understand why i am so curious and want to know more of what you are keeping behind your head".
She stood up and went in the direction of the door. She stood and looked at me for a moment and said:-"I will tell you all about it in the evening, right now i am so tired and cant even finish the whole story".
She left me hanging in suspension, without clue.
Sometimes it is even harder to understand those who are closer to you, let alone a stranger whom you have never seen.
There is uncertainty in everything we cherish. You try to have your own way . Patience is a virtue very few are blessed with. I had no patience and went to her house more than four times trying to sollicit from her a clue as to what the matter was all about. But there she was with her persistence, and i couldnt change her slightly.
Ahmed was sitting alone on the sofa when i came in. He was busy reading a book, his favourite book. I knew his favourites for i lived with him long enough to know him. Though we argue on many occasions, we seemed to be getting along together and resolving our differences in amicable way.
-"I am moving out". He told me after we exchanged a few words of here and there.
I was shocked. A week ago, it was me who was moving out not because i didnt want to live with him but because i couldnt endure the thought of living in an area where the woman i loved was to be married. I was running with my pain,worries and tribulations.
-"I dont know what to say". I told him frankly.
-"Is it because of me and what i do that made you leave me in the middle of this situation?"
-"No, no, i didnt say that." he shouted angirily--"you always misinterpret my intentions". He said finally.
-"The truth is you too will be leaving here", he added.
-"I shouldnt be leaving here, you're mistaken". I told him though a little bit of skepticism crept into my mind. Questions were now travelling up and down in my head, but i ignored them easily trying not to depict myself as hopeless and helpless as people thought of me.
-"Why do you say that i will be leaving?" i asked him laughingly, trying to trace what he is indirectly saying.
-"You didnt hear then, i guess" he said slowly.
-"I was told of it by Haboon, and she told me that she was going to tell you, didnt she?" Ahmed asked me honestly.
-"no, absolutely, she came and sat here with tragic eyes and sadness engulfed all her face".
-"Aamino was found dead last night" he said as he stood and walked away.
I couldnt believe what i have heard. My eyes became fixed unable to move even to look around. Something horrible hit me deep down my soft spot. I wish i could touch it. I went to the morgue to see her soulless body. So herenious was the way she was shot. Mercilessly, Aamina's life was ended. Her father wouldnt allow me to see her body in the morgue. On many occasions while she was alive, her father threatened me if i dont stop seeing his daughter. I told him Aamina was an adult person responsible and capable of making her choice. But he insisted tht i stay away from her. I to;d her all these stories and many more between me and her brothers. But she was always oppologetic telling me that she always professes her love for me in front of them.
I touched for the last time her cold body, and i was unable to leave. I cried helplessly as my emotions took over me. I am a living tragedy, i told myself as the morgue attendant slowly took me by the hand to a chair in his office. He asked me how i was related to this girl. And i poured out my heart hoping that he might tell me otherwise good news. It helped though to talk about it.
Life has never been the same since then. Worst of all wa the day of her funeral. Her brother hit me in the noise with such a strong fist that blood started to ooze from my nose. I didnt feel any pain. I already considered myself those who are wretched in life. He was led away by the people who were there during the funeral. An elderly man of his fifties came to me and we talked. In fact he was a wise man. He told me the way ahead and encouraged me to go on and continue with my life.
Aamino was killed by her family. That information surfaced latter when i moved out of that province.
She refused to marry the man whom her father had chosen for her, and because she simply refused, she was sent as if her soul was in bomdage and belonged to them.
The worthiness of life isnt measured in terms of loyalty or obedience but rather the conscience of the individual person. Her grave was my place of regular visit. I was nothing absolutely nothing before i met Aamina. She was the lady who thought me about life and what it means to live. I was simply a guideless creature roaming aroud with no objectives in life. I owe her more than a mere visit, .
I looked into the horizon one day and decided to go on even though she aint here anymore.
Her memories are living with m. It has been three years now since her death. But to me, she lives forever in my memory, intact and as beautiful as ever. Life should have to continue on and on.
May her soul rest in peace for eternal...
--------------------------------------------------
I hope you guys have asked me to finish the story ,,there it goes,,enjoy it,,.. |
| SurReal | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 12:01 pm
That my friend was a sad tale indeed, but weirdly I knew of the outcome when you told us of your last visit with her, for tragedy was lurking in the air, and you set the mood very well.
Well I only want to ask you if this story of yours is true, and if so what ever became of her family ??? Where does it take place and how are you coping with your loss ?
If this be a fictitious tale of woe then, let me be the first to congratulate you on your creativity. Your roommate Ahmed was a hateful creature, but I kind of admire his character. The bit of you being 22 and she 33 that was different and new may I say. Why would a family have a strong hold on a woman that is 33. |
| In Love 4 Ever | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 12:34 pm
Sureal,,and the rest of the brothers and sisters
I do really appreciate your input. The story isnt real,it is fiction..but nevertheless, the main reason why aamino was still with her family becomes very clear when one observes the trends that are prevalent in our somali culture...Ladies are known to stay in till they are married. I dont mean as an offence though.
Aamino grew up with her family and her world was centered around them. For so many years she was a prospective expecting to go down the aisle, unfortunately, fate had in store something she never thought of. A tragic figure who cant make choices when it comes to the selection of her husband. That is still so prevalent in some part of soamlia, i hope you would agree with me.. However, the underlying objective of the story was to depict that merely a person shouldnt be forced into situations that they arent happy with,,.
Aamina didnt want to marry the man her father arranged for her.....was she a commodity to be given without even considerig her position?
Why did Aamina accept her father's suggestion of marrying her to that man?,,she did that simply because that was what she was conditioned to believe...That parents should be obeyed even though you arent happy with that choice..
...
The other part of the story concerns the realization by aamino that even though she desires to please her parents, her heart wont allow her to..so she decides to quit from the arrangment, thus causing her father an embarrasment.
This was only a summary of the story,,i am currently busy writting an extended one ,,it is almost 150 pages now,,I tried to shorten it and see how people perceive it..
I am also influenced by similar story though mine wasnt too tragic. I am also thoughtful of the fact that age aint that important when it comes to marriage or love..
Quite frankly, people tend to overlook the importance of responsibility and commitment and many other hosts that are major players in one's life..
Similarly i imagine and compare the conflicting attitudes betwen the youth and the elders and try to find at least one thing that they share,,if you look at it from this point ,,you will see that love can be the uniting factor that can bypass the boundries between those whose ages are quite different,, |
| Hibo | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 12:36 pm
4ever-in-love: I considered myself.... as someone with whole lot of sad eposides in her life......but looking at urs makes mine a mere one. I thought I wore the dress of tragedy...but agony is one in which u r all wrapped. I am sorry aboowihiis tragedies do happen........that is what makes life so mysterious.....BUt I must agree with Surreal....what kind of family have hold on a 33 yrs old....woman?..Infact what has my curiosity is the place where all this happened? And what did the Law of the place did to the criminal who has committed such a vicious, merciless brutal murder?... I know I sound like the INS to u ......but its in human nature to be curious....But this is truely sad one!! I gotta give that to u  |
| In Love 4 Ever | Monday, January 29, 2001 - 01:03 pm
And above all, one thing tht i delibarately omited from the story is the setting,,i havent a specific setting. i merely used a general setting in which our imagination can create the rest,,the flow,,and etc..
I understand your concerns ,,,nd i thank u for really your open discussions ..you all seem to be concerned as to why a woman of 33 yeas old is still within the confines of her family..
As i have earlier said,,settings play an important part in the story development and solutions are more likely to be found in the general setting rather than looking a specific individual ,,..We had a young lady who grew up in home where her parents are living,,she waited and waited to get married,,with the approval of her parents...she could have gonne and married any man of her choice,,but aamina sacrificed all this not just to please her parents but also the setting,,the society where she lives expects her to conform with their way of life....A woman who overrides the decisions of her parents ,,is really outcasted,,not only by her family nut also by the society she lives with who always create negative inpressions of her,,..
I really fell in love with a woman who was 33 years old,,nevertheless, she frankly told me the truth that i am a young ,,too adventerous, and sometimes cant see what she considers as abstract,,i have agreed with her even though i loved her,,..and can you believe i was present during her marriage,,,now she has a child and he was called after me,,..i visit her ever month though she lives quite apart from me..the main point however is that no matter who you are ,,your destiny is in your hand,,/// |
| HAter-GiRL | Tuesday, January 30, 2001 - 12:31 am
in love 4 ever
i can't believe i fall for this bullsh!t
man did u copy that from shakespear book,if yes which one i would like to read it. |
| CANO | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 01:40 am
TO INLOVE4EVER
ARE U SOMALI? IT MAY SOUND LIKE A DEAFT QUESTION BUT U SEEM TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. WHERE DID U LEARN TO WRITE LIKE THAT. BROTHER PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR TALENT, U R A BORN PROFESSIONAL,THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST STORYIES THAT I HAVE READ, PLEASSSSSSSS,I BEG U TO TRY AND GET THIS PUBLISHED AND BY THE WAY WHAT DO U DO FOR LIVING?
I COULDN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF THE SCREEN AND WHEM I FOUND OUT THAT AMINA DIED I FELT LIKE SCREAMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, I'M GLAD I DIDN'T THOUGH COZ I'M AT UNI I WOULD HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
ANYWAY YOU ARE THE BEST
AND EVENTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW U I AM PROUD OF U BROTHER, FOR YOU'RE ABILITY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF SO WELL AND NO DOUBT CAPTURING THE ATTENTION OF A LOT OF PEOPLE.
PLEASE WRITE BACK TO ME AND LET US KNOW THE OUTCOME OF THIS WONDERFUL TRAGIC STORY
LOVE U ALL |
| hana | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 11:28 am
WOW i never seen any one who write like that. keep up the good work bro, and start thinking about the next story u ganner write for us?? |
| kamal | Friday, February 02, 2001 - 12:23 pm
Simply astonished...
In 1999 i once started a topic in which i tried to convince those that were present in general chat, i stated that amoung those that were present on that day there was a good chance we were in the company of a possible future leader of our people!
To this day i stand by my statement, amoung us there are potential:-
-Educaters
-Imams
-political leaders
-entertainers
-warrior
-artists
The list is as endless as our imagination does allow...
Optimists cause changes...
Pesimists inspire optimists...
Nuetral minded only allah[swt] knows their value.
I pray we have our share of dreamers for Allah[swt] inspires in them the changes that we desire and through their art we see posibilities and through their words we here about it...
L[in]ve4ever keep the dream alive... :-) that which has not been dreamth can have a possibility of being realised...
s/calykum |
| hawa | Wednesday, February 07, 2001 - 12:11 pm
wow this was a great story,,damn ye,,do you know that?..walaahi..i mean it..get yourself together and start writing bro,,i am telling ye,,you are a very creative talented guy,,if you can capture the people's heart with this ,perhaps u can even do more than tha,,,think of it and let me know what you think,,,walaahi you can write and move hearts with your words better than many best-seller writters,, |
| katherine | Sunday, February 11, 2001 - 02:32 pm
were there cool guys like u in where i live, i could have fallen for ye. Let me know your next story.take care |
| ask-qaawan | Monday, February 12, 2001 - 09:20 am
ahahaha INLOVE-4-EVER u fucking liar posting love stories from books..reading ur danm tedious story i missed my classs.danm love is attraction based on sexual desire there is nothing more to it than that
yu captured and enthraled the attention of soft-hearted people woman and child-like people ofcourse who are easilly cheated...naturally women and child-like people olways are naive easilly manipulated
piss off..hide and never vent ur vulnerability publicly
hehehe byee bro keep posting. |
