     Muse (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Why do you think the divorce rate of the Somalis is so high these days? |
| Somali Victim (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Like most things in life there is not just one answer to this question. Most people seem to rush into marriage to fast. These days if you have been dating for a couple of years then ‘there must be something wrong’ is what others will say. In a recent survey, 4 out of 5 married people didn’t even know the surname of their spouses eyes. This is really sad. Yet people are getting married everyday because they seem to think that it is the answer to all of their questions. I don’t believe that anyone can truly love another, unless they know themselves and love themselves first. In a fast food, one hour photo, quickie kind of world how is anyone supposed to have a chance at getting to know themselves. Ask yourself, when was the last time that you even spent 30 minutes of the day alone in a quite room, reflecting your own thoughts. People used to have close families and a sense of community together. People used to also take their weddings vows seriously, but today most people forget them before the honeymoon is over.
Today people are rushing around, selfishly trying to make that extra dollar for themselves. People say that they want love, but most people have no one to set good examples for them, or show them exactly what real love even is. Some people even believe that sex equals love. Compound this with a list of prerequisites that most people have about someone they want to marry. True love is usually way down at the bottom of that list, if it’s even on their list at all. Mix in a few movies that say that it’s ‘cool’ to cheat on your spouse, and maybe a few rap songs here and there that degrade woman, an attitude of a total lack of morality … and I’m surprised that the divorce rate isn’t even higher yet. People used to care about being romantic and respect each other, but today people just respect their own selfishness. No ones willing to compromise any more. And probably most importantly, no one is communicating any more. Without communication, a relationship will simply suffocate. There is a big difference between a married couple, and a family. It wouldn’t be so bad if people simply waited before they started having a family, but they don’t. Divorce doesn’t hurt the two people originally involved as much as it does the children. They are often treated like pawns, and never have a vote as to what should happen. They are the innocent ones that seem to really pay the price in all of this. It’s just simply too easy to get married these days, and even easier to get a divorce. It’s like they say, easy come, easy go…
If Qabiil is the case, then i haven't got all day. |
| Somali Victim (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Like most things in life there is not just one answer to this question. Most people seem to rush into marriage to fast. These days if you have been dating for a couple of years then ‘there must be something wrong’ is what others will say. In a recent survey, 4 out of 5 married people didn’t even know the surname of their spouses. This is really sad. Yet people are getting married everyday because they seem to think that it is the answer to all of their questions. I don’t believe that anyone can truly love another, unless they know themselves and love themselves first. In a fast food, one hour photo, quickie kind of world how is anyone supposed to have a chance at getting to know themselves. Ask yourself, when was the last time that you even spent 30 minutes of the day alone in a quite room, reflecting your own thoughts. People used to have close families and a sense of community together. People used to also take their weddings vows seriously, but today most people forget them before the honeymoon is over.
Today people are rushing around, selfishly trying to make that extra dollar for themselves. People say that they want love, but most people have no one to set good examples for them, or show them exactly what real love even is. Some people even believe that sex equals love. Compound this with a list of prerequisites that most people have about someone they want to marry. True love is usually way down at the bottom of that list, if it’s even on their list at all. Mix in a few movies that say that it’s ‘cool’ to cheat on your spouse, and maybe a few rap songs here and there that degrade woman, an attitude of a total lack of morality … and I’m surprised that the divorce rate isn’t even higher yet. People used to care about being romantic and respect each other, but today people just respect their own selfishness. No ones willing to compromise any more. And probably most importantly, no one is communicating any more. Without communication, a relationship will simply suffocate. There is a big difference between a married couple, and a family. It wouldn’t be so bad if people simply waited before they started having a family, but they don’t. Divorce doesn’t hurt the two people originally involved as much as it does the children. They are often treated like pawns, and never have a vote as to what should happen. They are the innocent ones that seem to really pay the price in all of this. It’s just simply too easy to get married these days, and even easier to get a divorce. It’s like they say, easy come, easy go…
If Qabiil is the case, then i haven't got all day. |
| Waryaa (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Salama........
The Question itself--if may i have a chance to rephrase then let me have that oppurtunity to do so "Why do I think the divorse rate of Somali is so HIGH nowadays"? Well..sir..the typer, the writer..opinionist..columnist...bro/sis...you said (keep in mind) "why" instead of "what"...and that makes a great deal of so bilge..which then i intend in its meaning that it is not a correct format question to forward to....US...but it asks the question yourself. If i didn't make a sense here see yourself how it changed from a great deal to double greater deal...again i will rephrase it for only subtituting two words from it "What do you think that the divorse rates of Somalians are so high today"? This question makes to straight-forward ones to the observers who either participate if they care or not. But your question asks us that we may know that it is HIGH in automaticly aspect without any prove that we know they are "at least increased percentage of divorsers". When you said "why" that then denoted i reasonably know the circumstance and subsequence, and the situation is believed as a true ones. But let me say we (I and some others who have my identical opinion too) know NOT a thing about it but i know only that Somalians don't divorce much...perhaps your community does...but ours in some sight-seeing appearance doesn't. Then that is why i was repeating you to have a question that have to its forward than its oblique. If it is true that Somali divorce had (have) increased in much numberical ways..then you could ask a "why" question, however if we NOT know that then...what do you think.
Let me back the question...in whatever it seems or means. In an opinion of an average thinker, i don't know that it is a "qabiil" to blame, but environmental adaptable. Here i give you an instance to demonstrate my opinion: You know that it is not as same as it used to be in back home when we (males) marry a lady and left her a home alone. In home she was adviced to stay there as much time needed as here...but unlucky the premises in here changed by naturally condition of the atmosphere around; thus she can't no more tolerate that fiendish behaviour by their husbands' ludicrous. In here (West) they want their own manipulate and voluntary. To have their own rights, whereas a Somali husband can't also abide that newly formed condition by a "wife"..that then in some perspective stimulates this greater risk. The more minunderstoodment, the more divorse you have.
That was your question if you persisted "why"...but if it was a "what"..i have another positive option ones..bro/sis. |
| Waryaa (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Salama.......
Ooopsssssssss..the name was "Muse" and because i used in my previous statement "bro/sis"..whereas it should be "bro" right? lol...In fact though, i saw NOT it (ur name)..now upon here once more based on my apology bro if i caused a great offensive "attack" lol...I really thought it was an "anonymous" name....Blame not my ....but my poor ...lol...peace out Macalinka..Duqaa...Xariifka..Igaarka..Golhayaha Caalamka...Qatarka...so on hee..lol |
| Khalid (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
To: Muse,
I don't know the statistics but I agree that the divorce rate is increasing among Somalis if not skyrocketing. I think there are several factors that could be attributed to its increase and I don't think rushing into marriage as was eloquently suggested by Salama is one of them. On the contrary, Islam teaches us to rush into what's good and I think marriage is one of them. The way I see it, most of these divorces occur in the west and for good reasons. Of course, every reasonable individual knows why and I don't intend to get into that now. |
| Luul (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
1) Lack of LOVE/Passion dad yar ayaa jacayl isu guursada and that couses lack of trust and when there is no trust there there is no Iman
2)Unfaithfullness Men/Women are cheating left and righ xataa ma yaqaanaan hadii ay qofkaan kaaga dhamaatay horta iska fasax and be with who ever you want to be with.
3)What have you done for me lately is the trade mark or the loggo for somali women today and the reason is Somali men do not want to work and they still want to hold on to the traditional role.
4)The view men who work go to ups their wives and the very first thing those woman want to do is make her family rich couse she does not understand this paycheck giisa in uusan labadooda iyo cunuga imaanayo ka badnayn, so labo kalaa helayso waxaa la dhahaayaa single mother noqo canad iska dhiib , ninkaa dacweey child support qasab aa looga qaadayaah.
5)Labadi isla xamaalanaysan , waxaa imaanayso I was working all day too why can't you help around the house and the children.
I can go on and on and on
Good luck to us all |
| Playahater (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Well i would say that it is all of the reasons above, but i think there is something that alot of people don't understand. I would say some of the problems are lack of love mostly from men, women having unexitable ideas about how women should be trated in the western or the role in the family. I think many of yo all will undersatnd what i'm saying. Nothing wrong with the man helping his wive with house work, but alot of somali women think that the women in the west do some of the work in the house and the men do most of it and they also disrspect. But belive me people that is not the case/ I've been there and i've seen with alot of western famileis the woman has her own rols in the family like what is been hapyening in our homeland. BUT IT SEEMS THAT OUR WOMEN GOT IT ALL WRONG! |
| Mohamud (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
In regards to the enviroment, we somalis living whether in USA, Canada or Europe, the system made most of the somali men idle,because as long as the married couple are drawing wellfare benefits,(caydha), there will not be a family value between the couple and the misled wife by the system believes that her husband is not capable of fulfilling the resposibilities of the family anymore.It is likely that husband looses his position of the house as a respectful head of the family which encourages a divorce situation to happen in the family. |
| Mumtaas (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Salaamu allaykum brother faysal:
I am broud of you for your believs and I hope you will find your perfect match. subxana lahi there are not many people look this kind of qualities for their marriege good luck.
as it said in the reliegon ( a dunyaa mataac wagayru mataacihaa Zawaajan saalax)
Prophet Muhamed (SCW) said there are four ways to choose a wife
1)Beuity
2)wealth
3)tribe/clan
4)religion
Prophet muhamed (SCW) incouraged Muslims to choose for his/her religion.
with help of Allah Ihope you find it as soon as posible. Insha allah |
| Warsame (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
warsame
I do beliefe that the main reason which lead to a divorse, nowadays between somali families, particularly in western cuontaries are, fairstly the men could not recognaise yet that them roles as a only educater one at home is changed nowadays, the fainance status also has changed,both of male and female could not adapt whith the new society and the culture, which effecting them mentality, them feeling, them hopes,who are the examples that they should follw them. I thonk also the somali female has a inferior complex for a long time, so they have a chance today to brofe to them salfes thet they are the superiorety. those are the internal reasons, also there are external factors ehich leadin our families to explosure.
As we are all know that we came from a muslim sociaty, which last 700 years western countaries tried to have some follower inside our society, but the failed, nowadys we came to them countaries and they have a golden opportunities to achieve ehat they faile for las centuries, so the basic nucler for any society is them family. |
| ALI (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Dear brother muse
I think your trying put words in our mouths that are not true. And making comments about poor and the victims of the somalia war who have been put through traum and low self estem . I think that these people need a break , divorce statistics i have no idea where you have get that from and that u need to check your statistics babe again. Bro because there not true. I think is time u should stop putting your people down.
cuz your nothing but a joke |
| Big boy (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
lack of erotic games in the bedroom lack of good passionate slurpy sex try oral sometimes it does the trick |
| 678 | Unrecorded Date
hi y'all
can you please make your posts short and simple.
you don't need to write a lot, just come to the point. It is really boring to read those long articles. Thank you.
bye |
| Fg | Unrecorded Date
678 agreed. |
| Drwho | Unrecorded Date
Salamu Alaikum
First and foremost, May I just solicit Mr. Mussa whether I have seen his article somewhere on the net?. That is an unadulterated query.
Secondly, I ponder what my honorable friend Mussa wrote has no relevance to Somali community, for the reason that, his article was in fact written in a format that indicates it was put across to western people rather than Somali community in western countries or the community at large. However, I will try to come back with the question; I deem that the problem is from lack of understanding how to manage a "Family" and lack of compatibility " A lot of you stated that is lack of LOVE. I assure you most of you don't even know what the word means". This management and well-matched issue may come to the panorama when people are educated in relation to Islam. I am not talking about whether the couple has PhDs from Oxbridge " or those of you in North America; Stanford, Harvard, and Yale".
Somali people are Muslims, and as Muslim people we are suppose to live in a very well directed life. We have a methodology to fellow, and if we apply that methodology, I give surety that we will succeed here and hereafter.
That is what I have to say.
NB: Hello my dear "Waryaa" How are we doing Sir?.
Salamu Alaikum
Dr Who |
| Alex | Unrecorded Date
The reason the divorce rate is so high is because of 911. Guys when you merry don’t get a phone at home. I’m not saying if you don’t have a phone at home you will stay married, All I’m saying is, you will have chance of been married longer. I’m not sure that this is a solution, but it’s worth the tray. |
| Enoughintelligent | Unrecorded Date
I have the answer it is easy.The reason is we don't have patience that is all, with no patience means no progress. |
| Felicity | Unrecorded Date
Doesn't it make more sense if it was Intelligent Enough rather than Enough intelligent? hmmmmm that makes more sense to me, but don't pay attention to me I am in ESL3. |
| Whoopi | Unrecorded Date
Hello, the reason is simple. MEN=Unemployed, WOMEN=Employed. Hmm, that sounds about rite dont Ya think? Hey, I really liked that idea bout not having a telephone in da house, but then again, THIS AINT SOMALI FOOL, better rethink that theory buddy. My point, U men should get ur heads outta tha gutter,TIM HORTONS, or wherever it is U sit and talk bout Somali Politics (which isnt helping our situation much, in case y'all didnt notice) and get yourself a JOB. Peace Out! |
| hodan | Unrecorded Date
i totaly agree with warsame. the thing is that somali women are wanting for equal rights and therefor act like the women of the country that they live in. whereas the men will not accept that this is not their country and therefor things are going to be different. men thing that women should act and behave as though they are in somila. which is wrong. and women think that they should be equal in every part of they married live. which if we are honest with ourself will never happen. |
| Amiira | Thursday, June 22, 2000 - 06:11 am
HODAN I AGREE WITH YOU SIS, I MEAN MEN STILL THINK THEY ARE IN SOMALIA BUT YOU ARE NOT THEREFORE SOME OF THE RULES HAVE TO CHANGE.IN SOMALIA WE HAD EASY LIFE WHICH WE ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
AS WOMEN WE HAD TO SACRIFICE ALOT AND I THINK IT'S TIME THAT OUR MEN START HELPING US. BUT INSTEAD ALL THET SEEM TO WANNA DO IS CONROLL US AND TAKE US FOR FOOLS. WHERE IS TRUST,LOVE, COMMUNICATION, PASSION. IF WE JUST LOVE EACHOTHER AND TAKE THINGS AS THEY COME, THEN WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION. |
| sweetie | Unrecorded Date
After doing ma own observation i found the following reasons 1/ lack of faith,nno respect coz of the so called equality,lack of ability to solve our own problem instead were rely on 911.due to ecomical problem back home,lack of communication,sense of responsibility.Too much lies,dating n dont care kind of attitude last but least too much of she say,you say-(hearsay. |
