     Fadhiid | Sunday, February 18, 2001 - 06:30 pm
Hello...
I met this beautiful girl over a year ago and we ended up going out. I fell in love with her. We got to where we saw each other every day and basically did everything together. No girl had ever shown as much interest in me as she did. After we went out for 5 months, I went out of town for 2 weeks. When I got back, a guy friend of hers, who used to go out with her years ago, told me that he kissed her when I was out of town and that he was sorry.
I confronted my girlfriend about it and she told me that it was true, and that she was sorry. She said that it was wrong to even have had him over in the first place. I was hurt, and I broke up with her. After a couple of weeks I decided I over- reacted and went back to her.
Things were great after we got back together, and we communicated more than ever. We had a great relationship for about 6 more months, when one night we had a really long talk. She confessed that she had had sex with a guy (someone different from the one she kissed) about 2 months after we started going out. She said she didn’t feel emotionally close to me yet at that time and felt that I was just going to break up with her soon anyway because that’s what every other guy has done to her. She also said that she didn’t really like this other guy either.
She said that having sex with him was her way of hurting me before I had a chance to hurt her. She said that after a while when she saw I wasn't like the other guys, she felt bad about what she had done, but didn't want to lose me by telling me. She said she was telling me now because she has changed and felt she needed to be completely honest and open with me.
Despite what she said, I couldn't get over the fact that she had cheated on me twice. I broke up with her a few days later, and now we have been broken up for about a month. She calls me all the time, telling me to come back, saying she has truly changed and has integrity now. I have also noticed that she doesn't lie to her friends like she used to. I love her and I want to go back to her, but I don’t want be cheated on again. Should I trust her and go back to her, or should I move on?
PS>> I will not be surprised if I see a lot of ppl
offended by my post too...
Fadhiid – who wants to know if she has really changed |
| War bisadaha iska ilaa liya! | Sunday, February 18, 2001 - 06:48 pm
So fadhiid,
You go out of town for two weeks and the kitty cat strays. Just imagine if you were out to sea with the Navy for 6 months. How loyal would this Desdemona be under those circumstances? Judging by her track record, I’d say, maybe about as loyal as Liz Taylor would be in a men’s room.
And as usual, you, the man, are supposed to overlook her transgressions and pretend nothing happened. Many women expect men to do this, but somehow don’t seem to be able to do the same when the situation is reversed. Yes, hypocrisy is alive and well in women’s lib land!
Fadhiid, I think you made the right decision when you decided to call it quits with this traitor. I do believe that she has strong feelings for you, but she’s just not long-term-committed-relationship material. Why not? Well, she not only went to bed with another guy, while she was dating you, but she did it with a guy whom she didn’t even like. To have done that, her self -esteem has to be pretty low. And if you get emotionally involved with someone with low self-esteem, you’re in for one big train wreck down the line.
I’d like to give her credit for confessing to you, but any woman with an ounce of common sense would know that even a man with tons of self confidence would be demolished by such a revelation. Her compulsion to reveal what she did only verifies that she doesn’t know how to manage a relationship properly.
You also mentioned that she has a reputation for distorting the truth. How can you ever tell when a fibber has changed her ways? It’s tough to know for sure. I’d venture to guess that all her exes got rid of her quickly because her infidelity vibes are so strong.
The System says that in order to have a successful relationship, not only does the woman’s romantic Interest Level in you have to be extremely high, but she also has to have integrity. Now this gal passes the Interest Level test, but she gets an F on her Integrity examination.
Look Fadhiid, the mistake that a lot of men make, is that they fall for the party girl, marry the party girl, and then have to divorce the party girl. And who comes out the loser? The man of course.
Now if all you want is a party girl, you can take her back. But I can tell that you’re the kind of guy who is looking for long-term love, and you’re not going to find it with this hussy.
Remember, guys, once the kitty cat strays, it is over unless you want to sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life and wind up being the one emptying the litter box.
Well keep me posted as this situation develops.
Hope dat I have been of help.. |
| Anonymous | Sunday, February 18, 2001 - 07:08 pm
JUST MAKE SURE WHEN YOU TWO GET MARRIED THAT YOUR KIDS ARE YOUR KIDS LOL..............U KNOW WAT I MEAN LOL |
| yasmiina | Sunday, February 18, 2001 - 07:17 pm
fadhiid how can you trust a woman who had a sex before marriage unless you are like her. as a girl if the man that i'm about to marry had told me that he had a sex i would have broke with him because he broke alaah's rules, and sina is one of the biggest sins, so forget about her she is not decent girl.and certainly she would not be a good wife or mother. |
| Anonymous | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 06:27 am
Fadhiid,
Trust me on this brother...............LET HER GO.
It will hurt, you'll be in a lot pain in the next few months, but hung in there.
If she cheated twice, she might use all the excuses in the world, but the fact is SHE CHEATED TWICE.
I am talking from experience, no matter how nice,sweet,caring,respectful and loving the are, cheating is something they cannot control if the right opportunity is presented.
I know, you are thinking "but she is so nice in any other way" specially when you go out and meet other people, but trust me there a lot of other sisters who are much better.
Keep your head up bro and take the pain once for all instead of getting hurt again and again.
P.S
You will always have to look at your back if you go back. Is it something you are willing to do??? |
| fixed-heart | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 10:13 am
fadhiid,
brother man....this has happened to me 8months
ago and it was hard...as the other brother put it
DO IT and brake-up with her you will sufer
for a while (it depends how deep you were)..
but when you get over her ,,,it will be a good
feeling(single,free) and i'm sure you rather
sufer now than 10 years from now..for the rest of
your life.....i know it's hard to get over her
but remember..the long run..peace out |
| Sirrus | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 11:07 am
"CUT YOUR LOSES AND MOVE ON"
Fahid, in baseball they have 3 strikes, in real life, only one strike is enough. Now if you are playing baseball with this girl, give her another strike. If not, move on bro, I am sure she will find an idiot who will fall for her, but when he leaves for 2 days, she will call you for sex. |
| NINXOON | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 12:05 pm
FAHIID
MY QUESTION IS WHAT THE •••• YOU DOING WITH A HOE IN THE FIRST PLACE.?!...
I COULD ALREADY SEE IT BY YOUR SECOND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SHE WOULD HAVE DONE YOUR NEXT DOOR CAMBODIAN FATHER OF FIVE ...THE INDIAN CASHIER AT THE 7/11...HER JEWISH FAMILY DOCTOR...THE JAMAICAN DRUG DEALER AROUND THE CORNER...NOT TO MENTION THE MAIL MAN.. AND YOUR CAT BILLY......
THEREFORE I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU RUN LIKE RUN AWAY SLAVE FROM PLANTATION AND MAKE SURE WHILE DOING THAT NOT TO LOOK BACK EVEN ONCE...
I'M OUT.... |
| xx | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 01:27 pm
ninxoon
did you copy and pasted cuz it seems that all you know how to say is bitch this hoe that
man grow up is all i can think of for your sorry ass
to fadhiid
the girl confessed she told you she have changed her attitude and i can see she loves you and feels comfortable telling you everything so my suggestion is to forgive her and give her one more chance
allah forgives so why can't you do the same
i think if she didn't love you she wouldn't have tried to come clean with you and tell you whatever happened in the past
so to me the fact that she was being honest with you means allot |
| lonelyheart | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 01:31 pm
my dear fahiid,i am sorry i know how u must feel,the hurt,betrayel and most all wondering why?
words can say how sorry i am truly.
i know how u feel i have been there,even though the relationship is over know i still wonder if i can trust again or give my heart completely to someone.
if u decide to leave it will take time but i have to tell u no one deserves to be cheated on.
you come here looking for advise,well guess what no one can give it to u.
when u have to decide whether to leave or stay,i am sorry to tell u this but ur heart already left.but your body and soul are still there
if u loved her or were not scared of getting hurt then u would stay.u wouldnt ask anyone for advise instead your heart would tell what to do.
i know its hard to let go of a long ongoing relationship but dear this relationship was over b4 it started.
if a relationsgip starts with lies and cheating it will always be the same.
even if u decide to stay u will always wonder if she will do it again or u might even think what the hell she did it i might as well do it.
in otherwords forget trust u will even loose cummunication,everytime u guys agrue the subject of her cheating will come up.
and i hate to say it but if its easy for her to sleep with someone that she has no feelings for,then it will always be easy.
honestly u sound like me 1 and half years ago,i was in a relationship for almost 2 and half years.the first year it was perfect then i got sick and he started cheating.
till this day i wonder how he did it.we are together everyday,he came to my job hangin and i went to his i mean we are one.i just cant imagine where he got the time to do it.again ppl are unimaginable.
i was so ashamed to share it with my family and friends.anyway he always said he chenged and it wont happen again.
been the forgiving person i am i belived him,till one day i relised i was unhappy and i didnt trust.while i am was in the relationship i relised i wasnt inlove with him.
but his cheating was the internet,not sleeping arround.that part he was ok i must admit but i bet if he had the chance though he would.
anyway brother,listen just follow your heart but i can promise u this,it wont go further even if u go back.you will have horrible thoughts every time she is not with you.
set ur prospects into what u want from a relationship,i know its hard when u love someone but dear when u have to let go u must then
in the end u will only hurt yourself more,there is someone out there for u who will give u all the love and respect u deserve.i dont think she can.
there is this say "one a cheater always a cheater".they dont change.
listen to ur hurt and mind,know where is good for u.noone knows ur relationship with her,and most of we dont know her.we cant give u the perfect advise so just sit weigh things and most of all listen to ur heart.
i wish u all the best and have faith dear.
love always
lonelyheart |
| NINXOON | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 01:39 pm
XX
ANOTHER HOE SEEKING HER 15 SECONDS OF FAME...TIK TAK TIK TAK TIK TAK....OOPS I GUESS YOUR TIME IS UP TRICK.......I SEE I TOUCHED ON A SENSITIVE NURVES HUUH...YOU FEELING GUILTY XX ...INSTEAD OF ATTACKING ME GO TO THE MOSQUE AND ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS ........
NINXOON |
| ESL TEACHER | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 01:41 pm
MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
I HAVE TO ADMIT YOUR CREATIVE WRITINGS ARE GETTING MUCH BETTER - FEWER SPELLING AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. BUT THIS STORY LINE IS MISSING A SURPRISE ENDING, WORK ON THAT, AND GET BACK TO ME...FOR NOW I GIVE YOU AN A- FOR WRITING AND A C+ FOR CREATIVITY.
DAMN, PEOPLE ARE SO GULLIBLE! |
| Monifa | Monday, February 19, 2001 - 07:03 pm
Fadhiid the girl made mistake..she's sorry..forgive her dude. Maybe she's young and don't know whole lot, maybe she has learned her lesson...or maybe she's scared of committment and you thought her how to love. Yo we're all humans..Allah forgives for the most extreme sins so why can't you. If you love her you should give her 3 change. But if you made up you mind to dumb her..more power to yo, keep in mind tho if you were in her shoes you 2 would need forgiveness.
p.s. what made you think a chick that's sleeping with you haven't been around the block. If you love somebody it don't matter what their sexual history is....as long as you don't have sex b4 marriage. |
| mad mula | Tuesday, February 20, 2001 - 04:47 am
to fadhiid
Y r u taking advice from these people must of them don't know how it feels 2 b in love so just trust your own deision |
| DUMP HER | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 03:56 pm
YASMIINA...SIS EVERY NIGGA YOU SEE THAT IS SOMALIAN HAS HAD SEX AT LEAST 30 TIMES.....IF YOU ARE NOT GONNA MARRY A GUY THAT HAS HAD SEX B4 THEN I GUESS YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED AT ALL...HOW STUPID CAN ONE BE?
OH AND FADHIID...TO ME I DON'T THINK THE GIRL CARES THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU IF SHE DID ALL THAT...YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH ME. BUT THINK ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY.....IF SHE DID ALL THE NOW, IMAGINE THE FUTURE? DO YOU WANT TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE GONNA CHEAT ON YOU FOREVER?
IT'S YOUR DECISION BUT I HOPE IT'S A GOOD ONE..
PEACE OUT..... |
| Anonymous | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 04:11 pm
I don't thing you are originally from Somalia?? Because if you are I am missing something. Get a grip and be a man |
| manaxe | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 04:20 pm
maba la siweediiyaa,,shaki maxaa ku galinaa marka hore,,meel oo shaki aa ka rajeeneesid maxaaa ku geehaa?
anni yaaqee was ka socolee, cunug lee maahoo, kumanaan oo aabo iyo hooyo u baahan soo gado, hindiya tag too oo dhagool ah oo idholaaweey ah soo gado,,indho laaweey oo camees ah maahin yaa,, too oo aan waxba qori karin waxna aqrin karin oo maryaha tubeey tub ku yihiin soo xareeso,,addi aa faa iidada arkaayo, dhagool ma taqaana oo dgagool ah waaye,, dhagaha qam qam,,taas aa beelo ah noo ,,hadii o wax aa fahmeesid,,habeen habeenkii oo too exerienced aa u baahantahayna $200 diyaarso motelka butaano oo si waalan wax u waseeeso soo xareeso,,
miskiin aa tahay aboo waa kaaaa naxsnahay,,daacadnimadda tuur yaaqee,,act on ,,,now,,..
aduunkoo dhan hoe lee waaye iyo gay,,kii reebtaa? |
| Rahma | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 06:03 pm
It depends how much you love her, this is one of those decisions you have to make on your own. I believe if you love somebody enough you can forgive them for everything, everything almost, think about you two are not married, it would be terrible thing if you were married right. Who's to say a girl who had sex before marriage wouldn't make a good wife, and a girl who's virgin will make a good wife, that's total ignorance, only God knows who's going to be good and who isn't. So people keep the ignorance to yourselves and don't confuse the poor guy. Go with your heart, it knows what's the best for you. Just remember it's hard to find someone you love and who loves you back. |
| ninxoon | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 06:20 pm
rahma
are you crying over spilled milk..what I mean is are you virgin? ....are? if not ..when did you lose it ? and to whom.......
for me at any giving day I'll pick a virgin girl .... |
| taylor | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 02:27 pm
i cant speak english/cuz i smoke my esl teachers/it aint my faul/she said so gullible/words dat i dont understand/makes me mad man/its strange how greedy this hoes r/not considering what da topics r/please read dat shitt again/u r on da wrong lane/as for the topic sentence/i'll kill my wife first/then take my life last........... |
| Rahma | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 07:41 am
Ninxun, here you go again, attacking me for me reason. |
| Rahma | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 07:44 am
Ninxun, here you go again, attacking me for no reason. |
| Anonymous | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 07:48 am
RAHMA,
THAT WASN'T ATTACK
IT WAS 3 QUESTIONS...AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO ANSWER OR PASS...SIMPLE  |
| ninxoon | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 08:01 am
fahiid
listen punk if you take that bitch back you gonna crate more problems in our community. cause other aspiring hoe out there or as I call them hoes in progress are going to feel more comfortable going deep in the adon water and materializing their sexual expeditions cause at the end of the journey their you fahiid with your permeative lile mind talking her with an open arms.....
rahma
I didn't attack I simply stated a question..cause I notice when tore a part lile hoe comes here talking about her possibility with a Somali fool you are first in line to welcome her and then proceeding to state that there is nothing wrong with (born again virgins)
so here it goes as far as I'm concern born again virgins are as fuc*ed up as everyday hoe..plain and simple...
You didn't answer my Q though?! |
| Rahma | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 08:42 am
Ninxoon, you don't sound like the real Ninxoon, but I could be wrong, anyway here's the answer to your question. I am not virgin and I don't want to be.
Don't make big deal out of something that's not, what you should be choosing your partner should be her personality because that's what's gonna stay with her, but the virginity will only last for 10 minutes or less, so what are you going to do after that. Are you going to leave her because she's not virgin anymore? Think about it. don't wish for virgin, but wish for someone you can get along with. |
| Guilty | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 09:22 am
Yes drop her aight
Find someone else |
| NINXOON | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 09:28 am
RAHMA
I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING FIRST OF ALL I DON'T GO AROUND TAKEN YOUNG GIRLS VIRGINITY I HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR MY SOMALI QUEEN THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE THE HER MOST PRECIOUS BELONGS AND SIMPLY WALK OUT OF THE DOOR..I CAN'T DO THAT PERIOD. GOD FORBID IF THAT HAPPENS YOU REST ASSURE THAT I WILL MARY THAT GIRL....SECONDLY ALLAH(SWT)CREATED WOMEN WITH VIRGINITY FOR A REASON
OTHER WISE GIRLS WOULD HAVE OPENED LIKE 7/11 THE MINUTE THEY WERE BORN...CAN YOU ELABORATE ON HOW DID YOU LOOSE YOUR VIRGINITY?
FOR ME WHEN I'M READY TO MARRY OF COURSE I WANT SOMEONE THAT I COULD GET ALONG WITH BUT ALSO SOMEONE THAT IS PURE....... |
| Abdi | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 09:54 am
Ninxoon Your always talking about virginity... I just have one question for you Are you a virgin yourself? In the quran Allah(swt) said a non virgin man should marry an unclean woman meaning you should be with someone of your own kind.
Secondly just because a sister is not a virgin doesn't mean she's bad...she might have been misled and confused at the time. |
| ANGRY_NIGGER | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 10:08 am
THERE ARE NO VIGINS ON EARTH ANY MORE... THOSE THAT HAVE NOT LOST THEIR VIRGINITY TO MEN HAVE LOST IT TO THEIR FUCKING FINGERS WHILE DREAMING ABOUT BRAD PIT.......BITCHES ALL OVER THE PLACE ARE PRETENDING THERE IS SUCH THING AS VIRGINS...
ANSWER ME... HAVE YOU EVER BECOME WET WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE???
HAVE YOU EVER FINGERED YOURSELF WHILE WATCHING MAZE VIDEOS?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ORGASM WHILE THINKING OF A MAN.......?
WELL IF YOU SCORE 100% YOU AIN'T A VIRGIN IN MY BOOK..... SO •••• OFF...
IF YOU SCORED ANYMORE THEN 0.01% YOU ARE A HOE SO •••• YOU AND LET ME HAVE YOU ADDRESS SO I CAN COME OVER AND COME ON YOUR FACE......... |
| ESKIMOS_BOY | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 10:39 am
Fadhiid:
You've got a very honest lady! what if you break up with her and you end up with some1 who fucks around but never talks to you honestly.
Your woman is very honest and deserves your heart. It is very hard to get an honest person nowadays and you are thinking of losing one of the few on this planet.
An advice from some1 who was there/done that. |
| yusuf | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 09:12 pm
why all these. The pussy can keep you all your life i bet it can accomodate you and me and all the rest so why make big deal dabaal. Just iska ur urso sometimes anigu waaanba barkadaa really walaahi i just sleep under her tights so that i can feel its warmth, so no big deal. I even ask her to tell me whether she feels better with me or she even needs some hard sucker but she tells me that all her past, lol, i am the best which really gives me the impression that i am really doing something good. but then if she really slips and sees another dude for a short period, i wont mind walaahi cause that is fine with me. |
| Anonymous | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 01:24 am
my opinions? i think NINXOON is virgin.Damn it must be miserable to be 35 and virgin.Dont you get tired of jerking off?lol |
