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IS A SINGLE-MOTHER BE TREAT THE SAME AS A VIRGIN GIRL? OR SHE IS DIFFERENT? HELP ME PPL!!!!!!!!!!!!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): General Discusions: Archive (Before Mar. 13, 2001): IS A SINGLE-MOTHER BE TREAT THE SAME AS A VIRGIN GIRL? OR SHE IS DIFFERENT? HELP ME PPL!!!!!!!!!!!!
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SINGLECELL

Thursday, February 22, 2001 - 08:55 pm
SEE I RECENTLY MET WITH THIS SINGLE-MOTHER AND SHE CRAZY ABOUT ME BUT THE PROBLEM IS I NEVER EXPRIENCED A SINGLE-MOTHER AS I EXPERIENCED REGULAR GIRLZ BEFORE.SHE INVITED ME A DINNER AT HER HOME BUT SHE HAVE THIS TWO KIDS PLUZ SOME MORE SHE LIVES WITH MY AUNT!!!, ALTHOUGH SHE IS NOT MY RELATIVE.THAT MAKES ME NERVOUSE,AND I AFRAID I WILL FEEL DISCOMFORT ABOUT BEING AROUND HER AND TALKIN TO HER?
WILL I SURRENDER, AND TELL HER IAM NOT COOL WITH THIS?
OR WILL I BE A MAN AND FACE THE SITUATION, THE SAME WAY I USE TO FACE SINGLE GIRLZ?
GIVE ME YOUR TIPS, I CAN BE VERY HELPFUL, AND TELL ME IF U EXPERIENCED SINGLE MOTHER BEFORE.
THANKS GUYS, AT LEAST SOME PPL TO CONSULT WITH.

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Soomaal

Thursday, February 22, 2001 - 10:30 pm
WELL,IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR TASTE,IF YOU'RE INTO USED CARS LOL GO FOR IT .

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MAD MAC

Thursday, February 22, 2001 - 10:52 pm
Soomal is clearly a man who has not had a lot of experienced with women. Take it from the local lousy kufaar here on the net, a woman with experience is a whole lot better than a woman without. What you need to do is ask yourself the following:


a. Do I like this woman?
b. Can I deal with raising another mans kid and accept that he's going to come around once in a while to visit them?
c. Is she a good woman? Do we have similar goals? Do we have compatible values?

Once you have evaluated those things then you can make a reasoned decision. There are lots of good woman out there who are single mothers. Maybe they married bad men, or maybe the relationship just didn't work out (everyone is not always compatible even though both parties might be decent people). Try to make a reasoned decision and follow your heart. Don't let closed minded people influence you.

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kamal

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 02:58 am
Big responsibility bro!

You have to keep in mind it us who create these single mothers in the first place. The first thing that would come to my mind is what made him leave. Bro I seen Somali sisters with losers all over the UK. We can say it was their fault for making a bad choice or they were responsible for their singular life. Who is to know?

Don’t ever! Ever ever. Just get yourself involved for the sake of satisfying your lust man. Damage done to her already, unless you know you want her and are willing to handle the package deal…. Don’t…don’t touch her man.…. Leave her be and let her know where you stand.

It is easy for the father to move right on huh! Hey our best example nabi Mohamed[pbuh] married mostly divorcees so it can’t be that wrong. Unless you are worried about the “Somali mentality” and how they will talk about you.

As Mad Mac said. She knows the value of a man, she seen the harshness of being a single parent. She would appreciate your every effort and see to your every need. Trust me I know a few single mothers and they stand on their heads to please guys who give them a chance!

Make sure you are the right one for her.???

Bonus you won’t be asked for a wedding, so you can have more money to spend on her right. As for raising another mans kids, foresee 10years from now they will be calling you dad and him father. Big difference man. There surely will be reward for you in the hereafter…. Sura Maun…

Salamu calaykum

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SADIYA

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 04:45 am
SINGLE CELL PLZ WALALO U DONT MAKE ANY SENSE FIRST OF ALL SORT OUT YOUR BROKEN ENGLISH, THEN I WILL HLP U WHAT EVER THE PROBLEM IS.

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singlecell

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 05:31 am
guys! girls! thank u for ur tips,
but iam not askin wether i will live with her or not.what iam asking is how will i go a long with her?
like, will I talk about love and kiss her around and drive her to the movies?
or will i treat her like a mother,and visit her at her home, talk about her problems and her kids, and when she say i wanna marry u? tell her I have a girl friend!

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Single Father

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 06:31 am
Personally, I know a couple of Single mothers. They are the sweetest, most caring and understanding women in the world. Her kids don't bother me. They know how to appreciate and treat a brother good. The Non-Single mothers could learn a lot from a Single mother.

Single Father.

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Honesita

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 09:05 am
SingleCell......r u alright....u treat all women the same brotha.......but u gotta keep in mind....this lady is a mother and she aint just looking for a 'booty call' if ya know what i mean........go on with this relationship if u r serious like a heart attack.....if not.....then dont play with the lady's mind......she's got enough to worry about..!! U sound like u just want some1 to pass time with.....in that case look for single girlz that want the same thing.....not a single mother who is looking for a father figure for her kids......have some mercy dear..!!

My brotha got married to a single mother and he is more than just happy.........he luvs it when her daughter calls him aabo.....it takes a MAN to take such a responsibilty..!!

adios

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FUNNYMAN

Friday, February 23, 2001 - 10:10 am
SINGLE-CELL IT DOESN'T TAKE A SINGLE-THING 2 TALK TO SINGLE-MOTHER. U JUST HAVE 2 SAY A SINGLE-WORD(I LOVE U) AND U WILL MINGLE-TOGHER.
ITS SO SIMPLE-THING, I WISH U A SINGLE-DAY WITH YOUR SINGLE-MOTHER.AND NOW I HAVE 2 SPLIT SO SINGLE-BYE 2 U, FROM A SINGLE-DUDE.

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sheikh abdi sheelaweyne

Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 04:04 pm
honesita you crack me up baby. kamal bro you are good too. i mean if the lady is good , there is nothing wrong with that , just a little more responsibility if things develop. so go ahead with it if you have feelings for the lady, otherwise don't waste her time, just chase the single girls. so long bro. peace and love

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kamal

Monday, February 26, 2001 - 04:00 am
S/calaykum

Singlecell I am also as bemused as SADIYA. What exactly are you asking us? Is it to give you counsel on whether or not you should get involved with her? Or are you asking us whether it is a good idea to sleep with her and then tell her that you have a girl friend afterwards???

I can’t make out your statement bro.

We have all made the situation unambiguous to you but I can’t understand what else you might be insinuating here. If you are serious and this is real then please re-read all the postings that have been addressed to you as a result of you question.

Take a moment to think bro, we are all living on borrowed time and there is always the chance that we might leave earlier then expected and hence leave behind a single mother, would you not pray that you wife and children meet with someone that would give them respect and understanding? Think with your brain is all I can say to you for I am not very sure what the problem is. The solution is a simple and clear one; please do the right thing ok!

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SINGLEMUM

Monday, February 26, 2001 - 05:49 am
OK I AGREE WITH KAMAL, HEY SINGLE CELL, I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK THERE IS SUCH A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SINGLE PARENT GIRLS IN OTHER GIRLS, APART FROM THE OBVIOUS. IT WOULD BE STUPID TO THINK THAT YOU WILL BE WITH YOUR PARTNER FOR ALL TIME AND THINGS GO WRONG.

MY ADVICE TO YOU IS, IF YOU LIKE THIS WOMAN TRUELY AND HONESTLY, WITH NO OTHER AGENDER ON YOU MIND THEN YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT. WHAT MAKES ME TOTALLY MAD IS THAT SOME MEN THING JUST CAUSE YOUR A SINGLE MUM YOU WOULD SLEEP WITH ANYTHING WITH A DICK. WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. SLEEPING WITH A MAN WHILE YOU ARE UNMARRIED CARRIES THE SAME SIN BRO, WHETHER YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED OR NOT!! SO GET YOUR ACT STRIGHT. WE AREN'T CHEAP SLUTS. AND ITS TYPICAL FOR SOMALI CULTURE TO LAY THE BLAME ON WOMEN. AND BING REALISTIC TOO, NO WOMAN EXPECTS YOU TO BE THE FATHER OF HER KIDS JUST LIKE THAT, IT ISNT EASY TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE'S KID AS YOUR OWN, BUT WE EXPECT YOU TO TRY.


AND FINALLY ABOUT DATING, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE, TAKE HER TO THE MOVEIS, RESTURANT OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO DO. COMING TO VISIST AT THE HOUSE IS SOOOOOOOOOO UNROMANTIC. A WOMAN IS A WOMAN, JUST CAUSE SHE'S BEEN MARRIED DEOSN'T MAKE HER A SECOND CLASS WOMAN.

I MADE MY POINT, GOOD LUCK

AND ONE MORE THING, WE DO NOT STAND ON OUR HEADS TO PLZ MEN!!!!!!!! AND KIDS ARE NOT A 'PACKAGE', IF THATS YOUR VIEW THEN DONT BOTHER!!

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kamal

Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 01:07 am
Singlemum don't misunderstand my statement. I said the single mums I know would real go beyond what is expected of them to attain a partner. There is no way I could speak for or make a generalization of all single mums.

From my perspective though it is the females that make it harder for them then the men. It is more likely that the guy's mother and sisters would be against his involvement with a single mum. Certainly his friends would also have some influence in his decision.

Please don't feel like you have to be on the defense with me. I bare you no malice. You are obviously sensitive towards this issue. I hope you still believe that there are people who have an unbiased view.

I must agree with you, yes a woman is a woman whether she is a divorcee or a single and living at her mothers home. But surely a young girl living at her mother's home receiving the royal treatment as compared to a single mother who already has her own home and is truly aware of the reality of family life have clear distinctions between them. You are right haraam is haraam and I am glad you made that point, I doubt the person we are advising cares either way he seems to be more concerned about his own interests.

All I can say may Allah bless you a prince to replace what you have lost Singlemum.

S/calaykum

P.s "package" was not meant literally I hope you understand.

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SINGLEMUM

Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 04:22 am
karmel, i understand what you are saying bro, but i m not defencive , did i come across like that?and really not sensitive, single parenting is a fact of life. i dont seek to replace anyone but thank you for the sweet words.

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kamal

Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 07:02 am
:)

Thank you for the compliment. I do have a caramel complexion so I don't mind being called karmel even though it is a girl's name. Beware though I’ll be like a leopard in sheep’s clothing with that name. I would probably pick all the females up one by one under cover.

You are funny I must give you that. I don't taste anything like caramel however just plain human flesh.

peace

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