     Anonymous | Tuesday, February 27, 2001 - 07:40 pm
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
You want to meet someone new and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
You get onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face.
You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.
You join "Si habla Espanol" (the Spanish chat room) "just to work on my Spanish."
You type "drinking on IRC is better than drinking alone."
You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away. For just a little while.
You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
You no longer type with proper punctuation; Capitalization - or complete sentences... like the ones that run On and On and you never know when they are going to End or not but you don't really care anyway because you're online and nobody uses that stuff anyway
You have met more than 100 AOL subscribers. In person.
You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
Someone at the office says, "What did you say?" and you reply, "Scroll up!"
You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep.
You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are online again.
You know more about your online friends daily routines than you do your own spouse's.
You find yourself lying to others about your time online, and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook. Or that the dog ate it.
You have an identity crisis if someone else is using a screen name similar to yours.
You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of being online all night.
You change screen names so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are.
You're broke, your modem burns out, and then you go out on the streets to sell your belongings so you can get a new one.
You marry your cyber boy/girlfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other from across the room.
Your dog leaves you.
You have to ask what time it is.
You have to ask what day it is.
You have written a letter like this: "dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well i gotta go bbl!
You look at an annoying person offline and wish you had your ignore button handy.
You bring a bag lunch to the computer.
Your significant other kisses your neck while you are chatting and you think "Uh oh... a cyber sex perv's after me!"
You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.
You use online lingo in real life (applies only to those who still have a real life).
You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
Your notify list has over 100 people on it.
You have blocked more than 100 people from putting you on their buddy lists.
Your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken."
You wake up in the morning and get online before you have your first cup of coffee.
You have your computer set up so that it goes online at startup.
You don't know where the time has gone.
You end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in longhand.
You get up at 2:00 am to go the bathroom but go turn on your computer "to check for mail."
You spell things out loud instead of actually saying the word.
You don't even notice typos anymore. And you work as a proofreader.
Twenty-three people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses*** when you enter a room.
You get mad when twenty-three people don't greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses*** when you enter a room.
You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.
Your voice mail message is "BRB, leave your screen name and I will TTYL." And people do.
You type faster than you think.
You got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at the office.
You want your computer to be buried with you when you die... or vice versa.
You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.
You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie, including the Best Boy, Dolly Grip and Production Accountant.
People say, "If it weren't for the super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have classified as a vegetable long ago."
You dream in text.
Being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
There is absolutely no interesting chat in the room and you are really bored - yet you don't want to leave in case you miss something.
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 WPM.
You think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies.
You are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL."
You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail.
You go into withdrawals during dinner. (Note: This does not apply to single people, who take their meals at the keyboard).
You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room.
You stop speaking in full sentences.
You have gone into an unstaffed Tech Support room and ended up giving advice to other addicts.
You have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws Of Life.
The Jaws Of Life don't do the trick.
Your last sexual experience was really just a textual experience.
While cooking dinner, you "just wanted to check your mail," and while you were there you "just wanted to see who was on." The resulting fire caused $12,000 in damage.
You meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their screen names.
Tech Support calls you for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.
You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. |
