     A Yare. (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
How can we persuade our wives that the love we have for them is entirely different from the nature of love we have for our mothers,-- Open letter to Somali girls Intellectuals.
There is centuries old tense relationship between
one,s mother and one,s wife. This is not entirely
new to our Somali Culture and Traditions, but
Alas!! girls of the 90,s have infact complicated
this domestic issue.
The relationship between adaughter-in-law and
mother-in-law is not only tense one but may
sometimes lead to adissolution of marriage!!.
It,s depressing to divorce your beloved wife for
stupidity, but it,s adisaster to desert your
mother for the sake of your wife!! Isn,t It??!
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"-
I want to know "Is it the aim of a women to snatch
the husband entirely from his mother after
marriage??!
Wives need practical as well as parental help from
our mothers , but soon after honeymoon is over-
it,s known that wives begin to settle score with
mothers and start complaining!!. Sure wives should
be given attention I admit, but it doesn,t mean-
that the mother should ignored completely!! Is it?
Here note we are really worried about this,(I,m
not married yet!. The wives only mean would-be-
wives;yeah everygirl will be awife,so we,veto sort
out this issue right now!!! get it?)
The very, very, very, very and very important
questions I,ve for the would-be-wives and other
intellectuals are:-
1:- How can we persuade you(would-be-wives) that
the love we have for you is entirely differe-
nt than the nature of love we have for our
mothers;
2:- If you (w-b-w) expect your husband to respect
your family,then, you should respect every
thing associated with him. Isn,t it??
3:- Why most of the girls (w-b-w) constantly
demand aseparate house where they can live
"independently" albeit they need the help of
our mothers!!!???
4:- If the girls (w-b-w) love us truly then, why
it is possible they don,t love the woman who
gave birth to us??!
5:- What about this; " Today,s daughter-in-law
is tomorrow,s mother-in-law" and that you
will be treated the same way you did to your
mother-in-law, ----- you know that?!
NB. Your suggestion is sought.Pls debate and
make asuggestion that may be helpful for
the future of many troubled by this!. |
| Xass (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
To. A. Yare
Af-soomaali, mahadsanid. |
| SUHUUR (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
Hello Yare
I understood all the other points, but why would you want your mom and wife to be and live in the same house pry tell? THEY DONT HAVE TO LIVE IN EACH OTHERS POCKETS! Some space is needed. Besides the mom is still married, dont you forget, therefore she should be living with her husband. If you say i want my paternal family and your own family living in the same house, then you have another thing coming, coz itz two separate families period.
You see, "living" in the same home might be one of the biggest reasons why the mom and the little wife dont get along. Coz ppl get tired of each other pretty fast. And besides the Mom needs rest! She raised you and god knows how many other kids. So itz her time to enjoy the rest of her days. If she comes and lives with you, she will be doing all the routine work that she went through with you and your siblings all over again. If they live separately,then the mom will do the occasional baby sitting and stuff, but i bet if she is in the same house she will be doing more than that.
Thatz my opinion anyways, Good-day. |
| Bigboy (Public user) | Unrecorded Date
moms will always hate their sons wife its a fact you can't fight it you can't stop it the only thing you can do is when they start fighting chill go outside relax with a bottle of beer and some marijuana it works- i know because thats what i do
or simply move out with your wife you are big boy like me now boy!! duh! |
| SmOothiE | Unrecorded Date
To BigBoy.....Brotha U are a lost soul and i feel so damn sorry for U "Relax with a bottle of beer"...is dat something to be bost about????......With brotherz like U now, i really fear da Future...
SmOoTh.. |
| Hibo Elmi | Unrecorded Date
Yare ur topic is quite interesting infact it attracted me while i was surfing the forums. I am going to make my arguement short n easy for all of us. I believe every wise man knows how to deal with his wife n his mother. There is somali proverb, 'carab iyo ilko ayaga isugu dhaw hadan wey is qaniinaan'.. so this means any two ppl that might in the same home will definitely fight. How many times did u disagree with ur mother. U don't desert her or u don't illtreat her b/c she is ur mother, but if she was ur step mom, I am positive u would have treated her differently. The same is the case with mother in laws n wives. The mother feels that she has to share her son's love for her with his wife, n the same goes for the wife. So a wise man bro will fidn a way to convince his mother as well as his wife that the love he has for them will never change. N about living inthe same house. If u can't provide ur family a home by itself, why take the responsibility in the first.
About loving ur mom just because she loves u doesn't mean that she would tolerate her when she is someone that lives in the same house as she does. Bro its not logic. Think back n analyse ur statements before u actually present them to the somali public.
salaamu caleykum. |
| Shatra | Unrecorded Date
I think it is up to the man. Here is why I say that. If the man show the woman/wife that his mother is an important part of his life and that he respects her, the wife would too. If he shows that he is "weak" and bent in making his wife's wishes his command, then he will have problems. A wife should respect her husband and her husband,should repect her. if that is the foundation, she will never disrespect her mother-in-law.
But then again, I may be very old fashioned! Good luck Yare with your future wife. |
| iman | Unrecorded Date
i for one believe that a mother is always number 1. i would not be willing to put my mother second place for no man and believe that i have no right to ask hime to do it either. only advice i can offer is let your women know how important your mother is before you get married that way she either accepte it or goes and finds her self anther man. although i think living with your mother in law is just asking for trouble!! |
| Nobody | Unrecorded Date
Yare, I get your point all you want is your wife and mother to share the same house. Well, go for it,it is your decision.But guess what, I am lucky not to be your future wife . |
| Saeed | Unrecorded Date
Hello all,
First, I would like to appreciate for the wise topic Yare brought to this forums, which sometimes I wonder, which direction it is heading. Coming back to the issue, it is unfortunate to see a mother and daughter fighting over things and this issue is same as mother and daughter. In our beautiful religion, the prophet (SCWS) commanded us to left everything for your parents except your diin, even your wife and belongings. Where do we as men got the idea of tolerating such behavior to be dealt with our mothers or mother-in-laws? To the idea of having your mother to live with you, it is our culture, which we had centuries. It is good to have your mother live with you in religion and morally. Are we abandoning our mothers, because we are in western world, where parents are being dumped to nursery homes? Wake up people, and get respect for taking care of your family. This is my advice to the sisters: please do whatever you could do to prevent the evil deed to come to your heart and homes. Be respectful to your husbands and in-laws and to the people as completely. In addition, to the men, it is obligatory to be nice and respectful to your wives and their families, and respect their views and voices. Nevertheless, you must have guts to avoid any inappropriate actions, weather it is this one or any others, since you are the master of the family, according to our religion. I guess if you are not obeying the religion, just disregard this message.
Regards,
Saeed |
| noney | Unrecorded Date
To Saeed
Most of as like to live their parent 4 ever.
But the problem is they can't understand each other, ofcourse they respect each other as much as they can,but the must of mothrs in-law they can't treat like their duaghter. or maybe there is some reason like if your mother with you also she\he want too So think about befor you talk guys,
just think what will happen two of mother live togther. |
