     Idil | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 06:36 am
I don't know what to do, I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months and everything was going great, I mean I never even thought there was a guy like him, well as the story goes he cheated on me , I asked him about what I heard hoping he would deny it but he only said that he had no feelings for the other girl. I was hurt and angry and decided that I was going to brake up with him. He told me that if I did he would tell my brother about us , you have to understand that would mean the end of my life , I end up trying to hide from him everyday , the thing is this guy is a great guy I just don't feel the same way about him anymore, is that really fair , for those of you that come from extreme families as I do might relate , Iam stuck and don't feel that I have many chocies.
Any advice!!! |
| Anonymous | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 06:48 am
Idil
There is always one remedy to do in this special circumstances.
Do you go to college?If yes,there may be some african american you know vaguely at the scholl, right? Just walk with him and make sure your boyfriend see's you with him.
Then when you see your boyfriend again,just say that the african american was your boyfriend.Sis he will never speak to you again.It always works. |
| Bashir | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 06:53 am
Idil, tell him to hit the road. If he is trying to blackmail you into staying with him, he is up to no good. Today, its blackmail and cheating, what about next time. This guy is a potential wifebeater. He has issues so cut it off. By the way, you are old enough have relationships. Somali parents know that at this age, you will date someone but the rule is "If I don't see him, I don't care."
If he tries anymore funny biz, talk to your brother and explain it to him. I am sure he can have a chit chat with your ex.
Bashir. |
| 911hello! | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:06 am
Go to the nearest police station and get a restraining order. If any man including your brother harrasess you; GET a restraining order (these harrassers won't be jailed for first offence, they will just receive a warning to leave you alone, and not to harrass, nor to give you verbal abuse, emotional abuse or mental abuse). Somali men are the biggest cowards, one verbal warning from the Police is enough to straighten them!
Idil, don't accept bullshit from anyone. You have no excuse to be afraid of any-one. Girl, you don't live in the jungle anymore. Pick up the phone and get help. |
| Guilty | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:16 am
Idil run for your life sista
Can somebody call 911 please lol
run run run !!!lol |
| Anonymous | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:43 am
WELL IDIL U SHOULD HAVE NOT BEEN DATING IN THE FIRST PLACE...AND NOW SINCE U HAVE DEAL WITH IT HOE.. |
| Edil | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:49 am
Idil sis
I would advise you to let your family know about this if it gets more serious and he wont leave you alone....He is probably acting like this knowing that you can't tell your family...Or get a restraining order against him..its all very simple... |
| Honesita | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:53 am
Idil........sis my brotha found out couple of months ago about a guy i was dating....my mom knew about it but not my brothers....they r verrrry religious......so he came home mad, yellin', screamin' and everything.......he took me to my room and asked me about it.....i was shocked.....how did he find out....what is he about to do.....what am i gonna say...i was speechless for a minute....then i was like 'aboowe macanoow adi maa iguursanaaya'..... he just smiled and said 'True'.....he just gave me advice and thats it....
This idiot that is tryin' to black mail u is up to no good walaahi....just like Bashir said up there.....if he is cheatin' and blackmailin' u today....what do u expect next....beatin' u and abusin' u right............
So sis get out of this relationship as soon as possible.............dont return his calls...do not go out with him......show him that u dont care about him..........haduu dhiig leeyahay he'll leave u alone........which i doubt so just spell it out for him.......I DONT WANT YOU..!! I AM NOT GONNA BE WITH YOU...!!
And please dont listen to what some pple said up there about callin' 911.......that is just childish.......u dont do that to a somali brotha...!!
Wish u best luck hun....
adios |
| Basra | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 07:56 am
Why is dating not Haraam in ya eyes people?I think thats the root of the problem.If you had respectable husband suitor,this would have been out of the question.As spokewoman for women abuse,i am suggesting sis idil to file harrasment. |
| TheOne | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 10:15 am
Maybe cuz u cant spell 'break'! |
| lolo | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 10:43 am
I follow a simple rule in "dating." I do not have a boyfriend, I do not date:I have suitors, I go out on soires, I go for walks, I go to dinners, but do not call it dating. In this way, you get the best of everything without all the troubles. I had been in a situation much like yours a few years ago, except the man had been looking for sex(w/o marriage).I talked, I cried, I yelled...he didn't listen. I did everything I could but no one would listen. My parents would have non of it. I had no brothers to help me, So I did what I had to do. I took him to the mosque during eid, we prayed, then we went around talking with all family&friends-every somali was there. Making sure three witness (my cousins) were near me, I turned around, faced him, and screamed at the top of my lungs. "allah, he touched me, he touched me!!" Then bursting into tears I ran out screaming"istaakhfurallah!!" Everybody somali in my city stared @ him. Just on my time my three witness into ran after me, screaming "gabadi gabadi gabadi. Waa nin waalan!!" To say the least, I never saw him again-he moved to the netherlands. |
| Idil | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 02:43 pm
Thanks for all your help.
I am afraid that none of your suggestions can save me from this guy-including the police.
i am afraid that he may become violent.I don't think that seeing me with another person will help-he'll probably kill the poor guy.
My brother on the other hand is toooooo strict to reason with.
And where do you get off calling me a hoe? Please ok-love doesn't come after marriage. You should find love before you make a life long committment.Why do you think that there are sooo many single mothers(Somalis)?
I wuld really appreciate any other suggestions. |
| yasmiina | Friday, March 02, 2001 - 04:20 pm
what makes it difficult is that you call it dating. soomaalidaba in soomalia iyo xitaa miyiga waa ay isla sheekaystaan. so tell your brother before he does. tell him everything,every parents and brothers know that their sisters go out with someone, otherwise how are they suppose to get married?. if you did not sleep with him or kiss him. you did not do anything wrong.do your parents trust you? believe me it is easier to face your brother than staying with this guy. are going to marry him? |
| SIRRUS | Saturday, March 03, 2001 - 09:20 am
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO 
IDIL:
I am not laughing at your missery, for this is a serious problem and the guy is sick, weak, bastard who is using blackmail to his end.
I am laughing at how right, Honesity (much love), Bashir (to the point), and yes lastly Basra (we had our differences, but dating is not that horror you been told about.) |
| manaxe | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 07:42 pm
idil, do u think we love to hear your stupid story and idioticm?
please respect the room and clean up the mess you put in yourself.
there are things which are proper to say and the proper thing for ye to do is to tell him as you had been with him before that ye no longer need him simple as abc.
ye are now telling us indirectly that somali men are possessive, ye are the one who is possessive, no body wants no body who doesnt want no body.
ye are smart enough to invent this story ugly pitch..
who is dis guy who is so much obssessed with ye?
i feel pity for ye as you are trying to get attention for the pain you went through because the guy break your heart for the simple reason that you dont have a clittor...kintir laaweey, beenta daa abaayo xuuxeey,,caadi waaye hadii oo wadna xanuun aa ka qadey fool xumadaada |
| Anonymous | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 01:55 pm
manaxe your name suits you just fine
lol@@ |
| big-dog | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 07:06 pm
BABY_GIRL what u need to do is stop giving him
ASS and all that good dick-sucks u keep giving him
dont say my-boyfriend is doing me wrong couse u are there giving him a good-ass, and the man aint
gonna go anywhere. so first stop sucking his dick. |
