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     | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 03:48 am This is not written...this is all coming straight from me as I type it. I am high sitting in the library on a Friday afternoon... I just voted for whom I lost my virginity to. It made me think of a lot of things that I haven't in some time. I suppose I tried to just forget the whore I once was. Even though she's been rearing her ugly head around here lately. I have found myself in the position to ponder why I do what I do when and where I do it and who I'm doing it with.!!! Sometimes, I believe that even I don't realize the magnitude of being able so say honestly that at 22 years old, I have slept with over 10, over 20, over 30, over 40, over 50.. I've slept with over 50 people. In 10 years. That is an average of 5 different men a year. Except that is not the case.. not at 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 years-old. No, I was not sleeping with 5 men a year. I've experience so very many one-night stands that it is amazing. Met many at clubs when I've been high or drunk, or fucked up somehow... We'd party, ••••, party, ••••, pass out, wake up, work, shower, party, ••••, party, ••••, pass out... you see the pattern? Then there were the "Parking Lot fucks"... those I met in the club, fucked in the car (his, hers, mine, friends....) or fucked in between cars in the parking lot. Then the ones I'd have as "•••• Buddies"... those that I partied with specifically for the fucking. That was our thing. Fucked. Left. Meet up again in a few weeks. But what about those that I cared about? The one's I did want to know? The one's who meant something more than sex? What about them? They're the ones who want to •••• you, but don't like the fact that you'd •••• them so soon. Losing respect or some ••••. Whatever, why can't I be able to •••• whomever whenever and not be judged a whore? What I do with my body is my business...and if a man is going to enjoy that body then how are they going to tell me that I am a whore? It's a game. A game that I didn't choose to play in... so how come I am trapped within it. But, I've rambled off the subject here... that's the weed talking... sorry about that! Here's what I am saying, Yes, I was a whore.. by what most would consider -- I fucked for the fun! and Forgot most of them just as easy as they did me. It was all about being where I was, having as much fun as possible. But I thought I put that in my past. I thought that I was not that person any longer. Yet, here I am and I can say that I have lived in Florida now for all of 8 months, and I have fucked 5 guys. One was a •••• buddy, one a man on vacation from Ohio, one a one night stand that lasted all weekend long and then disappeared back to the Air Force Base-never to be heard from again, One a guy I was actually dating... I even put it off for 2 or 3 weeks. I even liked him... but that got all fucked up and that is another story altogether. And finally this last guy... Mike. That was a guy who followed us home from the bar/club (if that's what you'd call it), and wanted to party, get high, and well, I was on my first roll...needless to say the fucking was inevidable...And fabulous... So has the whore from the past returned....or did she ever leave in the first place? Who am I? What am I? Why do I do these things? Am I a whore? Will the somali guy i marry ever really know? Would i tell him? should i? I sure won't commit suicide, so i shall find a good guy i hear it is never too late to repent i shall spend the rest of my time in a mosque and there i shall find one who will have me. He will forgive my past i hope? Am i alone in my behaviour or are there others like me????? Let me know?????
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 03:55 am You not a hoe honey, you is a heavy weight champion of the hoes.Ring !Ring!Here comes the reighning hoe of them all.Let's Ramboooooo.DuH?
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 04:10 am well I've got to hand it to u ninxoon you never cease to amze me.....looooooooooooooool what a story.....that was your best one so far.......loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.......ninxoon gacan baa kuu taagey.........you've showed us all that you are the biggest whore of all time..........looooool
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 04:13 am Xoogsade = NiinXoon If you've not become smart about it,then you never will.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 05:11 am all i can say is that feel sorry for you you think you are having fun but i hope you realize what you are doing or did is not good for you here or there after anyway just got one question for you have you checked yourself to see if you have picked std hiv any of those desieases?. if you haven't you check your self before its too late ninxoon hope you handle this one well bye
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 05:18 am jamiila, well,well,well look who we have got here the proclaim hoe of the century.. boy, another day another hoe seeking he 15 seconds of shame!!! jamiila, bitch do you know that dean james mack lll is looking for your ugly mutilated pussy all over the place, apparently you need 4 courses to graduate from( Hoe University) if you are not gonna be able to register this semester he kindly wants his diploma back...... PS the courses are by the way : 1- the addiction to dirty jamacan naked body 2- Nigerian peins what is myth what is fact. 3- 99 ways to cope up with loosing virginity 4- I'm having sex with my pet!
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 06:07 am some were born to lead the world...some were born to be lawyers...some were born to fear god in every sense of the word...some to be decent and polite...but in your case..I will have to conclude...you were born to be slut. I am however shocked by your definition of "Having a Good Time"...I have always thought sharing life, love and sorrows with a loving partner(husband or wife) would have been more fun and dignifying...it is also less risky when it comes to contracting STDS. I am highly skeptical the validity of your tale...but if in fact it is the truth...you do not deserve a good, decent man period....they say birds of the same feather fly together.....the last thing a good man would want to worry about..is the fact that his kid's mother was the solitary winner of..THE MAKING OF A WHORE AWARD In life we judge one on how one conducts himself/herself. You wanted this life style..and now you shall live the consequences of it.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 06:20 am Maweelo i know the feeling... In the days I last laid eyes upon- In the nights I wept my tears on- The black that held my hand so tight- And the slice the made my wrist so bright. I felt you inside me crying- I heard you behind me dying- Your eyes reflecting in the red- My fangs glistening at what you’d said. The moon that died to clouds and rain- That fell asleep and never woke again- Your tender hands that held me steady- As I gnashed my fear and soon drew ready. My pain, I fear, is yours to feel- This night of dreams has become quite real- The shadows dance upon our silhouettes- And demons leap and pirouette. As music plays to our beating hearts- And words fall silent as the dying starts- "Kiss me now, and kiss me forever",- I said to him as his flesh did sever. To the razor porcelain below my lips- And the cradling arms around his hips- "To kiss you now is never again",- He said to me as he rolled his head. In the nook of my neck, baring white- And my jugular pounding, as I try not to fight- For in this hour, his life lost to me- For my need to survive, for me to be. I that have hunted him, and soon shall unto you- There is no reason, there is no "who"- That will be next...just faces and flesh- Flowing blood that will soon come to rest. Fill my belly, barrel through my veins- Live in me, even though you are slain- Live forever, for I am to pay- For the murder, for the rape. And the tears wept for us all- Will cease to flow when hate comes to a halt- As I lay to rest in your blackened hearts- Know I too, am in all of you, we will never part. fang in there! ~khatra P.S these dickhead make a mistake thinking that they alone can have their cake and eat it! Listenup men wana bes. You say you can go •••• a white woman and then go home to marry a vargin, good for you. but you think we ain't got no solution??? guess again we got the middle-east full of rich somali men. 2 can play the field. You loose boys. Especialy that tissue lover Mo_dead_y. sick bastarards like you are the reason sisters leave the comm. •••• you and •••• you •••• head white girl. Bet you go for white because they got little a55 and i thing you have a small dick and a woman with a round a55 would swollow you quick hehehehehehehehe@ModickLess nigerians no no white naaaaaaaaaah sister Maweelo sup walaalo eeeeeek white no woman... try gunjamen rasta, and you don't goto pay for the weed no more... Bluntz jesus no way gyrlllll stick to the natural stuff, makes your G-spot tingle for hours... u knowz the score Love your honesty... cos they all hoes under cover... we ain't hoes we just real and we "take care of needs" just like they do bitches probably went to emerites and got the operation to become a vergin agian.... yes yes yes in Oman, dubia, Bahrain a woman can have an operation to seal the vigina opening and make it look like a vergin again........  hehehehehe modafukers whoz the player know suckers.... get on you fucking knees and lickout the juice...
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 06:27 am Inaalilaahi wa inaa ileyhi raajicuun. I couldn't believe myself reading this noisome and disgusting tale of yours. I feel sorry for your loving parents. You were baseness to our beloved people "Somalis". However, if you are Muslim there is still a hope for you; that is if you are disgusted and sorry for this detestable behaviour of yours. You need to come back to Islam and fulfil all the regulations of repentance. I would advice you to go to your local Masjid and speak to the Sheikh there; you don't need to tell all these defiled things you have written, but you need to tell him that you had shortcoming when it comes to practising Islam fully. He shall tell you want you need to do in order your repentance to be valid accordingly. May Allah bless us all and guide us to the right path. Mahir
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 06:37 am This is a poem writen in memory of a dear friend who would have turned 18 on the 18 of November. But instead we celebrated the first year without her on the 14 of December 2000. I ask you aonly to save your friends in a way I could have saved her. Goodbye and Blessed Be Aisha. Relax and unwind that's what we all do Especaially when you pay for for one and get two Gather the girls, fellows, and friends, A toast to all may we meet again Manhattans Iceteas and Gin on the Rocks Left in her car but drove only two blocks The light had changed green but didn't stop All that remained was a convertible top No one realized or even wanted to try To take her keys before she would die So cherish your friend and stay aware Don't let them drive drunk Show them you care. Maweelo&Juicy don't post any information that will point back to you because there are crafted devils in here and they will trace you and messup anything you got planned. I lost one friend by just watching her burn herself out of living. What ever you have done is the past i hope you think of the future. You won't get any help or understanding here. Forget hating these useless idiots.It would be my pleasure to get to know you both. Mail me Haweya73@hotmail.com I too live close to Florida.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 07:47 am i don't know if i am late responding to this, but Maweelo e-mail me and I will help you realieve all those sexual desires.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 08:15 am Maweelo.........sistah if u really wanna repent.........Allah's mercy is open for ya and for anyone else.........Allah is the one who u should ask 4giveness.......not us somali pple.........u know u wont get nothin' but disrespect......... Sis there was a man once who killed 100 pple....what is worse in Islam than killin' someone..........and Allah 4gave him....his soul now is restin' in heaven......so neva lose hope in Allah.......... Like my girl m&m said..........go to a clinic and take an STD test...........i'm not sayin' this to disrespect ya......but sis how would u know how healthy u r if u cant even count how many men u've been with....right..!! Walaahi i know guys that do what u do and worse.....they r even public with it........and then they go and merry a clean girl.......just how fair is life..!!! Jamila.........what happend girl....is that the real jamila or a fake one now...!!!!!
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 09:28 am Maaweelo; Aha! there you go!. yeah keep on moving. That was good entertainment. And guess what? Somali men are so naive up to a point that you can scam the muazzin + the imam of the next door majid to be your future husbands after you did all this shiit. I see you gotta game!. keep on doing what you doing now.At the end of the day, there will be some-sexual-maniac somali guy, who only listens his hormones, crawling under your feet screaming out loud "Maawello, will you maryy me??". Alipapa
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 10:39 am to maweelo I'm a young somali student who's doing a research on African hoe's especially Somalis and that their effect on the western atmosphere..so please could you help me here by answering my questionnaire ,please don't take it personal it's strickly business............. Have you lost your virginity to: a)a blind srilankan father ------------- b) deaf Pakistani man c)Rwonadan with a amputated leg----------d) a senior citizen from panama e) an ugly ass Jamaican----------------------f) a Haitian gentleman with a limb g) a an Ethiopian orphan-----------------------h) a retarded Bosnian 2) Do you have? a)HIV------------------------b) herpes b)Syphilis----------------------d) Ebola 3) Have you had sex with? a)Dog--------------------------b) a Cambodian cat b)A fish--------------------------d) a lama 4) Do you have sex? a)While pregnant with bastard-------------b) during your period c)While taking ••••-------------------------d) during a seizure 5) Is your ass hole bigger than? a)Your cunt-----------------------------------b) your mouth c)The ozone layer------------------------------e) lile Richard’s ass hole 6) When you masturbate do you use? a)A banana-------------------------b) cucumber c)A metal pipe------------------------e) an empty gin bottle e) TV remote control----------------------f) mardoof of jaad 7) What is your sexual fetish? a)Like to be spit on during sex-----------------b) like to be bitten while doing it c)Love perform golden shower--------------------d) •••• on men while they masturbate 8) Do you have the tendency to a)Have sex in public place--------------------------------b) flash unsuspected on-lookers c)ave sex in cold dark areas------------------------------d) sleep with total strangers e)Keep it in the family (uncle,cousin,bro…ect) 9) During sex do you: a)Moan------------------------------------------b) cry c)Scream-----------------------------------------d) vomit How often do you have sex? a)once every hour------------------b)3 times every hour-------------------------c)once every 15 minutes---------------------d)3 times every 45 minutes ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 10:47 am Maaweelo=Alipapa.....u r Sad old Man!!!!!!!!!Alllah is watching u! So guys don,t waste your time her..........how can u really believe anything any one Writes? I don,t thing u guys that stupid..........
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 11:59 am To the fake Sagittarius above; The idiot who's obsessed with my nickname,please get one for your own sake! And if for some reasons you like that nickname too much, at least I propose, get one as Sagittarius II, or the III, or whatever that suits you. To the General Public, It's not my style to use profanity, vulgarity, obscenity, or any other inappropriate means to express myself, thus I would like to bring to your attention the existence of an impostor using my alias and foul mouthing others.Therefore, all I can say is, I offer my apologies on his/her behalf.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 12:04 pm maweelo. you are a hoe to the second power....
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 01:57 pm you messedup my mood and it is eid tomorow so you gift to me is this insult? I have never typed a word that was as faul as what you just used Khatra... never... as for me expressing a simple problem with our women in terms of the attension they give us... does not constitute the attack you have launched against me... i don't know the other two but i know you kharta... north london ring a bell?... cyper naughties with Busta Rhymes in Gen.chat ring a bell??? does your number end with 434532 with 1-2-1?... don't you have a brother named yusuf? didn't you go DNK? don't you have a boy friend named ali-arab? from BruceGrove? You will not get abused from me... just simple facts that everone now knows... you would have enjoyed me to take part in your entertainment but when i press the Post message button it will be like i pressed a nuclear bomb trigger in your gut... i didn't harm you... you messedup my mood... now you pay the price... cause you don't even know who i am... i feel sorry for your man... i hope you will teach you manners if he won't... i won't botter to cuss you... i'll come looking for your boyfriend and kick his butt in front of you and then spit on your face... West london boys got your life story in a diary hundreds of pages long... you mension my name agian and i'll not just post small facts about you i'll give your name address and phone number so all the corny nigers can have a go with you... Comprende? i have never felt this sick in my whole life..
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 04:24 pm Modey I feel u.....I feel like throwing up. But brother wats the point of exposing these ppl? U as sick as they are.
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| | Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 05:26 pm angryGirl, Have some mercy on me. Ok?. since when i turned to be sad old man?. I just wished if you knew me. God knows that you would have wet your underwear. And i swear. Needless to say , i am not maaweelo. Alipapa
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 03:39 am Anon i wish i knew who they were... i'd get some of it... with 3condoms for safety... Really got no idea who she is i think they all USA girls, UK girls aren't that bad... I mean common how the hell you expect me to guess who they are from what they vomited on the screen... i'll keep an eye out though because you never know these days, what they are saying is reality some where or the other... What i have learnt here is to make sure i really do a good background check on my future wife... there is no way i could deal with my wife telling me she lost her virginity to some adoon.. blatent ... Just because i have said in the past that somali guys should go for white girls does not mean that i believe it... i still haven't lost my bloody V... i ain't ashamed to say that at 25 i know my soul mate is there some where also starving for attension just like me and if she can wait then i too can bloody keep my zip closed till then... My god some people take everything they read as fact... i wonder if these people actually believe that actors who die on TV die an then come back to life in the next film. Sh*t i didn't know there are kids in the forums??? Sorry ladies but you are all alone in your behaviour... i sure ain't no slut My dear ladies don't blame me, my only crime was to lie and to subsecuently cause you to divulge your hiden past... bye bye 4real
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 07:34 am F*ck all of ya'll hoes, and all especially them nymphos. That story was a fake, but there are people who agree with that. F*ck you f*cki sluts that give it up to anyone with a d*ck. Ya'll make me sick for real. So all of ya'll hoes that agreed witht that peice of fiction, go •••• yourselves. One....
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 02:22 pm This is but a short peek into the insanity that is my mind. Man the most destructive species Man destroys all he can He destroy's his land Slaughters his animals for fashion Poisons his air and water Rapes and pilages the earth Kills whoever oppose him Hates all he can not understand Accepts nothing but what he believes to be reality The "reality" is like this; a thirteen year old girl gets picked up from school by 3 guys in a mustang she just got started with the smoking habit and didn't much care for the false eduction being pumbed into her head. They drive her to a flat in some where in chicago and the smoking begins from just after lunch break till near almost the time school ended for te day. She checked her watch and started to collect her things to go home and make mumy think lil angel was hard learning all day. There was Jama a dark skinned darood about 5'5 with 2 kids at 20 with Afro-Amer woman. He pulls my school bag from me and says in a joking voice "plzzz stay" as i walk towards him he throws the bag to Mowliid 6'1 never asked him his tribe but he was best friends with my older brother he had multiple convictions for armed robbery and assult, he plain scared me so i just stared at him till he passed the bag to Itchy he was mixed race and had Exyma. I always joked with him cause he was very freindly, i thought if anyone i would get it of him as i walked away from Mowliid he grabbed my hair and just pushed me down to the floor, need i describe the horror that followed? 13 years old, the youngest of them was 20. Lost much blood that day,Abortion followed 2months later. Scared for life Through this Conscious sunshine I struggle to be seen and more over felt by a faciest society with no more morals than the cement which paves our world. Who then, can I confide in other than those who most certainly have not the slightest notion of what ails me? or other than those trapped in their own ignorance without any desire to escape? By 15 there was no human left in me! I plea, my final plea as I slash my wrist Iit's such a twist. I'm at broken edge, and no one wants to step out on the ledge, to take my hand and walk with me through the sand. I'm so lonely and deprested that death is a welcome guest. They say what I have is a gift the gift of life well I don't want it. So you'll find me here I'll lay here waitng for death patiencely. Knowing it's on it's way. Stupid younger sister shared my room with me and noticed i satyed too long in the adjoining bathroom. Father kicks in door to find half dead angel in the bath-tub, 911 and they save what can't and should not be saved! Still got the scars on both wrists, the family then locked me up in a famous psychitric ward, they prefered i stayed alive in a soft paded room in a straight jacket. They didn't want me dead nor did they want me alive to cause them shame. They made their visits like fucking volutures flying over head waiting to hear the last breath leave this shell. Breathing, alone in the dark, no one hears me, screaming myself senseless again. I fell back upon my instinct, and landed hard against my regret, so here I am alone, reaching -but not hard enough- for strength. Do you dare judge me? do you have a 13yr old sis? Eventualy when even death refused to claim me, i joined in that which i could not beat! Yes i do wonder which one of the •••• faces •••• heads was the first!!! i sometimes sit back on my bed and wish i had the strength to tie them down and push a dildo up thier ass and then push it down their mouths. You would never understand! wait till you have a daughter and someone makes her the living dead •••• •••• and judge me you assholes should go and make em pay for what they did. ~I hear all these gangastas with codes and rules but none of you would actually make em pay if i told you thier names and addresses!!! so •••• off and let me air my fucking story... aight
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 03:46 pm maaweelo, Again two thumps up! keep on moving and entertaining these humorless and boring somalinet folks. For sure, you are talented and creative individual!. Alipapa
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 04:47 pm You are not a whore keep tossind salad with the speed of light
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 05:37 pm If this is what has happened to you...please accept my apology for my previous comment..I honestly was under the illusion that you chose this life style...please forgive me ...I don't want to add to your agony I can only pray and hope that those predators that has done this to you to rot in hell...I am sure they will pay for their actions one way or the other...I am terribly sorry it was not your mistake... My question is ..even if they did this horrible thing to you.... why not tell your parents and the appropriate authority...and why have you destroyed yourself because having sex with every one is not the solution....Although I understand the pain and the suffering you went through at that young age...I am however positive that you could have chosen the right path.....which is go to shool...fear Allah...and make sure you get those suckers arrested....and please do not finish yourself by destroying yourself...take your revenge and tell them the police...and hopefully they will get their share in prison...this type of guys do not usually live long...they either get shot or beaten to death...I hope they get the latter. May Allah show you the right way...I pray....Amiin may Allah give a lasting peace in mind....I would hate the same thing happen to my sister..I love her dearly...so once again please forgive me...
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 06:24 pm maaweelo lol hell you are freaking whore.damn damn you slept with all these mens and you still didn't picked HIV next time you planing to have sex i wish you pick mad HIV.lol i hate you big whore..lol
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| | Monday, March 05, 2001 - 08:38 pm yes
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 03:14 am Maweelo, your life is in your hands-not your aggressors. I am doubtful of your tale, but if it is true, let me give you mine. It was Somalia,1992: a 16 year old hugs to herself an empty bucket...quickly running to a a nearby well,this little girl,finds herself confronted by three white men. Smiling meekly, but terrified, she says "hello" as she used to be taught in school before this war. Before an instant,the empty bucket was on the ground and so was she. No one heard her muffled cries...Before going home, she washes up, and goes home with the full bucket of water. Telling no one she goes to sleep, not with tears of sadness but tears of hatred, vengeance...all she could think of was "withgrow" the name she heard from her attackers. It is now 2001 and this little girl has finished university. she has overcome her hate and become stronger...I am that little girl...but I have not chosen to fall I have chosen to rise above my attackers and succeed in life.
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 07:06 am When I was younger I lived in Salt Lake City. I was sort of obscure. Liking fuzzy mittens and bunnies, it seemed like everyone dismissed me as a person. Growing older I no longer like fuzzy mitten, cotton is great. It seems while everyone says why don't you like me for who I am, when was the last time you liked someone for who the are. True goodness is not about being conscious about making everyone the same, but sympathizing, so everyone feels better. Before I left, I realized my family was Mormon, but all of them were really good to me. It did not make sense to put them down. After a long time people started to trust me again, and I got my life together and moved. I got involved with groups that sideline Goths for Arts & Crafts, not to make a statement. I am an artist. I make a statement everyday and often it is not the same statement. Icky Stuff still bothers me. Even people who are not Goth make fun of me. There seems to be something about the statement, "I do not like smashed kitten and severed heads." Try not to be preachy, but who cares. Most of the time people do not care unless art makes a statement. Am i the only somali who is different???
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 07:08 am The world is holy. Nature is holy. The body is holy. Sexuality is holy. The mind is holy. The imagination is holy. You are holy. The spiritual path that is not stagnant ultimately leads one to the understanding of one's own divine nature. Thou art Goddess. Thou art God. Divinity is imminent in all nature. It is as much within you as without. Hoe still a hoe!!!
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 07:24 am It's been eight years now. You would think that I could heal.But as the time rolls on the pain and grief of loss seem to linger more and more. I was 17 when he died..2 months to my 18th birthday.And the man whom I idolized just had the audacity to never wake up one morning.We dwell so much on death that you would think it would have been easier to accept the loss of this warm and wonderful man. But somehow maybe not so unexpectedly I was not able to mourn.So here I sit almost nine years later just begining the mouning process for the Husband I lost.... the one man who I will always love... Dead to me but after getting my virginity he called of the engagement and now has 4 kids with his cousin who he was also engaged to at the same time, i found out too late.... i should have waited till after the wedding to let him have me... somaliman? There are no somali men period, argue all yall want but thas di bottom line to this whole painfull confessions!!! Any woman who gets aids then goes to Moqadisho to infect all the rats will be doing th world a farour... i hope you all nothing short of extinction!!!
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 07:35 am @satans queen Freakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk yiiiiiiykkzzzzzz This poem is in remembrance of this gal I met, cannot remember her name. There now, that is an insult. By far less repetitive and I even have a rift to go with it. I think I have seen miss Ghetogirl around. Maybe she would like to see what I have done with it. I'm so gothic. I'm so gothic. Look at me. I'm so gothic. Got a big black hat and pointy shoes. It must be night, Because in the day I snooze. I'm so gothic. I'm so gothic. You looking at me. I'm so gothic. Wait right here, I'll hurry back. Got to rush home to smoke my crack. I'm so gothic. I'm so gothic. They are looking at me. I'm not gothic. I'm not gothic. I'm not gothic. Don't look at me. I'm not gothic. Got long hair, but I behave. Going to take my friend to a techno rave.
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| | Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 08:35 am juicy you are simply SICK Ubah your story have touched me,I'm full of sympathy towards you sis,you have this faith most people lack.were they americans?could you tell?if yes you should do something about it sis,don't let them get away with it NEVER. those dead 18 american navy seals are your condolences sis,lift your face up and walk with pride for we SOMALIS don't take bull •••• from nobody. your somalibrother
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 04:24 am I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for ya. The question in my mind is.......Which one of them is SADDER........MAWEELO Or the POETS? By the way U remind me of Annabelle Chong, the one who had sex with 250 men in the course of 10 hours. That documentary made me realise how sad and pathetic humans can get. Whatever U perceive as "having fun" is an addiction? I am sure U can not surpass your tendencies to do it with every Tom, Dick and Harry. My advice to you sister is Repentance and seeking forgiveness to Allah. U will not benefit from these peoples curses or approvals simply coz they don't know you......Connect with Allah and U will surely see a noticable difference in your behaviour. Peace
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 05:56 am Make your peace with God (Allah)....he is the ultimate judge.....life is short but it is never too late to rediscover the person in you...May Allah guide to the right path peace
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 06:35 am I do recall somewhere stating that i did reach that same conclusion by myself, when there was nothing left in life: I reached total emptyness.Clearity of a single moment, where the world stoped and i seemed like an outsider making an observation on every thing and one just floating past in fluidic motion! Life/death just seems like two sides of the same coin. Pain in life and the only pain in death is knowing a younger sister will cry all the rest are just stupid extras in these filty movie! The director sure loves to inflict a cruel act on this simple pupet. My sister just began her first year in College in DC, i saw the look on my parents faces when she got accepted. ~Sigh~  i am really happy for her and would like to be there when she graduates. She is reason enough to live i guess. I go to visit them once ever few months cause i can't take it when i have go outside to smoke every other minute. I am glad though that i moved out before i had any enfluence on the younger ones. Hey i work and pay for my own sh1t so noone goto ave any trouble wid that. People i real did expect the worst response that anybody could throw and i was prepared to take it all on the face cause i asked for but surprisingly, you all seem to have actually felt the reality of this one posting and kept your self from over reacting and instead giving advice you see as the best solution for me from your perspective. Thank you all for your understanding. But my point in posting originaly was to know how i am viewed and then to find out wether it is possible to lead a "normal life" in somali terms. ? Is it possible to actualy find acceptance in this community again, i am affraid to get involved and be known as a somali. Noone knows my past but i'll have to lie to be part of this community because i won't get equal treatment from people if they know the truth. For instance i can't have kids due to damage in the womb lining, so my problem is magnified, i am not ready to believe and practice religion after such a life but some day maybe! Would you agree that there are guys who have done worse and then married girls from good families? Why can't i do it too? who ever asks them what they did, so can i justify myself by keeping my past a personal part of me and start afresh and expect treatment as such? Amran
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 12:11 pm Yo! Hoe, what city are you in. HIV is real. even somalian puss*y is hot,and will burn.
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 02:41 pm hi maweelo!!! I strongly feel your problem. see I once met a girl with similar problems but unfortunatly she traveled to another country before I could have a chance to help her. I want to tell you that we all have all kinds of f*up problems,but the most important is if we realized it ourselves,and you were sayin about being accepted in the somali community who cares as long as you are in one peace and love yourselve cause when noonelse where there you were there for yourselve. But selfpitty won't tace you nowhere and feeling careless .Please tace care of yourselve, there is always hope and if you try to change and you fail dont give up just try again, you can leave tthe people but if you dont leave the lifestyle is all the same. So please tace care of yourselv you where born alone and will die alone.
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 03:48 pm Maaweelo yeah start out fresh sister. There is no reason for u to publicise your life to the somali community, cos the somali community means nothing. It meant nothing to while u were in the procces of ruining your reputaion....u didnt think about it then, u were doing what u wanted, doing ur own sh**, so why should it matter now?Have u heard to of the man who killer 100 ppl and still when to paradice because he repented in time before his death? Well this kinda how this is.....Sis if u keep puting it off u will gain nothing ...but I am sure that when u turn back to Allah u will feel very diffrent. U will not feel cheap and worthless, u know that there is Allah how forgives sins (and what u are doing is sinful) and who can punish for them. I would say quit worrying about the somali community or whether a man will marry u...girl life aint about men! Are u gonna base your fate in the hereafter on a man? Will u say "if a somali man will never marry me there is no point in me changing my ways"??? Honey the somali community will not judge u in the hereafter only Allah wil and as long as u are still alive then U still have a chance to turn things around. U may have messed your body up (and ur body is amaanah from Allah) but u still have a chance to save your soul from the evil which u practice. U are in my prayers. 1luv & aslaamu alaikum
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| | Wednesday, March 07, 2001 - 07:56 pm to the hater girl WANNABE GIRL SLOW DOWN,TAKE YOUR STEPS SLOW AND LEARN IT FROM the wise ONES,plze biatch never ever in yor whole freaking life use my name,i guess a lot of people wanna be like me,talk like me dress like me,act like me ,walk like me but gir it takes a long time to be like so don't tRip with the REAL HAter GiRL,PLEEZE BALEEVE IT!
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 12:01 am She who celebrates her birthday on the 23rd December can be found drifting through the streets of San Diego, California with her short, brown hair and dressed in a black satin corset, suede miniskirt, suede heels, black floor-length velvet cape, quantities of pale foundation, dark eye stuff, and blood-red lips... also a silver pentacle and an ankh. She has also been seen wearing long light-colored robes and the above mentioned jewelery. You could also spot her by the clove cigarettes she smokes and a persistent smoker's cough, as well as her favorite pens, and her BOS. She departs with a final message for the Ruined to come. "... In the daylight, other people define you. In the darkness, you have to define yourself." Walaalo i dress gothic and some time dye my hair shiny black and paint my face like dead white when i walk past somalis they don't recognise me they actually cuss without looking at me and all my piercing and tatoos... all i wana say to you is, you escaped a rath of their god...damn why do you wish to be one of them... seriously i feel yeh no matter where we run or what we do we always come home to these swines we ran from! it is some force that is undefinable... Goodluck to us all.. Amoon P.s really touched by your honesty
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 12:04 am Born into blood on the 17th April nineteen-eighty-four, she can be found prowling around Pittsburgh or lurking in her basement. She can be identified by her straight, sometimes braided black/brown hair and the crushed velvet dress and black "boots of death" with 3½ inch heels she wears. Or, (for undercover work) by the big pants and t-shirt (band shirt, solid black or red), although like the individual she is, she changes her style to suit her needs. She carries around her voodoo of pens, a sharpie marker, a lighter, a small screwdriver and a bag containing essentials such as hall passes and a pair of wire cutters. Oh, and don't forget the black 1969 Firebird! *grin* And she feels no need to be a slave to the mobile phone. Her message to those that will soon become ruined is simply, "Don't be scared." She has a web presence called Xandré's House of Horrors. May I suggest you visit.
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 12:11 am The rain begins to fall now, Sweet, clear drops. I'm getting wet, sat here now, Though I care not. And the crimson ink is running, Seeping, Bleeding. Leaving dark, raised welts upon the pale, white page, Like deep, bloody scratches, upon a lover's back. The rain is falling heavy now, Burning into me. Into my stinging eyes now, Though still clear I see. The headstones, old as she, crying, Weeping, Bleeding. Stained by many rains, now gone. Gone, Gone like those that had once mourned, When it had seemed like a good idea, At the time. When flowers and gifts were left, And words were spoken, Whispered lies. The rain is slowing, stopping now, That clear, crisp smell. I sit and smile now, Laughing to myself. The patterned streaks of blood red ink, drying, Crying, Bleeding. Tears now lost, Tears long dry. All Faith lost. In muslim lies. A faith I've never known, The broken promise of flowers, Left dying on the stone. Upon this stranger's grave, I place a blood red rose. And speak to them this poem, This patterned web of prose. I thank you for your company, Amongst this silent place. Where family and friends once came, No more they show their face.
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 12:15 am The old man stands on the corner of Victoria Street wearing a pair of white trainers with three blue chevrons down the outside, almost new yet, without laces. His trousers, a dirty grey cloth held above his fragile, protruding hips with a length of off-white cord fastened in a bow. Perched upon his pointed shoulders he hefts an old, dark green tweed jacket, brown patches at the elbows fading to a rusty cream where years of painful, arthritic motion have worn the leather paper thin. The crowds of people seem to blur past him as I watch from where I sit across the street. Their eyes never once acknowledging his presence. Their movements seem guided, as if to avoid him and I feel that I would not be surprised should someone pass through him, as if it were just myself that can perceive his being. The pale, leathered skin upon his face with its decades of experience shows the small scars of mistakes that we all collect without our realising. The lines and creases of a million frowns and a thousand smiles. The eyes set deep in shadowed sockets ringed by age and hurt. Those eyes that search for contact, questing relentlessly for someone to meet his gaze. He looks at, No, He looks through me, still searching. And I wonder, what thoughts flicker behind those watery, brown, avian eyes. He blinked merely twice in the last minute. I counted. He alternates between pointing one smooth skinned hand at the passing phantoms, busy in their other realm and shaking his tight, white fist into the air. The nails upon his fingers long and broken, dull in lustre and sharp to the touch. In the other parchment paper hand he holds a battered leather bound book. The title worn to nothing by years of tightly grasping, white knuckled fingers. The edges of the pages seem yellow and feathered by constant readings. Angry vitreous words and stern accusations of guilt literally spill from his thin-lipped mouth. Stained teeth bared as his litany of damnation seethes from his raw throat. He looks towards me again. A brief pause amidst his narration. A slight guttural stop. And his gaze moves on, although somewhat awkwardly. Feeling a little cheated of a confrontation, I rise from the seat, shoo away the pigeons from around my feet and walk away, casting the odd, curious glance towards the old man until I can see him no longer. And I too become a phantom amongst the crowds. ?Yusuf
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 01:19 am gone with the wind since the tender age of? i don't revamp but try to class myself as a trendy, although i know i don't belong.nore with the somalis, who get closer to get the dirt and further to help with the pain. i don't know what i'm trying to say but this page and these people make me feel like i haven't been alone all this time.i am certainly an outsider and although i try, god knows how i try i still can't seem to fit in and they all push me away. there's a part of me that tells me god does exist so suicide is not an option, yet another part tells me that i don't belong and never will.where do i go from here? the process of believeing in oneself and finding love from within seems too far a distance.all my life i have been looking for security that i now believe does not exist
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 02:10 am life is a dream! full stop
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 06:30 am why do you find some people stressin all the time then?
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 07:48 am Maweelo....i have come across people in your situation and few have become my good friends and i will be lying if i say i didn't hesitate to indulge them....but things change as you get to know the person...although at times there may not be good reasoning for their dirty past..one can't help but smypathize with them......the very idea that yu realise your mistakes in life is noble Acceptance starts within the person...accept yourself and others will learn to do the same.......free yourself from liberal enslavement of the west and embrace Islam in it's true sense As for your fellow somalis...People will eventaully learn to accept yu...it might take time...but nothing is impossible...i have seen a lot of people reconnecting with the community and finding a final peace...and at last you have to remember no is perfect....any somali including me could have been in your situation. Much love Peace
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 07:59 am morday you know why i call myself morday is because i thought that i won live till this day, dont worry is long story,but now i know that there's still more days to come (inshalah)so what iam saying is you come around my way and make you go throw situation that your in. But first you going show me the real, and ill help you out somehow because me i make something are of nothing ya heard.
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 08:05 am morday you know why i call myself morday is because i thought that i won live till this day, dont worry is long story,but now i know that there's still more days to come (inshalah)so what iam saying is you come around my way and make you go throw situation that your in. But first you going show me the real, and ill help you out somehow because me i make something are of nothing ya heard.
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 10:52 am Maweelo i think you first need to discover your inner attitudes towards how you've spent your life??? if your story is true! then you could be an example to them girls boys in your situation. firstly i would advice you to repent to Allah as he is the forgiver and benificient. You have been chosen to be a muslim as the Prophet was chosen to be a prophet. take that as an honour and be proud of being a muslim. then i think half of what you've done wouldn't of happened. In a way i can relate to you even though Alhamdulillah i'm trying my damn hardest and willing to give all of my will power to practice Islam fully. I never did any of what any of you girls have done nor have i thought of half of the things you have experienced. what we all lack as to hold together the bond as Sisterhood and knowledge of our beautiful religion. and most importantly faith. You must understand that the most perfect life of all lives. A life full of happiness and inspiration to all of our younger brothers and sisters is the life of a MUSLIMAH. the best of it is that all the work we do in this life will pay off the reward we recieve is an eternal Happiness in Jennah. Inshallallah!!!! so sister i will make a dua'a that you see happiness in the path of Islam. Inshallallah
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 11:59 am Wow: I am shocked to see what some of these people actually went through. I guess you could say that I had the easy way out. I had a family who adored me to death, and loving place to call home. However I do understand where you guys are coming from. Life is so complex at times, that it makes wonder will it ever get anymore complicated then it is right now. We are a community that says differnt is bad, and you can't mis bahave god knows you were born to a family that has good name in the community. No one is perfect, and I think the only one that you have to answer is to yourself. Think of others who are going to judge you regardless if your good or bad. Who are they to judge? The only thing you need is yourself, and to belive in Allah for his the allmighty. Some Somalis, can't seem to understand, or want to understand that there are people out there suffuring, because this society promotes to keep everything in the "hush hush." Why we can't for once look at people for their strenghth, their will to love, and for being unique. I don't know if that could ever be established. I have all sorts friends, and none of them are the same which I like. About the suicide, that is some heavy stuff, but I guess you only understand what makes you want to end it. Think about this that life is precoius, even if you haven't had a good life, you can still make one for yourself. I want to dedicate myself in helping others whethe they are Somalis or not. I wish that I could help each, and one of, but unfortantly I can't. I know what you guys need is just for someone to just look at you say "hey how is it going'? without looking at you as if you commited a crime for being different. I am sorry if I seem to stop it's all only because my heart is bleeding for all of you out there. To Maaweelo: I think you have the will do to whatever you want in this life time(remeber that you only have one life to live). I think you are a great writer honestly, and that should tell you something. Your writing is way more healing to you I am sure then what anyone can offer you. I would say take your time, and please don't think that every somali is perfect. So what if you don't ever have children you can adopt, and still show a child in need wha it is to be loved. As far as a relationship goes, they say love is blind, and I am sure that one day you will find someone who is worthy of you. Your actions of the past were not good, and I am glad you have realized it, but at the same time let the past stay at the past. Don't worry too much about who is going to except you and who isn't think of it this way. You have survived, and should thank Allah, and yourself for being so strong. Those guys should be excuted for doing what they have done to you sister, but remeber in order to love someone you have love yourself first! Much respect to all of you who have shared your stories with us. You have all left me speechless! Ayaanick
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 12:45 pm I have to check and record as you go and come on a routine basis before I can make any decisions to judge whether you are or not. Later.
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 02:20 pm CAN Y'ALL EXPLAIN WHAT HOE IS CUZ I AM A RETARD
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| | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 02:32 pm Nice one :Retard thanks bro I was getting serious when I checked this hoe posting. listen all of you... MAWELLO: her game is called MAWELLO VERY OLD SOMALI TRICK TO KILL TIME.... I THINK
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| | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 01:05 am People of all ages commit suicide, men and women as well as young children, the rich as well as the poor. No one is immune to this tragedy. Why would anyone willingly hasten or cause his or her own death? Mental health professionals who have been searching for years for an answer to that question generally agree that people who took their own lives felt trapped by what they saw as a hopeless situation. Whatever the reality, whatever the emotional support provided, they felt isolated and cut off from life, friendships, etc. Even if no physical illness was present, suicide victims felt intense pain, anguish, and hopelessness. John Hewett, author of After Suicide, says, "He or she probably wasn't choosing death as much as choosing to end this unbearable pain." Were there financial burdens that coudn't be met? marriage or family problems? divorce? scholastic goals that weren't achieved? loss of a special friendship? the death of a close friend or spouse? A combination of these or other circumstances could have precipitated suicide, or it could have been a response to a physiological depression. Although many people face similar problems and overcome them, your loved one could find no solution other than death. But sometimes there are no aparent causes. No matter how long and hard you search for a reason, you won't be able to answer the"WHY" that haunts you. Each suicide is individual, regardless of the generalizations about the "why's", and there may be no way you will completely understand the suicide victim's thought process. As you look for answers and understanding, you also need to deal with your feelings of shock, anger and guilt. The intensity of your feelings will depend on how close you were to the deceased and the degree of involvement you had with his or her life. As each suicide is individual, so will your reaction, healing and coping process be unique. Some survive and some don't! i guess you can never predict who will or who won't. I stopped being stubburn for once and just did what everyone i met on somalinetchat has adviced me to do. I went out and bought an outfit which is more conservative and hijab. It is not that i feel the calling but i want to give it a try and just do it to see how it goes. If it goes ok then i guess you guys will recieve your reward if i endup hating it you still will recieve your rewards... Devils-love Ubah Blackbeauty SomaliYankee UNICORN Azziza ayaanick... you most brought tears to my eyes and i could not believe myself breakingout into tears, i always thought i was too hardened to feel the simple love expressed by a stranger,i felt your love through your words. Allah bless you all for your advice and time you spent bringing out the positive in me, even if it does not last long, inshah allah it will last. ameeeen I live close to a mosque at 12950 Ct. Manassas VA 20109. Wish me luck folks it is the first time i am going there since 14, i still remember alhamdu iyo quluhu wala and i am just reading the steps to wudu and praying, it is easier then it sounds. Thankyou all again. Love amran
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| | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 02:13 am This is your muslim sister if you are indeed a muslim then no matter how bad your deeds are or how unpure you are you can never be more dirtier than a non muslim (Kafir) i can only make Dua for you to be guided but you sound like an intelligent girl and those who feel depressed about thier sinns are those who are guided. Allah shows his Mercy to his servants by covering thier sinns and the shame they commit and when you broadcast your sinns you are indeed lifting that cover which Allah has bestowed on you. So if you are seriously repenting for your deeds Allah can only change your situation if you change what is within your self, dont let the Shatan use and abuse you and lead you to the hellfire because those who commit Zenna (adultary) will be placed in a baking oven with fire coming to them from thier private parts so for your sake repent. In Islamic countries those who commit Zeena which is a stoning to death sentence and if they admit thier sins and ask to be stoned to death thier sinns are forgiven. I hope this makes you reallise the seriousness of what you are doing and repent sincerely to your creator Allah and may he fogive you and set you on the straight path (Sirratul-Mustaqim)
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| | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 04:39 am TO MAWEELO NOW WE NOW YOU GONNA REPENT TO ALLAH (SWT) WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT YOUR CONTAMINATED FILTHY INFESTED WITH DISEASE PUSSY?! AND ARE YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND YOUR DIRTY PAST? I STILL THINK THAT YOU AIN'T NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF HAZARDOUS WASTE...................
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| | Friday, March 09, 2001 - 06:03 am oh No !! No !! please maaweelo!... and i am suppose to believe that????. Maaweelo please don't waste your time and don't corrupt and disturb good muslims praying that masjid. You see, some people were meant to succeed and destined for good while others were meant to fail and destined to chhill in the hell. I am not sure but i guess you fall in the last category. You seem good candidate for hell. Please don't waste your time. Needless to say i didn't believe any damn thing you wrote here nor you been sincere. ANd i guess what? my suspicion began from YOUR NAME(maaweelo) and the way you are changing the topics and manipulating the poor and naive somalis, who happen to believe every crap that every TOM, DICk and Hurry trashed on somalinet walls.
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 06:30 pm YA ALL IDIOTS DON'T Y'ALL GET IT HER NAME IS MAWEELO AND I THAUGHT THAT WILL RING A BELL IN YAR DUMB HEADS BUT SINCE IT DIDN'T I WILL WRITE IT IN BIG CAPS FOR Y'ALL,THIS IS ALL MAWEELO,AINT NOTHING TRUE,I MEAN IF Y'ALL WERE SMART ENOUGH LIKE ME YOU WILL KNOW LIKE WHEN SHE SAID,HEY MAWEELO SHOULD I REVEAL YAR SECRTET AND LET THEM BURST THEIR BRAINS OUT OR............ HEHEHEHEHE MAWEELO CUT THE CRAP!YOU WATCH TOO MUCH JERRY SPRINGER AND RICKI LAKE,STOP WATCHING THOSE STUPID SHOWS AND START WATCHING OPRAH,MAMA SPIRIT SHE MY HERO,PLEEZE BALEEVE IT! CIAO TUTTI
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 07:04 pm hatergirl, you r right.his/her nick said it all.these fools kept on giving replies.
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 11:53 pm I realise the obsticles that face any somali person male or female who makes a mistake. In the eyes of the somali old and now the young, once you sin you are always a sinner. Allah forgives, but you just a mere speck of dust in the universe do not have what it takes to show compassion or kindness to your fellow human. Your opinion is read and disgarded like a tissue in the tiolet. Those who have finite understanding of islam are better of not giving and advice for they only risk securing themself a place in the fire. I have cleared my mind and i have recieved the answers which i sought and i have witnessed much love in the words of some of the people here. Thankyou to those that showed pous and character, i'll never forget your contribution to my peace of mind. I pray allah will keep you strong and reward you with peace and love in your lifes. Amran
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