     maryan | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 12:04 am
i have been with a guy for almost 4 yrs......the first two yrs were like a honeymoon.
then i started traveling for work and he wasnt happy with that.
i tooke him along whenever possible....we used to laugh...cry and be happy but now all we do is fight.
i hate it i miss my old love....the man who cared how i felt.
today i went to his house to drop of his laundry while he was at work.
while i was folding and arranging his clothes some girl called,they met on the internet and he told her about me but he said we broke up
i was soo angry and hurt when he came home i yelled at him.and he tried to explain it then the young lady called back again.
he did the right thing by telling her he had a girlfriend and stuff but i dont know if i can ever trust him again.
he lias to me alot and now he is cheating......not to mention he proposed to me two weeks ago,we are suppose to get married.
i am very confused plz help me out and tell me what to do.
part of me is telling me to let it go and i think i am falling out of love but i am not sure.
and the other part is telling me i have invested many years in this relationship that i should give it a chance.
thank u in advance for ur postive comments.
yours
maryan |
| eomyd | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 12:40 am
No idea walaalo... how much can a virgin contribute to your deflowered life style???
toN ni eht doom... rof yrros ssa yrots...
bye
Do what you do best and dumb him... i would have thought you women have a natural talent for that! run when the competition gets tougher... he is better off without you, if you already have doubts about him especialy when he just proposed to you!
later joker |
| Anonymous | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 02:05 am
Hi Sis,
I wish i could take away the pain the but i cant. Even thought i am not experienced enought in relationships. .............i would suggest that you sit him down and ask him whats changed or what he wants from this relationship.......communication is the key....Be honest with him , tell him how you really feel and what you want fom the relationship also. Fours is a long time. If he truelly loves and wants the relationship to work then i am sure he will mend the problem. But whatever you do dont give on him he maybe afraid to tell you how he really feels . so plase dont give up. |
| Honesita | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 07:38 am
Maryan....sistah ur story is sad walaahi.....4 years is a really long time......and u said it was good for 2 years and bad the rest.....why didnt u leave after those 2 good years......i agree with anonymous......sit down and talk to him....without yelling and screaming....that just makes it all worse.......and take a long break from him......about a month......see how u feel without him.......that might help......i am no expert in relationships but i read some where that breaks help a lot.......!!!!!
Good luck macaanto...!
adios |
| maryan | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 11:24 am
anon.......thx u for ur compassionate comment..but i have tried and every time i try to cummunicate with him the whole thing turns into a fight.we basically disagree on everything now.
he says he still loves me,but what good is love itself when i feel lonely in his arms.
i cant trust him anymore.he has cheated and lied to me.not mention his friends telling him i control him and stuff which walaahi i dont.
but he is soo busy trying to prove his manhood that he is loosing me day by day.
honesita......thank u sis,i think that is what i will do take a break for awhile and see how it works.i have been with him four years....every good and bad thing that happened to me he was there.for some reason i dont know how i will do alone but i have a feeling i will be ok.
ooh and the reason i didnt leave afer the first 2 yrs was this relatioship was simple at the tim.it fitted my schedule at work and he didnt complain too much.
not mention how i didnt want to go back to the dating scene and the lies.
i stayed mainly for the confort of knowing that there is always someone here for me.
but now i want more,i want to be happy,and full of laughter and he cant give that to me anymore.
thank u all
your sis
maryan |
| oemdy | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 12:52 am
like i said let the competition have him uhu...in life you fight for what you want... and s.girls will never learn... they are too proud of that kinda of activity... what does he do for me??? shyte ask you self "what you do for him"... sad woman...
I am glam he didn't marry you yet cos he would have wasted his wealth on a weak person like you... why the hell can't you take the good aspects of western culture like fighting to keep your man despite any difficulty...??
Somali females what are we going to do with you all???
You cry for a guy to give you what you want and look how you want and when he shows first sight on humaness he is out the door...
I think all somali females should consider cloning themself when they reach the itching age to get a partner.... there is noway you women will ever be happy... you are born to cry.....
NO WOMAN NO CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Your tears are flooding the west, while somali is suffering a drought year in year out.....
later |
| Anonymous | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 06:55 am
Dear Maryan,
I raelly don't know whethjer my advice will be useful to you or not but here is what I say.
I was with a boy 2 years and what happen was everything was perfect first year than what happen sedenly everything has been changed,i want to him and talk to him.I said that i didn'n wanted that kind of relationship guess what he said "have you met someone"?and that word it cost me a year,because I really didn't wanted he thinks I was leaving him because I found someone else I just wanted to change the situation.
After two years of realationship (one good year and what bad one)we broke up.
And guess what? we are friends now and I would go out with him now if he asked me so.
What I think you should do it is don't be scared at is your baby go and talk to him,tell him you want to your happiness back.
Best wishes --Ashwaq------------ |
| maryan | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 04:04 pm
emody......i would love to fight for my man and i know 100% i will win.but the question is who do i fight?
a cyber lady lord knows what the hell she is.i dont think so.
i know one thing about my man......that no matter who he meets when i find out she is out the door with no questions asked but what is the point of redoing something over and over.
i have very strong confidence,my looks exceed anyone's expections and most of all i have a good heart.so i dont need to fight for a man,i just give him time and he will come arround.
when two ppl have been together for while they have a bond that can not be broken.
my sister aswaq.......sis i know,we have spoken since i wrote this topic and we decided to start things again,all over.
meaning going out on dates and taking it slow as if we just met.the only problem we have is cummunication and most of all me travelling alot which i plan on reducing soon.
i cant imagine myself with someone else,he knows me very well.and i dont want to meet someone else who has to learn everything about me.(belive there is alot).
not to mention every good memory i have for the last 4 yrs includes him and the way he makes me smile and shiver.he is remarkable
and we make very perfect couple,we are both very tall and light skin ppl with slim shape.
the first day he asked me out he said to me "we will have very beautiful children",i never forgot that for some reason and i think its what made me stay for this long.
anyways i said enough i thing
however i would like to know how to trust again if anyone can help me with that i appericate it.
yours
maryan |
| fatima | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 04:55 pm
TO maryan
how can you said i love the guy and then turn around and say i need to learn who to trust again? sis i know you said he had cheast on you previous and it had to trust again. But my guestion is how can you love someone if you have no trust in them? you said it your self i need to learn who to trust again. But why are still with him? he must been doing something right. |
| amaani | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 05:30 pm
you are not married to him so how can you go to his home and do his laundry are you his wife? is something wrong with this picture or i did not read ? sis i do not know what were you telling each other for 4 long years. but it is natural that he get tired after all these years and nothing is hapening.may alaah help you. and remember the guys will not respect you if you do not hold your head up. do not go to his house phone is ok, but do not do this wively duty. i'm surprised no one thought this is a very weird thing that is came from a muslim girl. |
| hanna | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 03:00 pm
hey maryan
am so sorry to hear about your problem
you say that you are not in love with him
like you use to I think you should tell him
how you feel before you dump him I think you
need to give him a chance to see if the love you
once had is still they I think you both need time to go somewhere and have a very serious talk.
I hope everything works out good luck....... |
| FATIMA | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 03:13 pm
To amaani
i swear i thought about the something you said but i didnot want to be rude to the sister. it so true what you said.she should never went over his house what the point? i can one think of one thing and that is (sex) maryan sis i`m not saying you have sex with him but what the reason of been their i know you guy not only talk right! |
| maryan | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 04:40 pm
amaani and fatima.......sisters when u have been with somone for awhile their house sort of becomes urs.u drive his car for a week he drives urs,he comes to my house,we sort of became one.
just because i went to his house doesnt mean i was doing something (sex) and even if i did that is my business and its not open for discussion.
but just to tell u....there some guys out there who love a woman for who she is.......even if they are not intimate...dont give up yet.
my dear hanna.......i know its kinda weird how u could be crazy about some one and one day u woke up and u realise "waaw,i am not in love",but there is a feeling there.i love him but i am not in love.
i know that sounds crazy but its how i feel.i love him for all the things he did for me,and what we shared for that long.(brotherly love).
and the other part of me doesnt want to let him ago,i always want him in my life.i feel like i cant do much without knowing he will be there to celebrate it with me.
i dont know if anyone can realate to me.....goosh i am even confusing myself.
but i hope it works for the best.
yours
maryan |
| amaani | Thursday, March 15, 2001 - 04:45 am
maryan we are not talking whether the guy will like you or not this simply against the religion. and when you asked for advise and you discussed your personal problems in public you made it our business.do you want me to give you an advise as a muslim sis or a western advise. if you are a muslim we have a red light that we can not cross no matter how long you know someone, you are not supposed to go his house do the laundry,cook and drive save it after the wedding. if you want unislamic advise i think there are thousands who are more exprienced in those things than me. but if he is a somali he wants you as a girlfriend who does the loundry and goes with him to the movies, dinners etc and when it comes to marriage he will go for the one who does not go over other guys houses. simply clean one that he can trust her to be the mother of his children.call me old fashion but that is true. |
| FATIMA | Thursday, March 15, 2001 - 01:14 pm
To amaani
you are very smart sister . dont even waste your time with some girl like maryan.
maryan sis you have to wake up. That guy will used you and loose you! he had cheat on you before what make you think he wont again? i`m sure every good man what a good women. why are you selling you self for less going back to the guy after all that dram. |
