     Anonymous | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 05:17 pm
I'm in a situation where I have to choose between my husband and career. I love both but for different reasons,I love my job because of the money and I love my husband because his my soulmate. My husband and I are newly weds
we got married about a month ago. We both graduated from University.. but the problem is that the field I'm in pays more then my husbands! His upset because I make more money then him. I'm a computer programmer and I make along the lines of 75-80 thousand my husband on the other hand is making 35 thousand. I need help plz give me advice! |
| Honesita | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 05:43 pm
That's why i'm neva marryin' a guy i'm more educated than....!!
Sis......that is a natural thing with all kinds of men......no man likes his woman to be more successful than him........so if u wanna solve ur problem it would be either leave the job or ur husband.........but it would be better if u talk to ur husband and tell him ur job aint comin' between u guys......show him he's more important than the job.......and try to help him get a better job......maybe go back to school and major somethin' that makes him make more money.........!! If he is a university graduate too he should understand that it is normal for his wife to be successful..and make a bit more money than him.....!! I'm just laughin' at this situation girl........i'de divorce my man if i made more money than him....!!lol
Salaam |
| Honesita | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 06:13 pm
LIAR ESL DROP OUT |
| manaxe | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 06:56 pm
honesita,,,waa iga yaabisey,,ha isoo marin,,,,tanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,,,i am really lol ing,,walahi...qosol baan la dhacay, |
| manaxe | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 06:57 pm
who knows,,,she might be just be a new arrival struggling to make ends meet as ceeerta is not enough,,,,looooooooooooooool |
| SAGAL | Monday, March 26, 2001 - 09:04 pm
I SAY YOUR JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE HUSBAND. WE R TALKING ABOUT 80,000 HERE. U WOULD BE STUPID IF U GIVE THAT UP. BESIDES U COULD ALWAYS FIND ANOTHER SOULMATE. YOUR CAREER IS EVERYTHING, THE MAN SHOULD TAKE A NUMBER. |
| Siilmacaan IYO Isku kaadiso | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:05 am
walaahi careerkaaga waxaa u malaynaayaa inaa jidka kashaqeysatay nin walba waa kaa tagi lahaa .walaahi laakiin beeliisimaa tahay 70-80 sharm_uuto qatar ayaa tahay laakiin caadi waaye waaleeska wada shaqeystaa... |
| raxma | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:42 am
u can have all the money in the world and still not b happy but on the other hand u've made a commitmant 2 ur husband that should b valued more then ur annual income, u shouldnt leave ur job, u jus need to let him know how much it means to u 'n' how hard u worked 2 get 2 where u r.Dont give up on either one!!Good Luck luv |
| Jamal | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 09:27 am
Assalamu Alaikum,
Dear sister, tell your husband that he is more important to you than your job. Ensure that you will be with him no matter what and that you do not care how much money that he makes. Help him to go back to school and get a better job if that is what he wants. Have same account, so that money is never an issue. Sis. my best advise is to talk to him about it and insure that he does not have to feel insecure. Never say to the brother that you make more money than him when you are arguing with him for whatever the reasons. |
| SINCERESISTER | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 09:28 am
GO FOR THE MONEY SIS |
| spike | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 10:16 am
buy him SUV and during the night make him believe
he is doing good job...in bed ..
and raise his pocket money.lol
seriously tell the brother to get a better paying job.
Honesita , the beautifull teen ager, i wish i was
ten years younger , i could have gone for u. lol
just joking |
| LEE | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:40 pm
this is really funny lol girls are really funny
let me say this to you all girls first you want
be equal with man and have same rights but it's
you guys who put your selfs down, why if you make
more money than your man think differentlly whille
there are so many man who make more money than there woman that shows that many girls are materialist all they care is money let ask you is money everthing in the world? , so sis think twice money will not buy you happynes, and you could lose you job and then what? i am computer consultant and i make three times more than you and at the sametime i know that is nothing and to you all girls stop thinking so cheap. |
| Amina | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:00 pm
Sisters, i have to agree with bro Lee here.
Money my darlings ain't a thing, how could you honestly put a price on love and a soulmate ? Damn sisters a soulmate is what ya'll spend years searching for and your willing to give him up for some lousy job... just because it pays good!! money does not equal happiness... just more problems 4real.
And have we forgotten our deen, theres a hadiith where the prophet (saw)said that Ur husband is ur hell fire or Ur paradise. I remember listening to a talk by a bro a while back and i never forget this one line... 'it's better to be a badawiyah in jannnah then a doctor in paradise' Now lets put things into perespective. 70g in this world and a 'great' job v a soulmate and eternal paradise.
sis i know what my choice is gonna be, its up to U what u decide.
Best wishes,
Peace and Love |
| Honesita | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:02 pm
Second Honesita.........why dont u get ur own name and leave me alone nayaa.....what a wanna be lax..!!
Manaxe......anigaaaaaaaa..!! Why doubt the girl anyway.....there is no way u could know if she's lyin' or not...!!
Spike....lol....thanx walaalo.....but i'm just lettin' u know that i dont go for guys my age...!!
Jamal......u da only one that is makin' sense so far...!!
Salaam |
| ninxoon | Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:07 pm
my advice is quit your job and be with your man. and stop watching too much black drama. |
| Anonymous | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 12:55 pm
Thanks for all your advice but I must say I was quite disappointed by some of your remarks. However, I have made my decision and that is to stick with my job regardless of what my husband says. I discussed this matter with him and I gave him two options
1) Take me for who I am
Or
2) Take a hike
Being the smart man he is decided to stay and accepted my chose in profession. Honestly speaking, I feel that I worked too hard to get where I am to let it go.
He told me that part of the reason he was angry was because his mother, friends, and family members were ridiculing him.
His mother did not approve of the marriage to begin with because she said we were too young to get married He (Ahmed) is 23 and I am 21 turning 22. |
| Garad | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 01:04 pm
What a bitch!!!!I bet u are in some college having difficulties with da ESL class. Who u think we are when u are trying to convince us that u graduated from a University when u were, let me guess, 19 and this is your first job makin over 75000. Next time, come up something that looks or sounds truth. Don't forget the Somali saying " Hadaad been sheegayso been run u eg sheeg". In addition, it is very rare and seldom to see a 23 yrs old Somali boy who is mature. I am being honest peepz, 23 years old Somali still thinks that he is just a kid where in other cultures 23 yrs old man is a grown up man.
So sistah(if u are one) come with something else. We aint gonna pay this one!!!!!!!!
Respects |
| spike | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 01:07 pm
damn, i thought u said you are a grad. are you telling us at 21 u finish college and making 80,000.00. for your fist job
with out an experience .get real girl |
| Anonymous | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 01:12 pm
Listen fool I was 18 when I entered University so you do the math! I'll be turning 22 in a week since your too dumb to add up I'll help you out...4 years! Another thing I don't have anything to prove to you because you seem like another ignorant Somali! And where do you get off calling my Husband Immature! Oh no you've cross the line now. For your information his Handsome,Smart,and above all else his very mature!
He is my Somali Prince 4 life. So stop stereotyping alright.And i'm pretty sure there's alot of Somali brothers out there who are just like him.
P.S. Just because you didn't go to university or even community college doesn't mean that the rest of us haven't! |
| muna21 | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 01:17 pm
Listen Girl..
If the da dude...has "PHD"...YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN... tell him to take a long hike.
Cuz..if doesn't like WHO YA ARE...he shouldn't be with ya...indeed!!!
In other words..if he wants to make more money...he should find aNOTHER job..or a major..that fliez him SKY HIGH!!
If WAS YA...I wouldn't ask ppl...cuz I know MOI!!
Here are the first things in life...b4 otherz:
* Education
* Status
* Blood Family
* Food
* Shelter
The rest......can be thoughts...or ideas... |
| Anonymous | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 01:55 pm
Dear, it's him that has the problem.
He feels bad that you’re successful and that – his concern -is inflicting his sad ass on you.
Ask yourself, if it where the other way round would there be a problem? I guess the answer is NO!
Then why is it that HE feels his masculinity is affected because YOUR earning more than him?
I would say that if money isn't everything then it should be HE that should NOT worry. In fact he should be supportive and happy in your success, as I’m sure you would be in him. Leaving your job should NOT be an option in an attempt to boost his ego or self esteem. Manhood is not equated through earning power but many other qualities.
Typical bloody man.
Another consideration, what happens if (and I hope for the sake of your marriage it doesn’t) but lets say, if you two where to break up? Not only would you have lost a your marriage but you would have compromised an opportunity that many – both men and women would have loved to have.
Allah has blessed you with this opportunity, recognize that even if he doesn’t! |
