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     | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 04:40 am I read this interesting post on www.hornafrik.com please read it with me and enjoy it A SOMALI MAN’S WISH TO BE A HOUSE WIFE Here is a joke. But before I tell you this joke, let me tell you how it came about. Few weeks ago my roommate and I set on our weekly routine cleaning mission of our 2-bedroom apartment. Yes, “a mission.” Sounds like a heavy-duty, thorny experience. And it’s for a young Somali man who has little or no experience at all in this department (thanks to our mothers who spared us all the trouble of doing domestic work!). Both of us are quite obsessed with cleanliness and arranging things around. My roommate is actually the best Somali male interior decorator I know, and I myself have picked up few techniques from him and from a co-worker who’s a real pro-decorator. As we went through few laps of mobbing, and sweeping the barren kitchen and bathroom floors, dusting off the furniture (in Atlanta dust is always in abundance), scrubbing the sinks and washing the dishes (actually just threw them in the dishwasher), somewhere in the middle of all this, an idea occurred to me. I suddenly stopped everything, looked at my roommate with thick balls of sweat on his face, and said “I wonder how our mothers and many other Somali women were able to do this kind of work on daily basis, and on top of that cooked, and cared for as many as 5, 6, 7, 8 children (and in the case of my friend Deqa’s mother 12 children) cleaned after them, washed their clothes (remember back in Somalia this was done by hand), did the grocery shopping, managed the family budget, paid the bills (that requires strict due dates to keep in mind) and many other chores all by themselves without any complaint? Bewildered, he looked at me and simply said “I don’t know.” See, we live in a small 2-bedroom apartment with not many furniture items, and I find it amusing that there’s always something to be cleaned or done which sometimes takes up quite a bit of time. That’s of course if you’ve done things the proper way!! Both of us wondered how easy we Somali men had it back in Somalia, and how many men did virtually nothing back home - of course some continue not to do much at home or outside even here in North America? A lot of men just ate the food prepared and served on them, dressed in the clothes that were cleaned and ironed for them, hanged around with their friends and clansmen, talked politics, chewed qaat and at the end of the night came home looking for love and respect. Nice life, isn’t. I remember from own my early childhood in Burco at the age of about seven how my teenage cousin was treated like a king at home. My aunt the strongest and most beautiful woman I’ve ever known made us, my two young cousins and I, do everything for this 16-year-old boy. We put the food for him on the table, cleaned after him, ironed his clothes (using one of those old-heavy-metal- manual iron machines you filled with burning coal). And when he was home to rest - the only time he was home - we had to be very quite. All he did was go to school and go out with his friends. Not only that we were so envious of this spoiled guy, but we dreamt of the day when we reached his age and would be treated like him. Of course my aunt’s husband was away in Arabia, otherwise our duties would’ve doubled, since there were no young girls in the house to take on some of our responsibilities. It’s amazing the amount of work that goes into serving and catering to men in our society, and how little many of these men do in life. A teenage Somali-Canadian girl once made a telling comment referring to her step-father’s behaviour at home. She said when my stepfather came home he acts like he is on vacation at some resort. All he did was come home, ate the food that was served on him, watch a little TV - of course CNN and the news, disregarding all of us children’s wish to watch any other programs - then went upstairs to rest. And when he did go to rest we had to stop making any noise, otherwise all hell would be let loose. I’m sure many of us familiar with this picture. Am I against this privilege that’s given to men? Quite frankly I don’t care who got what, but what amazes me is how the work of women is often overlooked, and the few hours men spend working to make a living outside the home is celebrated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to trivialise the work of the many of those who worked long hours and struggled to support their families. Looking back, in Somalia a lot of them did indeed work hard, such as the doobile, harqaanle/dawaarle, biyoole, kabatole, hudheele..etc; ironically all the professions and individuals that most Somalis look down on. Most of the rest were in my opinion engaged in what might be called “masked-afmiishaarnimo-based” employment. In North America, all that’s asked of us men these days is to go work and nothing else, and boom you’re “the man.” A female friend of mine once said “most women these days! are looking for a man with a job only. That’s it.” Interesting! Since when has work to earn a living become a status symbol! No wonder unions between Somali-American men and educated Somali-Canadian women have nowadays become a match made in heaven. We Somali men had it good, and many still have it that way. But we forget that all this is because some other human beings (women) spend over sixteen hours making sure that we and our families have it that way. And please don’t give all that talk about the division of labour between the sexes we often use as an escape to avoid dealing with gender issues. Going back to my encounter with reality check during my cleaning mission, the next day I called my mother in Somalia just to hear her voice, feel the strength and power in her breath, and appreciate her being my mother. Only then I began to understand the meaning of the hadith by Prophet Mohammed when he said: “Heaven is to be found beneath the feet of mothers,” i.e. heaven is that close to a mother. Few days later, a young mother friend of mine gave me the following joke to read. It made me laugh, but it also confirmed my appreciation for women’s, specially mothers, strength and made me reflect on my own inadequacy. Now here is the joke. A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.” God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries. Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, to the laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Then he ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their home work, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for salad, and put out ground beef to defrost for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 6 p.m. his wife came home from work, and he put supper for her on the table, and got into argument with her when she said that she was going to hang out with her girl friends after supper. At 11:30 his wife came back home, he was exhausted and while his daily chores weren’t finished he went to bed where he was expected to make love - which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning he awoke and immediately prayed fair and knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let me trade back.” Allah, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My servant, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night.” Be careful what you wish for. (this opinion is a contribution to the International Women’s Week; comments are welcome. Just send them to jamaa2000@netscape.net) Jama Ibrahim Atlanta, Georgia
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| | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 05:21 am Anonymous Thanks for the foward article,i enjoyed it tremendously! lol By the way, how much is the air ticket to Atlanta? looool Or maybe i should just send him an email first.I mean Jamaa Ibrahim! loool
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| | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 05:44 am lol anony or Jamaac i loved that walaalo  Now that U know what women go through, U can be a little more understanding. I think that mothers should house-train their sons at an early age. Not because i am strifing feminist but because i see so many brothers living away from home who are completely clue-less. I personally don't mind doing the house work, cooking and cleaning (in fact i kinda enjoy a day in the house) BUT women love to be given credit for the work we do. peace and love
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| | Sunday, April 01, 2001 - 11:53 pm Jamaa Ibrahim Wow wow wow Hold up brother.....U cannot just storm in here without no explaination boo...... First question....Where the heck U been all my life? Second question.....Can I start comparing my future kidz surnames with yo name? Whatever the answer.....I AM COMPARING..... Thirdly......Dayum.......U better give some of our brothers some coaching......?Invest a lil time into their unrefined minds..... And since U in a cleaning spree..U may start with my bedroom.....I'll promise to hide all my lace PEACE
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| | Monday, April 02, 2001 - 02:37 am I can move a mountain...yet i dont have the strenth to clean a dirty dish.respect to sisters.
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