     IN NEED OF HELP! | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 02:24 pm
Asalaamu Alaykum fellow muslimiin,
well be4 i start to explain my current problem and ask for ur advise plz know that i have a great deal of respect for my fellow muslim somali brothers.
recently i have been approached by a somali brother proposing for marriage. he has told me that he knows im the right girl for him and will neva give up. i told him to forget it and i have said "NO", loud and clear because i am 18 years old and have plans to further my studies be4 i get myself involved with some1. the problem is he thinks its because i think im not ready, although that is part of the reason that is not the main reason. he said that he would wait for me untill i was ready, but the thing is i will neva be ready for him, for i am interested in some1 else and he in me (although we r not together because i am a religious sista and he a religious brother). the problem is that they are friends, very close friends, neither of the guys know this and i wish to keep it this way for it might cause a conflict between the two freinds. howeva i do belive that the guy who proposed has some sort of idea because he said he wanted to be the first be4 other guys he knows. i luv this brother because he is so repectful and kind but he isnt the one for me. i want him to understand what im saying to him without hurting his feelings, which seems inevitable because sooner or later he will find out about my feelings for his friend.
id like advise from u all because i am relitively inexperienced in this kind of thing because i cant use my religion as an explanation since he isnt proposing something that is haram.
plz no disrespecting, walaahi i am sincere in asking for ur help because i am speecheless, i would ask my freinds but he made me promise i wouldnt discuss this with my freinds and as a muslimah i try my best to keep my promises.
waslaam |
| Glad to help | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 05:00 pm
Asalamu Alaykum
Its indeed a tough spot to be at. The worst thing you could do is hurt the religious brother's feelings. You are a woman and ofcourse you have your preference but unfortunately it had to be the best friend. None of it is your fault its the way allah plans things. Let him down gently tell him that he is a good brother and you don't have feelings for him and it might so happen that he loves someone(you) but allah has put so much khayr in another person for him, tell him it is not your intention to hurt him but you are interested in someone else and he should be patient with allah's decree.....and that you will always be there for him as a friend.
Your sis in Islam |
| Supportive | Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 03:09 pm
There isn't much more to say. The sister right on top my message has given you an advice to really take in.
I'd just like to add, keep in mind that this is the world, nothing comes easy and things always happen to test us.
It is a tough situation but it isn't the toughest situation in the world, don't you know how when something difficult happens in your life, you always think it's probably the worst, and then time passes and things fall in place, the important thing in these trials is to keep your faith and integrity.
Walaal, wish you luck and ease your mind because things are not always as hard as them seem.
:-)
Your brother,
Namelessbecausethisinternetplaceworksonlowtrustculture. :-) |
| EXfile | Sunday, April 01, 2001 - 02:22 pm
IN NEED
OF HELP.
If you were a guy every girl would call you a player.But since you a girl, you can safely get away playing cat and mouse with two friends.You threw a bait for one brother and when he bite ,you said sorry and went for the next brother.What would do when the next brother bite the bait.Hang him may be?
YOU ARE A BIG TIME PLAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!LOL |
| Exfile | Sunday, April 01, 2001 - 02:32 pm
IN NEED OF
DICK{HELP}
When i said player i meant "playette" i.e female version of male player.
As usual and by nature, females always acts victim,when as a matter of fact they are the victimizers. |
| SweeTsis | Sunday, April 01, 2001 - 02:50 pm
IN NEED
OF HELP.
assalam.
the best advise i've heard so far is from Glad TO help.well done.
sis i think if the two brothers were really close friends, by now he would have known that his friend is intrested in u.
anyway i now how u feel, but be patient and talk to him in the best possible manner and tell him that u respect him for allah's sake. tell him u see him as a brother and have other missions to achieve before thinking of marriage and that u don't want to waste his time.
sis goodluck, insha'allah u will succeed. |
