This section is online for reference only. No new content will be added. no deletion either...
Go to Current Forums ...with millions of posts
     | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 11:26 am 1.Don't imagine you can change a man -- unless he's in diapers. 2.What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3.If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them all up there. 4.Never let your man's mind wander-it's too little to be out alone. 5.Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway. 6.Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart 7.Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8.Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 9.Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it. 10.Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11.If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12.The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13.If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. 14.Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. 15.Sadly, all men are created equal. TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN:...... 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have boobs.
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 11:37 am damn girl. very funny...i copy it and sent it to my friends at work. the girls at the office are loving it. i like # ten..but marriage is a real eye-opener. lol
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 11:58 am Hay Muna, one of my friends that i sent your postings , send this back to fight for the rights of men After all those male bashing jokes floating around, someone finally fought back.... How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. > How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? > When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven! > Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at other door, who do you let in first? The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in. All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > A woman that won't do what she's told. What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 12:15 pm lol...spike that was cold. I have to came up it something to fight you back.
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 12:28 pm spike, boy oh boy...you deserve 10""perfect score"" muna, i thought yours was funny ..till my main man spike spoke and let the defence lawyers go to work lollolol to both of you...peace out  p/s. muna i'm wating for your come back
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 01:36 pm Muna......girl the next one betta be betta.....!! Ur post was hellerious.....!! Spike......urs was even funnier man......a man once told me......NOTHING..!! Salaam
|
| | Friday, April 06, 2001 - 02:09 pm Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with. Men-tal Anxiety... Men-opause... Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN? Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women.……. : A women wants one man to satisfy her every need... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mails? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals”. Enjoy....
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:29 am Muna, sis!!! Ilin aa iga daadanoyso!!!!!! U must worke very hard!!!!!! enjoyed...
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:37 am Muna that was sooo funny, keep em comin sis!!!!!!!
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 05:42 am Muna. you fighting with the nails. the guy who said i have tears in my eyes , said it best. You did really got me back. I do not want to start war her, but i will look for another one.... damn girl...which end to wipe. lol
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 06:47 am Hey Spike, There is no war... just sharing humor...and by the way there is more where that came from.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 06:55 am when a guy gives these following things to a girl ..this is what he should expect in return. flowers .............french kiss diner at a fancy french restaurant.........intercourse a diamond ring..........oral a land rover............from the back an island vacation.......she should bring her sister along from my experience at least!
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:36 am Hay muna, check this one out about wife; Tech Support Request Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me? - Jonathan Powell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Jonathan Powell- This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once nstalled. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy rive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running.Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download simular products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0: -Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD -Frequently use Communicator 5.0 -Tech Support
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 11:55 am Spike lol that was good....watch out ....its on now. I have my sleeves roled and on attack mode...from this moment on its full pledge joke war....just kidding. Great work.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:07 pm There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights? Well, after 20years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit? So one night, while they were in the middle of having sex, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband holding a cucumber. She gets completely upset? "You impotent bastard, "she screamed at him,” how could you be lying to me all of these years.? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says,"I’ll explain the cucumber if you can explain our three kids.” ? ? ? ??
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:17 pm looooooooooooooooooool. my oo my.i am laugh so loud, ppl thought i was crazy..very funny. Hay if u do not quit, i have a lot of nasty jokes. i am warning u lol
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:17 pm loooooool@Muna......i must admit girl...u winnin'.....!! Sorry sweet Spike......but she got ya big time...!! From now on pple....married pple.....dont shut da lights off...!! Salaam
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:19 pm Spike I have three words for you "bring it on"...lol. Trust me I have alot of dirty jokes too.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:35 pm I am not sure if i post this one before: TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be asleep 22 times you had a headache 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby 16 times you said you were too sore 12 times it was the wrong time of the month 19 times you had to get up early 9 times you said weren't in the mood 7 times you were sunburned 6 times you were watching the late show 5 times you didn't want to muss your new hair-do 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us 9 times you said your mother would hear us Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished, and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move. I hope some of the ppl in the forums do not get ofended. lol
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:40 pm loooooooooool@spike....people at the office think I lost it, cos I am laughing out loud... must say I am down but not out.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:40 pm loooooooooool@spike....people,loooooooooool@spike....people} at the office think I lost it, cos I am laughing out loud... must say I am down but not out.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:48 pm The Ultimate Female Fantasy A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition. Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.' The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully said......., "Clean my house."
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 12:59 pm that was cold. i was read to challenge the guy. beauty and money....lol hay the people in the forums think we lost it too I have the answer of the wife, would u like it to read it
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:08 pm Munna+Spike.... damn those were hilarious!! Aight here goez ma piece!!>>>> A couple, both aged 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you? "The man said,"Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.When the couple finished, the doctor said,"There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked,"Just exactly are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We are not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married so we can't use my house either. the Holiday Inn charges $90; the Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50 and I get $43 back from Medicare. Mad-Man!
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:14 pm On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in loses it. She stands up in the front of the plane and screams, "I'm too young to die!" Twice more she wails, "I'm too young to die! I'm too young to die!" She shakes and sobs for a just a moment, and then gathers her courage and continues, "Well if I'm going to die I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've HAD IT! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. All the passengers have forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman." He's gorgeous: Tall, well-built, with flowing black hair and dark blue eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Her lips part slightly. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches the trembling woman and extends his arm and holds his shirt out and whispers... "Iron this"
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:15 pm damn.. mad-man. that was funny...it is getting intersting here. lol
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 01:20 pm gadfly...u Chauvinist Pig. i like it. poor muna ,we ganging her up
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 02:44 pm Spike does it feell like we spreading the germ here,lol.... seems to be taking a life of its owm.... I am glad to see people are joining in on it. By the way I would like to hear the wifes answer...go ahead and humor me. The ganging up part I believe I am holding the fort quite well. Are they any ladies who would like to post a joke...we can't let them win.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 02:59 pm LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Guys....You're all hilarious.Keep it up.. THE LAST THING ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY: 1)Her tits are just too big 2)Sometimes I just want to be held 3)That chick on "murder she wrote," gives me a woody. 4)Sure, I love to a wear a condom 5)We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping& I can hold your purse 6)F**k monday night football, Let's watch Ally McCbeal 7)I think We're lost, let's bull over and ask directions THE LAST THING ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY: 1)Could our relationship be more physical?I'm tired of just being friends 2)Go a head, Leave the seat up 3)This diomond is way too big 4)I am wrong, You must be right again 5)What do you mean today's our anniverary? 6)Honey, Does this outfit make my butt look too small? 7)Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather watch T.V.
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 03:12 pm SPIKE, you are funnier than I thought.... I really enjoy your jokes muna, so far you are the funniest lady in somalinet with unanimous vote.... thank you for restoring some humor in somalinet and I enjoyed you and spike jokes marathon.. keep up the good work sister
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 03:37 pm Muna,Spike,and Mad man.... damn those were funny!! check this one out..>>>> NICKNAMES If Muna, Honesita, Basra and Tgirl go out for lunch, they will call each other Muna, Honesita, Basra and Tgirl. If Gaajo, Spike, Mad man and Sweetnatured go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Gaajo, Spike, Mad man and Sweetnatured will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Gaajo
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 03:49 pm Okay, this is the first time I've seen a blonde joke about a guy, so I had to pass it along... An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too. The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too." Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The blond opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also. At the funeral The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He makes his own lunch."
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 05:29 pm HERE's MORE: Why do men like love at first sight? >It saves them alot of time. What should you give a man who has everything? >A woman to show him how to work it. >Pencilin Why don't men have mid-life crisis? >They stay stuck in adolescence Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? >For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intentions of driving. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? >Just when it's getting intresting, the're finished until next time. How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A)One> men will screw anything B)One> men will screw up anything c)Five>One to do the screwing and four to listen to him brag about it.. What's a men's idea of doing housework? >Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. Why is it hard to Find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? >Because these men already have Boyfriends... (These are just chokes...So don't take it personal)
|
| | Monday, April 09, 2001 - 05:37 pm Freudian Slip Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day." The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?" "You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'to Pickets to Tittsburgh." he second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 08:41 am MUNA AND SPIKE THANKS FOR STARTING THIS PAGE. MAN THOSE JOKES ARE GOOD. SPIKE SHE IS KICKING YOUR ASS BRO...LOL.
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:08 am This is a list of rules that men wished women knew... 1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. 2. we care less if you cut your hair. . Don't make us guess. . If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. . Sometimes, we r not thinking about you. Live with it. . we r never thinking about "The Relationship." . Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. . Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time. . Anything you wear is fine. Really. . Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. . Your brother is an idiot. . Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. . No, we dont know what day it is. we never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 18. Share the bathroom 19. Share the closet. . Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. . A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. . Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning. . Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. . Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. . If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. . Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. . Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. . If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. . Let us look. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? . Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. . You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. . Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. . Don't make 50 rules when 36 will do. i hope you ladies like it and understand it and for our sake live it. lol
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:26 am A middle aged woman.. A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live". Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation, and while crossing the street was struck down by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?" God answered, "I didn't recognize you."
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:27 am All, When I thought of spike, I couldn't resist and had to share. Which one is your dance. Enjoy! http://home.earthlink.net/~zefrank/invite/swfs/navigation.html
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:48 am LOL@MUNA LOOOOOOL HELLA FUNNY
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:50 am SOLO, BUT WITH COMPANY A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 09:56 am VERY FUNNY GIRL..OK. THIS IS THE RESPONSE OF THE WIFE. TO MY DEAR HUSBAND: I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons youdidn't get more than you did: 5 times you came home drunk and tried to fuc*k the cat 36 times you did not come home at all 21 times you didn't cum 33 times you came too soon 19 times you went soft before you got in 38 times you worked too late 10 times you got cramps in your toes 29 times you had to get up early to play golf 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because you missed and were fucking the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was ,"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 10:14 am Any whore whose door sports a red light Knows a prick when she sees one, all right. She can tell by a glance At the drape of men's pants If they're worth taking on for the night ------------------------------------------------ Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one. -------------------------------------------------- A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussyy look like?" Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?" Son, "Well, before?" Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son." Son, "well what about after?" Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!" ------------------------------------------------ Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't: 1. Bleed for a week and not die. 2. Give milk without eating grass 3. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog! -------------------------------------------------- Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls. Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed. Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?" -------------------------------------------------- A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?" The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster." -------------------------------------------------- It Hurts I'm sure you can't imagine it's as simple as can be the place is very private the players are he and she She whispers softly it will hurt of course not he replied It's just a simple proscess lay back and close your eyes She say's I'm rather frightned I've never done this before He wanted to continue it won't hurt much more It's getting rather painfull as tears come to her eyes it's hurting something awful it must be quite a size Calm yourself my darling the pleasure refolds your sin Now open slightly so I can fit more in Suddenly with a jerk she gave a shout Now that it's all over with He slowly pulled it out *Now if you read this carefully you will find it's not what you think it's just your dirty mind It is just a visit to the dentist!!!
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 10:22 am LOL....@SPIKE....that was great I enjoyed it. But I am saving the best for later. Anyway what did you think of the dance? Here is more.. A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant. In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. " The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?" "That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 12:59 pm the dance was great. hay i am hella better dancer than that..ok this the one i would get in trouble: http://www.geocities.com/osman672/theflame.avi
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 03:15 pm Spike I don't get it.
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 03:31 pm What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business. Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any. How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving! What do you do if your bank account stops working? Divorce him. What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60? Four guys watching a football game. Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. Can you imagine a world without men ? No crime and lots of happy fat women. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. Man: Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? Woman: Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind. all brothers no hard feelings...
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 03:35 pm Geography of a woman Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild. Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect. Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan. Very hot, wise and beautiful Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable. Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany. She lost the war but not the hope. Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia. Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England. With a glorious past but no future. After 70, they become Siberia. Everyone knows where it is, but no one want to go there. This is to make up for the other one 
|
| | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 04:14 pm 9 rounds to nearest 10 so i guess i'm AMERICAAAAAAAA...lol....!! Spike....ur page aint workin' sweetie.....Muna beat ya...lol..!! Salaam
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 07:26 am sorry guys the lost the link of the page i put up. check this out muna. A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket=97If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver=92s license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), =93If you don=92t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, How much for a ride to the airport, he asked? Fifteen bucks, came the reply. And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?What???! Get the hell out of my cab!! The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When hegot to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked,How much for a ride to the airport? The cabbie replied, Fifteen bucks. The businessman said,OK, and off they went. Then, as they drove past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 08:30 am Good one spike....looks like we are on marathon of jokes.... Gogarad...I like the first one....but did you have to reveal all our secrets...lol. Great joke, thanks. Now Spike check this out... A Mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?" The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it when the engine is running." >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one in the middle. “That’s amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her."
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 09:14 am Honesita. no you are still in africa. do't rush. africa is good you know.hay men like girls to stay in africa, if you know what I mean. lol muna this page is getting too long may be we start a new one,... I admit, i gave you this page,...but it would't be easy to beat me one the next one. lol
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:16 pm Spike Its your call bro..."build it and I shall come"...lol....I will take that page too. That is a promise, now the question is will you raise to the challenge?
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:17 pm LOL@ Muna and Spike and the rest. those were hillarious! keep it up guys, Muna is a 9/10, spike ,you are lagging behind a bit walaal.....you still getta chance.....
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:19 pm Let me couple of jokes here..... A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?What's wrong???" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman says, "A hermaphrodite... what's that???" The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the . . . er . . . features . . . of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis . . . AND a brain?"
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:25 pm This is just a joke and of coarse NOT true One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God."Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Well ... you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring . . . So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret . . . You know, . . . woman to woman." Istaqfurullah!
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:35 pm Istaqfurullah...Istaqfurullah..Istaqfurullah i was about to say bad word. do't make me go there. funny though. i like the brain one. and i have the other one.
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:39 pm check this one pllz ... A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife doesn't want to have sex with him for the last 7 months. The doc tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctor's office and the doctor asks her what's wrong and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore. The wife tells him, "For the last 7 months every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. "When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'. "Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. "So you see, doc, when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more." The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:57 pm Muna Girl..............Word up LOL@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Spike ya...kind of funny..lol
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:11 pm Libin, That was absolutely funny! Now you ladies know us why we're fuzy, because your god woman created us that way!!! Spike, You rock bro, and I think my association of you with Ninxoon was out of place. Appologies! Muna, Keep us enlightened.
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:18 pm Sagittarius my God, i missed that. when did you associate me with ninxoon.That was low man... ok. Apology accepted. lol
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:23 pm Sagittarius have you had a somali cock up in your ass!!!! punk, leave my name out of your filthy mouth , punk ass motha fucka........
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:28 pm SPIKE, don't diss my brother(ninxoon) like that.. nothing is wrong with him.... may be he was insulted too..by assosiating with you...so..chil out bro..
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:36 pm To all the men who think they bad.....well it is better to be a woman than a man.....WHY..CHECK 1.We got off the Titanic first. 2.Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. 3.Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4.Taxis stop for us. 5.Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 6.Free drinks, free dinners. 7.We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay. 8.If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. 9.We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 10.If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 11.If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 12.We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 13.If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 14.We'll never regret piercing our ears. 15.We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra. 16.We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:38 pm Sagittarius, thanx bro.Let me give How Miser Adam is... Adam's Price: So...after Adam was created, there he was in the Garden of Eden. Of course it wasn't good for him to be all by himself, so the Lord came down to visit. "Adam," He said, "I have a plan to make you much, much happier. I'm going to give you a companion, someone who will fulfill your every need and desire. Someone who will be faithful, loving, and obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life." Adam was stunned. "That's sounds incredible!" "Well, it is," replied the Lord. "But it doesn't come for free. In fact, this is someone so special that it's going to cost you an arm and a leg." "That's a pretty high price to pay," said Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:40 pm To Ninxoon..... I wonder what ever happened to that ESSAY of mine about your search...since ya been missin' in action....did ya cut it or the damn somalinet cut it!!!!remeber muna...not the one who created this topic but Muna or Muna21...who covered your search
|
| | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 05:21 pm sabax yep, I'm here guess where they found me though? inside your kinter less contaminated puss_y , bithc
|
| | Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 10:48 pm can we all get along??? and have a decent conversation for a change?? lets stop ur mama and ur daddy crab ppl....come on If U feel like dissing some one..there is a lot of topics for that so PLEASE lets not ruin the few good topics that left
|
| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 03:32 pm To Ninxoon Fag...I thought ya waz...gay man.....since when ya like femalez.
|
| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 03:49 pm Just checkout how protective shemale Jaylani is over her mate ninxoon... i think Jaylani and ninxoon conspired together to get ride of MrSNinxoon i'll forward my suspision on to the Somalian Iteligent Agency [S.I.N]! 
|