     Lady Khalilfa | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 07:19 am
"" In a nomadic culture like the one I was raised in, there is no place for an unmarried woman, so mothers feel it is their duty to ensure their daughters have the best possible opportunity to get a husband.
And since the prevailing wisdom in Somalia is that there are bad things between a girl's legs, a woman is considered dirty, oversexed and unmarriageable unless those parts-the clitoris, the labia minora, and most of the labia majora-are removed. Then the wound is stitched shut, leaving only a small opening and a scar where the genitals had been-a practice called infibulation.
Paying the gypsy woman for this circumcision is one of the greatest expenses a household will undergo, but is considered a good investment. Without it the daughters will not make it onto the marriage market.
The actual details of the ritual cutting are never explained to the girls-it's a mystery. You just know that something special is going to happen when your time comes. As a result, all young girls in Somalia anxiously await the ceremony that will mark their becoming a woman. Originally the process occurred when the girls reached puberty, but through time it has been performed on younger and younger girls.
One evening when I was about five, my mother said to me, "Your father ran into the gypsy woman. She should be here any day now."
The night before my circumcision, the family made a special fuss over me and I got extra food at dinner. Mama told me not to drink too much water or milk. I lay awake with excitement, until suddenly she was standing over me, motioning. The sky was still dark. I grabbed my little blanket and sleepily stumbled along after her.
We walked out into the brush. "We'll wait here," Mama said, and we sat on the cold ground. The day was growing lighter; soon I heard the click-click of the gypsy woman's sandals. Then, without my seeing her approach, she was right beside me.
"Sit over there." She motioned toward a flat rock. There was no conversation. She was strictly business.
Mama positioned me on the rock. She sat behind me and pulled my head against her chest, her legs straddling my body. I circled my arms around her thighs. She placed a piece of root from an old tree between my teeth.
"Bite on this."
I was frozen with fear. "This is going to hurt!" I mumbled over the root. Mama leaned over and whispered, "Try to be a good girl, baby. Be brave for Mama, and it'll go fast."
I peered between my legs and saw the gypsy. The old woman looked at me sternly, a dead look in her eyes, then foraged through an old carpetbag. She reached inside with her long fingers and fished out a broken razor blade. I saw dried blood on the jagged edge. She spit on it and wiped it on her dress. While she was scrubbing, my world went dark as Mama tied a blindfold over my eyes.
The next thing I felt was my flesh being cut away. I heard the blade sawing back and forth through my skin. The feeling was indescribable. I didn't move, telling myself the more I did, the longer the torture would take. Unfortunately, my legs began to quiver and shake uncontrollably of their own accord, and I prayed, Please, God, let it be over quickly. Soon it was, because I passed out.
When I woke up, my blindfold was off and I saw the gypsy woman had piled a stack of thorns from an acacia tree next to her. She used these to puncture holes in my skin, then poked a strong white thread through the holes to sew me up. My legs were completely numb, but the pain between them was so intense that I wished I would die.
My memory ends at that instant, until I opened my eyes and the woman was gone. My legs had been tied together with strips of cloth binding me from my ankles to my hips so I couldn't move. I turned my head toward the rock; it was drenched with blood as if an animal had been slaughtered there. Pieces of my flesh lay on top, drying in the sun.
Waves of heat beat down on my face, until my mother and older sister, Aman, dragged me into the shade of a bush while they finished making a shelter for me. This was the tradition; a little hut was prepared under a tree, where I would rest and recuperate alone for the next few weeks.
After hours of waiting, I was dying to relieve myself. I called my sister, who rolled me over on my side and scooped out a little hole in the sand. "Go ahead," she said.
The first drop stung as if my skin were being eaten by acid. After the gypsy sewed me up, the only opening left for urine-and later for menstrual blood-was a minuscule hole the diameter of a matchstick.
As the days dragged on and I lay in my hut, I became infected and ran a high fever. I faded in and out of consciousness. Mama brought me food and water for the next two weeks.
Lying there alone with my legs still tied, I could do nothing but wonder, Why? What was it all for? At that age I didn't understand anything about sex. All I knew was that I had been butchered with my mother's permission.
I suffered as a result of my circumcision, but I was lucky. Many girls die from bleeding to death, shock, infection or tetanus. Considering the conditions in which the procedure is performed, it's surprising that any of us survive. "" |
| SweetNatured | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 08:44 am
LadyKhalifa,
Thanks for sharing with us the agony and the pain you went through if this is your own thoughts and memories about FGM. This barbaric act should end. I know that we lost millions of our people as the result of the civil war. But then I tell myself that we inflicted these wounds on ourselves. Perpetuators were among us, with us, and from us. My point here is that FGC is done to an innocent and defenseless young girls. Sister, I would have to admit that tears came to eyes as I was reading this posting of yours despite the fact that I would have never been known to be that emotional. I think it is about time we act. And please remember one thing, your mother thought that she was doing something that is right and religious. She wasn’t in her mind trying to do any damage on you.
I, for one, have two young sisters who still remain back home. Both of them are at circumcising age. We, many times, tried to bring them over here but somehow Mom insists that she would rather have them with her. She says that they would be spoiled if they come her that young age. And about the FGC, I have spoken to Mom about it many times as my brothers and sister have done. She assured us that she is no planning to do that. But I still have my doubts about this. My plan now is to travel back home and share my ideas about this with Mom in person. Too many of our people still believe that, especially back home, it is necessary to circumcise girls. Some would tell you that it is ok to do it partially. I strongly believe that girls should be left alone. I don’t even believe when some so-called religious experts say that it is “Sunna” to have it done moderately.
And for those brothers/sisters out there, this is very serious issue that need our attention. I remember one day I was talking to this girl, a friend of mine, whose aunt was planning to go back home with a daughter of hers. It came to me that she was bringing the girl with her so that she will be able to circumcise once she gets back home. I told this friend of mine why she is not doing anything about this to stop this and her response was something to the nature, if it has been done on me, I don’t care anyone else. This is ridiculous. As humans and Muslims we have to do whatever we can to help others. Plus, this is about our young girls. Remember that if you save a young innocent girl from this atrocious action as a result of your action, you will get your reward in the judgment day. In our religion it is absolutely wrong to do this on girls.
Respects
SweetNatured |
| Xoogsade | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 12:51 pm
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn |
| Mr | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 01:05 pm
Assalaamu Alaikum,
Dear Lady Khalilfa and SweetNatured, your truama stemmed from one of the many flaws of our culture. Nevertheless we cannot judge the past on the present day situations. The only thing we can do is to prevent this practice and educate our people of the many counterproductive tenants of our culture.
To my dear friend Xoogsade I wish you could show a little more appreciation for the content of this thread.
Wasssalam Wabilaahi Towfiiq |
| spike | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 01:31 pm
waw Lady Khalilfa .this is shocking. i am not a serious man, and i always say things will take care of themselves. but this is something that needs attention.i never heard the story like this and i was told thay do it in hospitals these days with anatisia.but still it is a horrible thing.
i printed this postings and i will share it with my fellow friends and family. |
| Lady Khalifa | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 01:32 pm
TO Sweetnatured & MR:
I thank you for your input, but thank god, i have been spared the misery and have not gone through such barbarism myself. This is infact the story of Waris Dire. I have posted this topic because I know of many people, specically a cousin, who have to live through such pain and humiliation each and every day of their lives, for there is no cure.
TO Xoogsade:
perhaps you will still be yawning when you are castrated-for this is what FGM is. If you have nothing to contribute its best you keep to yourself. |
| Lady Khalifa | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 01:40 pm
p.s. Spike,sorry, i didn't see your posting. There are cases where rocks and blunt utensils have been used for the procedure. and YES, please do share. I'm not sure if any of you are aware of this, but there are mounting cases of FGM here in the US-parents send their daughters on "vacation" in africa and these girls come back castrated. |
| FIRE-MAN | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 01:49 pm
OW MY GOOOOOOD,,,KHALIFA,,,,THAT WAS,,,NASTY ,,REAL NASTY,,,WALAAHI,,I FEEL KIND OF SICK,,,4 REAL,,I WAS CHEWIN GUM,,NOW I HAD 2 SPIT IT OUT,,,,WALAAHI I FEEL 4 U ,,TRUS,,,,,
,,1 THING I GOTTA SAY,,IS THANK GOD,,MARKA,,BOYZ LA,XALAA-LEYNAYO,,,IS NOT THAT PAINFUL,,, |
| Anonymous | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 02:54 pm
truly shocking. |
| Xoogsade | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 03:30 pm
Sorry ladies and gents but I can't help but be bored by this topic of the so-called FGM.
There is no credibility here. I mean come on if you are talking about the unhygienic instruments, I had my circumcision done with a blunt, rusty blade in the bush by a half-blind old guy and I was running about a day or two later, hale and hearty. And you know what, the same guy cut out my tonsils some time later, probably with the same instrument!!!! Do you see anybody saying this as some kind of conspiracy against boys. No, of course not because that is just the level of care available in the bush. If a girl was lucky enough to live in a big city then she will get clean and sterile procedure with plenty of benefits as far as hygiene and containment of appetites! The same goes for her lucky brother. But if like me you were in the countryside, then you you get the rusty old blade, boy and girl. But that is just one of the hardships of country living you know. Bunch of pampered nitwits like you can't know anything about that can you?
So forget the feminazi bullcrap and stop wearying your menfolk with this unending, self-pitying whining. |
| LiBiN | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 04:25 pm
Xoogsade,
i knew from your ways of writing that you were from Country!anyway you know they say "first impression is the last impression" ,I am referring to your contribution to "what the white said to me" article.
About the topic,its not only stating how circumcision is being carried out in bush but also it shows how it scars women`s lives!
yeah boys do go thru a bit of that kinda problem in country life(like you said rusty blades and all) but they dont even feel/get a quarter what girls go thru.Boyz dont get....
1)they dont get their scrotum and testes(or part of them) removed,
2)they dont get they remaining get stitched together with dirty poisonous thorns,
3)they dont get their legs tight up together for more than God know how many months...
4)they dont get burned and flared with urine flow every day
5)they dont get to sit on hole dug in and filled with burning woods to that wound can get healed(even though it worsens the condition).
6)they dont go thru the pain of mentruation every month coz there isnt enough space for it!
7)they dont go thru the pain of sex after one gets married and coz of that sex becomes undesirable fo many women!
8)they dont go thru pain of delivery when doctors have to cut 3 places(episiotomy) coz there isnt enough space for the baby`s hand let alone the head that comes thru first(most of the time)!
in rural Somalia ,lots of women as they cant get proper care as they arent any trained doctors or nurses and equipments!even though it is all over somalia now
9)and lets not forget continuous infections they get every month of their lives!
this is nothing to do with being feminist,this is a problem Somali women faced and still having.
We are trying to stop so the lives of our daughters will be saved!
PS: I dont think that guy cut your tonsils,he cut your uvula!!
thats what Somalis used to cut thinking it is bad piece hanging down your throat and might suffocate one! but they were/are 100% wrong! |
| Anon | Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 06:14 pm
Why are people so fascinated with discussing gentalia? And has it become hip to announce that one didn't experience the FGM, first it was Honesista elswhere and now Lady Khalifa, who is gonna be next to announce on the net the status of their kintir???? ceeeb! |
| Gent-Khalifa | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:55 am
HUH! WHAT A DEADLY PROCEDURE!
WELL I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW SENSITIVE THE MALE ORGAN IS! IMAGINE AT THE AGE OF 5 I TOOK 6 INJECTIONS RIGHT IN THE PENIS WHILE I WAS LOOKING AT IT. THAT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE THE PAIN AWAY IT JUST MADE IT SWOLLEN.
I WAS UNFORTUNATE TO GET 2STUDENTS PERFORMING THEIR FIRST SHAVE EVER. DAMN IT WAS NOT AS HORIFIC AS lady's EXPERIENCE BUT IMAGINE A TUG AT YOUR FORE SKIN AND THEN SNIP, ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU A BALD D1CK.
THEN LUCKILY THE PAIN KILLERS KICKED IN FOR THE NEXT 2HOURS, THE REAL PAIN BEGAN WHEN THE CHEMICAL WORE OFF.
THE MALE VERSION IS FOR HEALTH REASONS BUT THE FEMALE VERSION IS TOTALY WITHOUT CAUSE, BECAUSE THEY STILL GOT THEIR ANAL, WAH YOU GONA CLOSE THAT TOO?
THE MOTHERS ARE THE BLAME THE FATHERS NEVER GET INVOLVED IN THE MATTER, THE MOTHERS ARE TOTALY RESPOSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS AT HOME. MEN GOT NO SAY IN THE MATTER. BUT I SUPPOSE THEY SHOULD MAKE A STAND AND STOP BEING WIMPS.
SOMEBODY NEED TO INFORM THE PRE-HISTORIC MINDED WOMEN ABOUT ORAL... |
| Mohamed | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 04:03 am
I AM NOT MARRYING OR HAVING SEX WITH ANY SOMALI WOMAN. I NEVER HAVE AND AFTER READING THIS, I NEVER WILL.
Lady Khalifa, Thanks for sharing your pain. I would like to apologise for the cruel barbaric practice. It is a sick and diseased practice. Now I can never look at a Somali woman the same way.
Xoogsade, get circumised as a boy is nothing compared to a woman. AN EQUIVALENT would be for someone to cut off the "snake' and the twins and sew you up.
A Shocked Somali Male,
Mohamed. |
| Honesita | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 07:41 am
Ala ba ayeeeeeeey.....what is ur problem Anon....when da hell did i complain about my sh!t nacas yahow.......!!! For ur nasty information Lady Khalifa did not talk about her experience aight......she copied that from Waris Dirie's book just to inform ignorant pple like ur sorry selves...u and xoogsade of course...!!!
Salaam |
| Anonymous | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 07:55 am
mohamed i feel u dawg..i go story fo u, i remember the first i got together wit a somali girl, she was virgin, but i wasnt. she was excited n all, but when i found out how tight that •••• was, i thought i was hittin a brick wall. plus every attempt i made, ended in painful cries of hers, man did i ever feel sorry for that girl, she is beautiful but her family fucked her up on da real. so anyways i remember goin home da night with blue balls.
fo real, this •••• needs to end |
| Lady Khalifa | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 11:40 am
to Mohamed: I did not post this topic to ward off men from marrying somali women you idiot.You should not run but help your somali sisters.
to xoogsade: like libin said once you've been castrated, you may come and declare your boredom. |
| spike | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:27 pm
Xoogsade . you miss the whole point my brother.
the main problem is not the tools used .It is the whole process of mutilation done to the girls.
we do not cercumstise our girls we mutilate them.
we cut them, stich them and the cut them again.
Do you know when a girl gets married, at her wedding and honeymoon, she is nursing a wound, stead of enjoying sex with her husband.
I just do not see a good reason for some to suffer all that. and do't tell me it is because of religon. i know it is not the islamic way.
the point is whether it is done in a hospital or the country, it is not right nor it is fair to abuse kids like that |
| Amina | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 12:44 pm
lady khaliifah,
nice piece sistah. i feel ya girl. though i never knew that sisters go through so much pain. U know some sisters actually wanted it to be done back in the days. wallahi i have vague memories of some of my older cousins begging 2 be circumcised when i was back home.
I suppose it has a lot to do with the attitudes of society towards FGM... if anything needs to be done is to educate the people of somalia about it and it's postion in islam.... but then it's not being practiced as much now (as far as i know).
mohamed n anonymous. U are two of the most heartless fools, i've came across Trust me, if i know somali women, they don't need pathetic little boys like U.
Get with the programm children, its not about You this TIME. It's about reality, a problem that actually exists.. U can at least show a little consideration for the sisters or say nothing at all. Just safe us from detials of horney little fantasis.
peace n love |
| Xoogsade | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:52 pm
Lady Khilaaf and Libin:
Cut the crap because this operation is nothing more than snipping and shaving some redundant pieces of flesh. Somali women have been doing this shitt to each other for ages and it never seems to have hurt their fertility or fecundity. Every Somali woman produces more kids than would an entire village of white women . And as for sex, well fgm doesn't seem to have dampened Waris the Whore's sexual ardour because she is one big ......
Anyways I just think it is unseemly for you guys to be pimping your naughty bits everywhere and please get over this victimhood culture. Whatever happened to xishood. Now there is a concept. |
| SomeDude | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 02:19 pm
Lady Khalifa,
You mention your source before-- not after people felt sorry for you.
All ladies;
I got one question for all the ladies out there;
If circumized somali women are problem when they having sex, then how come they handle the big monster dicks of jamaicans/afro-amreicans?. In other words, how come waris diiriye is enjoying the big dick of her afro-american man ?.
Or is it she couldn't get somali dude?.
What a contradiction!!
Another question is: why somali women enjoy telling the world how they mutialated inside?. |
| DEAD END | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 02:38 pm
I'M GLAD THEY STITCHED ALL THESE SOMALI WOMEN..
IMAGINE IF THEY WERE NOT...
SOMALI PUSS*Y WOULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST CHEAPEST
THING IN THE WESTREN SOCITIES..CHEAPER THAN
A FLE-MARKET YOYO.....AND THANKS TO ALL OF THEIR
PARENTS FOR DOING THAT....
I HAVE 2 YOUNG DOUGHTERS...AND YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT..THEY ARE STITCHED ALL THE WAY.
SO DON'T TELL ME IT'S WRONG...YOUR MOM HAD IT
YOUR GRANDMA HAD IT...AND I HOPE YOU HAD IT 2 |
| LiBiN | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 04:10 pm
Xoogsade and Dead end,
This is a Verse in Surah At-Taubah(97):
""The bedouins are the worst in disbelief and hypocrisy, and more likely to be in ignorance of the limits(Allah`s Commandments and His legal laws) which Allah has revealed to His Messenger(PBUH), and Allah is All-Knower,All-Wise.""
whatever you both wrote shows your Ignorance.
Xoogsade,
it doesnt seem to hurt their fertility or fecundity,True, coz they still have their Uteruses and ovaries!!its part of their external genitalias that are cut not the internals.
and for Sex, whoever said it stops or prevents sex?? it is wrong assumptions Somalis have.
And for waris,None of us witnessed whatever you are calling her...remember how hard Allah made to make Sinna judgement....
you said whatever happened to "Xishood" ??
i say "look who is talking" of "Xishood" ?!
Dead end,
Stitching doesnt stop anything,It is the bringing and one`s Adaab and respect for herself.
In Arab world(esp gulf countries and Pakistan) no girl gets circumcised and they(Most) are clean and dont get into pre-marital ....
for your daughters,well they are unfortunate to have you as a Father for one thing
Rasuulullaah(PBUH) said: anyone who has 2 daughters and brings them up in proper Islamic way(which includes Adaab and everything...)
Messenger(PBUH) said that person(parent) and I are in the same level going to Jannah!!
and if you think just coz our mothers and grandmothers had it so every girl should have it,
Bro thats your "Jaahiliya" talking.culture and trdition inherited from forefathers, which are wrong, should be discarded immediately!!
If not you should start worshipping the "sun" as Somalis used to do B4 Islam reached.I really doubt how much you really know somalis` past and cultures!
PS:Unless you have guilty conscious of your past, you wouldve trust in your daughters!! |
| LiBiN | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 04:44 pm
Gent-khalife,
you cant just blame the mothers just like how We cant blame civil war and its problem in Somalia on Men only(Somali women did take their share even its less) !!
Men(including fathers) have their share of blame.one of the main reasons circumcision survived till today is because of believing uncirumcised ones are dirty and no man will marry! and believe even today when there is alot of war against circumcision, some somali believe that old notion!!women carried out the act even though there were some men doing it in mogadisho.
Mohamed,
bro its your choice who you want to marry(somali or non-somali, cirumcised or not).and there are many uncircumcised Somali women all around the world.
one thing No one likes to be judged for their size or shape and that goes to Men and women.
SomeDude,
your 1st Questions should be sent and addressed to Waris Diiriye and whoever else dates those type! look her phone number in the yellow page!
2nd Q: It is our typical way, we seem to be impotent how to solve our own problems.we always end up foriegners knowing our deep dirts and pain and expect them to solve for us just like problems in Somalia. bro blame the Somali gene! |
| Sagittarius | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 04:47 pm
Xoogsade, Somedude, and Deadend:
What a bunch of ruthless vampires are you! How can you be so insensible, and at least not show some concern to the subject of the matter? However, as incredulous as your responses have been, it only highlighted why Somali women are just repugnant of your totality and shameless justifications.
Matter of fact, you're just worried about if only woman should conceive a bunch of vampires like you, or would have sex with your kind, when in fact you're just predators nothing more, perhaps when you're just a little bit like normal human beings, then we should consider your comments. |
| anon | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 04:52 pm
Honesista, it was in another folder that you responded to someone that you didn't have this thing done to you! and read well above, lady khaliif is saying the same here, i.e that she didn't experience this thing. So you two have your thing in tact.......that is lovely and kudos to your family. But it is ceeb to post such information in public forumss!
To all the ladies, have class, don't discuss your private parts in public. |
| Governo | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 05:05 pm
Lady-Khalilfa
I am sorry that happen to you ,and all the Young ladys who suffered this horrible practice I do have sisters older than me but I never knew what they been through .. I will promise if almighty Allah give me baby girl it will never happen to my child...I don't know why the mothers who experienced these cruel butchery continued to their daughters.....I am sorry and it should be stop. |
| Lady Khalifa | Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 05:38 pm
this, thank god, was not my experience (i thought I had made it clear with the quotation marks.) But I must say I have seen the kind of pain my cousins have gone through. On the subject of the popularity of FGM, I'm not sure if this is correct, but one source states that 80% of women in somalia undergo this procedure-I'm not 100% sure though. Anyway, as indecent as this topic may seem it is a horrible truth. |
| KissMe | Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 12:27 am
*************************************************
****************NEWS FLASH***********************
*************************************************
WHEN A MAN HAS THE OPERATION TO BECOME A WOMEN . THE SHEMALE IS CUT AND THEN REDESIGNED IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT IS PRACTICALY IMPOSIBLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOME SHEMALES AND REAL WOMEN! THERE IS HOWEVER SCARS THAT ARE VISIBLE SMALL BUT VISIBLE THESE SCARS CAN LOOK JUST LIKE THE SCARS THAT ARE LEFT BEHIND WHEN A WOMEN IN RE-OPEND AT HER HONEYMOON!
IT IS SHOCKING TO IMAGING THAT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR WIFE AND A SHEMALE IS THAT SHE CAN HAVE CHILDREN. THERE ARE ALSO THE CHILDREN BORN WITH BOTH ORGAN[HOMAPHRADITES] THESE CHILDREN'S PARENTS MAKE THE DECISION TO AS TO WHAT SEX THEIR CHILD SHOULD ENDUP... THE OPERATION ONCE AGIAN LEAVE SIMILAR SCARS TO FGM, THEY TOO CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN SOMETIMES OR REQUIRE HEAVY HORMONE REPLACEMENTS!
I AM SORRY BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE FACED WITH THE ISSUE TO SEEING SCARS NO NO NOWAY I DON'T NEED THAT SHYTE, THERE IS ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH IN LIFE. IT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY NOR IS IT MY PROBLEM! THERE ARE A LOT OF FEMALES THAT HAVE NOT BEEN OPERATED ON AND JUST RECIEVED THEIR SUNNA, WHICH IS NOTHING MORE THEN BEING MADE TO BLEED A LITTLE BIT. I'LL SPECIFICALLY REFUSE TO BE WITH A WOMAN THAT HAS ANY SCARS.
I AM NOT AN IDIOT AND I CAN DEFFINATELY TELL IF THERE HAS BEEN ANY ENTERY,NOT THAT IT IS MY BUSINESS ANYHOW. THE DAY I MARRY HER AND SHE COMMITS TO ME, THAT DAY SHE WILL HAVE TO KEEP HERSELF TO ME ALONE.
MY GOODNESS I CAN'T SEE WHY WE SOMALI MEN ARE BEING SOO MISTREATED BY THE SISTERS WHEN IT IS US THAT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THE PAINS CAUSED BY EVERYONE ESLE???
I CAN'T SEE THE SISTERS THE SAME WAY AFTER THIS STUPID POSTING...
HEY TAKE A ROSE AND CUT OFF ALL THE PETALS AND THEN TELL ME IT IS AS BEAUTIFULL AS BEFORE...!
ACCORDING TO THE SUNNA IF WE ALL FOLLOWED OUR DEEN, I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE FOUR PETALLESS FLOWERS AND I THINK THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO JUSTIFY THIS MATTER! I MEAN I CAN'T BLAME THESE VICTIMS OF THEIR MOTHERS...
THE SAME MOTHERS WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THE LIFE OF A PROSPECTIVE HUSBAND IMPOSIBLE! I SAY I JUST LOWERED MY MAXIMUM DOWRY TO 9CARROT GOLD RING! CUT THE WEDDING OUT COS THE DOCTER IS ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO IS OPENING YOU MOST LIKELY!!! YOU AIN'T NO VIRGIN WHEN I REACH THE POT! |
| yassin1 | Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 04:39 am
dear sisters & brothers
I would like to say that what women go through during circumcision is terrible. I think that the practice is barbaric and un-islamic. I also believe that the debate about the right or wrong of the above practice will go on for some time. one of the reason is that our mums and sisters have been through it.
I would also go with the idea that mens'circumcision is are also tromatic but nothing compare to what I can only imagine the women go through. I think the issue is not that it is right or wrong, I think it is plainly wrong and the sisters would agree with me. the only good thing is that the practice is dying out.
what i do not like is the fact that some women like Waris use the idea as a begging bowl as well as a stick to bit up their people. white people are hipocrite and this people like waris enforce their ideas of us as barbaric and ignorant.
I would like to end my commemt by saying that this is a topic that need to be debated amongs us. good on you Lady Khalilfa and to you all. |
| MUSLIMsista | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 05:25 am
i just finished Desert Flower and was so shocked at wat i read, i neva imagined such things could happen, alhamdullilah i have been spared from such pain.
all i gotta say is for those heartless bastards who support such mutilation let me try it on u, then lets c how much u support it. trust me boys ur circumssion was nothing compared to wat these poor sistas went through.
but u know the thing is we can just complain about it and sit around or we can do something about it by making sure this neva happens to our children and it is stoped altogether. i hear that even in north america such acts r still been performed on innocent girls, u should work to stop that. |
| Anonymous | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 05:48 am
WHAT GETS TO ME ALL THESE GIRLS WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT THEY R TALKING ABOUT, YET THEY FEEL THEY CAN STOP IT BY ANNOUCING WHAT THEY READ IN MAGAZINES. LADY KHALIFA NEXT TIME U WANT TO GIVE UR OPINNION ON SOMETHING DON'T COPY SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPERIENCE,OK. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS PROCESURE AND IT HURT WHILE IT WAS BEING DONE AND AFTER WARDS FOR MONTHS. I WAS YOUNG I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND I WAS HELPLESS TO PREVENT IT. NEVERTHELESS I DON'T BLAME MY MOTHER BUT THE SOCIETY THAT ALLOWS IT AND THE PPL WHO CONDONE IT. THIS PROCESURE MAKES LIFE FOR WOMEN HELL, THE MENSTRAL CYCLE WHICH IS ALREADY PAINFULL AS IT IS GETS WORSE BECAUSE OF THE RUINED TISSUE AND FORGET ABOUT SEX. I HAVE NOT HAD SEX YET BUT I TALKED TO MY AUNT WHO GOT MARRIED RECENTLY. WHAT SHE TOLD TO ME IS NOT SOMETHING I LOOK FORWORD TO. WHAT HAVE WE DONE THAT WE DO NOT DESERVE TO ENJOY OUR SEXUALITY LIKE THE MEN OF OUR SOCIETY. ONE THING I HATE BESIDES THIS GIRLS WHO KNOW NOTHING IS THE MEN GLEEFULLY ANOUNCING THAT THEY ALLOW THIS BE DONE TO THEIR WOMEN AND DAUGHTERS. IF U LOVED THEM U WOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN. I HOPE ONE DAY THIS BARBERIC PROCESURE WILL BE DONE AND SOMALIAN WOMEN WILL BE ABLE TO ENJOY WHAT GOD GAVE THEM.
SOMALIAN WOMAN |
| gabardadow | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 06:20 am
why are we taking into account
what weris deeriye says?
Lady Khalifa? sis you dont know
this realy happened
i actualy read weris's deeriye's
book or rather an article coppied right off her book...and trust me..there were bunch of lies
in it..any somali could tell...i think
that woman is looking for simpathy but going
the wrong way...i dont what she's trying
to gain by that..obviously publicity. Same story
with iman..did you forget what they/she first wrote about her? the thing about how she
was found in the Jungle of Africa? what a crab
Iman herself..(and i watched) said in the t.v
on the sindicated Arsinio Hall show,..that that was a complete lie...they coaxed her to say..she was going to a UNIVERSITY in neyrobi when she was discovered. Weris Deeriye's story is a lot worse then Iman's there is soo many lies in her book
any somali would recongnize unless they are purporse blinding themselves..
on top of all that i said..I DO NOT SUPPORT CIRCUMCISION performed on women..
but posting weris deeriye's crab simply is not an affective way to go about it if you're trying to
give an awerness on this subject. I found it
very degragading on us as a somali women. |
| Lady Khalifa | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 06:57 am
to anon: I am sorry to hear of the pain you went through, but my posting was not something I read offhand and decided to post. Rather, I'm co-organizer of a one week event in my college raising awareness of women's rights around the world-FGM was one issue. and ofcourse I do not place the blame on the mothers.
gabardadow: it is not so much as what waris dirie has to say that's important, but what the million of other women who've gone through this have to say. |
| BESBASO | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 07:13 am
I DON'T CONFESS TO EVER IMAGINE THE PAIN THEY WENT THROUGH, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO DO WHATEVR I CAN TO STOP THIS PLAGUE FROM RUING OUR MOTHERS AND MILLION OTHER SOMALIAN WOMEN. GOOD GOD WHAT R WE TO HURT INTENTATIONALY OR WOMEN BECAUSE OF SOME OBSCURE IDEA OF PRESERVING THEM FOR THE MEN OR WHAT OUR SOCIETY PRECIEVES OF A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE DONE TO HER BODY. HOW CAN ANYONE CONDONE THIS. I THIS MOMENT I LOVE MY MOTHER MORE THAN EVER AND SHE HAS JUST BECOME MY HERO FOR NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH THIS TORTEROUS PROCEDURE TO MUTILATE ME AND MY SISTERS AS SHE WAS MUTILATED HERSELF. I WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO MY DAUGHTER AND I HOPE U WOULDN'T EITHER
IT IS TIMES LIKE THIS THAT I HATE THE SOMALIAN SOCIETY
PS. ALTHOUGH I DON'T AGREE WITH THE METHODS OF WERIS AND IMAN BY GOING TO THE TV TALK SHOWS AND WRITING THESE ON PAPER THEY ONLY HUMILATED THEMSELVES.
BUT WHATEVER WORKS SHOULD BE DONE
PLZ DON'T GIVE INTO RIDICLOUS IDEAS PRACTICED BY MISGUIDED PPL
BESBASO |
| Xoogsade | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 08:07 am
Lady Khilaaf:
If you are raising awareness about FGM then you need to stop telling lies. I can't believe you are suggesting that mothers are not to blame for the FGM fiasco. Who else but women are responsible? Stop the feminist propoganda please and pin the blame on those who deserve it.
Every Somali woman who has been spared the horrors of FGM will, without fail or exeption, thank her mother's humanity and foresight in saving her. Does this indicate that this particalar family decision falls within the exclusive purview of the mother? What about the fathers of these children, what is their role in deciding for or against FGM? Are they indifferent or inattentive when it comes to this particular family decision choosing to delegate the whole matter to the mother, this being a "feminine health" issue? I think so and further believe that historically Somali men actually resented FGM because of all the extra complications and issues when it comes time to, you know what....
and consequently are only too happy to follow, or at least not resist, the general trend.
So to make a long story short:
1)FGM caused by mothers all of whom, since I last checked, are female. So it is a woman problem caused by women and eventually conquered by women(although not yet fully, I suppose).
2)Men are innocent bystanders in this whole issue always getting the blame for it and never the credit. 99% of Somali men are and have been against this practice or are merely indifferent about it. They don't care one way or the other. I was in the latter camp and had no opinion on the matter until I read some really bad stuff about it. And the stomach-churning stuff written by LiBin fortified my opposition to this practice. So I really don't understand where this idea comes from that we men are responsible for it. Yes there are a few misguided souls out there who believe this is a good practice but they are not many. There is this good friend of mine who told me that he always thought that FGM stood for Female Genital Melioration. I laughed at his clever word play but really he is in the minority.
If you have a persuasive argument to the contrary I will consider it. My mind is only 99.7% closed! |
| Xoogsade | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 08:11 am
Gabardadow:
What a sensible and intelligent lady you always show yourself to be. Have you read any more RD works? I am currently rereading The Rebel Angels. Very heavy stuff. |
| Pro_female -cleansing | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 09:24 am
Xoogsade your mother would require to stitch your sisters because you would probably xoog them too!
shutDafuckUp |
| Alipapa | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 09:49 am
gabardadow;
I can't agree with you more that Waris's book "Desert flower" was not more than made up and accumilated lies!!. I swear to Allah not only her disgusted me to the bones but also made me think she, waris, a complete nut.
If you read the material then i guess you will recall the follwing lies.
1-Waris claimed her name, weris, means "desert flower". In fact weris came from " werin". It is like "weriye" in somali language. good example will be " dadkoo dhami ha weriyeen ..." a song from Khadra daahir.
2-She wrote she had a babe goat named Billy as a pet when she was young. AhAh so "Billy" is somali name?. What a crap!.
3- She wrote that she and her siblings hang their step mother from a tree upset down(her feet tied to the branch and her head dangling down) in 48 hours. can anybody live hanging from tree upset down in 48 hours?.
4-She wrote that she met a lion and he let go. It could happen but i didn't believe her.
5-She wrote that she killed a man who was trying to rape her. She would kill a man and get away with? i don't think so.
now let's see the disguesting part.
1- She wrote that one of her close uncles sexually molested her when she was young.
2- Her cousin, from Aunt, whom she lived with same house tried to rape her in london.
3-When she went to hospital for operation she was asked why she was in the hospital, she answered " My pus*y was tight. I need to widen it . i had an operation for that reason". She even quoted when she had first pee after she had surgery in her vegina saying " now i had my first opened vegina peeing, sshhhhhhhhhhhhh. i felt so comfortable.!!"
To summarize the content of that book i can say it is nothing more than "disgusting piece of literature". The book depicted somalis like animals. She also made a lot of generalzation. whenever she wanted to say anything about her rural women's lifestyle she would start " African women.... or Somali women...." like she saw all african culture or even all somali women.
The book was the fourth book that really made me rethink to read any somali related book. These are the four books that you don't wanna read.
1- Desert Flower "weris's"
2-Iimaan the story somali girl( the main character of this book, iimaan, is somali hooker lived in Mogadishu). Absolutely disgusting. Besides this hooker is deffending FCG.
3-The Shadow of conquest edited by mohamed said samater. The book is about muslim movement/freedom fighters against European imperialists. What a sell-out and uncle Tom he is!!. In that book, he compared Sayid mohamed Abdile hasan to Sheeikh Awes markaawi and said Awess was hero and Sayid mohamed was trouble maker. Not only that he also personally attacked sayind mohamed and quoted bunch of Ali Duh's poems( Ali dhuh=poet against the saying mohamed). While on the other hand he said Sheikh Awes was like Martin Luther King, Jr.
4- the secret written by Nuradin farah , great author but this book was nothing but awfull experience.
Sagri,
Do you know that are many doctors and intellectuals against male circumision who claim it causes emotional domage and lack sexual ectasy?. I hope i won't to see you tomorrow saying male circumasion was barbaric and it effected your sexuall performance.
Alipapa |
| LONDON-SWEETZ | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:41 am
I'VE BEEN READING THROUGH SOME OF THE POSTINGS AND THE ONE THAT MADE SENSE TO ME THE MOST WAS....
ALIPAPA-WELL DONE, SOMEONE FINALLY TALKED THE RTUTH.
I WON'T SAY WHETHER IT'S BEEN DONE TO ME, HOWEVER I SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER PUT MY OWN CHILDREN THROUGH GM UNLESS IT IS REQUIRED FOR MEDICAL REASONS.
AND ANYWAYS DOES IT SAY IN THE QUARAN THAT WOMEN'S PRIVATE PARTS SHOULD BE DISHEVELLED AND MUTILATED IN THIS WAY?
ANYONE WHO CAN FIND IT FOR ME...BE MY GUEST.
SALAAMS
LONDON-SWEETZ |
