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And Cry
At The Same Time And Cry At The Same Time
     | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 09:13 am This is a real story about my life and what I have missed over the civil war. I am sure some of you will cry very loud when you read this, but my suggestion is please don't read if you are in a public area. This story started when I was very young at age of 5. I was born in Mogadisho, Wardhiigleey. My neighborhood was one of the best place to live in Mogadisho although it wasn't for the new comers to live there. When I was very young the people described as very generous boy. My generosity was to the foulest one, I even remember inviting the homeless people (Masaakiinta) in our living room while my parents are gone and feed them with everything we had without remembering to keep something for my family members. Sometimes my family even used to tease me that I am member of the (Magan alaay) J. The next door of our house there was a very pretty young girl named Anna Mohamed Mire. Her name was very unique and was named an Italian woman who used work with her dad. She was the only Anna in Somalia. Anna and C/saaq Warsame Hassan were the only two friends I had, although Anna was more than a friend to me. Anna was older than me 5years, but since I was 5 yrs old she was the only person that I loved(not sexually). Anna and I used eat together in a same plate, and used sleep in same bed coz I used watch TV late at night over her house. Anna took care of me as I was her young brother or her own child and never believed there is anything could break the our relationship. I used spent my time with my friend Abdi or while Anna is gone. After we grew up together, I was willing to do anything Anna she asked for. I remember that I used wait for her on her (Kabiska) while she is gone to movie theatre with her first boyfriend AliKuus. Alikuus was much older than I was, at the time he was 21, and Anna was 19 and I was 14. I didn't knew anything about dating, but all I knew was that Anna was happy to be with him, and Anna's happiness was my happiness. I even used escort her to anywhere she goes even when she has a date. It sounds little bit fool, but I cared about her. I remember that one night she came home crying coz AliKuus had assaulted her after little bit of oral argument. When I saw her crying, I knew something was seriously wrong because Anna never cried easily, she was very strong (adkeysi miiran) girl. I asked her what happened and she started AliKuus…..ehe…ehe..before she finished her sentence, I run toward Alikus's house. I didn't knew what I was doing and confronted with him. Alikuus was much stronger and older than I was. He simply pick me up and threw me in (tiin tiin) like just a piece of paper. It was really painful, but at least I showed Anna that I care about her. It took me day to recover, I told her that Alikuus may kill me to death, but I will never let him touch Anna. After weeks Alikuus come my home to apologize, but Anna failed to accept his apology and broke up with him. On the other hand, my friend Abdi was the only male friend that I had, and I remember spending day in his house after he got sick. His mom used ask me to feed him after he refuse eating. All I had to do was just threaten him that I will go back to my house if he doesn't eat. I never believed Abdi, Anna and will ever be separated until the civil war began. I was 15 yrs old, when I turned to the young boy that I described above to a militia(mooryaan). When the civil war began my uncle recruit me to USC militia in Kaaraan. First days in the war to me was fun, but the reality I had no intension of killing or hurting anyone. Basically, I was doing that for just the attention I was getting from the public. It made me feel like, I am Rambo(Silver Stalone). I remember when we move to village to another village, women used (alalaas) for us and carry food and water behind us. To me it was fun, but the best part was that I used enjoy shooting shoes(dacas) that I lined them up just to practice, but I had no idea what I am about to lose at that moment. After the civil war was over, I returned to my village Warta. I come my home empty because my family and my neighbors have evacuated to Afgooye. I went to my friends houses, but no one was there. I could not wait until I see them alive. One of my neighbor who stayed behind to guard his house told me that Anna's family were Majeerteen, and Abdi's family were Warsengeli and they will never come back. Suddenly, world spin over my head and I started crying, because after all these years I didn't knew what tribe my friends were and they didn't knew mine either. I run just to catch up with my friends, but it seemed that they have disappeared. I went Anna's house to see her grandma who stayed behind, and she was terrified to see that I am carrying a gun. She denied knowing where Anna was because those days no one trusted anyone. I beg her and pleaded to tell me where Anna is, but she insisted that she doesn't knew where she is. Suddenly, amazing thing happened. Anna could not stay in the back room where she was hiding, and run out after she heard my voice. When she saw me, she was terrified and covered her right hand on her mouth and her left hand on her heart, without saying anything she ran back to her room. I was so scared and started to cry real loud like someone who lost his family members. Anna could not stay in the back and came out and hugged me and asked me why I am crying. I told her that after all these years, after all the good times we had together, today that she is afraid of me, she is afraid the little boy that she raised, the only brother that she had. She was crying too and said to me that she is not afraid of me, but she was afraid for my life. I stayed with her for two days. She told me that she was attached twice, fortunately she wasn't rapped, but she was roped all the jewelries and money she had. I offered little money to catch the bus so she can catch up with her family. She told me that she stayed behind because she had to take care her grandma who insisted to leave that house she built. I told her that is not safe so she has to leave and I promised to stay with her grandma. Finally, she accepted my offer and left. The day she was leaving, to me was the longest day in my life, I cried in public which I never did before. I started to wonder If I will see her again. I came back to my home walking very slow, I seemed very tired. When I got home I sat in front of my house wondering who to play with because my beautiful neighbor turned and empty neighbor which looked like a place no one lived before. I felt too boring, and didn't knew what to do to bring back the happy life that I had. I started to walk to the beach (xaartooy), which located between Secondo Lido beach and Geel laq beach where I used play with my friend Abdi. When I got to the beach, it used be very crowded, but no one was there. I sat on the rock. There used be a lot of fisher me on that rock, but that day there was only one old man sitting next to me. The man looked at me wondering if I am there to harm him because I looked very rough and wearing a shal which most militia wear, but he had no idea who he was the young boy that he is staring at. I seemed very sad. I started to remember all the good times me and my friend we had together. I suddenly started to laugh real loud after remembering what happened the first night me and my friend Abdi go to date. The man sitting next to me got scared and left suddenly because he thought that I am crazy or something. I just ignored him and continued my sweet memories. The first night me and Abdi went to date was that in 1989. We were going to date one girl together. I know that sounds silly, but we were young boys who had no idea how to date. When we got the woman's house, we started to wait her somewhere that is close to her house. After she come out, we didn't knew what to tell her, and my friend made wrong move after she touch her should close to her breast. Suddenly, she got pissed off and started to pick up a small rock, without saying to her goodbye, we started to ran for our lives. The girls felt good about herself and continued chasing us. Unfortunetly, we both lost our first date and our shoes(dacas). I continued laughing for hours memories after memories. I also remember the adventures(Baxar) that me and Abdi used do for fun. One day we went to Kaawada, where the white people in Mogadisho used live. Our goal was just to threw rocks to the residents, so their dogs will chase us. Unfortunately, one we day we ran into wrong house. We walked to a house where the dog and guard standing outside. We were holding rocks in our hands, and the guard knew what we are about to do. I got scared and dropped the rocks immediately, but my friend Abdi insisted doing the Baxar that we come for. Abdi already backed off for few feet, but I was only 5ft away from the dog and the guard. I screemed and begged him not to do, unfortunately he didn't listen me and started throwing rocks. Finally, I ended up getting bitten by the dog. I felt like my friends is not far after all, but I was very disappointed after realizing that was only a day dream. In the next thing I knew was just crying, I think I was gone crazy for only days because I was laughing a minute and crying the second minute. Finally the rest of the day passed me real quick. Continue.. If you know any of the names that I mentioned above, email me at jonismoe@hotmail.com for award.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 09:48 am Faqash! i was a little boy innocent so it is ok that i killed a few people, may be even your family members but i want your sympoty and understanding because i was young and didn't know what i was doing, just having fun shooting dacas[people] for fun! I wonder if you shot the dacas you were wearing? if you didn't then you knew the effect it would have had? so you must have known how a bullet enters and exist a human body? Idiot!
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:08 am Mo graw up bro.. It seems that you didn't understood the who story. Plz read again or ask me to write in Somalian. I didn't said that I shot anyone, I said I never killed anyone. Secondly I am not faqash, I am Hawiye and remember Faqash are human just like except they don't talk as dammmm as you do.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:19 am Like you would admit you shot someone on the net, where you can be easily traced? "Graw up?" what do you mean? you crab shell for brained moron? you wrote it don't read it fool! it is in your heart and what you exposed is part of your sh1t the rest is for us to read between the lines! Between the lines i read the pain you aused to many innocent people as a a young man... don't come here seeking forgiveness and understanding xawayaan yahow! live with your guilt! full stop! P.s the name Mo is taken think of something else d!ck for brain!
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:22 am Waw that was tough man. I mean , i can't imagine what you were feeling, 'cause i was't back home when all these tragady was happining.But it is not fair to take someones happy childhood away from him. it is just sad. I am just wondering. I hope you did't kill anyone while you were with the gun men
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:24 am sorry i just saw that you already said you did not kill anyone.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:27 am Mo I guess your heart is filled with a lot of hate. I think your number one reason why somalia is still remains that way. Listen up bro, I can swore that I never harmed anyone and I still love my people no matter what tribe they are. Now I see what we have missed because my best friends that we shared the bread were Darod; Isaq and Hawiye. Sxb I want you to forget what happened and go forward with your damn life although you don't have a life except chewing Kat and smoking dope. Also why do u copy my name?????????
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:29 am Thanks for your time Spike, and you are one of the people that I always admire in this site. Keep up the good work bro and I want to let you know that I heard you many times.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:40 am This the best story that I ever read.. Thanks for sharing this sad/funny story with us. TO: MO •••• off man
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 10:58 am What a moving story!, I was captivated by the young man's tragedies in life. I thuoght about the days you describe when many innocent people where ignorantly excited about the human tragedy that was to unfold in the streets of Mogadishu. When many life long neighbors turned into life long enemies. When the blood of innocent people where shed and the chastity of virgins where violated. Mo, your story is worth sharing. Your courage to admit your past mistakes reflects the good nature of your personality. For many of us, it is ok to commit a cruelty as long as you hide it from the puplic. But the plain truth is that those who can admit are the ones who can redeem themselves. Don't be like those socio-paths that have no remorse over the crimes that their wretching souls committed. Your story is the story of many young people indoctrinated in the barbarism of clanism so someone can use them as the stepping-stone to power, greed, and all other evils in the world. You need to share this with others so it goes down to the pages of the history. So the future generations can learn from it for those who forget the history are doomed to repeat it. And not just for that, we need to raise above the denial, feel the pain we inflicted on our brethern, and genuinely seek for their forgiveness. So we might heal the wounds of the past, and save this bleeding nation before it perishes from the face of earth. I am looking forward to reading the other parties of your story. Jamal.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 11:13 am To Jamal: Again thanks for your time. I really surprised reading your comments and you seem that you are a well educated person. So plz give as some of your backround if you don't mind. Secondyly, brother I want to let you know that I haven't commited any crime and Alah wuu i maqlayaa, but the only guilt I am feeling to these days is that my best friends are gone forever, I even had a chance to said goodbye my friend Abdi. I think that I mentioned above that I was carrying the gun for just attention that I was getting from the public and that is something that will make you feel good without knowing that you are terrorizing the public.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 11:16 am MO1 you talk of chaad like i have ever seen it, i have never been to aftrica! and i guess you have experience of dope... for your information i am 13years old so you best think twice before you sbread your nonsence on th screen and my age group are fast becoming the majority in this site so stop your crab attitude... is it just i that can see the lies you share???
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 11:35 am To: Mo Very funny ehe?? I knew you were 13yrs or something like that cuz the way you talk. I am really sorry about what I said to you, again plz love your brothers or learn how to love and respect your older brothers..lol.. ok, I guess no hard feeling right?????????????
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 11:36 am To the rude Mo. If you are 13 years old you need to learn some manners young boy! Why are you spoiling this page that some-one started to tell his story? If you don't like it, skip it, it is that simple. if you want to share your story start a page. There is no need for cyber bickering, it is so infantile. Mo1, please ignore the hate-mongers and the negative spinners. Your story touches upon the disastrous price we all pay in the name of a clan. Really sad!
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 11:45 am To: Nia Thanks sis for your comment. Again you are the only who really got my point. My point was to know how stupid we were at time, so we can learn our mistakes. Sis MO is a youngboy who is growing up, so we all have to encourage him to learn how to love your somalian brothers
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 12:31 pm the best story i ever read!!
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 01:01 pm Mo, First I apologize if sounded a bit judgemental for I have no qualification to be judge. I never meant you are guilt of any crime. A civilized person can only come to that conclusion on some one after the person in question has been "proven guilt beyond reasonable doubt in a court of law", otherwise we all have to be presumed innocent. My comments were more in general and philisophical for that matter. I never said you killed anyone but the fact that you were misled to participate acts of violance and lawlessness feuled by clan hatred shows how many of us, at times, has fallen to the trabs of evil and barbarism. As for my background, I fled from Mogadishu at the onset of the ethnic carnage, come to Kenya where I, for years, languished in Refugee camps or wandered in its cities struggling to survive the difficult circumstances that fate handed me. I now live in the US, where I go to college, and work as an Advisor and tutor. I am studying mathematics and Journalism but I have a deep interest in disciplines as diverse as philisophy, physics, psychology, anthoropology, theology,literature and history. I discribe my self as a wel-rounded person but many of instructors do not hesistate to raise my status to that of scholar. I beleive in their judgement! I am currently planing to write my first major publication. It will about Somalia's modern history. I really apploud your ability to articulate your veiws or express yourself. You have a talent to share your story with wider audiance. You might want to give that a serious thought. I encourage you to keep writing to reconstract your past. Many people go through the life oblivous to what is happening in their soroundings or what is going in their subconcsious. Those who have the ability to examine the past and present events, are the one whose their names endure in the golden pages of history long after they physically depart this world. I beleive your one of them. Jamal.
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| | Friday, April 13, 2001 - 01:29 pm To: Jamal Thanks for sharing your comments bro. I really got your points. Brother I live in US too in Seattle Wa, I just graduated from college and majored on computer system administration, and specialized in Network administration. Also Now I am doing my second major in Computer programing especially Visual Basic, C+ and Javascripts, which are very similar to my first one, and work as a part time in my college as a tutor. Jamal I believe you and me can make a big change in rebuilding our ruined homeland, and I wish you luck for your effort. Also I forgot to tell you that major is really difficult, coz the difficult subject I ever cross is English, and I believe that you are dealing with the problem that I was ducking out. Brother I knew that you are very intelligent man in the first time that I read your comment.
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