     Suhayla C. Salih | Unrecorded Date
assalamu alaikum.
Allah, the Most High said:
"Do not backbite one another, would any one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother, verily you detest this...." [Al-Hujuraat 43:12]
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Backbiting is mentioning something about your brother that he dislikes. " [Maalik & Ibn Mubaraak]
And in another narration, he (peace be upon him) said: "Backbiting is to mention about a person something about him in his absence". [Abu Dawood]
The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "Do you know what is gheebah (Backbiting)? They said "Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) know best." He (peace be upon him) said: "Mentioning about your brother what he would hate (in his absence)'. It was said: 'What about if what I say about my brother is true?' He (peace be upon him) said: "If what you said about him is true then you would have backbited him, and if it is not true, then he is slandered (buhtaan). [Muslim]
Based on the above Aa-Hadeeth backbiting can be defined as:
"Mentioning about a person in his absence something he would hate even if it is a characteristic he possesses."
Backbiting is haraam and the person who involves in it must repent.
When is talking about your brother not considered to be backbiting:
Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, came to the Messenger (peace be upon him) and said:
"Abu Sufyaan is a miserly man and he does not give me enough for me and my child except if I take from him and he does not know. " The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "Take what is commonly known as enough for you and your child".[Bukhari & Muslim]
It is clear from the above Hadeeth, that, in certain specific cases, a Muslim is permitted to talk about someone behind his or her back. For example:
a) If a man is oppressed, he can go to the ruler or judge or someone who has the ability to stop the oppression, and make a petition, as Hind did.
b) Also, when seeking an Islamic ruling, it is allowed to mention a person's bad quality, as is established in the hadeeth of Hind above, as when Hind asked: "Abu Sufyaan is a miserly man and he does not give me enough for me and my child except if I take from him and he does not know".
c) Seeking help to change a wrong by taking one's right. If someone cannot change it himself, then he can go to someone who is in a position to change it. Thus, he will have to backbite his oppressor to inform the person who can give him authority. The hadeeth of Hind above exemplifies this.
In the case of "commanding good and forbidding evil", a person is allowed to mention the known innovation or sin of another person, in order to warn others about it. However, if one declares the actions of people that are done in secret, this is considered to be backbiting.
One is also permitted to inquire about a person who has a specific callname, like the deaf man, or blind man. However, if his correct name is known, then it would not be allowed to use other false names.
In the same vein, one is allowed to forewarn and caution his brother or sister, about someone who is a sinner or innovator, in order for them to be free from their influence. Allah, the Most High said:
"Help one another in righteousness and piety; but do not assist one another in sin or transgression" [Al-Maaidah 5:2]
Some factors that cause backbiting and their cures:
1. Subsiding anger.
This is done by backbiting the person who kindles his anger -so everytime this person makes him angry, he subsides it by backbiting the person. Through this (the backbiting), he feels he is getting even with the other person. The cure for this is the advice of the Messenger (peace be upon him) "Whoever suppresses his anger while in a position to enforce it, Allah will call him at the head of the creation until he chooses for him from the hoor'een (special women of Jannah that are promised to the believer), for him to marry from them as he pleases. [Ahmad and At-Tabaraanee]
2. Wanting to keep Mends.
In order to maintain friends with others, a person indulges in backbiting because he is afraid of losing their friendship. Thus he does not reprimand them when they backbite, but indulge in it with them. To cure this he must remember the saying of the Messenger (peace be upon him) "Whoever solicit the pleasure of men by displeasing Allah, Allah will consign him to mankind. [At-Tirmidhi]
3. Wanting to raise one's status with other people.
This is done by debasing others, by saying things like such and such a person, is ignorant or his understanding is weak, thus indirectly implying that he is more knowledgeable than the one he debases. In order to cure this sickness, the perpetrator must be reminded that Allah is the final judge and this person that he is claiming is ignorant, might be better than him with Allah. Furthermore, that person may be excused because of his lack of understanding.
4. Playing around and making fun of others.
This could involve mockery and sarcasm. It is enough to remind those indulging in this practice of what Allah, the Most High said:
"O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter is better than the former..." [Al-Hujuraat 49:11]
At other times, it could involve lies, as mention is made of some people in a way to make others laugh. It is enough to answer with the statement of the Messenger (peace be upon him): "Woe to the one who speaks and lies to make people laugh, woe to him, woe to him" [Ahamad, Abu Dawood & others]
5. Envy.
Through envy, a person is backbited because of his noble position and high standing, in order to debase and reduce his worth in people's eyes. The envier should reflect upon the statement of the Messenger (peace be upon him): "Faith and envy cannot exist together in the heart of the slave". [Ahmad 8: 436]
6. Fear of Blame.
Something is attributed to a person who wants to free himself from it, by blaming another person totally, although they both had shared in the act. He does this so that he can free himself from being blamed. The correct thing to do is to acquit himself honestly, and not try to throw the blame upon anyone else.
7. Having too much spare time.
This can cause a person to fall into backbiting, because it is easy for such an idle mind to become busy with men, their honor and their faults. To correct this a person must spend his time in acts of obedience to Allah, worship, seeking knowledge, and teaching others. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Two blessings are misused by people, good health and spare time to do good." [Bukhari]
8. Trying to get close to a person in authority to acquire material gains.
In order to get close to those in authority and to gain their favors, someone may backbite his workmates with his boss. To cure this, he must realize the true value of this world with Allah, the Glorious, and that He is the Provider, and that He would allow him to get only what he deserves. And no boss can give him anything if Allah, the Sublime does not will such for him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"...know that if the nation (all mankind) were to gather together to benefit you with something, it would only benefit you with something that Allah had already prescribed for you..." [At-Tirmidhi]
Aspects of backbiting that people might not feel is backbiting:
1. If someone is involved in backbiting, and when he is reprimanded he responds: "I am prepared to say it in front of him,"
he can be replied to with the following: You mentioned about him something he would not like in his absence. This is backbiting, and being prepared to mention it in front of him, is a different issue altogether. There is no proof from the Shar'eeah to show that being prepared to mention it to him allows backbiting.
2. If a specific person is mentioned, and someone says something loudly that implies something negative, like: "We seek refuge with Allah from being misguided" then this is also backbiting, because it is mentioning something bad about a person in his absence in an indirect way.
3. A statement about a person like: "Such and such a person is being tested with such and such" or "we used to do the same thing," implies it is something bad, and mentioned in his absence. Is that not what we have defined as backbiting?
4. Thinking it is allowed to backbite someone because he is a younger person. There is no proof for this.
5. Finding it easy to talk about someone because he is poor, or because he is weak, or a sinner, or the like.
How should the Backbiter be treated:
The backbiter should be corrected by stopping him from backbiting and he should be warned that he is involved In a great sin.
The one to whom the backbiter comes should defend the brother who is being backbited.
Also, the person who listens to the backbiter should be aware that he is encouraging an evil, and if the person does not stop, then he should walk away from him.
Fi Amanillah
wasalaam |
