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     | Wednesday, July 19, 2000 - 05:41 pm Article from the National Post(Canada) It is commonly said -- but I believe it anyway -- that boys need fathers in order to grow up into well-adjusted men. This argument is usually advanced in the context of complaints that broken marriages and single-motherhood are bringing a generation of children into homes without fathers. Suppose, however, that the flaw goes deeper than the spread of single-parent families and that boys lack proper masculine role models even in homes where the father is present. Before you dismiss this possibility out of hand, consider the number of men you know who seem to be not wholly adult but stuck in some eternal adolescence symbolized by the wearing of casual clothes at weddings, funerals and even leveraged buyouts. The average Internet billionaire, for instance, seems to be permanently dressed for the beach. Compare the slight uneasiness you feel about him with the complete confidence you had in your father and even in your father's friends. If such personal comparisons are too painful (and I am beginning to sweat slightly), consider the leading men in Hollywood movies and compare them to the stars of the forties and fifties. Whether they were bachelors in romantic comedies or married men in domestic ones, actors like Cary Grant or Spencer Tracy seemed eminently mature. They wore suits, went to offices, drank cocktails, danced foxtrots and solved problems. If they were playing fathers, there was generally a point in the plot where they had to give understanding advice to their teenage daughters. Even more remarkable, they managed to be credible in doing so. It was an adult world they inhabited and we could all imagine their handling life's difficulties with efficiency and even aplomb. Can we imagine Brad Pitt or Sean Penn giving us that same confidence? I think not. The explanation may be that we usually see them on formal occasions, when they are unshaven and tieless, but they seem to live in a world of glorious irresponsibility. Even their pleasures -- rock music and discos -- seem adolescent. It is hard to imagine them in nine-to-five jobs. Now, these are merely surface impressions and are probably unfair to Mssrs. Pitt and Penn, who are serious actors and, for all I know, spend their leisure hours engrossed in Schopenhauer. In one respect, however, such impressions are significant: They represent what Hollywood regards as the proper fashionable appearance for its major stars. Its model for the modern male is a permanent adolescent on a toot. And the influence of Hollywood, amplified by Entertainment Tonight and the check-out tabloids, is a worldwide influence. Adolescent irresponsibility can often be a charming quality. But it wears badly. And it is at war with the formation of a strong responsible character that in men we called manliness until quite recently. We shrink from even using the words "manly" or "manliness" today because the feminist sensibility in polite society regards such terms as sexist. And when manliness is equated with responsibility, as above, the feminist asks with heavy sarcasm: Are not women responsible too? So let me compound the offence: yes, women are responsible -- indeed they are naturally responsible. Their vulnerability to child-bearing and in child-rearing forces responsibility upon them, and millennia of Darwinian evolution have stored responsible instincts in their genetic make-up. It is men who have to be trained to responsibility since their evolutionary inheritance encourages them to be promiscuous drones, leaving a succession of ladies in the lurch. (Have I offended enough people yet? If not, carry on reading.) Our civilization at present has embarked on the experiment of freeing men from a sense of responsibility through such means as no-fault divorce, government support for single mothers and the removal of stigma from virtually every human activity that is not actually criminal. Among the visible signs of this experiment are the large numbers of middle-aged adolescent males buying coffee and aspirin in supermarkets. And a disturbing picture of where we are headed -- a world of promiscuous sex divorced from reproduction, collective child-rearing, universal cosmetic surgery, cold-hearted selfish personal relations, in short a world designed to accommodate universal irresponsibility -- is drawn by Aldous Huxley in his prescient pre-war novel Brave New World. We have traditionally persuaded men to embrace the sober virtues by associating responsibility with decent manly behaviour. Far from manliness being a scientific description of a genetic quality all men share, it is in fact the prescription for a social virtue that all men lack in a state of nature. If responsibility is the least natural ingredient in manliness, it is not the only ingredient. Manliness has other components, such as courage, duty, and even chivalry, which are more obviously related to such male genetic qualities as an excess of testosterone. Here, of course, feminists again step in triumphantly to depict manliness as a socially approved form of aggression and Rambo as the ultimate manly man, ready to lay waste whole provinces if someone in a bar steps accidentally on his toe. In the social history of moral tales, however, manliness is not permission for aggressive behaviour but a set of rules that inhibit aggression in most cases while requiring it in others. A genuine manly man does not pick on weaker opponents, employ unfair methods of fighting such as knuckledusters, or kick a man when he is down. The totalitarian logic that the best time to kick a man is precisely when he is down has to be regarded with distaste by anyone with aspirations to genuine manliness. Indeed, Churchill strongly disapproved of the climax of the 1944 film, The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, because the chivalrous colonels were defeated in a military exercise by a young officer who seized them before it was scheduled to begin, justifying his action with the argument that "the Nazis don't play by the rules and neither should we." Whatever the logic of total war, Churchill saw that this argument, in addition to being fatuous (why not avert defeat in a game of chess by kicking over the board?), subverted something of permanent importance: namely, the tradition that low trickery and boundless violence are no part of civilized manliness. It is hardly a coincidence that the ideology of "winning at all costs" and the use of the term "loser" to describe the worst of fates have both spread throughout society in tandem with the rise of the permanent adolescent. Equally, a manly man is expected to use violence to defend himself, to prevent someone being bullied, or especially to protect a woman. As the Cambridge don John Casey has argued, any man who did not intervene when he saw a woman being struck would feel bitterly ashamed of himself, even if he could justify his actions rationally -- for instance, on the grounds that he was outnumbered and would not be able to render her effective assistance. This feeling is the stronger because it is both innate yet also encouraged by social pressures and influences. Like most schoolboys in Britain until about 1960, I was brought up on a series of tales that were the manly equivalent of counsels of moral perfection. For instance, Captain Oates, when he realized that he and his wound were threatening the survival of his colleagues in Scott's expedition to the South Pole, walked off into the Antarctic night with the simple words: "I'm going out now and I may be gone some time." Who could not admire, and wish to emulate (though not right away) such self-sacrifice? Though these tales reflected the social traditions of a particular civilization, the behaviour they implicitly praised has a cross-cultural appeal. When the Matabele War ended, the Matabele took the British to a site where were buried the members of a British patrol who, ambushed and outmanned, had fought to the last bullet. The troopers had then shaken hands, rushed out with drawn swords, and all perished. The Matabele, who told the tale, had buried them with full tribal military honours. If we fail to encourage such qualities, we are unlikely to get a New Age Sensitive Man who, in addition to doing his share of the housework, will also give up his place in the lifeboat to allow an elderly woman to survive. Instead, we will find ourselves with two sorts of irresponsible men: the Rambo who beats up his girlfriend in the bar and the Sensitive Man who, in outraged response, gives a tax-exempt contribution to his local Battered Person's Refuge.
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| | Thursday, July 20, 2000 - 10:27 am Now you know why the Sijiwis Wimps of today aren't anywhere close to their forefathers uuuuuuummmm must be the theory of evolution all over again :) p.s. great article thanks
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| | Thursday, July 20, 2000 - 12:24 pm Have you ever heard of the word "PLEDGERISM."Anyway,the article is comprised of heresay,and specualtions.I'ts merely an essay of opinions targeting on fashion and resentment of 'casual clothes'.Clearly,the article-insists that a fatherless son grows to wear poor choice of fashion without a TIE,and by doing so is automatically a fruit of fatherless household,thereby considered unmanly.I derive no significant validity of this article and deplore the assumptions that a single mother brings up unstable children.Obviously the article was written by a norrow minded ellitist .I have seen plenty of single mother offspring and would swear by my reputation that they are scrupulously well adjusted in manners of life, fashion,and given that- this be the artcles's main plot-wear conservatiove clothes..In reference to hollywood variety of men,in both era,is logicly prudent to assume,the concept of different erra's- trials and tribulations.The old Gee's wore suits to suit their respective occassions,be it a cocktail party or a private gatherings.Brad pitt and sean penn,represent their age group categories,and respectively dresss accordingly.Although,i must admit it is variably established that old generation tend to have maturity in life's matters and that can only be attributed to the order of their upbringing.Counterly observed the new generation,we have a more less worries attitude to evaluate problems and seek solutions without the evidence of hardships or sufferings as comparison to our grandparents.We tend to wear,jeans and tshits-to signify our level of comforts and reserve the seriousness of conservative fashion ONLY on premises of our work place.This my friend is my opinion.
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| | Thursday, July 20, 2000 - 01:15 pm Danm anonymous dat iz true!!Xoogsade..dat article is aight too.Keep up da works.folks.
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| | Friday, July 21, 2000 - 09:29 am wazzzzzzzzzzz upppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz uppppppppppppppp!..mama said its not my fault.me not had a father.
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| | Thursday, August 03, 2000 - 06:02 pm TO XOOGSADE MANS IN WEST DOOROOOOOOOO BAQ BAQ BAQQAAAAAAAAAAAAQQQQ DONKEEEEEEYYYYYY
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| | Friday, August 04, 2000 - 02:23 am live pure, follow the teachings.. never look at western idealism it's destined to doom "we the muslims know this", man has one role and women have another EQUALL role in society, the west are right NOW secretly fighting to destroy islamic idealism, just like they did to communist society. IF U QUESTION THE WEST IDEALISM IT"S HAVE FUN WHILE U LIVE!! TOTALLY OPPOSITE TO THE ISLAMIC TEACHINGS, WERE ONE CAN HAVE FUN BUT HE/SHE HAS TO FURFILL THEIR DUTY. EERYONE PLZ THINK ABOUT YOUR ROLE!! PEACE&LOVE
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| | Friday, August 04, 2000 - 01:10 pm Xoogsade, you should try to reading the Quran once in a while, it has more wisdom than all this western tabloids you seem to admire soo Much. I have read your articles on this forums and you a very arrogant to the point that you think some human beigns are inferior just because of their Colour or their or tribe. You sound like you have been to school, but you have proved to us that there is a great distinction between WISDOM and Education. Any Dick Tom and Harry can go to school, but Wisdom can not be acquired in classroom. Thats why Xoogsade you will always continue to sound utterly senseless and stupid everytime you open your mouth.
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| | Saturday, August 05, 2000 - 07:32 pm Not having any balls.
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| | Sunday, August 06, 2000 - 07:20 am Folks: I see you guys are unfair to xoogsade. here xoogsade is being stoned to death just because he forwarded this great article to us. And he didn't even give his opinion. In my understanding the article is about neither "fashion" nor clothing as Ananymous claimed. To me, the article is comparing Oldschool men to new era ones. looks like to me, the writer of this article is belong to classical school and all he is doing is criticizing of new generation who are losing , what he called, good qualities of manly men used to have. Honestly speaking I personally liked the content of this article. And the more i read English characteristic of man, the more it reminds me early somalis in the North regions. Few years ago i met Somali guy from North regions listening to Country music. He was Very genious and studying Computer Science in certain University. And i attacked him why on earth a black man living in N/America has to do with Country music. after all, Isn't country music whiteman's shity culture. And i still remember his answer. He said "i don't know how to explain to you about his but i found the country music songs very similar to somali classical ones. I am talking about somali classic songs the ones whose artists used "kaban" and men used to listen when they are having qat sessions. Believe me they are close. And besides there is no way i will listen to pop music as mind game music. Yes ! may be once a while when i go to clubs but i won't buy pop or hip-hop CDs and listen to my home". that time i found this guy very strange but now i know the guy was 10 years head of me. And one day i was watching Oprah show when she invited a great actor whose name i forgot.Anyway he is the actor of "MOSES"--one of the veteran holywood actors. He wrote a book called "to be a man". and that is why Oprah had him as a guest. Oprah said "I loved the title--to be a man". and then she asked if he can define what man is anyway. The writer said to be a man means man should have certain qualities.He should be brave,generous who sacrifies to others, one that keeps his words and he should accept the lose etc. I guess all those characteristics are just same characteristics that early somalis would define as a man. Somalis say "wiil waa aabihii. Gabarna waa hooyadeed".this means boys whose fathers are present when they are growing up out perform others and so as girls who have mothers around.if your are a girl just imagine how much you learned from you Mother. Same goes to boys. And once i read an article in readers diggest that said men who brought up by single mothers don't make good relationships. and the article said the reason is because they are so sensitive and the way they reason is very close to women. And women mostly don't enjoy that. The article said it is based on research. Of Course, every healthy society should have strong family connection and in order have good individuals the children need that both parents were both present and playing their roles. Yes it is true that the writer is belong to white elites and probably right wing-conservative wacko who is worried the integration and the changing man's role in the modern society. But honestly speaking i found the article more relates somali culture than westren one. khalil
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| | Sunday, August 06, 2000 - 04:36 pm Khalil I dont think any Somali who is studying computer science at moment could be characteraized as a genious. Any one who wants to aviod responsibility would find himself studying ! you know what mean.
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| | Sunday, August 06, 2000 - 06:31 pm To Abdul Maaan.. u r very smart keep up with your nice opinion..I like it the way u adviced him. To Xoogsade Hey Man what'z up with you??? U need to think towice befor you talk ok.
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| | Sunday, August 06, 2000 - 09:57 pm What is this, open season on Xoogsade? Thanx Khalil for coming to my aid and explaining the drift of the article in the bargain. I am beginning to think you are the only clear-thinking guy in this whole forums. The rest of the guys have their heads so firmly nestled in their collective asses that their speech comes out as a fart. They fall into one or more of Carlin's three categories: 1) Totally and irredeemably stupid 2) Intelligent but completely full of shitt 3) Intelligent but completely nuts Take this Abdul guy. You could tell the guy is smart but he has to be completely full of shitt. Is there anything in that article to that contradicts our Koranic teachings. All it is saying is get up off your ass men and start taking responsibility for your lives and that of your families. Or is that maybe too much for you. You sound like a Mama's boy who never had to sit at an assembly with the MEN. And yes I think all Non-Somalis are inferior to me. After all they have the misfortune of not being Somali. That is why I always thank the lord before I go to bed and when I wake up for His exceeding generosity. No other nation has been so twice blessed I don't think. About wisdom and education, I will be the first to tell you I don't have nearly enough of either. But I have merely gathered a lifetime of prejudice, enough that I have closed my mind for ease of decision. I have not entertained a new thought in 4 years and am not likely to. So my prejudice is the light that shines my path and it has never let me down. And it is one I like to share my fellow Somali men to help them stay true to themselves and rescue our great land from the degradations of late. Women are women and they become whoever they get hitched to and they are useless that way, so I am reserving my words for the men like you to avoid the pollution of the evil Westerner and make preparations for the Great Return when we shall reclaim and redeem our great land. But this is not gonna happen if you insist on being a big sniffling baby and go running to mama complaining that the evil Xoogsade was mean to me, looking for smypathy from insipid little girls like that silly Sad-Girl(I will say this, Some people will agree with and applaud anything).
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 05:11 am no comments.......complete bollocks!!!
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 11:32 am Xoogsade, The only reason that I respond to you is too enlighten your mind and I hope that you will come out of your dark corner. Like I stated earlier I have read your trash elsewhere, and the only reason I choose to respond to you here is because we as muslims have an obligation to one another. When we see a misguided Mind we have a duty and an obligation to at least try and make them see what it is that they are doing wrong. You said : " my prejudice is the light that shines my path and it has never let me down" How can "prejudice" be a shining light ????? To have a "prejudice" is to have a preconceived opinion, that is unjustified and unreasonable. I have to say it takes a brave person to admit that he is wrong. But only a stupid person would be bold enough to continue along that dark path of prejudice knowing that its based on unreasonable, unjustified, and unfounded beliefs.
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 12:03 pm Xoogsade, who is Carlin??
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 01:23 pm "O humanity! We have created you from a single male and female and have made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another (not that you may have pride over one another). Verily the most honorable of you in the sight of Allah is the one most pious. (Qur'an, 49:13)" What part of that dont you understand ? Xoogsade.....that light that shines your path will shine your way through hell and you will settle there for sure, cause you will find male chuvenists and rascists like yourself. Its true when they say you cant have everything, you have great knowledge .. but you lack the best of it. You thank God for being a somali? ,dont make me puke, you are born a somali you dont become one .What will being a somali do for you. Its just a way to differentiate you between other people.In your grave, will you tell Allah i was a somali and i prayed for being one all my life. You just need your religion to erase that dark stones which accumulated in your heart because of all this prejudice, which makes you favour culture against your religion. Men with dead feelings such as yourself are the damn politicians that are destroying our country today.And what men like you in the west need .. is to go back to your faith in God and stop being mesmerized by oprah or all these philosophy , psycology courses that brainwashed you completely. Thats all I have to say. Abdul .. its good to see postive somali minds out there.Your not only a man .. your one of the best kinds. Keep the faith bro and i hope men like you are the ones that will lift somalia up from its depression . w/salaam.
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 06:09 pm Amaani wa Xub: What is wrong with prejudice? You have a prejudice against mujrims and mushriks, isn't that right? Same with me I have imbibed a lifetime of Somali culture and Muslim religion, travelled most of the world, got a diverse and varied western education. Now my mind is made up. All those notions that I have been concieving, well now they make my decisions for me? I don't even have to think? I see a black American, I see an idiot. I see a Jamaican, I see an even greater idiot. I see white man, I see evil. Life becomes so much simpler. But since you are a person with good knowledge of the Koran I will listen to what you have to say and maybe even open a tiny window in my mind to absorb it. After all it is said that "To speak is the province of knowledge; To listen is the privilege of wisdom". I hope you won't gainsay me if I claim a measure of wisdom for myself. Xaali: Carlin? George Carlin of course, the greatest comedian of all time. Fire up the Napster and download some of his shitt nowww. A word of warning though, you must have a suture kit handy for when you split your sides laughing.
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 07:34 pm Again i see Xoogasade is being toasted. For the life of me i don't know what he did!. Xoogsade; Man, i just pop up once a month and i don't have much time to read. So please tell me why you are always in trouble?. I swear i found your articles funny and with good worded English. And i 've to admit I learn a lot from you. But still wondering why you have all those people against you!. Durgal; Yeah! thanks for sharing with us that gret experience . By the way, was that your husband--the one that couldn't make the Computer science  . It takes great patient to be a good wife. khalil
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| | Monday, August 07, 2000 - 08:53 pm To Xoogsade I am really sorry about you. U don't know what is muslim standing for??. U just talking what is evil say to u. wake up and get a life. Say alhamdulualaah u got bro Abdul he telling u what is right. Hey Abdul Keep telling him the loser,, your nice advice. Anyway you are the one.
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| | Tuesday, August 08, 2000 - 04:02 am don't tell me about western cultures. every day iam around them, they are like brainless animals trained to work.. majority of them are in a oneway train throuht life, they never stop to think "WHY IM I HERE"? they remind of the film MATRIX. you talk like someone who's experienced a mixture of different ideas, beacuse of this your thinking is prone to weaknesses, i suggest u stop and return to the promise land, "somalia".
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| | Tuesday, August 08, 2000 - 11:17 am Salaama Caleykum Brother Xoogsade Pls visit this new sit about Islam increase your knowledge. http://www.baaq-islam.com/ http://muttaqun.com/index.html
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| | Tuesday, August 08, 2000 - 12:22 pm Khalil khalil is a great Islamic name,but how the •••• a lice like you got that name. For future references, When someone says something about responsibility it could mean anything: country, family, community....? Another correction, I am not a woman. My point was opening up a serious discussion and question the intelligence of learning Computer Science when you are a Somali whose god damn country is in flames and needs a real intellect to put it off. Do you see the logic of the argument, Who the •••• cares about being secretary, Somalia needs a real men with economic, political science,business degrees. Are you confused now becuase I am threatening your slavery mentality. •••• head.
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| | Tuesday, August 08, 2000 - 02:11 pm Really!Really!Really! Ladies and gentlemen, i'm saddened to inform you that this 'disease'..called xoogsade, is nothing short of a little bug in a bug's world.Believe me, i am exhausted,....really really..exhausted at throwing him a bowl of reality,i even tried ringing his door bells at home,deliver it personally,but,Oh say, Oh Nay, this animalistic embreyo of a chauvenistic rat cannot absorb any wisdom ,sooooooooooooooooooo can we all say cheers to a better humanity for this ...IDIOT!lol. Khalil: Whatever!Keep watching Oprah,she might make you a better man than any somali woman can.Whatever!!
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| | Tuesday, August 08, 2000 - 06:35 pm Khalil: You are too big for these nitwits, don't even bother with them. And thanx again for the kind words. All I do is call it as I see it. And it begets a lot of what the Freudians call Displacement. Sumaya: Thank you again sister I will be sure to check the place out. Although, for serious study purposes, I prefer to read from books rather than a screen. As the Quran deserves nothing less than my most serious attention I was wondering if you could recommend some books. Thanks again.
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| | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 09:50 am What does it mean to be a man today in the west? Answer: Have at least 8 inches dick and know how to use it. TheRebornMan
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| | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 03:13 pm what dum answer you just admited that men think with thier DICK
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| | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 03:31 pm Salaama Caleykum Bro Xoogsade pls read these Articles. http://www.qss.org/publications/hudaa/1.1/knowledge.html http://www.qss.org/publications/hudaa/1.1/ignorance.html
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| | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 05:46 pm Xoogsade: I just dont want you to get more sins than you already have by being prejudice against the wrong people. You have great knowledge and it will be great if you combine your knowledge about other topics to your knowledge about your religion. I see one problem in the issues you discuss , few of them show any knowledge about islaam, its like me watching oprah winfrey or montell.And you know what i say whenever i am done watching half of the show ?.. these peope are lacking iiman. But i would never say that to you , cause i know you have that knowledge but rarely use it. :-) If you show it .. i am sure you will have great discussion that its meaningful and with great wisdom. Looking forward for it . w/salaam.
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| | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 05:59 pm can you all leave oprah winfrey out of your discussions?jesus christ?
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| | Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 10:58 am Luuna, ..and you know girls love a "working" dick!! So, don't be a hypocrite..and "double-standard" me now. You girls wouldn't even give a chance to a dude whose dick ain't working properly. You'll be like "he is not man enough" TheRebornMan
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| | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 07:40 am I follow some of "Xoogsade Writings" in some other discussions; I taught he was feminist. Now he is acting "Male chauvinist". Just make up your mind Xoogsade.
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| | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 07:46 am jj how can a dude be a feminist?can ya explain that?a male chauvinist yeah,but that>no.
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| | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 08:26 am Rebornman you right on what you said but who wants brainless one
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| | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 12:46 am Dont hate me.......please...can i insist ..you dispise me? = BASRA
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| | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 01:34 am No prizes for guessing that one, it was rather obvious.....
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| | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 12:47 pm Luuna, Since when a dick got a brain? girl, wake up. The brain is from the owner of the dick. the dick just follows the commands of the owner's brain. And the commands ain't that complicated. The dick is programmed to recognize between two holes apart from each other at no more than 1/2 inch. Depending on the position, the target is either south or north. Even a dog's brain can program its dick like...that..ooppss..damn, no wonder we are called "dogs" But, hey..even among the dogs, there are brainy ones and not so brainy ones who miss the target a lot. Choose one!!! peace TheRebornMan
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| | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 12:57 pm JJ: Xoogsade a feminist? What will you tell us next? That pigs fly? Rebornman:
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| | Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 10:28 am Xoogsade, by responding to every blockhead's (most anti-Xoosades) empty blab, you succeed in making them enjoy themselves. The best response to give to a nitwit’s comment is to IGNORE him/her. Remember ….. 'argue with fools and people will not notice the difference'.
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| | Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 06:12 pm anonymous So what> i'm Basra...Big deaL>>>>..and xoogsade>>..Talk to the Hand>>>>>Who cares?What loosers we have here? To Basra sorry sis if i temporarily take your identity>>>it suits me..for my disguise from these loosers.
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