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Should a woman safeguard her virgininty???

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Before Feb. 16, 2001): Should a woman safeguard her virgininty???
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The Equalizer

Monday, February 05, 2001 - 07:34 pm
This is another topic that has been extensively written at this forums. Some women argue that it's unfair to them to stay virgin till marriage while men sleep around.

In terms of fairness, the women are right. However, this needs to be looked at a different light. In other words, what are the pros and cons of staying virgin. Obviously, the pros outweigh the cons. For one thing, by practising abstinence, you won't earn Allah's wrath. You might not even contract some of the venereal diseases that are out there including Aids, gonorrea, and the likes. On the other hand, the cons, especially for women are uncountable.

From the sociatal viewpoint, especially in our Somali culture. Women are prone to lose big time. Since it's very easy to know whether she is still a virgin or not.

Another thing, that we seem to take for granted, and as such we fail to understand is the reason women are created virgins. Have you ever contemplated that?

Look, men like women come in different shapes and sizes. As such, the concept of one size fits all is not applicable. It follows that in order for a couple to enjoy each other sexually, they must be compatible. The woman must feel the friction to get aroused, and the man must feel the grip to get aroused in turn. This way, a couple won't have to resort to dildos, vibrators, and what you have to get aroused.

P.S., what I've written so far, obviously, applies to married couples only. I don't advocate intimacy encounter between unwed couples.

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xayaat

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 02:39 am
Th Equalizer

am not surpriced that no one has commented on your discussion...you see when it comes to bck bitting..bitching and insulting one another..they sure have plenty to say...but when it comes to an important and a worthwhile debate..they seem to hide under the pillow....Typical huh...although both of the issues you raised are delicate..but to be honest this a free speech forums everyone speaks their mind...

I personally think that at the end of the day is the choice of the individual...although our culture and religion has an affect on our final decision but if that individual decides to persue it..then they will...so shall be it...

peace

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CARAMEL

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 05:11 am
EQUALIZER,

SO IF I'M VIRGIN I WON'T GET ANY DISEASES RIGHT???

BUT HOW COME 65% OF MARRIED SOMALI WOMEN HAVE SEXUALY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (THIS ARE GOOD SOMALIAN WIFE WITH KIDS AND MUSLIM TOO)??

COULD IT BE THE LOVELY RELIGIOUS HUSBAND??

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SOMALI MEN ARE DUMMED YOU KNOW WHY?? BECAUSE THEY FOUND OUT THAT THEY ARE NOT SUPERIOUR ANYMORE. SO THE BEST THING TO DO IS BASH ALL THE SOMALI WOMEN.

I BELIEVE IN THIS IF YOU'RE VIRGIN GIRL YOU SHOULD BE WITH A VIRGIN GUY (WHICH I DOUBT THERE IS, A FEW THOUGH)

IF NOT, YOU DON'T DESERVE A VIRGIN GIRL AT ALL.
SO

EQUALIZER (THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE YOUR NAME, CAUSE YOU ARE NOT AN EQUAL PERSON) YOU LIKE THE REST OF SOMALI MEN DERSERVE THE WHITE WHORES (I DOUBT THEY WANT YOU, UNLESS A FEW DESPERATE WHITE TRAILER TRASH)

PEACE

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Amazon XX

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 08:08 am
Wow! It always amazes me how some ppl insult and then sign off with the words- "peace"?????

And Xayaat- dear girl- the man posted somewhere in the wee hours of the morning- and you responded equally (no pun intended) early....so why conclude that we don't want to discuss "important" topics?

with that said-
In my opinion, what is good for the man is also good for the woman.

What I mean is that when our Creator told us to abstain- He refered to both men and women. In other words- men and women are both supposed to be VIRGINS.

As the Quran says believing men are for believing women and bad men are for bad women.

Case closed.

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The Equalizer

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 05:46 pm
In the openning, I would like to thank you all for voicing your two cents open-mindedly. I believe, most of you see things eye-to-eye with me.

Both Xayaat and Amazon's words were truthful and to the point. As for Caramel, I agree that there are many good Somali women out there. I also do believe, as you've suggested, they're still not immune to the venereal diseases we talked about. Perhaps, they get it from their husbands.

The thing I'm at a loss understanding is your sudden digression from the topic at hand. I never wrote, or implied for that matter, that men are superior to women. Neither did I claim that I'm attracted to white women.

If you wanna talk about those subjects, just say so and I'll be more than glad to accommodate you. However, don't abruptly make an about-face and start a new topic that's absolutely irrelevant to the one being discussed.

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ninxoon supporter

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 07:33 pm
LOL

65% HUH CARAMEL I THINK YOU CONFUSED US SOMALIS WITH YOUR JAMAICAN BOYFRIEND LOL

COME AGAIN

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Honesita

Tuesday, February 06, 2001 - 11:47 pm
Equalizer.......i like the way u talk...lol...

I agree 300% with Amazon XX......the quran is the best answer for our questions.......and believe me.....when we go astray and dont follow what the quran says......we'll see diseased men and women.......we'll see lost pple who dont know what to do.......

I also think the fact that it is easy to tell if a girl is virgin or not has somethin' to do with why a lot of women dont have sex b4 marriage.....they dont wanna be busted after marriage...........

I had one dear Iraqi friend and i remember when she was gettin' married.......they put those white sheets on the bed......so if she was a virgin....they'll see blood....if she wasnt......shame to her and her family.............and i'm sure we somaliis had somethin' similar to that tradition back in da dayz.............

Carmel..............sis u need to stop disrespectin' the few decent brothaz in here......not all the guys r the same....so stop generalizin' for god's sake.......remember u dont get respect unless u earn it......:)
With me, #s talk.......so i'de like to know where u got that 65% from too sistah!!!

adios

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Anonymous

Thursday, February 08, 2001 - 01:11 pm
Equalizer,
Both men and women need to stay virgins before marriage. What I got from your message is that, basically it's more important for the woman to stay a virgin. Don't confuse culture with religion, when you face God your punishment is the same as a woman who fornicates. This discussion could have been interesting, but your title and message are ONE-SIDED (as usual). Your message is girls, o.k the guys are sleeping around but please safeguard your virginity, don't stoop to their level...I suggest you write a piece for your brothers hailing the benefits of abstinence before marriage...They need it more than we do! (I know you're going to say you were misunderstood...but that's what you come across as saying.)

P.S. Both men and women are CREATED virgins, and the idea of "checking" that a woman is still a virgin is sick and backwards...and neither conclusive, the hymen can tear at any time during a woman's life, after a fall, heavy menstruation, etc And some women have sex with their husbands a couple of times before the hymen tears.

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LiberalLady

Friday, February 09, 2001 - 06:12 pm
Equalizer!
The question is "Should believing men and women safeguard their chesty". Common bro, let's get our wording correct.

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The Equalizer

Friday, February 09, 2001 - 08:07 pm
Dear LiberalLady,

I'll answer your question with a parable story. One day a man and his son undertook a long trek. They had a dromedary with them. While they were both riding it, a group of travellers passed by them and made comments. The travellers were saying the man and his son were heartless 'cause they were both riding the dromedary. Hearing this, the man alighted from the back of the dromedary. After awhile, they met other travellers. They were saying the young boy was heartless 'cause he let the old man walk, while he was riding the dromedary. Hearing this, the man and son exchanged places. Now, it was the old man riding the dromedary. Again, they met another group of travellers. They were saying the old man was heartless 'cause he let the young boy walk, while he was riding the dromedary. At this point, since they tried every possible way to travel. They both decided to lift the dromendary and travel that way. Again, another group of travellers saw them and said the old man and his son must be insane 'cause they had never seen anyone carrying up a dromedary.

The gist of this story is that no matter how hard you try to do your best, there'll always be someone who will have something to say about it.

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