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     | Friday, February 23, 2001 - 10:41 pm Salams to all of you. Is it Obssession???? I've been happilly married quite some time now. But lately my husband who's Muslim Bosnian, well established man get the habbit of listening silently my conversations while i'm on the phone!! We live somewhere in the states where i've neva seen a Somali. I've no friends, nor a family in here. I'm somewhat scared to confront him. We've a 5yr old beautiful daughter whom we both love so much, and b/c of her i avoid any kind of arguments or conflicts with him. He once asked his sister to leave the house, simply because she was smoking, and he thought she was setting a bad example to our daughter! When i asked him why he did such an awful thing he told me "he's protecting Rasheda" He doesn't even let me put on Perfume or a lipstick, he tells me "you dont want to be a rape victim, don't try to look attractive" I'm honestly confused! No marriage is perfect, we all have our ups and downs, but how much can one take?? Please give me your sisterly/brotherly advice. I thank you all for your help.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 01:56 am to: misreably have you ever heard " culture plays the role" what can I do for you my little lady? OH, BOY! OH, BOY! I only have one beautiful advice for you, please stick with your husband! because at this time, I think it's too late to act properly... do you know what I mean????. I bet you do. but the good news is, it will be good assets for us as somali men as well as our queens who are out there and willing to go the same path that you regreted. GOOD LUCKY.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 04:24 am to miserably I must say that i disagree with samakab, you need to leave that ajnabi alone b4 it's too late, things will only get worse belive me I'm talking from experience..I have seen it, time and time again...find you a nice somali king...that 's all I have to say to you.... good luck sister.... sincerely yours, ninxoon
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 05:22 am Salaaam dear sister. Listen sister does matter if your husband bosnian or somali, what matter is, "IS HE A GOOD MUSLIM" and the way you describe him I think he is.When your husband ask you not to but perfume or lipsstick he is tell you that becouse it is harram a muslim woman to wear perfume outside her home and you should know that becouse those things are the basic and I don,t know much, but there are basic things every muslim should know and that is one of those. you said your husband does not let his sister smoke, good for him. I think he is much better some somalian losers who doen,t know anything about there religion and yet when they see somalian sister married to nonSomali (ajaanib)get so jalous about it. So listen boys all matters is if you are good muslim or not.it doent make sense if your somali but you don,t know any thing about your religion and you acting like the kufaaris. Somalian sister I advice you don,t marry a man where he is from, marry him for his IMAAN and TAQWA.And somali brother with IMAAN is even better. Nabadeey.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 05:26 am Miss Miserable, At the outset, I would like to say that every story has two sides. Therefore, all we're hearing right now is just your side. As such, my advice to you will be based solely on what you've related to us. In your writing, you said that your husband is in the habit of eavesdropping your phone conversations. You also cited an incident whereby he pissed off his own sister 'cause he thought she was being a bad influence on your daughter. You added that you were unsure whether his actions were fueled by jealousy and malice intentions or he was doing it out of sincere love. Again I reiterate, anyone who alleges that he is doing it for either reason is wrong; as we don't know his side of the story. However, I'm inclined to say that his over-protectiveness toward his family could simply be fueled by sincere love. After all, if he was careless and footloose about the whole thing, then why would he take the trouble of antagonizing his own blood sister, or yet eavesdrop your phone conversations. That doesn't add up, does it??? In brief, if you still feel uneasy about his abnormal behavior. I advise you to take the time and sort out all these issues with him face-to-face. After all, a truthful and sincere discussion about the whole thing will only clear the air and restore the hope, trust, and eventually the LOVE that you both need to bring up your daughter.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 05:26 am Salaaam dear sister. Listen sister does matter if your husband bosnian or somali, what matter is, "IS HE A GOOD MUSLIM" and the way you describe him I think he is.When your husband ask you not to but perfume or lipsstick he is tell you that becouse it is harram a muslim woman to wear perfume outside her home and you should know that becouse those things are the basic and I don,t know much, but there are basic things every muslim should know and that is one of those. you said your husband does not let his sister smoke, good for him. I think he is much better some somalian losers who doen,t know anything about there religion and yet when they see somalian sister married to nonSomali (ajaanib)get so jalous about it. So listen boys all matters is if you are good muslim or not.it doent make sense if your somali but you don,t know any thing about your religion and you acting like the kufaaris. Somalian sister I advice you don,t marry a man where he is from, marry him for his IMAAN and TAQWA.And somali brother with IMAAN is even better. Nabadeey.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 05:34 am Salaam SISTER I PERSONALLY THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM.FOR HIM TO EAVESDROP ON YOU SHOWS THAT HE DOESN'T TRUST YOU.WE LIVE IN THE 21st CENTURY SO SISTER YOU WILL GET ALL THE HELP YOU NEED TO RISE YOUR KID.BEING IN A MARRIAGE THAT YOU CANT EVEN ASK OR CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND IS NO MARRIAGE AT ALL.(NO OFFENCE).MAY ALLAH GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH YOU NEED. SALAAM
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 07:14 am My dear sis if Im u i will listen what haboon said cuz that what u need. whatever u do do not listen A sis's advise
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 07:38 am You deserve everything that happened to you you sad miserable whore. You married a Bosnian who is by birth a Slav. The word slave comes from Slav, the people your husband belongs to. It seems nowadays all Somali women want to marry and get fucked slave descendants. There has to be a psychological explanation for this. I appeal to all the Somali intellectuals out there male and female to wrap their heads around this conondrum: Why does Somali woman like to spread the legs for slaves? Haboon, have you picked you slave yet?
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 08:16 am Dear Sister, Get out before its too late. You don't want to end up like Nicole Simpson. Women are week and can be brain washed easily, your husband is a control freak and for him to make it look like he's protecting you and your daughter is the stupidest thing i've ever heard. Anyways, thats my advice to you. Run before the bastard cuts your throat.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 08:28 am Miserable, if you marriage has turned into one of misery, sadness and fear, then you have your answer:- GET OUT OF THIS SAD SITUATION! Unhappiness, sadness and being miserable have no place in a marriage, It is time to move on.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 09:36 am My dear sister I don't understand what make you so miserable. Is it because ur man do not let you wear perfumes, lipstick? Or is it when he is listening to ur phone conservation? Im confused here cuz u said Im courting (I've been happily married quite some time now). plz enlighten me Im lost here. I belive when you are marrying someone first you must be in love with him/her. And when you are in love with someone, you must give up everything cuz of that person I mean everything except worshiping Allah. and they ask each other these questions before they get married.. Will you be there when I've fallen, Will you be there when I rise, Will you see how much I love you, When I look into your eyes? Will you share all you have, Will you take all I give, Will you dare to dream new dreams, And be brave enough to live? Will you love me till all is done, Will you let me love you too, Will you show compassion, In everything you do? Will you lose your patience, Will you yell and scream, Will you simply give your love, And live with me this dream? Will you be there by my side, Will you always be true, I will be there loving you, Forever and ever, will you? so plzzzzzzzzz my dear sister in light me so I can give you my advise and brotherhood help
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 10:36 am Another Somali hoe. •••• you in your Pig Misery.
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 10:42 am i think that you need to talk to him first, because you don't want to do something darastic and regret it later!!!!!!!!! but if he still keeps on doing it then get away from him, there is alot of people who will help you don't worry. good luck
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| | Saturday, February 24, 2001 - 08:37 pm Last thing you want to do is ask Somalis an advice (The most corrupted society on the univers) It looks like your husband loves you so much. So please stick with what you already got. There are women out there dying to have a man like yours. Keep that in mind.
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| | Sunday, February 25, 2001 - 05:15 am LOooo@Kamil You and Haboon,Are only sincere ppl who talk about love and respect here... Look sis, you know your sitauation more than any one here.....we only know the little u told us....tel us sis....have you done anything that he may mistrust you? cuz sometimes there could be cultural conflect.My advice to u......This Man sound a Good Muslim.....who care about his wife and child.....and if he told you not put Profume and lipstick outside of your Home, that is Islamic rules and you should know that....I do belive this man is doing out Of Love.....I have met many Non-somali Muslim who get married ....Somali sisters......The brothers r protective to them......and that is the way of Islam.. and we somali sisters don,t get use to it......so sometimes can cuz a problems.....as I said b4.....if he just change his behaviour recently......sit whit him and ask him what is really bothering him.........the best way to deal whit any misunderstanding is COMMUNICATION......so please just do that......and good luck
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