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     | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 02:12 am i have been with my boyfriend for about three years now.as far as i can remember he was to jealous and controling and frankly its scaring the hell out of him. he collects my clothes saying i already have a man i dont need to look attractive nor sexy. if we are at a stop light and my eyes wonder,he yells who r u looking at? do u want him? if he calls and i am not home he assumes i was with another man. and i swear i have never cheated on him and have no intentions on doing so. i love this man and we are talking about getting married but i cant imagine him been married and not been as controling and jealous as he is now. plz i need ur honest advise in this....no insults plz. yours sagal p.s. thank u in advance for ur postive advises.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 08:16 am sagal you have a big problem. think carefuly before you marry such a man. love is trusting, caring, not controlling.jelousy is disease, tell your man to trust you. as a girl i would not marry such a man because he is sick. get another one.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 11:08 am Sagal, sorry to tell you this, but you don't have a man, you have a pyschopath. GET OUT NOW!
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 11:20 am sagal, i don't think he is a man at all. i think he is psychopath as tip said. i have no suggestions, but wish you all the best.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 11:53 am TO SAGAL IAM SORRY JELOUSY ISNOT ADISEASE, BUT IT IS DISIRE THAT SOME OFF THE PEOPLE HAVE . WHAT U NEED TO DO IS SHOW HIM THAT U ARE HONEST ALLWAYS... IF HE IS AJELOUSY THAT MEANS HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH... THANKS HLA
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 11:58 am anonymous, do you know what the hell you are talking about? because if you do, you must be stupid and idiot who is being a bastard selfish and self centered. i cannot believe what just have said. you are a moron dum ass. jealousy = love? a*ss hole.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 12:26 pm anon1.......sis i am in too deep to get out now.my whole family adores him,we have been together for 3 yrs.everyone is asking when the wedding date is.this is the only guy i have ever been with that my family adored. but i am also scared to death....i feel like one of these days he will kill me walaahi. tip......i am trying dear walaahi but its soo hard. anon2......thank u for u best wishes. anon3...dear how much more of myself can i give.....how much more can i show him i am honest and that i love him.tell me plzzzzzz because Allah knows i have tried many things to convince him that i am honest.he doesnt see it. when u love someone u should trust them,feel confortable,love is not agrueing 24/7 of something that does not exist my dear. anon4.....loool why do i have a feeling u are a female.......lol anyways guys b4 u respond put yourself in my postion.i would loved to hear more ideas on what i can do b4 i take bag and exit the door. thank u yours sagal
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 02:12 pm Sagal, I was one in your position. I didn't dare even comb my hair in a different style, when accusation will follow me that I changed the hairstyle to attract other men!!!!!!!! I didn't dare talk to my former women class-mates before they would be accused of pimping for me. It just got ridiclous. Worse is the emotional blackmail, the guy used to threaten suicide if I left. I left (moved to another country) after 3 years and beleive me, he scared me for life.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 04:40 pm Sagal, leave this man. He will never improve... He will just get worse... Listen to the tip...
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 05:24 pm sagal..i've been in situation like this before,i thought i loved the guy to death,i thought i couldnt live without him,he gets jeleous from his brother..imagine that,but for family reason we left the country.to my surprise insteat of feeling sad leaving him,i was relieved,i did miss him little bit,but after that i knew that wasn't love,that was owning something. my advice, u should face him tell him to stop this madness if he love u he has to trust u otherwise let everyone go in his way,if u dont show your stand now you cant change him after marriage. what kills love is jeolousy. good luck.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 06:59 pm Sagal, remember allah, remember death, remember allah, remember death,remember allah, remember death, remember allah, remember death
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 08:33 pm To: SAGAL Please don't get upset with me, this is just another advise coming from a brother that likes you and shares with same religion, culture and nationality. I am sorry to say this but you've lost your dignity as a Muslim girl, I mean a Muslimah that obeys Allah's orders and follows the Qur'an as a guidence. My dear, have you lost your mind? What in the world you mean you had boyfriend for 3 years. Did you not know that it's absolutely HARAAM have a boyfriend/grilfriend. What excuse do you have or will you present when you stand infront of Allah naked, barefoot among all other creations of Allah including Alliens and this question is asked you by Allah. What will your answer be like when your tongue, hands, legs will be witnesses against you. And worest of all, Islam has reached you but didn't have any impact on your life. I'm afraid to point this out but picture yourself standing right in the middle of men and women all naked, everyone is covered by his/her sweat and the son is brought very close and the prophets of Allah are saying "My Soul" "My soul.......why did I not be a sand? That's what Omar Al-farooq used to say. Have you counted yourself? Have you creid for your mistakes? Have you neglegted your past mistakes? Have you repent to Allah. Having a sound connection with Allah will indeed determines both your life in Dunya and hereafter. Same thing applies here, if you're a good servant to Allah, indeed you'll get one good servant that will please you. This is mentioned in the quran. Sorry, but you just digging your grave..........what kind of life are you expecting after you died...(Only if you are aware of there is life after death) Start repeting to Allah very soon, like right now, make dua and follow the sunnah. Shame on you all, none of you ever reminded her what she was going through except the last bro/sis may Allah all accept our tawbah.
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| | Saturday, March 10, 2001 - 11:10 pm TIP WALAAHI,ON ALLAH'S NAME HE DOES THE SAME THING SIS.IF I BUY A NEW DRESS...HE ASSUMES I MET SOMEONE.WHEN I AM GOING TO WORK HE FOLLOWS ME. HE BROKE MY CAR MORETHAN THREE TIMES SO THAT HE CAN TAKE ME TO WORK.NOT TO MENTION I CANT TAKE A SHOWER,I CANT HAVE ANY FRIENDS....FEMALE ESPCIALLY. WHEN I TELL HIM ITS OVER HE CRIES AND SAYS HE IS NOTHING WITHOUT ME AND IF I LEAVE HE WILL KILL HIMSELF. HE IS VERY ATTRACTIVE,SMART,SWEET AND ROMANTIC THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS HE JEALOUSY. I DONT THINK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM NOW,I AM WITH HIM BECAUSE I AM AFRAID HE MIGHT KILL ME OR KILL HIMSELF.WALAAHI FEAR OF DEATH IS THE ONLY REASON I AM THERE. I THOUGHT ABOUT MOVING BUT MY FAMILY HAVE BEEN HERE FOR AWHILE AND MY MOM BUILD A PERFECT LIFE AND BUSINESS FOR HERSELF BESIDES I JUST GOT A GREAT JOB.I DONT KNOW IF I CAN AFFORD LEAVING ALL THAT BEHIND. BESIDES IF I MOVED I DONT KNOW ANYWHERE TO GO.....OR WHERE TO START. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SADDER THAN I AM TONIGHT I SWEAR. TODAY,I FOUND OUT THAT HE IS TALKING TO SOME GIRL,I ANSWERED THE PHONE. HE SAID THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS......YES HE DID TELL HER THAT HE HAD A WOMAN BUT THE DAMGE IS ALREADY DONE. NOT ONLY IS HE CONTROLING MY LIFE BUT HE IS ALSO LIEING TO ME. IF I ONLY KNEW I WAY TO GET OUT OR SOMEWHERE TO GO THAT HE WONT FIND ME. LAST WEEK HE TOLD ME "IF I CANT HAVE U,NOMAN WILL"....NOW I AM AFRAID HE WILL KILL ME. I WISH I HAD A BROTHER OR A MALE FAMILY AROUND HERE. WADAAD......I UNDERSTAND UR POINT,BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT I MADE A MISTAKE AND I AM SEEKING FORGIVENESS FROM ALLAH. AND IF ONLY HE SHOWED ME A WAY OUT OF THIS I PROMISE I WILL NEVER DATE AGAIN..WALAAHI I PROMISE I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS WHILE I AM STILL BREATHING. YOURS THE SOON TO DIE SAGAL
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 02:54 am well sweetie, my advice to u is to sit with ur man and tell him how u feel, and that him controlling u will only drive u apart. being togther for so long, shouldn't u guys have trust between u? coz its only when 1 of the parties r insecure about them selves. anyway to cut the long story short if ur relationship is as strong as u say than sis u will survive this rocky edge! i understand when u said that u've been together for long and that u have invested too much time and effort to it so the best thing to do is to talk things through. if u can't seem to talk as adults than ur digging urself a whole if u marry him! ps: honey remembr h is ur lover not ur dad! till next time take care!
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 04:14 am Sagal, come on, be brave now. LEAVE HIM!
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 07:39 am Sagal, what you need to know about men is they usually get worse when you marry them, so if yours is already control freak just imagine how it will be like after you marry him, I don't think you will have any chance of going out side, so don't worry about him saying why you look at this person and that person, I get a feeling you will be in jail for good, and guess what the worst part is you can't say no then, because he's your husband and you have to fallow his orders or else everyone will think you're one crazy lady, if you're not prepare to take all the abuse why don't you leave him, because if you walk away now and find yourself someone who's not so jealous I don't think anyone would think you're crazy to do that, just remember it's your life you get to make the decision for yourself don't let anyone else make them for you or else you will regret. Why don't you take a moment and think about all the good things his good at, and his bad things too, and compare them and see if you can live with it. Wadaad, well said.
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| | Sunday, March 11, 2001 - 08:14 am run away from him feel the breath of the sky near and the softness of the earth neathe your feet run away.... run away.... breathe in the air you long to breathe.... that is the air of freedom sweet to the taste crisp to the intake just gather you things and bail for your sake.. Run away... Run away. and you will see the weight on your shoulders becomes much lighter, if you just drop it all and flee. so much happier you'll be. just... from it all.... run away.
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| | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 08:00 am Sagal come on u have a way to get out of it, u realy dont love the guy he killed that love before by himself, your way is to use this event that you catch him talk with a woman and that broke your heart and that is it u dont want a cheater...so u have a reason to leave use it girl dont make things complicated more than they are. girl u are afraid for your life now what about when u get children from him,you'll be afraid for them too. be a strong girl...the opportunity came to you in a golden plate...USE IT.
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| | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 08:12 am hey sagal who is that man and where is he came from originally cuz Somali boys can never do that to a girl and they will never kill themselves cuz a girl and be sides they R Muslims and they belive killing ur self U going to hell. I am just wondering who is this guy!....... guys can U see what I see here..... I knew this would happen when U running around with other nations boys pay the price girl and stop moaning.....
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| | Monday, March 12, 2001 - 03:19 pm sagal i am sorry sis but u need to get out b4 its too late.for ur safety plz get out soon.
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 02:42 am its easy for us to tell u to get out when u've been with him for 3yrs buti think ur more concerned with hurtin him then gettin out of a situation u dont want to b in, u need to leave him for ur sake its hard but think of the long term, how long do u think u'll b able 2 handel this?? i honestly wish u all the best and i hope u get the courage to leave!
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 02:54 am sagal did Da brotha Eva Became Physical, if not all i can say is DAT you and DA man are both Emotional. Personally i believe DAT you are attracted to another fellow, GAL watch U BAK. peace giveN Dr.gardheere
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 03:28 am It seems to me thatSagal has emotional and self-steem crisis. First, are you muslim? Have you noticed that the muslim women and men are forbidden from having any sexual contact with anyone? Shameful! Hopefully, you will pay the price soon when you find out that you worth nothing because you gambled to your body and life. Second, no one will marry you even the so call your boyfriend because the Somali man does not marry so call "dhilolo" or "whore". I am sure you are whore if you had a sex with out marriage. So please do not corrupt the God protected clean Somali women and take your ass to Jumaican or other looser ethnic group. Somali-boy
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 03:29 am It seems to me that Sagal has emotional and self-steem crisis. First, are you muslim? Have you noticed that the muslim women and men are forbidden from having any sexual contact with anyone? Shameful! Hopefully, you will pay the price soon when you find out that you worth nothing because you gambled to your body and life. Second, no one will marry you even the so call your boyfriend because the Somali man does not marry so call "dhillo" or "whore". I am sure you are whore if you had a sex with out marriage. So please do not corrupt the God protected clean Somali women and take your ass to Jumaican or other looser ethnic group. Somali-boy
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 04:20 am yo Somali-boy its narrow minded ppl like u that keep stereotypes and racism goin, ppl make mistakes and she jus chose the wrong man and as for the sexual •••• its between her and god no one else, its not like ur gonna be judged with her on judgment day . Sagal baby u jus have to B strong and trust in god.
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 05:04 am Raxma, you are another loser who want to make a room. I just remind Sagal that she should fear a God's wrath. If you are one of the whore, go to the hell, and it is true that is between you and God but someone has to mention the fact. If you think it is civilized to make adultary before marriage you are moran and you need a massive education. Who is narrow minded, the one who preaches the fear of Allah or the one who makes unfounded excuses? Girl you are dreaming if you think you can reach your goals by becoming whore. Allah my show you the right path. There is no such a racist that we aal Somalis so study yoyr terms before you throw them out. Somali-boy
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 05:31 am hey somali-boy 1st i aint no WHORE and i fear God and no Man (sorry boy in ur case )and 2nd its only adultary if ur married and she said its her boyfriend(its called premaritual sex, which is a major sin)and if i can remember my religiou lessons it means 40 lashes on the day. Dont make assumptions bout ppl. No matter what god is mercyfull or did u forget that part, no body should have to put up with that kind of mental abuse(maybe except u somali-boy) ;-)
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 06:52 am Hey people what's going on, is Somali boy judging the people before the judgement day. Somali boy, if you know anything about the religion you would know how to mind your own business, don't call Dhilo for someone for something you haven't witness. You know what you need, you need to practice what you preach, yeah I think that would help you and a lot of brothers who forget about them selves while preaching Somali ladies how to be a good ladies. You said no one will marry a dhilo that's not true how about dhilay, dhilo and dhilay go together don't you think?! raxma, well done sis, put the suckers in their place.
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 08:56 am Rahma..shut your ugly ass up..We know your mother didn't give you normal child birth. She spit your ugly ass out(khuuuuuuuukh Tufuuuuuuuuuuuuuu).....
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 11:01 am Asalaamu Caleykum Raham & SomaliBoy, Please keep the room clean! What both of you said is not right according to Islam so let's not be childish and will you please behave and show islamic characteristics. Our beloved prophet scw said "A muslim is the one whose tongue and hands are being saved from others" Are we calling people on-to Islam or are putting more gas into the flames? Sorry if this sounds harsh. Sagal, Gotta good news so listen up and open your heart for this wisdom. As the prophet mentioned, All human being committ sins BUT only those who repent to Allah are the best one.......this is Hadith, no doubt that all of us are disobey Allah starting with me but what comes right after committing sin. You might take is nothing, someone might cry over it or might make lots of Salaat and tried just erasing the sin and changing it with obedience to Allah, or make lots of donations. The list goes on.. BUT you've taken a different direction which just makes things worest.... You have lack of hope/trust in Allah. Allah said in the Qur'an "Only the MUSHRIKIIN (Non-believers) are given up for my forgiveness." You never give up sister. Whatever you do, just repent to Allah. Allah also said, "My servents are those who repent to Allah when they just do FAWAAXISH or DULM" Don't give up and make towbah to Allah. Allah love you so much and let me describe that kind of love. Suppose someone went to the bush and he put his food and drinks on the camel but the camel disappeared. The person went to sleep under a tree hoping nothing coz it's no where to go and no food to eat but just to wait death. A little after, the person wakes up and there is the camel stading right infront of him....what kind of happiness will that person get? Allah will be happy more than that if His servants repent to Him. Don't forget Allah can make things pleasent by just having trust and obeying Him. Remember the situations where the prophets were saved from Allah and the crisis they were in. For example, prophet Yuunis was in the stomach of a whale when he called Allaha and asked forgiveness, Ibarhim was in the fire in which his father throw him in but Allah was with him and saved from, Mossa got very close to be captured by Fircon but Alalh saved him, same with Mohamed when he hides himself from the Qureysh in the hole they almos saw him but Allah was there and save him. Don't ever think the wrong things you've done in the past just focus what's next. As of your boyfriends, guide him to Islam and tell him the reason all these happened is the fact that you'all disobeyed Allah. Take actions now and turn to Allah not to Somalinet and it's misguiding people. Listening to Quran and preaching tapes will definately help you became good Muslimah. And those with the critizism, just ignore them and don't answer to them as that's how we should deal with juhalaa. Warn if the guy tries to committ suicide, he's just going to Hell and you're not resposible for controlling his life but he'll be held accounable for it, so which one is better losing you, or kiling himself in a trifying way and being in Jahanam forever.
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 04:25 pm rahmaaaaaa i love u sis thank u very much for defending me while i was away. here is my email me sis ladannina@hotmail.com we will talk more sis. somali boy.......plz get a dame life and stop disrespecting ur sisters. for one whatever i do is between me and Allah like rahma said and i dont have to answer to a looser like u. wadaad..thank u dear and i will do all the things u said but i did not cummit sin so dont judge me before u know me ok. i cant write much today but i will be back soon and raham dont forget to me email me sis. yours sagal
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| | Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 06:11 pm Raxma, waa runtaa oo oo waa jiraan wiilal badan oo sida hablaha gafa dhilaystana dhilayna ••••• ayuu guursadaa sidaad sheegtay laakiin arintu maaha in la dhaho wiilashuba waa gefaane aan gefo. Qofka muslimka ahna waa lala taliyaa ee xumaan laguma taageero. Sagal xumaan ayaad ku taageertay ee bal qabso dadkuna waa wada ogyahay inay tahay arin khaldan ee adigu gaar ha isu saarin. Hadaan caytamay xaal ayaan bixiyey ee raali hala iga ahaado laakiin allana halaga baqdo. Sagal, ceeb ayaad meesha keentaye sida isu dhaan oo nimaan quruxdaada laasanayn ha isu loogin. Maxaa kuu diiday nin xalaal kugu guursada? Waa nin liita oo raba inuu habeenkii kugu tutunto ee maaha nin daacada. Raguna sideedaba waa bahal bahala haddaan yur la iska oran waa uu ku cuni markaa walaashiisa is daba qabo. Mar labaadna cayda xaal ayaan ka bixiyey.
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| | Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 07:51 am Somali-boy, cafis walaal, aniga qofna xumaan kuma taageerayo ee waxaan rabay in aad fahan to inuu shimbirba shimbirkiisa la duulo. Ilaahay ma igu keenu inaa qof Muslim ah xumaan wax fiican uga dhigo. Cafis iyo masaabax walaal.
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