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Why Somali girls Try hard to not show their love??

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Somali Women's Forum (Current): Why Somali girls Try hard to not show their love??
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Mire

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 12:33 am
Most somali girls has No attitude.Don't ask me Why
The Answer is Only They Act the kind"hard core"
I meant If she Loves you to death,She will Never show up that Love,Unfortunately, She Might Show that Love Other None-somalains!!!!Brothers If Im Not wrong,I recently was In love with a somali girl.althought She loves Me but,she doesn't show up that Love to me??Can U gues why all that headache??????????

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SomGIRL

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 01:32 am
MIRE

You guiys have LOw self steam.....when will you get over it...this will Somebody Love me theory? Love yourself and others will Love u? why guys don,t have self confident? why don,t eccept yourself First b4 u search others 2 love u? guess what I am getting Headache from NO-ONE LOVES ME NO-SENSE!!!!!! so stop it will you?

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T-GIRL

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 12:39 pm
MIRE
Could it be that most SOMALI men don't appreciate the love they receive and as a result they get a cold shoulder and an "I think I like U" thing?

Think about that for a change

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Aliyah

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 01:48 pm
mire
if she doesnt show you that she loves you, then how do uknow that she luvs you. ur just contradicting urself. surely if uknow she luvs you, she must have done something or said something to make u realise this. so why dont you appreciate that luv. why dont most somali men appreciate this. or maybe they do appreciate after they have lost it.....
Dont act like a baby act a real men

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Anonymous

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 02:30 pm
I am sure a somali girl would show love only if someone shows her love and besides, what girl wants to show love when the guy she likes always plays hard to get, even if he likes her. somali men always try hard to be somethng they are not, so please know that somali girls are the best and they show luv to whoever shows them love, i mean real luv

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Ali

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 03:36 pm
To Anonymous:
I agree with Mire that is the fact, and they says the thruth always hurt. Iknow somali girls loves
to hide their loves as a result of that we guys
feel disappointed and do look other girls
Mire that is right right brother.
any girl need prove i can prove that

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Mire

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 03:43 pm
To Aliyah:
If i answer your Q:
How do I know that she loves me????oooh
1-she tries to call me everyday
2-she can't stand with out me she always touch me
for none reason,she smiles at me,and many other charecteristics that You will certainly know that she loves you.she can't say I Love YOu!!!
You get it Aliyah

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WAGWAN

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 03:50 pm
The fact of the matter is that girls don't wanna show love because they think it's a weakness. If a guy saids he likes me then fine but it doesn't mean i will show how i feel. This is because i'm afraid that the brother is just telling me he likes me because he wants something. It's just like if a guy tells a girl he loves her, the girl automatically thinks "he doesn't mean it":O Therefor us girls think that we must stay strong, keep our heads high, etc.
In our religion girls have to keep their heads down and lower their voices, this doesn't mean they don't have feelings, it just means they are abiding by the religion. So guys, when a girl doesn't smile at you after you smile at her or she ignores you or when she speaks back to you in a quiet, calm tone of voice, know that she is not giving you the cold shoulder. She is just keeping her 'xishood' and 'sharaf'.
If i tell you the real truth about most of the girls i know, 'hadalkoothaa macaan' ok!! Like myself, if i talk to a guy how i want then we will start joking and laughing. As you know that is not permitted in the religion. So when i talk, i don't talk how i want to talk, i talk how my religion asks me to talk. I lower my tone, and look down.

So brothers realise that we do love you, we might have feelings for you, we can't talk to you how we want because we have to keep our guard and stay strong ok!

PeAcE N' ReSpEcT

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Aliyah

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 04:25 pm
Mire
Fair enough she says all that for u, what more do u want.
For her to scream to the world I LOVE U. Or for her to keep saying to u every min that SHE LOVES U. Walaal give her a break.
U dont apprieciate her love usomalian nigga.

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Mire

Saturday, March 17, 2001 - 07:16 pm
To Aliyah:
YOu hate Somali Borthers Like that??
If she Loves Me Is that hurt You???sister What Im trying to say Is She Loves Me but,She Got Other game she Need to Kill 3 Birds In one stone,She Act
LIke she Doesn't Love me to take the advantage Of
Me,and the same time Look other guys,as well as to
Never Lose me If she doesn't find Other One!!
That is what all You somali girls tries to do??
No Offence..Peace

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Honesita

Sunday, March 18, 2001 - 12:04 am
Mire.....brotha i understand where ya comin' from.....but let me ask u somethin'....!!

Why is it when 'we' girls show the guy we love that we care and that we wanna work somethin' out....the guy starts acting like he is the 'only' man on the face of earth.......!!!!

I'm talkin' from a personal experience here......i was with this guy for a while......all he knew how to say was i love u and i'de do anythin' for ya.......but when i wanted him there....he was neva there....he neva showed me what he said......till i realized that i was goin' inot a one way street.....so i just told him to leave me alone and that i wasnt interested no more............that was when he went 'kuku'......the guy cant stop callin' me now.....he keeps on beggin' for a second chance......but will i give it....hell no.....cuz he didnt show me the love in the first place....when i was givin' much love i was getting nothin' but lies from him..........even though i want him and would luv to give him a 100 more chances....i'de neva show it......!!! Can u imagine how painful that is....!!!

There is a somali sayin' that says 'naag been baa lagu xera galiyaa...runa waalagu dhaqaa' so how do u expect us girlz to trust u or show u our love when that sayin' is in da mentality of most somali guys.....!!?

adios

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Aliyah

Sunday, March 18, 2001 - 05:55 am
Mire
idont hate my own somlian nigga,
Uc mire i didnt know the whole story that she might have been a player. Igotcha ya, i can feel ur pain now.
Abo that is where ur getting wrong, just cus one somali babe thinks that way, it doesnt mean that we all think this way

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Nuclear

Sunday, March 18, 2001 - 05:05 pm
Nuclear

Is in the forums now, girls talk, say,what u got, you only saw mire who seems to be very gentle fellow, he is not using the toughness of men, he is just observing how u react, which is absolute nothing is wrong with. From now on , me gonna take the charge, therefore u got to bear my roughness ,ok?

Indeed somalian girls dont show any kind sympathetic behaviours, passion, love what so ever, i hate to say this: they are more like wild life animals. those animals dont know who does favor for them. The pets do.

This does not mean they are very cruel or bad humans, however they are not being raised to be passionate. Their formothers where the same. For example like Araweelo , all of them at some point have a respect for that crazy unpassionate woman. Some of them wish or like to follow her dark foot steps.

Who can ever make a pet wild animal? takes long period, doesn't it? That is what we want, unfortunate , we men, dont have such a patience or we are running out of it, even if we had in the first place.

I have never seen, somalian lady saying or confessing whether she loves her husband. The love, before marriage does not make a sense, i know that ,every body deos, but what happen to the married ones,how come, it is hard for them to tell their husband that they love them? See that tells you somalian woman are more like wild ..... take care, that is all i can say to night

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Taatiko

Sunday, March 18, 2001 - 09:37 pm
Lee waraa Mire waa fuuray saa u qoslaayey
Baac waaxid, wee i taabataa kulahaa waraa kistaa lagaa shubanaa hadaa heesatid waaye ofcourse.

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Mire

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 06:55 am
To Taatiko:
Im getting hard time understanding what you saying
Please say it in regular Language Not Shaashi Languages and of course No hard Feelings sister
I don't Know How to speak Ilaay,Shaashi,Reer xamar
and gibilcad, But, i might understand Somaliland
Accent Noow take care abaayo and next time No shaashi allowed take care

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turjubaanad

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 07:07 am
waxay ku tiri: waan dilaacay saan u qoslayey nacas waaxid.way i taabataa baad tiri war heedhe lacag bay kaa dhamaysanaysaa waaba hadii aad iyada haysatid. i hope inaad fahamtay anigu qaldaan kuma hadlo laakiin afsoomliga oo dham baan fahmaa, qaldaan,reer bari, shaashi you name it.

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Nuura

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 07:49 am
To
honesite,
Wow!sis...i'm impressed by your words and the way you talk. You have covered a lot points and Mire and other brothers should understand what you are trying to point out. Not only you feel this way about the somali bro's sis, but I also think this way about them (Makin' long story short). There is something about the Somali brothers(I never had anything with non somalians) But seriously, They run after youuuu and then you try to help them out...they kinda think like they own you or something...e.g they'll promise something and next thing you know there is excuss" I had this trouble" bla bla bla..I hate excusses after excusses ,God!.and I'm nice and I don't want to be rude or anything..cuz I have feeling for "him". Anywayz, they weren't like this at the begining. I Love Somali brothers but they have this problem,(changing:like before and after) things decrease....It should be increasing
1Love

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Anonymous

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 08:47 am
Nuura why dont you try a jamaican ,you know your not the only one out there

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SomaliCream

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 10:12 am
This whole topic depends on your definition of "showing love" what does it mean to most men? Well I am going to take a good guess, love to some men means sex, sex and yes again sex. So do you brothers actually blame us for being careful? The word love is used too lightly in today's society, love is not precious anymore, some men say I love you after two weeks of being together, just so they can get something out of it.
Come on men, be real with me don't you expect a women to have sex with you after she said the three little words???.

That is why women have to be careful of what they are saying, because when a man says I love you, then women starts to ask herself questions, does he really mean it? Or does he want more from me?

So maybe if the word love was not used to lightly then we women might have our faith about love back and will be able to believe in its unique, precious meaning once again. Until then I still believe that women are still going to be very cautious of what they say.

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Mire

Monday, March 19, 2001 - 11:24 am
TO SomaliCream
You certainly pointed out some thing had happened
to me.Once i persuaded my girl to have sex.
The problem is she needed to have it with me but,
she was fearing the consequence that might reslut
Remember if we were had the same fearnes we were
not seducing them to have sex with us.You know this
is not new for girls, this is a chronic illness
that all word wide has it.the bottom line is
girls has more sex drive than men, and she wishes
that no one knew that she loves you becouse she thinks other girls might criticize her!so she prefer to not show any love to their lovers.

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Jama

Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 03:37 am
Mire, Bro I understand your point. Somali women give us a cold shoulder. I have dated Korean to Panamian women and I have yet to meet women who are more colder hearted than Somali. I decided to date Somali women after moving from a state with a few single Somali women. Being unexperienced in the minds and style of Somali women, I got played. I was sweet, kind, and understanding to my dates and yet I did not get back the same from them. I saw each one for an average of 3 months. I decided to get back to what I know best, Ajnabi women. If u have a Ajnabi woman, she will express her feelings to u: love or hate. She is up front and personal with no suuro.
Mire, if u want a woman to love u, and show her feelings, get an Ajnabi woman. If u want drama, suuro, etc. , date a Somali woman. I know a lot of Somali Brothers who date Ajnabi women and they do so because of the lack of suuro, cold shoulders, etc. They are happy.
So Mire, Join the club. Let the Somali woman show her love to the Foreign guys, U do your own thing. When the Going gets tough, the tough get going.
Adios,
Jama

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GhettoGirl

Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 04:41 am
What can I say that SomaliCreame has not already said :). Indeed love is taken for granted! I often hear about true love from my parents’ and other elders but I cannot seem to define it. I guess because the word love is indefinite meaning you might have a completely different overview on it then moi. To me love is apperication, warmth, and comfort. Love is not just about sex! That is just how the media portrays it. It’s much deeper and heart felt. I have yet to find love…part of the reason is my age. Although I consider myself, mature one can never truly know everything unless…they have experienced it. Like a famous poet once said, “With age comes wisdom” as you grow older and your mind starts to progress you notice things that you didn’t while you were younger and you also see things in different light. If you think, you could find the meaning of love from those rnb songs your way off then!


Mire why are you encouraging anyone to have sex! That is called adultery...Aren't you Muslim? Do you know what the punishment of taking a girls virginity is?

Before I get into that whole discussion let me, just point out if a female were to have posted this message she would've already been criticized, ridiculed by now. It is safe to say that Somalis’ are by far the most ignorant people to have ever lived. Not all but “some”! I have noticed that most of the time they confuse Culture with Religion.

Introspect, Somalia is a nation of the damned! 12 years have gone by and Somalis’ still cannot get along with one another. Each tribe thinks their superior to the other! You might think I am getting off track here but it all boils down to the same thing! I think the cause of Somalis downfall was due to the lack of faith and culture.

It saddens me to see my own (people) at this state. I hope to see a brighter day! I hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope to see the day we all reconcile and co-exist as one! I hope to see the day we stop these evil deeds we commit day in and day out. I.e. (adultery, backbiting, gambling etc) and just repent to Allah (swt).

This world is ending! We have to work on the hereafter because it is more crucial.


One of the aims of Islamic sharee’ah is to preserve honour and lineage, so zinaa (unlawful sexual intercourse) is forbidden. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way (that leads to Hell unless Allaah forgives)” [al-Israa’ 17:32]
Sharee’ah blocks all the ways and means that could lead to zinaa, by enjoining hijaab and lowering the gaze, and by forbidding being alone with a non-mahram woman, etc.
The married man who commits adultery deserves the worst kind of punishment, which is stoning to death, so that he may taste the results of his deeds and so that every part of his body may suffer just as every part of his body enjoyed the illicit liaison. The fornicator who was previously unmarried is to be punished with the maximum number of lashes mentioned in sharee’ah, which is 100 lashes, in addition to the scandal of this punishment being witnessed by a group of believers, and the humiliation of being banished from his city and the scene of his crime for one full year.
In Barzakh, the punishment for men and women who were guilty of zinaa is that they will be in an oven whose top is narrow and whose bottom is wide, with a fire beneath it, and they will be naked therein. When the heat of the fire increases, they will scream and rise up until they nearly come out of the top, then when the fire decreases, they will fall back down. This will repeated over and over until the onset of the Hour.
What is even worse is when a man continues to commit adultery even when he grows old, death approaches and Allaah gives him the opportunity to repent. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three to whom Allaah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor praise, nor look at; theirs will be a painful torment: an old man who commits zinaa, a king who lies, and a poor man who is arrogant.” (Reported by Muslim, 1/102-103). Among the worst of incomes is the earnings of a prostitute which she takes before committing zinaa, and the immoral woman who earns her living by selling herself is deprived of having her prayers answered when the gates of heaven are opened at midnight. (The hadeeth is in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2971) Being in need or being poor are not acceptable excuses for transgressing the limits set by Allaah. There is an old saying that the free woman would rather starve than eat by displaying her breasts, so how about her private parts then?
Nowadays all the doors of immorality have been opened, and Shaytaan and his supporters have made it very easy for people to commit sin. This has been followed by the spread of tabarruj (wanton display) and unveiling among women, people allowing their gazes to wander to things they should not look at, an increase in mixing between the sexes, the popularity of immoral magazines and lewd films, increased travel to corrupt countries and the establishment of a market for prostitution, an increase in the violation of honour, and an increase in the number of illegitimate births and abortions.
O Allaah, we ask you to show us Your mercy and to protect us from immorality; we ask You to purify our hearts and to keep our private parts chaste, and to place a barrier between us and what is haraam.

http://www.islam-qa.com/books/muharamaat/english.shtml#17


P.s. Mire I was in no way trying to offend you…I was merely enlightening you because it is my obligation. I love you for the sake of (swt). Not only are you my brother in Islam we also share the same culture.

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Nuura

Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 06:59 am
To Anonymous,
I don't know what you're trying to say, are you saying have something with non-somalis.....plz...come on now...don't disrespect me and other somali sisters like me like that...I love my brothers...and I think I was made for them...Ew!..aboowe/abaayo...next time don't say anything like that..to someone like me (think before you say it)I live in T.O..where somali sisters are wanted...I had enough about what ppl are saying about the other somali sisters. God!
Peace

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Somalinet_Citizen

Tuesday, March 20, 2001 - 12:37 pm
Mire,

Just because we somali women aren't as easy as other women, doesnt mean we don't know how to show love. what WAGWAN, Honesista and GhettoGirl said pretty much summed it up, we've been raised a certain way different than those women that you see in the media. Alot of somali women dont think its right to be all lovely dovey and touchy before marriage, but thats because of religion and you cant argue with that, much less change it. You can go run to other women if you want, but you missing out man!

one luv

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SweeTsis

Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 03:11 pm
TO GHETOGIRL.

GIRL UR SAID IT ALL ANG RIGHT.
I JUST HOPE EVERYONE WAS WISE LIKE U.
JUST ONE MORE THING;
ITS NOT PANADOL, ITS,
'ISLAM' THE MOST TRUSTED PAIN RELIEVER IN THE WPRLD.
WHO EVER PRACTICES OUR TRUE RELIGION IS SO FURHTER AWAY FROM COMMITING SINS AND GETTING DEPRESSED.
GOOD LUCK.
DA 1 & ONLY SweeTsis

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Been there done that

Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 04:39 pm
Mire I know what ur talking about I have been there done that. It is just to make the guy frustrated no I'm joking. I just wanna know he likes me alot in that way he'll persist even when I give him a cold shoulder he'll keep on coming on. Don't lose hope.

PS try to make her jealous talk to other girls infront of her she'll act straight. trust me

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Nurwizie

Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 07:39 pm
To Aliyah:
You need to quit imitating someone else Biatch! All I know is this: You and some other girlz like you tried to act like they are soft, but the truth is that you wanna another outsider's Dick for sho'!!!!!!!!

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lady

Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 03:58 am
Hey mire, ARE YOU SOMALI? if you are then you are the first somali man I heard who is talking about LOVE. If you are not Somali, I will be more then willing to tell you what I know.
Somalian cuture disapproves the LOVE word, You are not suppose to show that you love someone, and god forbid if u say U are inlove. we don't have even romantic words in our language. ( I am not speaking for all somalis though). We simply don't wanna show love but we all experience it. I believe if u start showing how you feel she will too.
Good luck pal

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mire

Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 10:15 am
To been there done that:
OOh I really apprecaited Your advice I treid,
It was greatly effected On her feelings,I get with
othe girl in my car and went to the movie and told
her to come to the movie,Ooh the result was painful to her,She told me that she is not no more
in love with me??I asked her if she were in love with me she Couldn't dare to say any thing! she
Just murmured and said i don't Know..As you seee
she Dont' want to say "I Love You" Like most girls
None somalians do.........somali girls Definitely
No romantic at all they need serious help for how
to love and how to show love,And heey girls take
this from me:if you don't show love,that might result on losing your lover any time,

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Mire

Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 10:28 am
to lady
what you meant by "Are you Somali?:
OOh First of all Im a somali brother,second did you think we guys like you girls don't know any
thing about romance stuff!??OOh,Come on that is what you girls have,the bottom line is my sister
Somali girls Used to cook,clean,and take care of
children,It ain't no body tell them what is Love
or How do you deal with your lover??simbly they need some lesson about that,If we Could teach we
will do it abaayo/
About Somali language deosn't have romantic words
I would say In somali You were the same Ignorant
Person,so nothing has been really changed.
If I tell you some about Romantic words,some girls
might charge me that im a homesexual person,so i
would advice you to ask one somalian brother,for
more details

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sucdi

Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 10:38 am
mire horta adi laba miirle maa tahay. cimrigaaga oo dheeraadana geel dhalaaya aa ku tusaa. gabdhaha iika aa lagu yakhaanay inay nimankooda ka masaysiiyaan.markaad aroostid aa si fiican laguu tusaa inay ku jeceshahay, haday kii lamadoo bar la hadashaba ku dhahdo waa ku jeclahay maxay siihee odogeeda.yaakhay fakar nooh baacnimada iska daa.

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latifah

Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 04:15 am
i think what mire said some of them is kinda true coz us somali girls dont like telling guys that u luv them until the guys show us that they really luv us if u know what i mean and theres some guys who find the word love easy to say just to get what they need from the girls,like attention.Anyway about the husband and wifey stuff i dont really get it coz they r already married so whats the point telling each other that they love each other i think the they know that allready anyway bye 1luv

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Ali

Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 06:01 am
A great debate..let me butt in

Why do somali girls try too hard not to show any sign of love to a somali brother?

first of all,this could be true at least from my own past experiences,I dated so many somali girls and unfortunatly the words(I love you or waan ku jecelahay)never came out of those lips ...I often I asked myself is it me?

I tried my best to make that relatioship work but it was doomed to fail in other words she dumped me for a south african guy,the second one was miss cold to the core she showed me no emotions all I got from her was orders,the days pass by and this relationship fails as usual.and then I asked myself is it the somali culture?

I know that xishood and adab are deep rooted in somali females but showing that poor man some love wont hurt!

I finally came gave up like so many other brothers and dated a white girl who started calling me baby from day 1,sweetie,honey are the every day greatings she leaves me sweet massages on my voice mail almost everyday,I would be a liar if I said I love her.but one thing I know for sure I love her ways in keeping me with simple words.

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Honesita

Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 11:09 am
Ali.......if that is all the love u guys wanna see from somali girlz then i tell u that i and every single somali girl i know have got more than just those words to say to the man we adore.....!! Those words dont bring love walaalo or even keep a relationship goin'.....they just make the talk sweeter......!!

Still no one answered my question....why do somali guys walk all over u when u show them the luv u got for them....!!!???????????????

Salaam

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lady

Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 03:22 am
well mire honey, if you are mr love boy himself I don't think you would have've any problems with your GF or any girl as the matter is concern. What is usually your problem? is it really your GF not saying I LOVE YOU or is there something else bothering you?!! ;0 I think it is a lot dieper, I think you are unsure weither she loves or not... by taking another girl out to make her jealous ??? Please ...bro, give me a break! ** when you wanna found out the true ask the person whom it concern, STOP biting behind the bush!!!
And about Somalian language not having any romatic words, I met mostly where I came from, guys call use Nayahe when trying to start a conversation.
So get your answers from your woman and if she leaves she was never for you ;0

take care!

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YoungOne

Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:55 pm
Honesista,

Pay back is a b.i.t.c.h ain't it??? in the beginning u walk all over us with your hard to get nonesense, so when u get a taste of your own medicine, u complain.

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Aliyah

Friday, March 30, 2001 - 03:34 pm
Nurwizie
what kinda name is that u bitch, why ru here for to cuss ppl, go and get a life.
Did u f**k all the white men and the jamaicans
Dont go around abusing ppl, since u have no life and no self esteem

since iam nice, i would advice u inaad wasaqda dadhka akulawin

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LiberalL

Saturday, March 31, 2001 - 08:02 pm
Mire:
Though I can't speak for all Somali girls. I think at least to my view, we see love as a sign of weakness. It has nothing to do with attitude. I personally would never tell a guy that I liked him first, b/c I view that as being weak, needy, well u get the point.

LiberalL.

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Anonymous

Sunday, April 01, 2001 - 08:59 pm
WHO THE •••• CARES!!!!!

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anongirl

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 10:00 am
mire

maybe your girl needs time?
i dont know about other somali girls..but i'm not
soo quick in saying "i love you" probably becuase
those three words hold soo much value and meaning to me..i'll want to
examine,annalyse the person i'm with throughly
before i can say that..
..frankly i get pretty discussted
when i guy says i love you without realy knowing
me. i mean that is just cheap to me. saying i love you soo easily just takes the meaning, and feeling out of the word.

somali guys think saying i love you is an
obligation in relationship..you can go out and
get to know a girl/woman without those words for haven's sake!!!
it is a real real turn-off guyss and it makes you all look liers and that is main reason why we'r always soo cautios in saying those three precious words "i love you"

my two cents :0

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Anonymous

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 10:02 am
:o

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