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Dating Outside

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Before Feb 2000): Dating Outside
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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
test

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Mad Dawg

Unrecorded Date
I've dated Black & White women and had a wonderful time. The sex was great, the intellectual exchange was fantastic, but they were just that. At the time, I thought that this was love. We got along great, the relationship was easier than most I've had with Somali women. We had "feelings" for one another etc.

But as I grew, I found out one very important thing. I was HER, she was not ME, therefore we weren't US. I didn't know who the ME was, I had no clue. Later, I also found out that she could never be me. She couldn't share the soul that I found was the ME that was missing. The soul of my ancestors. I became ME and they stayed themselves.

Now, I am the Somali African/Indigenous man and they are African American or European women. Friendship maybe, but they will not or can not relinquish their American-ness or European-ness, their ways of knowing and seeing the world, for you see, they have the "right" to be their ME, they can only be who they are because they have no social pressure to be anyone else, and the only way I can be with them, is to abandon ME.

That is not an option.

From my experience I can only deal with "Ajanab" women on a sexual basis. It's not even a remote possibility of me marrying one. The way I see it, a "Ajanab" woman can never love me cause to love me you need to know me, and to know me means, to know my father, and his father and his father and his father. A Somali woman will always have the upper hand cause this info has been passed down thru generations by her mother and her mother's mother and her mothers' mother's mother etc.. you get the picture.


So one could claim that dating outside your culture is nothing more than fulfilling "FETISH" needs.
There was a study done once that showed that people are inclined to date and marry other people who looks like them and share the same cultural backgrounds (i.e. within the race) . So based on that study, I would say yes, it is a fetish.

But what bothers me is, "actually pisses me off with Somali women", when they turn their noses up or degrade Somali men, for "Ajanab" men. How is it that they can forgive and forget all the wrong and hurt which has been caused to them by "Ajanab" men, and still hold every little thing that a few nuckle-head-brothas do, against the entire community of Somali men. Furthermore if you ask one of those so called "Ilbax" women who date outside, about marriage, they will tell you that they see it with a Somaliman & having his kids Go figure!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
TO: MAD DOWG..

BROTHER YOU ARE RIGHT BY SAYING THAT SOMALI WOMAN AND OTHER "AJANIB" WOMAN CAN NOT BE THE SAME...COZ THERE IS ALWAYS DIFF. BUT YOU SEEM TO BE MORELESS "RACIST" IN HERE INTERMS RELIG POINT OF VIEW.. WHAT IF THE LADY IS NOT SOMALI AND IS MUSLIN LADY..WILL THAT MAKE DIFF NO MATTER HER RACE!!!???? THINK TWICE BRO..

I THINK WE HAVE TO MARRY FOR RELIGOUN BASIS ALTHOUGH IT WOULD BE NICER IF THE LADIES KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU CULTURE...THAT SHOULD NOT MEAN SHE MUST ME SOMALI...

SOMALI GIRL PLZ DON`T GET ME WRONG I LOVE SOMALI LADIES AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I ADMIRE THEM..

PEACE TO YOU ALL.

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mohamedie!

Unrecorded Date
MAD DOWG, i dont know where excatly to start from but.....remember these points and follow them and never will you be abased:
1) never love women! find compatibility, yeildness, & other means of convergency
2) never marry outside your race, religion is nothing when it comes to marry, you must marry somali women and period. e.g. look the pakistani race, we r all muslim but different when maryying.
3)dominate her or brain wash her using smart techniques...every man has it's own way of doing it. never use FORCE! remember second law of Newton F1 = -F2.
4)Never feel sorry for somali girl if you see her with foriegner, instead try to retaliate, meaning, get into relationship with other white or black or whatever girl, tell her you love her when she falls, throw her away like condom. this may indirectly show these sisters of ours that all men are same......and may help them reliase whether somali men is good or not they must take the risk.......this might push them little bit to our side.......hey, one more thing if any somali girl you know has been treated bad and she tells you....dont sympatise with her, tell her oh! that was good, the guy must have been smart! or do the same to her.
5)if somali girl has been with foriegner and you know it......try to win her, if you do, give her 4 or 5 hot shots and tell her......hey that is it......we cant be togheter any more.......hey, remeber this doesnt apply to all our great respected girls, only the "sale girls" should be treated like "sale girls"!.
6) if ever you meet, decent somali girl, never dissapoint her, try to do anything you can, even try to take her to moon, because she deserves it.
7) if you marry......trust is one thing you cannot ignore..try to place everything in her hands and let her do all the decisions, believe me within 5 years she will tired of it, and that time.......is yours...

brother i think things are clear now!
bye

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Sister

Unrecorded Date
Poor Mohamedie!! you need to grow up....emotionally i mean. You are so immature and insecure. It is beyond pathetic....almost comical.
For your sake, i hope that you are still a teenager and will outgrow this immaturity.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
sister i couldent agree more.
some people should be banned form the internet.

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Suha

Unrecorded Date
Asalaamu Aleikum,

I think these kids trying to make difference, but they are not, as sister said they need to grow up. Remember Mad Dawg you are wrong, how can you rely ajnabi women for sex. I think you are not muslim, if you are you wouldn't go for sex bro. It is xaraam period. Besides don't generalize, they are alot of Somali Sisters who can satisfy you, but hey again it is xaraam, I hope you aren't carrying a disease bro, watch out hungry boy it is dangerous to be out there. Try to find a good sister, and marry her.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
oh my god, somali girls keep on saying sex is xaran only when they are talking to somali men, to jameykans and jareers everything is xalaal...cajiib!!!!!!1

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wehlka

Unrecorded Date
mohamedie, you are the man brother, i agree with u...that is the only way to send signals to our sisters so that they stay away from foriegner!

anony,
men, adiga runta saa u sheegtid aan la yaabey!

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Mad Dawg

Unrecorded Date
to all,

folks the issue is not sex, its my relationship with Ajnabi women & dealing with them. Again let me reiterate it, when it comes to marriage I can't see it with Ajnabi women cuz the Somaliwomen got all I want (not necessarily sex, that just too plenty).

And why are we being hypocrites, we (somalimen) have/had relationships with Ajnabi women, what's so secret about that, that we can't discuss in a adult manner?

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Chickenwing

Unrecorded Date
Mohamedie

You are a very pitiful man, who writes outrageously just to shock people. You don't shock me! I know guys like you: they are just hot talk. From your writing I can tell you probably live alone, or the only company you have are your parents and siblings. And I can bet you with that attitude you have no girlfriend in your life let alone a somali one.

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Ma Dawg

Unrecorded Date
GOODLOVER

Not to break my arm patting myself on the back, but I believe myself to be a "GREAT LOVER".

I believe that in order to be a GREAT LOVER, a man has to be able to tune into a womans train of thought. He has to develop an aura about him that is magnetic. He has to be strong, but non-threatening.

A woman has to be able to feel totally comfortable with allowing him into her world. She has to be able to let down her guard, and be vunerable around him, before she can achieve the erotic heights that ALL WOMEN have the capacity to reach. The man is simply the catalyst. The spark to ignite her roaring flame of passion that has been laying dormant far to long.

I was taught by my father that there is no such thing as a frigid woman, there are simply inept men.

A man has to have a burning desire to be a great lover. He has to want to please his woman, or the woman he is with.

It takes more than flowers and candy. It takes more than candle light dinners and bubble baths. Any man can buy flowers and candy, but he has to have sincerity to be a GREAT LOVER.

I don't believe that a man has to be IN LOVE with A WOMAN to be a great lover FOR HER. Although he has to have a sincere love FOR WOMEN to be the great lover that she needs, whether he will be her lover for one night, or maybe just one moment in time.

When a man develops a burning desire to be a great lover, he will humble himself, and seek out knowledge. He will become a scholar of women and their emotions. When he realizes through years of study and experimentation, that the mind controls everything, and the body is but a vessel, THEN, and only then, will he become a GREAT LOVER.

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BLESSED

Unrecorded Date
JUST READING HOW YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF AS BEING A GREAT LOVER AND ALL........ PUTS GREAT FEAR IN MY HEART WONDERING AS TO HOW MANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION HAS RIVETED YOUR POOR SOUL AND THE FESTERING GENITAL WARTS YOU ARE STILL TREATING TO THIS DAY!!!!!!!!!

GENERAL SURGEONS WARNING- BE SMART AND WEAR A GLOVE AT ALL TIMES.

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Dr Ruth

Unrecorded Date
Blessed, couldn't agree with you more sis. This guy Ma dawg is a classic d***head!!! Guys who have size issues usually go on elaborate descriptions, sometimes they get clinical in their theorizing. Sadly however, most of their "conquests" is in the realm of fantasy and dreams.

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mohamedie

Unrecorded Date
chikenwang, lol....i dont think we all have problems finding bad somali girl........they r everywhere, the most important is to offer them money and she is yours!.....i am sure you have -F in analytic reasoning since u said i am alone!
anyway tell us, how else are we suppose to treat you when u go fall for smelling "jareers". if glance what i have wrote this only implies to bad girls not the good respected somali girls..so those of u who have criticised me are the ones i am talking about, hey no hard feelings i know why u r so heated.....!!!!!!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
The Ten Secrets of Life

THE FIRST SECRET ----
The Power of Thought.

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him or her when you meet him or her.

THE SECOND SECRET ----
The Power of Respect.

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself: "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself: "What do I respect about them?"

THE THIRD SECRET ----
The Power of Giving.

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

THE FOURTH SECRET ----
The Power of Friendship.

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

THE FIFTH SECRET ----
The Power of Touch.

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

THE SIXTH SECRET ----
The Power of Letting Go.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of
all my fears, the past has no power over me-today is the beginning of a new life."

THE SEVENTH SECRET ----
The Power of Communication.

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and... why are you waiting?

THE EIGHTH SECRET ----
The Power of Commitment.

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

THE NINTH SECRET ----
The Power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are
the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

THE TENTH SECRET ----
The Power of Trust.

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell
whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself: "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", then you must think very carefully before you make any type of a commitment.

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mohamed ibrahim

Unrecorded Date
to mohamedie,

brother grow up!!.......please also stop applying laws of physics if you dont know what they actually mean...nature wont forgive you when you misuse them.......ilaaheyna ha ku soo hanuuniyo!

to ma dawg,

men who realy do things the right way never talk about it, he leaves these discusions to the girls to judge, they should be saying how good lover you are, not self advertising, the good lover, he waits for the right time and do things correctly without "faan"...nin is faaniyey, lax is nuugta ayaa dhaanta...so keep your things with you.......i am sure no somali girl will get horny behind her computer just because she read your topic.........chill!!

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Chickenwing

Unrecorded Date
mohamadie

How tragic! you admit that you must offer money to girls to get their company. So what does that tell about you? Follow Mohamed Ibrahim's advice: grow up!

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Mad Dawg

Unrecorded Date
mohamed ibrahim despite myself, you had me cracking with laughter, no isma faanin just stating points and open discussion.

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Diehard

Unrecorded Date
let not attack this two honorable somali worriors namely Mad dawg and mohamedie . hut off to you guys for youir outstanding contribution to this enlightening topic
surely we need to take agrassive action towards those who astray from the moral path of our culture
I am a man who strongly believe that God created the Somali women only for somali man ,Arab women for Arab man , nigerian women for ngerian and etc,
If God wanted to mix people ,He could have created all Men from one particular race and all women one race, but no He didn't do that He gave every race(nationality ) almost equal numbers of men and women so that they can keep to themselves.He told us quote " I have created you into nations and tribes so You can know each other" unquote Then allowing the mixing of races or nationality will create confusion and make diffuclt for the ummah to know each other.

any support or harsh comment is anticipated:

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cariif.

Unrecorded Date
Mad dawg and mohamedie.

You guys are very strange in your own ways. But to let you know that god does not forgive those who go public with their sins, you should keep low profile and to yourselves about what kind of life you lead or had had in the past.

Besides, sex is an instinct that acts out independently when being performed even if the doers are first timers.

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BLESSED

Unrecorded Date
I STILL DON'T GET THE POINT TO THIS DISCUSSION. OR ARE THE GENTS JUST RELEASING SOME STEAM.......
FIND OTHER MODES OF RELEASE FELLAS.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
mohamedie, diehard, mawdang are the real boom somali men, men we have to ffuck such girls and throw them away like condom......men mohamedie, lets exchange emails bro.............

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Yasmine

Unrecorded Date
I'm really shocked! What is this dating and boyfriend/girlfriend crap? Have you lost your identities as Muslims and as Somalis when you all came to the US Canada Europe or wherever? Our country may be inaccessible to us at the moment, but the least we can do is uphold our culture and our traditions. Take advantage of the opportunities that are available to you in these foreign lands, pursue your educations, support your families, but NEVER forget who you are. Somalis have thus far made a name of shame for themselves, that we're lazy, directionless, ignorant, and always looking for handouts. Let's end this stereotype and reclaim our pride as a
people. One day we will go back home -- let's hope that when that day comes we've all made something of ourselves and have something to contribute to our precious land. Insha Allah Tacaalah.
Isku xishooda!

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Ansaari

Unrecorded Date
Salamu aleykum!

Oh, brothers! Fear your Allaah.
Oh! Have you forgoten that this life (in dunya)
is so short?. Don't only live for this Dunya's, but Aakhira.

And ask always forgiveness for you Lord, Allaah, because He is "Qafuuru Raxiim".

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Anon

Unrecorded Date
Ansaari, why don't you fear allah yourself. changing usernames and then insulting people, by calling them ignorant and gaal (in other pages). Are you in the people's niyah that you are able to see and evaluate their taqwa and iman. Brother, i had a high opinion of you before, but you are just another two faced Somali with an agenda. Disgusting.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
If you have experience whatever she is talking about, then how can you pass judgment on it. it is clear that women from different backgrown will offer somethings that are different. Question is what do you want? it is sex, sex and more sex, then stick with the "ajanabi" one. if you are interested in mediocre sex, a woman that accepted by the entourage and so on, then go with the somali on.
later

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TILBURGNOORD

Unrecorded Date
TILBURGNOORD
MAD DAWG,MOHAMADIE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
YOU GUYS HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD,FOR ME I HAD TOO MANY WHITE DUTCH WOMEN RUNNING AFTER ME ,BUT
I COULDNT DREAM OF MARRYING OUT OF MY RACE,
HOW CAN I FORGET,A SOMALIWOMENS BODY,WEARING A DIRAC,WITH A SMAL BLACK GOORGARO,WHILE BEING ALL THE WAY TOPLESS,THE THOUGHT OF IT MAKES ME SALIVATE,
AS FOR THE BROS AND SISTERS MARRYING OUTSIDE OUR SOMALI PPL, I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM ,IN THE END ,WE CAN LIVE WITH NON OTHER THAN SOMALIS,I HOPE WE BECOME UNIQUE,JUST LIKE INDIANS AND PAKISTANIS,
THEIR RACE BACOMES FIRST WHEN IT COMES TO MARRYING .IN HOOLAND ALOT OFF OUR WOMEN FLIRT WOTH OTHER RACES AND WHEN DISCOVERED THEY BECOME MARKED FOR LIFE,AND MEN WHOMARRY DUTCH WOMEN,HAVE TO WASH DISHES ON THIER TURN OR ELSE THEY ARE KICKED OUT OF HOUSES . MANY GUYS CANT COME WITH IN 300 METERS FROM THIER CHILDRENS HOUSE,WHICH IS VERY DEVASTATING TO THE SOAMLI MAN KNOWING THAT TRIBAL CHAIN WE HAD,
AND AND THE CHILDREN ARE TAKEN TO THE CHURCH ,FED WITH PORK,
SIDAA DARTEEDD MAD DAWG IYO MOHAMDIE ,,,,,,
YOU GUYS STATED IT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,. THANKS.

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najma

Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 01:25 am
You are right anon
race is nothing. the most important thing is religion.

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