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My Husband & I are Constantly Fighting is that Usual?

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Mar. 2000 - August 2000): My Husband & I are Constantly Fighting is that Usual?
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Iman

Unrecorded Date
Selaamz,
I just got married a little while ago to the man of my dreams. I met him about a while back and married him a while into our relationship. We both
work, and make good living. We both graduated from college & have good jobs. We live in a very remote town, that has absolutely no Somalis. We both love each other Madly and live comfortably.
But the problem is that lately we argue about the smallest of the things. I mean sometimes I just laugh at what we argue about. We have arguments now & then, but one way or another we appologize to each other. We argue about stupid things like the "Elian Gonzalez" issue. And we both get pissed off, but only for a few hours at most. At first I thought it was usual, since we never lived together before, and that we both have different upbringings and so on, but now I think it may be more that.
So, what do you guys think?

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Alex

Unrecorded Date
Hello.

It's Ok for couples to have disagreements. It's more like different opinion on an issue.
I would suggest that before you go to bed at night kiss and make up and go to bed happy.

Take care.

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MAD MAC

Unrecorded Date
I think Alex' advice is right on. You don't always have to agree, as long as you always respect each other. IT doesn't sound like anything unhealthy at this point.

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
KEEP YOUR MAN BABE, IT IS OK, BUT DON'T LET HIT YOU...HITING IS THE BOUNDRIES.........GET IT

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
How is your sex life?I think your problem is bigger than what you are admitting.Are you mutilated?If the answer is positive then that is the problem.

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londoner

Unrecorded Date
i think that one problem under rules this is that when you were together you saw all of his good sides and not equally good and bad that's one thing that i have realised myself, so look at your relationship in your marriage thoroughly and talk it over and maybe you could that way form a pattern with one another.

take care
haney

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Caraweelo

Unrecorded Date
Iman-
Look at it this way- as long as you are "arguing" you are communicating! The first year of any marriage- like any new partnership is basically about getting to know each other- understanding each others weaknesses and strengths etc.
So my dear sister- do not dispair! Use the "arguements"- turn them into "discussions" and get to know your partner!
Actually it helps to speak after both of you have calmed down and start the discussion with
"I felt that you ....."
Repeat what he said and what it made you feel.
You have decided to spend your life with this man- MAKE IT WORK!!!!

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Hebel

Unrecorded Date
Get a divorce!!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
I guess that you blackmailed the poor guy into marrying you by refusing to have sex until you two got married. Now he thinks that the sex isn't great and living with you (a stranger) is lousy. My advice to girls like you is to live with your boyfriends for a while. Have sex with them. Get to learn them etc etc. And then make the decision to marry. If you think what I am saying is crazy then you are about to do it yourself, only that you will have learnt it the hard way - and you will have had a marriage in between!

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TROUBLEGIRL

Unrecorded Date
CARAWEELO + ALEX....
I loved your advice

HEBEL.....
CEEB WARYAA..Cida ha kala dirin waa ku saaay?

Iman
Sis whatever the reasons are there should be SABAR in the relationship. I know someone who got married 2 yrs ago, and they beat the lights out of each other. Well what can I say ..RESPECT + PATIENCE = GREAT SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
I hope that you will be naag Gurigeeda and ninkeeda ka adag.....Inshallah I am sure U can make it HAPPEN sis....The more you SABAR the more you will be rewarded by ALLAH....

PEACE

TROUBLE

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