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SHOULD I LEAVE OR STAY WITH MY BOYFRIEND

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Mar. 2000 - August 2000): SHOULD I LEAVE OR STAY WITH MY BOYFRIEND
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SWEETLADY

Unrecorded Date
HI, THIS STORY IS A BIT CRAZY BUT SINCE I SAW PEOLE WRITNG ABOUT LOVE, I THOUGHT I SHOULD POST MY PROBLEM HERE AND I NEED SOME REAL ADVICE FROM BOTH SISTERS AND BROTHERS.

I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR ALMOST 6 MONTHS. THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF A RELATIONSHIP THAT I DREAMED OF BECAUSE I AND THE GUY ARE BROUGHT UP DIFFERENTLY. HIS FAMILY IS STRICKED AND MY FAMILY IS KIND OF COOL WITH RELATIOSHIPS. MY MOTHER WOULD TELL ME TO BRING MY GUY HOME AND HIS FAMILY IS TOTALLY OUT OF BOUNCE. WHEN I TELL HIM SOME THING ABOUT MY FAMILY HE WOULD BE SHOCKED.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HE IS A KIND OF A GUY WHO DOES NOT SHOW FEELINGS ON THE PHONE.

I AM AFFRAID TO END UP WITH A PERSON WHO IS DIFFERENT FROM ME BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE FOOLING AROUND.

SO WHAT IS YOUR SUGGESTIONS.

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Muriidi

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Sweetlady

Him and his family are better than you and your family. If you love him, please save him from you and your "TERRIBILE" family.

You are a lost family, so save him the embarassment and tell the poor guy he could do better than messing with you.

Peace

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OPSODOS

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Muriidi

Spare us the drama of trying to be the ultra conservative person you really are not. Its so not hip to assault someone the way you did. Get with the program. I wonder what your actions are behind closed doors....do you practice what you preach.......hmmmmm!

Sweetlady

Stand for what you believe in and what your heart tells you is right. Follow your instincts,,,, what are the vibes you're getting from being with this guy. Only you can make the final judgement call. Wishing you the best of luck.

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Sam

Unrecorded Date
You are right this is a crazy story.
First, lets be clear about the issues here, there is no such thing as Strick and Cool Muslim,

There is only one:

A Muslim is a true believer of Islam and adheres to All its principles. You cant take the pieces you like and leave the ones you dont like. You cant decide to be cool or strick, No its not a choice.

If you are a real Muslim you enjoy what is Halal and stay away from what is Haram. Very simple.

No body can force you to be a Muslim. You have to be a true believer in your heart. And if you are a true believer, then you would obviously do what is right and choose the Halal things.

So its up to you to choose the life you want. But remember that one day you will answer for all your actions.

If you decide to get married one of you will have to choose which life they should adopt, because you cant have it both ways.

The religion is not like Burger King ! you cant have it your way !!!!

May Allah guide us all.

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MAD MAC

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Sweetlady
Ignore the rest of the morons here. Clearly individuals of limited intellect. The problem you are definately going to have with this guy is that he will surely expect you to comply with fairly strict Islamic interpretation. Unless you are ready to do that you need to move on. I had a friend who married just such a guy (he was a good guy, but had a very strict interpretation of Islam) and after two years they split. His expectations where different from hers and it just created too much tension between them and their families. It is unlikely that he is going to change. Even if he wanted to, and it doesn't sound like he does, the family pressure would be intense. I had a Somali girlfriend and I was not allowed to even meet her family - they didn't even know I existed.

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OPSODOS

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mad mac:

Firstly you have no right to come here and insult people. Are you Somali? from reading this posting and the other......it seems as though you are of other persuasion! Unless you are mistaken this is SOMALINET!!!!!! So please don't trample on our values and morals.

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HinT

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Mad Mac, I wonder why they were not interested in your existance. Was it the attitude ? The self righteous, self centred, obnoxious, filthy, I am the king of bull,,,attitude ? or was it something more than that ?

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SWEETLADY

Unrecorded Date
TO SAM

FIRST OF ALL I RESPECT MY RELIGION AND THAT MY PARENTS ARE VERY STRICKED IN THE DIIN. BUT WHAT I SAID WAS NOT ABOUT ISLAM, IT WAS ABOUTTWO DIFFERENT FAMILIES THAT ARE OPPOSITE IN CULTURE. A FAMILY THAT THEIR CHILDREN CANNOT RECEIVE A PHONE CALL FROM HE OPPOSITE SEX AND A FAMILY THAT IS WANTS TO KNOW WHO THEIR DAUGHTER IS MESSING AROUND WITH. THE RELIGION DOES NOT SAY THAT YOU CAN NOT BRING YOUR PARTNER HOME. I BELEIVE THAT FAMILY COME FIRST AND IT IS BETTER FOR THEM TO SEE THE ACTIONS THAT YOUR GUY IS DOING. IF THE GUY RESPECT THE FAMILY HE WOULD RESPECT YOU AS WELL.

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SWEETLADY

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--TO MURRIDI-

EXPLAIN YOUR OPINION PLEASE. THERE IS NO FAMILY THAT IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT.

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MAD MAC

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Opsodos
OK, OK. To all whoom I've insulted, please accept my humble apologies. And I am quite Galka.

To Hint
The parents didn't know I existed because she was afraid to tell them she was seeing a non-Somali (not to mention a white non-muslim). So it wasn't a question of why they didn't want to meet me. They didn't know I existed. But to your point, I'll be the first to admit I suffer from hubris on occassion. And of course, I also admit I have fun sometimes pulling Somali chains. It's pretty easy to get you guys worked up. It's nothing personal, it's just fun to watch you get worked up. I do it to all my Somali friends too, although they're starting to catch on now and it takes a lot more to get a rise out of them. Nabad Gelyo Abowe.

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Anonymous

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Actually, Im kinda curious about you MAD MAC, I have seen your name in so many different topics... What's with your fixation on Somali ppl??? I mean I know we are the best ppl on earth, but damn you don't have to sweat us like that!

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Anonymous

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Mad Mac (or whatever):

Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? There is no doubt in my mind that you are (unfortunately) Somali so cut the crap.

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Sam

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Mad Mac"

Save the drama for the immigration department,,,we are stocked up here.

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SWEETLADY

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TO ALL

CUT THE CRABAND ANSWER MY QUESTIONS. I OPENED THIS PAGE AND I WILL LIKE TO SEE SOME COMMENTS AOUT MY CONCERNS.
PLEASE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. USE YOUR TIME WISELY

CHECK MY POEM IN THE POETRY PAGE IT IS CALLED
(WHY DO I SEEM CRAZY)

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MAD MAC

Unrecorded Date
Well Abai
I already gave the best answer I could. And as you can see from the above, conflict in beliefs, even if you have the same religion, can be difficult to work around. Good luck. Hope things work out for you.

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TROUBLEGIRL

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MAD MAC....
Listen Millitary boy.......I like your style.... but you get side tracked from time-to-time... But Badgirl can deal with it....

SAM.....
IMMIGRATION DEPT....LOL

SWEETLADY....
Damn girl....were you in KUWAIT during the GULF WAR? U giving orders like Saddam...Ok seriously my advice to you sweety is STAND behind your PRINCIPLES.....& Vice principles..LOL....Never settle for less. girl... DO YOUR THANG

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
madmac
habartaa buufkeed, anagagaaba na cayhaysaa miyaa
bur camal aan kuu cajimaa,saqaab aa ku dhashaye

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MAD MAC

Unrecorded Date
Anonymous
Abowe, I can't speak Somali. Well, not much anyway. Sorry. I know I need to work on it but it's a hard language!!!! And finding formal instruction is damn near impossible. Anyway, I'll need a translation if you want me to catch what you wrote.
Troublegirl: Thanks. I need all the allies I can get. As you can see I'm under siege here. The beginning was hard in Eastleigh too though.

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HODON

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HEY , PPL ME AND MY B/F ALWAYS FIGHT BECOUSE WE HAVE DIFFERENT VALUES HE BELEIVE OLD SOMALIAN CULTURE BUT I BEEN IN THE US FOR HELF OF MY LIFE . I AM NOT USALLY SOMALIGIRL BUT I BELEIVE IN CULTURE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT HIM TOO CHANGE . I WANT HIM TO THINK THAT WE ARE EQUAL BECOUSE WE WANT TO SHARE LIFE TOGHTER HE DOESN'T THINK THAT WE ARE EQUAL . WHAT SHOULD I DO ? AND I CAN'T BEAKUP WITH BECOUSE THIS MISUNDERSTANDING ANY HELP HERE IS MY EMAIL YASMINTA@HOTMAIL.COM

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Surfer

Unrecorded Date
Hodon, I am more concerned about your inability to write, considering the fact that you have been in the US half your life!!!! Please, do yourself a favour and learn how to write proper English. What you wrote above is pathetic!!!

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loser

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To:Hodon
What is lier go chaines resturante and eat sneak
brain, because half of your brain you lost in USA.
Hey cut your topic in this page, because is not your page. have respecte people who open this page.

HE BELEIVE
OLD SOMALIAN CULTURE BUT I BEEN IN THE US FOR HELF OF MY LIFE . I AM NOT USALLY OMALIGIRL BUT I BELEIVE IN CULTURE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT HIM TOO CHANGE.
Lol Lol LOl
Learn How to talk.

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ExTrEmE

Unrecorded Date
loser, why should you call your self loser when you talk about a respected topic, with respect.

Change your name, because you deserve better.

Peace.

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loser

Unrecorded Date
To: EXTrEmE
Sometime lost my control, that is why.
Nothing much problem.

Take care.

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