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AM I A DREAMER?

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Mar. 2000 - August 2000): AM I A DREAMER?
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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
Recently i've been seriously examining the meaning of "finding"/"attaining" the right mate. For those true believers out there, or sinics for that matter! is finding Mr/Ms Right out of the question. As a Muslim first, Somali second I feel that I have lived my young life accordingly, upholding my religion and culture. This question I have personally asked myself many-a-times, am I selling myself short ... do I need a reality check?

I guess you can say that I am a perfectionist and what my mate to posess the same characteristics as I. Is it possible..... do I need to conform?

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oldschool

Unrecorded Date
Dear Exceptional;


You are asking right question. And Tell you what EXCEPTIONAL!, it is all about fate. Somalis says "Guur waa nasiibe gacalkaa ha seegin". I sometimes wonder if the whole life was an accident!. I am not talking about interms of the SUPREME' will but our will as human beings. Nothing go the way we do expect, yet we can't sit back and say we will be depend on our fate or our will. you know, we have to struggle to find what we want.
And back to your question, brother/sister. Yeah, you are big time dreamer but No you are not daydreamer. I guess you know the difference.Dream is damn cool and it is all about future vision. it is all about setting life's objectives and solving its mystery. And you are on damn right track to discover your own world. Don't come back.just keep on rolling and surfing your way up. I can guarantee you that somewhere on the middle of the road, there will be someone/champanion waiting you. It is possible that the person is not the type you now have in mind. Or he/she doesn't ahve the criteria that you have in mind but i can tell you this person even if she/he is the total opposit of what you expect from your future spouse, he/she will come her/his flour. And it is all that flour that makes the diffence and make you smille. So please keep on dreaming but don't let the dream carry away with you. There is someone waiting you to pick on the way. Good luck!.

OldSchool.

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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
OldSchool

Thanks for the great advice. As an educated Somali woman I feel as though my male counterpart is somewhere in the works......I can't find him! maybe he is in some factory getting his final touch-ups ;) But I can't help but dream, I want to preserve my culture, identity and still have the cake too! you know how it goes.

I guess i'm guilty of having a check list, but to this point none of the criterias not even one for that matter .05 has been met! that is a dilemma isn't it?

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shukri

Unrecorded Date
Exceptional, don't despair, they are only suffering from the "slackyard's syndrome"....it is curable according to some reliable sources:)

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
and IM a screamer

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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
shukri thanks walaal, but that doesn't help -- when will they be cured???

To this day I haven't heard nor seen someone who's a possible potential! maybe I need to purchase a GIGANTO magnifying glass so I can look into every nook N' cranny! where are all the educated men.... probably shacking up with some GAAL/foreigner/reer badiyo FOB --- fresh off the boat!

Ladies maybe we shall do the same! get a young guy who doesn't know a thing about western culture -- have him stay home, well the rest is self explanatory!

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hebel

Unrecorded Date
and IM the midnight runner.

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Yaska

Unrecorded Date
Salaam 'aleukum;

EXCEPTIONAL;

I liked your last solution proposal, Unforgunetly it has high degreee of drawbacks compared with laddies case. You know even our(Men) badiyo want to hold the steering of company..... we think it belong to us :)- just kidding!


About your searching, I suggest you not to rest until you find the "ONE" you want. May be you are applying weak/wrong algoriths for your searching equations. try very realiable, strong, standard, very well known Algorithms.

Good luck !

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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
Yaska

And what are those Algorithms....? Perhaps you could share them!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
To Exceptional;
I will add that you preserve your Self and culture,and the cake as well, there's some one for you out there and there's some body for every body,(This is the mathmatics of the SUPREME)
one day your Dream will come true while you'r cool,sitting, waiting for mr RIGHT.
We are all passing through a situations of unseen before filled with culture shooks and surprises,and the detroreation of our existance.
i want to tell you, this will soon pass, and wait for a while with a patience,and also foreigners have to wait.....

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ahmadeou

Unrecorded Date
Exceptional:


HHHHMMMMMMmmmm... It seems to me like you are singing "caashaaqaa i soo riday
aan ka raysto hawshee .
sowma raaca koo0 leeee "
--not kaan rabay.
ahahahaha. Yahoo!Hoo, girl you sound so desperate!. And i like that cuz hadda ka hor aad igu xumeysay. By the way,I know some Camelboys in our jungle waiting to be tamed. wanna one?. if you do, gimme a call. I will fix you up. OR else if you need Gaal, MAD MAC here. You can give him a call. I swear the gaal is tired of jerking off in the military brackades and he will be happy to have you. Good luck.

Ahmadeou.

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Sumaya

Unrecorded Date
Salaama Caleykum

Dear:EXCEPTIONAL

Abaayo when read your comments the way I understood your not selling yourself, your expressing what you think and how it works but as you said about Educated lady may be you have Standers that is why all men moved back, so come down forget same of your thinking may be it will work, Allah knows best. But my advice for you is
that to look for man with faith and good Manners that is what our Prophet Muhomed said (swc)

Your's Sumaya

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analyzer

Unrecorded Date
exceptionally thoughful but lonely lady,
oh yeah, as you asked .....? your standard's are not meant to be met...you know gravity is men's worst enemy in this case...
you know why i am saying this....well, according to your above posting.."To this day, i haven't seen nor heard ......possible potential" or may be you overlooked your potential patners qualities or you might get lucky...i don't know...... it would not hurt to look back traces that some guys left for you....

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oldschool

Unrecorded Date
Exceptional:
Don't you tell me that you gonna give up. Believe me they are out there--few here , some there, others out here, some slackyards out in "habar kuulay's house" and much more. Im talking about what you called "a possible potential". Keep on surfing. And yours is somewhere on the planet. He is also busy searching you all over the places. ANd one day you will be chilling.

shukri:
is that you ? ahahaha. nice to see you again slackyard!
oldschool.

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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
Thanks for all the comments most positive but some haters I see in the crowds as well.....
Well for those who want to hate that is your perogative.....pas moi! Anyways.... that's the thing with Somali men I've noticed they can't play hard ball so what do they do when someone has standards..... call them desperate!!!!

Stay blessed......

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
To Exceptional:
I am one of the people gave you positive advice to you,as a saw it.....but your divination..... (THAT's THE THING WITH SOM MEN)is contradicting,.... to me any way,.... I thought when the moment of your waiting comes you will not impose any predisposition.
as our friend Yaska wrote erlier may be you are the one not playing the hard ball,good enough.

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EXCEPTIONAL

Unrecorded Date
Anonymous:

What do you mean exactly when you say that i'm not the one playing hard ball enough??? I don't think our men respond well to trivial pursuits....case in point some of the responses in the threads!


KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING --- APPRECIATE THEM! MUCHAS GRACIAS.

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Anonymous

Sunday, July 02, 2000 - 04:03 am
I meant the "not enough " is, that you are not spicying things up.. and you have a condition.. so you have to come down and touch and keep your feet on the ground.. then the rest will fellow..
Somali men are very specific when it comes to a wife and a family there's certain points to be concered as the our Sunna teachings says,(Hadeetyh ) man can merry a one in 3 conditions.1 with her prettyness,2.with her money or because of her family....if you are not level to this then the personality and the manners matters....
and you are also threatening bringing the foreigner matter..
peace..

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shaakir

Monday, July 10, 2000 - 08:56 am
Asalaamu calaykum:
To exceptional:'
I am glad that u have the courage and concern to pinpoint and identify your ordeal coz only and only after clear and comprehesible description of any problem, can we than search for the apprapriate remedy, in your case, the MR right:
However, i would like to remind u the premise of allah holds on any aspect of human trait and nature, that is, namely( ALLAH has expliciteyly stated in his holy Qur'an that " mas was created in a week nature)( the aayah, says" wakhuliqal insaana daciifan,): not matter what guidelines,and criterions you set for yourself, monouvering this mine_field of mate selection, the one whome u will settle with is bound to certain leverl of weakness: SO, MY ADVISE TO U, IS, SETTLE WITH THE RELEGIOUS AND MORALITY SOUND ONE, THIS IS NOT MY ADVISE, IT IS THE ADVISE OF OUR MOST BELOVED PROPHET MAXAMED( PBU);

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j.m.

Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 03:21 am
what is the the right mate that we are talking about? there is no such thing as the right mate; there is only the mate whom you choose to put up with and to ignore his or her problems. if you married someone for the looks, the looks will fate away one day; if you married someone for the money; money can not buy love and happiness all the times; if you married somone for education, not all educated people have good personality, not all of them have the looks and the money that will make you happy. the only way you can put up with someone or ignore his or her problems is if you love him or her. first thing first----fall inlove with the person you want to share life with. fall inlove does not mean you should sleep with. it means you should get to know and ask many questions regarding to the way you would like to live together with him or her. if this person fits the bills; is someone you can look at and smile at him or her whenever you see him or her interms of attractiveness; is someone who can make you laugh; somone who is a friendly; is a responsible; not known to do bad things; is honest to you; then go for it. do not just look for and say i want only an educated man/woman; a beautiful woman/man; a wealthy woman/man.

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