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TORN BETWEEN MOTHER'S LOVE AND MY STEP FAMILY!!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Somali Women's Forum: Archive (Mar. 2000 - August 2000): TORN BETWEEN MOTHER'S LOVE AND MY STEP FAMILY!!
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SHUKRI

Friday, June 16, 2000 - 07:11 am
I'ts a family feud.I'ts a curse from ancestrol decscendents.I'ts a result of somali men having more than one wife. It's having half brothers and sisters.It's other woman's children,not all family together.I'ts hate,cruelty,jelousy,competition,fights and all the drama that is common in movie plots.Dear forrum i am saying does this happen in other somali families?
My father married three wives and together we are like twenty something siblings.You'll think we loveeeeee each other and respect each other.WRONG!!! We haaaaaate each other!!!!I am the daughter of the last mother, which they always say (baaaxaa majeerteen)-there is Baxaa' isaac and baxaaa mareexaan'!!Our dad died in early 80's.Am only 21 and growing up to blood sisblings as total strangers.I am torn between the love of my mother who forbids me to talk to my half siblings,and between the normal obligation that blood relatives should have.To understand more about my mothers reason to forbid me you have to to know us.All i can say is the others hate my mother but yet love us?whats that?So is this problem common?

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Biibto

Friday, June 16, 2000 - 10:36 pm
Asalaamu caleykum
Shukri sis is common problem between families. Don’t think is only u guys hundreds of families around world whether it is somalis or arabs have this kind problem. Walaal waa cilad xun oo ku beeranta usrooyinka oo walaalaha ahi. Haduu ilahay idiin kasay in ay xumi idinku dhax beeranto waxaa lagaaga bahan yahay:-
1. Sabir aad u badan
2. Dulqaad oo aad u dulqadatid wax waliba oo lagu yeleeyo hana ku day’yan.
3. Si cadaalad ku dheehan u wada ixtiraam walaalahaa oo ha kala xigsan
4. Ilahay ka bari in uu niyadiin saafi ka dhigo oo aad noqotaan hal family oo isku dhagan.
Sis I know is a very confusing problem which u can not get out no matter what u do. My advise to u is pray salaatul istiqaara or xaaja and ask Allah in uu dhibatadani idinka feedo oo niyadiina isku furo, noqotaana kuwo walaalo ah oo isku dhaw. salaad waliba oo aad tukatana ilahay ku bari. Insha Allah waxaan rajenayaa in uu ilahay dhaxdiina nabad dhigo (Amin).

Hadii aan wax qalad iri cafis & masaamax.

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Asmahan Isse

Tuesday, June 20, 2000 - 01:09 am
Shukri Shukri my sister STEP FAMILY is not only a somali problem.People in UTAH STATE marry more than one wife. Are they somalis?Tackle your problems and don't look for cheap excuses.

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daahir

Wednesday, June 21, 2000 - 03:44 am
Dear Shukri,

The problem is, I think, that Somali step-mothers are extremely cruel to their step-children.
I am saying this from a personal experience, my Mom died when I was 3 years old, Dad married within a year, step-mom could have become a true mother for me, but for some reason, instead she did everything get rid of me, including I am told among other things, an attempt to poison me when I was only 5 years old.(I remember I wished she succeeded, so I could join my mother.)
After that, my maternal uncle came to rescue me from dad and his wife, but again there was of course another step-mother, but luckily this time I had my uncle, who saw in me a little bit of his beloved late sister and took great care of me.

I don't like my stepmother, but I love my brothers and sisters.
Maybe your half-brothers and sisters don't like your mother because she's been cruel to them ? I am not accusing, just wondering, why not ask them why, I'm sure they'll appreciate the gesture.


I feel like understanding you completely.

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Sumaya

Wednesday, June 21, 2000 - 12:05 pm
Salaama Caleykum

Dear: Shukri

Abaayo nothing wrong with more sibling my father married more four wifes that is normal, and we proud that, so cool down, talk to your bro/sis
tell them you love insha Allaahu everything wil away oneday.

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JAMILA

Tuesday, July 18, 2000 - 10:10 am
I CAN'T SAY I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN UR SHOE BUT WHAT I CAN SAY TO MY SIS IS MAKE DUA ASK ALLAH (SW)TO GUIDE U + UR WHOLE FAMILY MAKE ALL THERE HEARTS CLEAN SIS WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER ON THIS PLANET WHEN DAYS BECOME OVER AND ONE HAS TO GO AKHIRA U FACE UR OWN REALITY IN FRONT OF ALLAH. SO MY ADIVICE TO U IS MAKE DUA EVERY SEC IN UR LIFE TRY TO SHOW U MOM AND SIBLINGS THE RIGHT WAY TO DEAL WITH EACH. I COME FROM I FAMILY OF 8KIDS AND A MOM SHE IS MY AUNTY SHE TAKES CARE OF ALL OF US WE ARE NOT BLOOD SIBLINGS BUT WE ARE ALL COUSINS WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND RESPECT ONE OTHER . TO TELL U THE TRUTH THE REAOSN EVERYTHING WORKS WELL IN MY HOME IS WE ALL COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT AND MOST OF ALL VALUE OUR DIIN WE TRY TO FOLLOW AND PRACTICE ISLAM PRINCIPLES. MY DEAR SIS IF ONE PARCTICES THE DIIN WELL EVERYTHING HAS A WAY OF WORKING OUT. MAY ALLAH MAKE UR AFFAIRS EASY ONES AND INSHALLAH I WILL MAKE DUA FOR U AND THE FELLOW MUSLIMS MAY ALLAH GUIDE ALL OF US TO THE RIGHT PATH AMIIN AMIINN . GOOD LUCK SIS.

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