     Mahmood | Sunday, July 02, 2000 - 11:25 pm
I don't believe and I cannot conceive that a gaal nows every aspect of Somalia (with many factual mistakes). I don't understand his point.
Maybe he reads all the books, so can enter the forums and tease.
But I think some Somali kicked his *** so now he is taking revenge on the forums. |
| Anonymous | Monday, July 03, 2000 - 05:18 am
mahmood GET ALIFE! |
| wagax | Monday, July 03, 2000 - 06:05 am
mahmood
yeah .... big time ... get a life... who give f*** if anyone knows about somalia |
| NeefoowKaniini | Monday, July 03, 2000 - 06:17 am
,,,,kulligeenbo Waxaan wada noqonay koo Guulwada ahaay oo la dhihi jiray **Jaalle Dacwaan kuu qabaa ** oo kolkuu ku arkaba isagoo shakisan ku yiraaha " Jaalle Dacwad baan kuu qabaa ee ina mari Orientatinka" isagoo kugu tuhmaya inaad sirta Waddanka aad ka gaddo oo aad u soo jaajuusto Amxaarada,,, Waar horta yaa Cadaw ah oo yaase Walaal ah,,Yaa Jaajuus ah yaasa loo Jaajuusaa yaa Qaran ah yanse Qaran ahayn,,Waxleen Qarinoonaa yaan uQarinoonaa yaansa ka qarinoonaa!!!!!!..... |
| mOw | Tuesday, July 04, 2000 - 10:02 pm
Yeah Neefow.
Mohamud.
get a life,definitely religion is privete, Gaal or not its no one business, every one has right to express and extend his views willy-nilly. |
| Yaska | Tuesday, July 04, 2000 - 11:36 pm
Salaam
mOw;
You get a life your self, marax!!, Religion is private???? Who said so? and again what religion are you talking about? Definetly NOT Islam!!!!!!
Self expression and personal freedom is defined and allowed for muslims and non-muslim in Islam's freedom common frame-works, so there is no what we called in islam "Private religion" where one can exercise his free-will and "general religion" which has a limited and restricted freedoms |
| mOw | Wednesday, July 05, 2000 - 08:58 am
Yaska
"lAKUM DIINAKUM WELI YADIIN" self expression is allowed within my islam!!!! |
| gabardadow | Wednesday, July 05, 2000 - 12:22 pm
Mow
ya make me sick!!!!!
not saying i agree with yaska but hell guy he sounds better than you ...you sound like u saying it is ok to be gaal, YA BEEN WESTERNIZED! freedom of expression? not when it comes to gaal spreading his/her religion, uh-uh!!!. Tell me what will u say if a gaal comes to your home and starts preaching christianity? mm? will u then say what the heck,freedom of expression?(coz this is realy like a home to us somali-muslims) ---i think not, not by a loooooong shot..given that you are a good muslim..and i think we all are..i mean we might not fallow certain things that the Kuran and the Tasfiir say like praying or covering yar self.but we all are pretty fiiiiiieeeeerce when it comes to defending our religion.
all i am saying is ..there is no reason to support the gaal, i'm sure as hell not saying we should insult him but we shouldnt incourge him. |
| NeefoowKaniini | Wednesday, July 05, 2000 - 08:22 pm
,,,,Adoon caayin inlee gurigaaguu yimiye mawaanad ka dhaadhicin karahayn taadu adigu waa diintaada'e se adoon u dudin soona dhaweynhaya mawaanad u sheegi karahayn wanaaggu taadu leedahay biloow laga yaabe inuu taada ku qancaaye ......
Yaasiin ,,,,,,heedhe waxaa horey loo yiri** walaa tajaadil maa leesa laka bihi cilman** Capice ina adeere!!!!!!!!! |
| She | Wednesday, July 05, 2000 - 09:27 pm
Moron Mahmood = Mooriyaan?
stop the paranoia, MAD MAC is "White-Soomalo" and he is my brotha .....He is not here to beat Dead Donkey = Mooriyaan!
So take it easy or else------------>you will be ,,,
Yaska and Gabardadoow mind your own business dhocilayahoow aan edebta laheyn.....
Neefka LOL Reer jaxiima is all over the forums like eeyihii kacaanka = "Guulwado" |
| Wiildadow | Thursday, July 06, 2000 - 07:55 am
Waatan sharmuutadii SHE ahayd, gaalba haddi hadalkiisa la soo qaado meel ba cuncunta, naa kaalay anaa kuu xoqiye inkaari kugu dhacdaye.
Waxay tidhi, "white-Somalo and he is my brotha" ha ku waso hadduu doono maxaa naga galay wasakhad baa tahay ee dadka kal dhex bax nijaasadaada, qurunyahay |
| mOw | Thursday, July 06, 2000 - 08:27 pm
Wiildadow
Baac waaxid weli ma arag nin ragoo Dumarka la tirsada adiga ka horow.
ma waxbaa si'kaa ah duqa sowtan kaa hoostay.
iska du dhareerka!? |
| Yaska | Thursday, July 06, 2000 - 08:58 pm
Salaam 'aleukum,
MOw;
Wrote:
"lAKUM DIINAKUM WELI YADIIN" self expression is allowed within my islam!!!! "
"Lakum Diinakum Weli Yadiin " Is this ayat/verse for muslims? or states relashionship between muslims and non-muslims?
There is no my islam and your islam........"Ina ummatikum ummatu waaxidda, Wa anaa Rabbukum facbuduun"... Please try to understand that, try to accept other views and make your self to understand other people's way of thinking.
This kind of attitute is what is demanded in muslim circles, But one it comes outside islamic border say like how to behaive with non-muslims is quit little bit different attitute dependent upon how they behaive with us!!!! there is no common or single way of how to approach them. Ofcourse we muslims, should be nice to all humanity generally, think about them and help them what ever we can, But this necessaryly doen't meant we should be so humble, and easy that they could be eaten and swallowed easily.
We aren't keep ing down our guards, while we are still living with them, working with them,so your draw the line for your self
She,
for God sake,, Yaska is not she, is bro.. soo galooti waaxid...adi hadmaad kooyday? sorry I forgot to say "Wellcome to somalinet :)-" |
| coolman. | Friday, July 07, 2000 - 03:56 am
Wiildadow.
Listen man... you need to learn some manners okey..?... She could be wrong... but to correct her... you need a good example and nice words.. what is this crazy profanity you guys indulge all the time..? Why do you insult... if you are a practicing muslim..?
Mow.
My freind.. you said <definitely religion is private, Gaal or not its no one business, every one has right to express and extend his views willy-nilly. >....
Mow... I tell you where the proplem resides... someone comes to the forumss..who has different beliefs..and religion...instead of melting into the crowd and taking part in his interested subject ..he chooses to start teaching muslims his brand of beliefs.. take for example... Mad mac... he heavily advocated that since..the bible is not all right..the Quran should be viewed as such.. and if we don't do..propaply we were not open minded... and many other things that are the same... Again Abbaayo SHE.. was telling us deligently apart from name callings... that we were not representing true Islam...and while acting muslim girl...SHE told us that SHE could get married to a gaal...you see..Islam forbids that...and muslims have to wonder and ask about the identity of anybody who promotes such things...but when confronted..with the teachings of islam..SHE backed away..and started.. showing more of her true purpose..and inner feelings.. You see..had SHE started in the first place..talking about her proplems with Islam..no one would feel bad but everyone who can help would try discussing her why... SHE believes in what SHE believes in....You guys can either choose to play this the hard way..or the easy way.. DON'T TALK TO US ABOUT ISLAM..when in fact... you guys want to serve your hatred and disgust with ISlam...you see what I am saying..? It is all good.. that you represent who you truly are and not pretend whom you are not... capisce..?.. Now you guys are welcome to discuss your views and don't tell us about Islam... because Islam has relatives and soldiers who work for it... Allah protected Islam through people.. who carry the Quran in their hearts and brains.. It is all secure... what do say huh..? The easy way or the hard way..? You choose mister... don't let us choose for you...?
SHE.
Please.. you have to admit we are different... and our beliefs are different.. as a somali lady... you are always welcome..on our side.. because there is blood kinship..between us... that makes us closer to each other than the rest of the human race... religion is your choice..if you open a forums today telling people why you didn't choose islam..and talk about why you chose atheism for example..or christianity for example..or jewry for example... without any insult or degradation of one's beliefs.. I am sure many will join you in that forums.. sincerely discussing with you..about your beliefs... there is an integrity for everything... and we should gaurd that integrity with vigilance... you are entitled to your opinion as long as you are not..making it superior to islamic teachings..because ISLAM IS SIMPLY THE BEST.. |
| gabardadow | Friday, July 07, 2000 - 02:03 pm
she
you calling poeple dhoocilo?????
waaaaaaar anagu!!!
bisad yahay afka kala jeeda..afkaada basasha ka soo ureeso intaadan ila galin wax hubso..noocaadoo kale waxaan niraahnaa "gaal isku dhejis" Allaha kuu naxariisto.
Neefoo
saaxiib adigana waxaan mooday inaadan topica la socon aniga mo kaliya baan ka soo horjeedaa kalmadiisa aheed.."freedom of speech" waa sax, waa la ogyahay..but come on haduu gaalka maanta dhan nac nacdiisa dhiibanayo kuwo caqli xun buu jiidan karaa (like SHE,i think he already did!) |
| Alwatan | Saturday, July 08, 2000 - 12:40 am
To:She What is a white soomali you freak?Somalis are black and proud ones.Iam not speaking about you brainwashed motherfucker. |
| mOw | Saturday, July 08, 2000 - 01:21 pm
From: mOwLiD-mAcAaNe
To: Coolmann
Cc: Yaska
Cc: Gabadhdadow
Subject: Religion is private
Don't get me wrong Coolman, I agree with some of your comments, But in respect to your other views, you failed to understand the point that I had mentioned - it is imperative to respect other people and their religions, as long as they respect you in return. If you are strong enough what do you have to fear?
Many Arab and Somali people are scared when it comes to debating of freedom of speech, losing control and desperately want postponed .........
It is my belief that it is due to a blatant lack of confidence and outright ignorance in reference to their own religion. They are what I care to describe as "Weak Muslims."
Some far-eastern nations like Indonesia have largest Islamic following in the world but however, do not share the same ideals as us. They are often full of confidence, no doubt tolerant, and most importantly, they never doubt that some one who is non- Muslim can brainwash them.
In conclusion, when I insist religion is private, keep in mind Muslim, Christian, and the numerous other religions that pepper the world's population. We are all equal human beings on this earth, and every one has right to exercise his believe without disrespect, abuse, and confrontation.
SALAAMA |
| NeefoowKaniini | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 06:28 am
,,,,,,Allahayoow goormaanu sidaa wax u baraneynaa oo dulqaad iyo samir yeelan doonaa,,,Allahayoow kolmaanu qalbigayagan yari tuhun li'i noqon doonaa oo Nooluhu aanu xishmad iyo is qadarin kula noolaan doonaa,,,Allahayoow kolmaanu maskaxdayadan yar ee carada iyo tuhunka u saaxiibka ahi ay nooluhu intiisa kale kula naaqishi doontaa maskax hufan oo aan cuqdad iyo xargo siloon ku xirxirnayn,,,Allahoow kolmaanu iska ilaali gadaashaada la fadhiyaa iyo Uuunka intiisa kale inay xummaan inala maagan yihiin ka xoroobi doonnaa,,,Allahyoow tii san inoo yeel oo inaga kori yaska aanu uunka gebigiisba aanu ku hayno iyo isla weyni aan meelaba jirrin!!!!!!
,,,,mOw si fiican iyo nus kumaase wax ku qaadanayo intaasaad wacdineysaye!!!!!! |
| mOw | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 06:49 am
Neefowkaniiiiiiiini.
Allah yacizak, yaa akhii yaa ibnu xalaal waaxid. |
| coolman. | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 07:20 pm
Neefoowkaniini.
You should be concerned for one reason... my brother... You have kids.. and if they are able to log onto...this freakish ideas and .... wrong beliefs.. they will end up against you... and your beliefs.. and they will never understand life...from your point of view.. It has happened to a lot of somali families... some of them devastated... completely for that... You need to educate yourself about islam.. to be free from this grip ignorance has on you... shalleyto ma horeysee waa dambeysaa.. ee sidaas ula soco... all the answers we give... to the wrong ideas and their proponents are counter measures... the acetone... that neatralizes.. the effect of the poison these guys...emmitt to the pool of somalis... We are doing the same thing they are doing...giving away our ideas and how we see... things should be viewed.. let no one be denied his chance... I ask... what makes them able to write their opinions and what makes us unable to write ours...? adiga iyo asxaabta kale caqli ilaahey ha idin siiyo SO YOU know... things are not what you see.... it is not us grown ups we are worried...about... it is the youngesters...and those who were not exposed to our culture..that are in danger of...everything they don't understand... whether it agrees...with the right or the wrong... THEY WRITE...WE WRITE...AND STOP WINING FOR GOD'S SAKES.... Let them respond if they can.. and see who sounds more reasonable... Is that a proplem...? Tell me... You have to be able to see both of us....I mean those you are defending their shortcomings...and us...those who oppose them... don't just blame one group...when you are letting others take..advantage and write more of their stuff.... Is that a big thing to ask...?... I am here to chatt, talk, exchange opinions with somalis... I am not here to be given lectures..of a failed life... and alien cultures.. I will give my side of the culture...and I say O'people take it or leave it... indhaha fur yaa kaniini. |
| coolman. | Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 07:51 pm
Mr. MowMacaane.
You said <Don't get me wrong Coolman, I agree with some of your comments, >... What a success...finally I am scoring big... with my open minded friend... hey...what is the deal hear...?
< it is imperative to respect other people and their religions, as long as they respect you in return.>...
Mow...let me borrow your phrase and add something to it okey...?
<it is imperative to respect other people and their religions, even if they don't respect yours...because Islam demands it...not to insult the gods of the other people...lest they insult Allah...subxanah>.... And I might add too... that there is nothing wrong...with pointing out mistakes... where they exist... is that wrong... macallin MOW.. Duqa..what is wrong with that...?
<Many Arab and Somali people are scared when it comes to debating of freedom of speech,>
That is their freaking proplem..because they were muslims..by name..and didn't know...islam is a general..guide system...you agree with or disagree with... they didn't know...you have to learn the Quran..to see why they are different than other people...I mean if there are many religions around the world... and everybody is claiming to hold the right one...how do you know to tell..the truth from falsehood...?.. They needed to start with what they had... and would have known by then.... that they have...all there is to know about religions... it is all in the Quran...
<In conclusion, when I insist religion is private, keep in mind Muslim, Christian, and the numerous other religions that pepper the world's population.>
I disagree with all religions in the world... except ISLAM... but respect them... as required in the law of the Quran... however, respect according to your definition and theirs.... has flaws in it and most of the time... you guys expect people to keep quite about wrongful...remarks.
< We are all equal human beings on this earth, and every one has right to exercise his believe without disrespect, abuse, and confrontation. SALAAMA >....
Correction macallin Mow... telling mistakes... is not abuse...requiring proof is not.... confrontation... and clarifying the position of someone... is not disrespect... the rest of the sentence everybody knows about it... |
| Yaska | Monday, July 10, 2000 - 04:49 am
Salaam Calaykum
Neefowkaniini;
Adiga bakhiilnimadda intee ka keentay? Hadii aad Ilaahay inoo baryeysid oo aad gacmaha kor u taagaysid maad DHAMAAN dadka oo dhan ilaahay u barid ood wax u weydiisid? Hadalkaagu wuxuu isoo xasuusiyey acraabigii masjidka rasuulka ku kaadiyey ee markay asxaabto dooneen in ay garaacaan rasuulku(scw) ka celiey si uu u dhamaysto kaadidiisa, ee markaa yidhi Ilaahayow aniga iyo Muhamed oo qudha noo naxariiso. Naxariista iyo Raxmadda alle maxaad nooga qadineysaa?
Mida kale ee aad leedahay goormay maskaxdda dadku xoroobeysaa, iyo silsiladdo ayaa dadka ku xidhan,,, malaha khalad ayaad topic-ga ka fahantay. Guud ahaan diinta islamku waa diintii ugu horeysay ee 14 qarni in ka badan ka hor sugtay/ogolaatay in ay diimo kale oo samaawi ah jiraan sida (kiristanka iyo yuhuudda), isla markaan u ogolaatey ummaddaha kale ee aan iyagu diin haysan in ayaguna leeyihiin xuquuq.
Mar labaad diinta islamku waxay si cad oo aan daah saarnay u cadaysay XAQNIMADDA diinta islamka...(Ina diina cindalaahi islaam), maxay tahay macnaheedu markaas??. Wadanoolaanshaha banii'adamku waxay doonaan ha aaminsanaadeen waa lagama maarmaan, diinta islaamku intaa oo kaliya uun kuma ekaane waxay qeexday oo kala huftay xuquuqda ay leeyihiin qolowalbaaba waxay doonaan ha aaminsanaadaane????? Maanta oo qarnigii 21aad aan ku nool nahay ayaan hadaan muslimiin nahay ka la'nahay in ay reer galbeed ay aqbalaan oo u ogolaadaan ISLAMka diin ahaan??????????? ilaa iyo maanta europe iyo America toona sharci ahaan maqabaan in islam ku diin tahay? taas oo la siman kiristaaniyahadda iyo yuhuudda lehna dhamaan xuquuqda ay leeyihiin diimaha kale,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IN AAD HURUDO AYAAN UMALAYAA?????? inta aan aanan lanaa weydiinin waxa xaq lanoogu leeyahay marka hore aaway xuquuqdayadii????
Neefow, saaxiib khaladbaad baad igafahamtay baan u malaynayaa si fiicana malaha uguma aanad fiirsanin araadaydda ku salaysan cadaaladda iyo madaxbanaanidda dadka. Gaaladda dariskaaga ahi xaq bay kugu leeyihiin aan baryo ahayn oo uu islamkugu kugu amray waana xaqul jaar? xaq noocaas oo kale ah iyagu ma aaminsan yihiin in aad ku leedahay?, hadii ay ku hoos noolaan lahaayeen hadhka dowlad islaam ahna waxay markale ku yeelan lahaayeen dowladaa xaq kale oo ah in ay yihiin dad ku hoos nool maamulkeedda oo ahlu-dimaa ayey noqonayaan, ADIGA IYO ANIGUBA iminka dowladahan aan ku hoos nool nahay xaq (Gaar) ah dadka muslimiintu ku leeyihiin dowladda ma jiraan?
Hadii aad aad u xiisaynaysid arinta ku taxaluqda xuquuqaha iyo xoriyadaha diinta islaamka waxaan u malaynayaa in QUR'ANKA aad ka dheregtay waxaad kale oo ka raacan kartaa kutubadda kale ee buuxiyey libarary-yadda islamka sida:
1-xuquuqul insan bayna tacaaliim al-islam wa i'laan al-ummam al-mutaxidda (Sh. Muhamed Gazali)
2-Xoriyaatul caam fi al-islam(Rashid al Ghanuchi )
3-etc..
Sidoo kale waxaa jira institutions and research centers kale ku howlan oo kaliya is barbardhigidda xuquuqaha iyo xoriyadda ay diinta islamku ogolaatahay iyo tan maanta suuqyadda dibadda xaraashka lagu iibinayo, markaa hadii aad xiisayso waad raadsan kartaa mostly they located in USA. |
| mOw | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 09:49 pm
From: mOwLiD-mAcAaNe
To: Coolmann
Copy: Yaska
Subject:Correction .. telling mistakes... is not abuse
Bro.It is very easy to blame the west for all our pain and troubles. This is the decease we will have to cure before putting our house in order. As long as we are not prepared to accept our past failures and learn from those experiences, we will be no match for the so called developed world. A lot of troubled Islamic nations are at denial today and their leaders will not accept the fact that they have failed their people and Islam in general.
Their excuse has been to blame the west for every ill they have brought on their people. I will not go into detail here but let's take Algeria, Sudan, Lebanon, and many more.. as an example.
It has been far too long that we have blamed the west for every ill and civil war in these nations. You only have to look at the quality of the dealers of these nations and their agenda to make your judgement. There are even many more non Islamic African countries with the same problems as these Islamic nations and yet blame the west for their failures. A good example is Rwanda, Angola, Sierra Leone etc...
We have to accept that the developed world today is managed by brain power elected to power by a democratic system.
What we have in hese trouble dnationsisa barbaric,greedy, brainless, chaotic system ruled by fear. Let's remember the West have responsibility for the well being of their own people in their countries and their global interests.
The consequences of their actions whether
direct or indirect has on other nations is not much of their concern.
Rightfully, they are doing what they have been elected to do for their own interests.
This does not mean we can blame them for our failures.
In summary, let's stop blaming others and put our house in order !!!
Coolman, You seem to agree with the validity of my points, yet you are bent on arguing for the sake of it. We both know that religious freedom is the main driver for acquiring more knowledge. This creates an intellectual atmosphere where any aspect of every religion can be questioned and debated. The hunger for more knowledge has done more for the advancement of humanity in general than anything else.
Any society that does not nourish this basic human right is in danger of isolating its eopleandulture from the rest of humanity. Religion should remain deep at the individual/personal level and should not be imposed by force.
A more open culture can only lead to a greater
understanding of other religions and utual respect. Islam has nothing to fear when it comes to religious freedom as it has more to offer to humanity as well
as those intellectuals from other religions. So in summary, the focus should be
toward more EDUCATION rather than CONFRONTATION. |
| NeefoowKaniini | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 06:22 am
,,,,,,,Mowliid Macaane ma anigaad i Copy gaareysay mise qolooyinkii Uurku baalayaashaad ku biirtay oo adoon is ogayn uunbaad qalbigeyga soo xigataa!!!!!!!Waxaan intaa raaciyoo badan agteyda tuban oo qalbigayga iyo wadnaha dhex ceegaaga ee Ummaddan kadaato duul baa u gurbaana tumayee alloow maad tubta toosan tusisid,,,,Danteeda guud iyo gaar ay ka tashato inta aanan wax loo joogin iyo Waliid Bin Mughiirah ceyntiisa ay u toolmoontahay!!!!!!!Gurigayaga inagaa gubna dabeed nin tiisii u tashaday banaankaa ka aflagaadeynaa dabeedna inagoo yaboohsaneyno Kutubo aanan jirin iyo nolol aan la sheegin aanan taariikhna soo marin oo aan waligeed la tijaabin isugu catawnaa!!!!! |
| mOw | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 08:26 am
Neefowkaniiiini,
Dabcan, waad fahantay dulucda iyo halka waranku igaga mudanyahay, allah ya khaliik.
any how check your e-mail bro. |
| yaabane | Tuesday, July 25, 2000 - 08:00 pm
Yaab. |
| MAD MAC | Wednesday, July 26, 2000 - 11:36 pm
MAC is Back!!! Did you guys miss me? Anyway, to answer the question, MAD MAC is really a gaal. And he's a white guy. But he loves Somali food and Somali woman - although he has a woman and so is not in the market for Somali woman anymore. That means that all of you who think Somali woman should have nothing to do with geel on pain of death can relax. |
| MN man | Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 09:49 am
MAD GAAL
••••, to tell u tha truth that was relive.
Good luck with ya whites |
| mOwLiD-mAcAaNe | Friday, July 28, 2000 - 04:55 pm
MAD MAC
What do you get if you cross-breed an Elephant with a Dog.......? |
| MAD MAC | Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 02:34 pm
mOwLiD-mAcAaNe
I haven't a clue, but I'll bet that you are going to tell me and that somehow it will be intended as an insult for moi. |
| Anonymous | Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 03:48 pm
MAD MAC
MOwLiD-mAcAaNe IS MOW NOT YOUR ENEMY |
| Anonymous | Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 11:17 pm
This is MAD MAC posting as anonymous because of an authentication error problem
I don't know if mOwLiD-mAcAane is my enemy, I don't know who he is. But his lead-in question makes me suspect that the answer is not favourable. Enemy might be too harsh a word. Just your average suspicious somalia probably. |
| mOw | Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 08:48 pm
From: mOwLiD-mAcAaNe
To: MAD-MAC.
Copy: Anonymous.
Subject: MOW NOT YOUR ENEMY.
I just read your comment regarding my "joke"about the cross breeding an elephant and a dog that weren't, as it seems,happy about. the joke actually had an answer to it, I forgot to give it, which is probably why you thought it was meant to insult you.
This isn't the case though so take easy because it was an honest mistake.
Here are some jokes that are really funny, but don't take it personally because it is just for a laugh.
**************************************************
A man and a wife have an active sex life that they don't want their young daughter to know about. So they decide on "typewriter" as a code to say when they want to have sex.
One day, the man tells his daughter "tell your mom I would like to type a letter on the typewriter."
The daughter returns after 5 minutes and says "mom says the tape in the typewriter is red, so the letter is going to be red".
A week later, the mother says to her daughter "tell your father I'm ready to type a letter on the typewriter now"
The daughter goes to her father and returns to her mother and says "dad says it's okay, he already wrote the letter by hand"
A nurse is walking through the mental hospital when she hears noises from a room. She enters and the man is sitting in his bed making engine noises.
"What are you doing, Bob?" asks the nurse
"I'm driving to Chicago" he replies.
"Ok Bob, have a nice trip!" the nurse tells him.
She resumes her tour, and hears noises from another room. She enters the room, and sees a man masturbating like crazy in his bed.
"What in the world are you doing Charlie" the nurse asks, shocked.
I'm fucking Bob's wife while he's in Chicago" he replies. |
| Anonymous | Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 10:19 pm
Mow
These are great!!!! I like em. So what's the answer to the elephant joke? |
| Anonymous | Wednesday, August 02, 2000 - 04:25 am
Mow
Adiga waxaa lagugu ogaa Macdonalkii ee maxaa meesha kusoogaliyay orod oo Girilkii soo xoq |
| mOw | Wednesday, August 02, 2000 - 01:49 pm
From: mOwLiD-mAcAaNe
To: Anonymous
The elephant jokes,and Mcdonal ha inoo danbaysee bal tana iga hoo
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"
The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "Now ask him where the money is!"
The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"
The deaf man replies, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger." |
| Anonymous | Wednesday, August 02, 2000 - 11:29 pm
I'm rolling. Got anymore? |
