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     | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 11:36 am Iam young Somali girl who is deeply in love with a young man who is not somali but a muslim. We are planing to get married secretly since my family will not accept the fact that my partner is non-somali. Iam torn between the love for my boyfriend on side and my family on the other side.Since i already know the position of my family on this issue. Please give me an honest advise. THANK YOU.
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 12:14 pm Salaama Caleykum My sister in Islam, i found same question asked one of the Muslim Scholar in Saudi Arabia and i copy and pasted here. By the way how your parets feel when you married someone without telling them that is Disaster. Here comes the question sister from this page http://www.islam-qa.com and search Marriage 1-She got married in the mosque without her parents’ knowledge? -------------------------------------------------- Is secret nikkah is permissible? My friend went to mosque secretly from her parents and had a nikkah but there was only one witness for the nikkah. Is the nikkah valid. Please advise may god bless you. Thank you. Praise be to Allaah. There has to be a walee (guardian) and two witnesses to any marriage, because of the hadeeth, “There is no marriage except with a walee” and “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” Therefore this marriage contract must be renewed, if her walee agrees to that, in the presence of two suitable witnesses. And Allaah knows best.
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 12:30 pm anonymous Abaaay go for it.I support you, one hundred point five percent.If hes muslin,no objections should be raised.Good luck!But tell your family,your family has every right to have asay in the matter.Besides,personally,i would not enter marriage if i know i'll be disowned by my parents,i love them very very very very much!Good luck abaay!
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 04:21 pm hi sis, i would say you should think carefully before u make any decision. to help u think rationally,try to write down your decision on one side and on the other write down the concequences down the road like five to ten years. if u find yourself u can live with that then i would tell u go for it. if not ,then try to gain support from your family members so that u have support at the end and not loose all of them and become a girl with no family, what a sad ending. see where i am going with this sis, i hope so! ilaahay wax ha kula qabto. Qurbaawi
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 04:34 pm Oh here we go again with the same old story...please please at least make it interesting and make the love interest a Shiite native American or something like that.... Btw, have you guys heard about the Bahraini princess who ran away with the American Marine special forces guy. She met the guy in a mall in Bahrain and it seems they fell in love and decided to run away together. He disguised her as a marine and made her wear Yankees hat to hide her long hair in order to get her through the airport. Apparently he noticed that Marines were not being scrutinized at all. Once she landed in the States she asked for asylum and INS is considering her application. Meanwhile he has been demoted one rank for the stunt and the couple is living on Marine base in Nevada. How crazy is that????
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 05:10 pm Sumaya, Sumaya you dirty skunk you are not making any sense here, who said any thing about one witness or two. Any one can grab stranger from the street or the mosque as long as they are Muslim. Guardian is not necassery, in this particular case as long as the couple is mature enough to make their own decision. Besides the sister did not ask you about the number of witness that is required to validate her marriage. I advice you to acquire more knowledge before you give any advice. I believe you do not have adequat knowledge
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 06:02 pm Harsh words from Jalafaay. Sumaya a skunk? No effing way. She is like the "...lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green; With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love". A rare jewel she is...
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| | Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 06:42 pm Xoogsade I agree with you.. Sumaya is the juice too bad I can't drink. naa jalafaay. isku xishood oo gabadha ha isku taagin sumaya is one of the best in the forumss.
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 02:53 am XOOOGSADE, YOU AGAIN? Anywayz sumaya is a good religeous sister with interigty,so leave her alone.Can you ask yourself what causes this volacano volatile outburst of senseless indemnimities in you?You seem very much hostile,most of the times.The rest of the times....you are.........are.....anywayz forget it,what i'm saying is STOP IT!ha!
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 09:49 am Who is this mixed up Basra!! Is she blind as a bat or just obsessed with Xoogsade! I found Xoogsade's words about Sumaya very lovely
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 11:30 am Salaama Caleykum To: Basra Thanks sister for Defending me May Allaah bless you for that, but I disagree with you that issue saying the you support her "one hundred point five percent" Sis without of knowlange of parents there is no Valid nikkah.That is what our Prophet said that “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” To: jalafaay Bro before you respond please read carefully what i wrote, I copy and pasted similar question asked one of Muslim Scholar, i aslo expected your advice to seek more knowlange thanks. Rest of the ppl insulting is not good, Advising and understing works
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 02:32 pm sumaya heloo Thanx abaay for your nice words to the post girl,and i think you mistook my meaning.I meant to say that i support her 100 percent if she will marry a guy who is muslin.And if she also says she would not inform her parents,i won't judge too.But if you read my comments i said,personally i would not enter a marriage that my parents are unaware about.Cuz i love them very very very much!Abaay, do you know where i can get xaadiith and islam inspirational litrature from the web sites? Thanx! To Anonymous, I am not obsessed with Xoogsade?Who is he?Is he in my History class or English class?remind me please..lol!And besides, if an obsession element is present, physical evidence points right to your directions with your ..""OOOH i find hes xoogsade's words about sumaya very lovely...lovely....lovely.....uuuufeey"!!LOL
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 05:09 pm Basra,, Ufeeey... i didn't hear that word for long long time,,,lol
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 05:20 pm Sumaya, Lets get this straight, are you suggesting that all Somali’s who got married without the consent of their parents are invalid? I need simple answer yes or no. Then I will respond to you.
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 06:46 pm Sumaya, Hadaad taqaanid Ilaah iyo quraankisa stay away from my property if ya know what I mean.....I don't like intruders especially if they are sheiks..... I find you and your wadaad friends obnoxious read my lips miss boojaal no preaching needed here...... Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate ya little sis but your QUUUQ AND JAQAAAQ gives me the creeps.... Wa bilaahi towfiiq! Anon! Sis nin boobid waa laga roon yahey Muslim or Gaaal it doesn't matter....If your family doesn't approve your marreige they must have good reason...I am sure they love you and they only want what is best 4U.... Especially if your hooyo is against it, forget that man.... abaayo don't ever do anything to disappoint your moma... Peace n <3 all
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 06:57 pm she now u against nice decent sheikhs?girl u a skunk in abath tub full of blood.towfiiiq my black ass.
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| | Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 07:01 pm She: What do you have against the sheekhs? They are good people. All human beings are fundamentally evil so you have to have religion to keep them on the straight and narrow. Sometimes you have to beat the good sense into people. For sure it saves a lot of the money you would otherwise spend on correctional services at a later time. Basra: You have already forgotten me huh. And here I fancied myself as so unforgettable. Eeenyhooo, I wasn't insulting Sumaya she is a nice lady. Anon: Oh yes they are lovely words. I wish I wrote them but it is from a poem I really like by America's greatest poet. The poem is called "lilacs".
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 09:44 am Anonymous Congratulation!!!! Congratulation!! Hey Everyone congratulate her, Girl you hit the jackpot you have our blessing go ahead?
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 11:29 am Salaama Caleykum Hello my sister Basra you can contact me insha Allaahu we can talk more. To:Jalafaay Bro I don't know what you mean yes/no Islam is more than that. This what our Prophet said that “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” To: She Walaashiis Afka waanji maraad wax qoreysid, Nebigu wuxuu yiri " Qofkii Allaah iyo nabeiga rumeeyey wax fiiican haku hadlo ama ha iska aamuso. To: Xoogsade Xoog miyaad noosheegan brother
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 11:55 am SISTER I THINK YOUR IN TERIBLE SITUATION AND THE DISITION YOU MAKE TODAY MAY HUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. OR MAYBE IT IS APORTUNITY FOR YOU STABLISH GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS GUY CAN LEAVE YOU TOMORROW BUT YOUR FAMILY WON'T
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 04:53 pm SHE. nothing, never mind.
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 06:47 pm she. >I don't like intruders especially if they are sheiks. because you look irregular and infectious when you are compared to them and feel exposed. > I find you and your wadaad friends obnoxious. that is because to you the good is obnoxious and the bad sublime and beauty.
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| | Friday, July 14, 2000 - 08:09 pm I often thought,stupidity was a conscious election of vice,a choice made to hide insecurities,conceal clumsyness and avoid examinations.I'm sadly disappointed to find in contrast.Never in my boundless imagination could ever think it was a naturally inclined adoption.Very well SHE and the rest,motion to adopt stupidity is approved.!!Tea time!!!!!
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| | Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 08:43 pm Mudane Xoogsade, I am allergic to them....In my opinion Sheiks = obnoxious, undesirable, cross dresser's,Paranoid freaks...Qaasatan kuwa Soomalida ah ee hate mailka ii soo dira.....I cannot stand them f****ing weirdoes! naagohooda tendhada xirta iyo nimankooda garka dheer ee cambuurada xirta..... Sumaya Stooooooooooooop!sending hate mails U bojaal intaan cambarka caro kaaga beegin..... According to your religion God is every where therefor God is right here with me no abuukaato needed.... I don't think waano with harassment + insult will work here..... Don't U think it will be nice if ya pry for me and whom ever you consider lost instead of stalking, that is if you want Ajar from Allah..... Boosaneero, U must be one of those damned paranoid xir....... How about you take your shriveled man hood and shove up in ya az! English girl, Waz I talking to U miss dabo suus ii madaal?
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| | Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 03:22 am Same old topic, like i am in love with non somali, i am dating native indian, i have bean going out with brother who is a muslim. you all make this topics for a reason. it seems all the somalian girls who are lost are campaigning for US to say is ok to be with who u like. THIS IS A THE REAL A QUESTION IF U GIRLS DECIDED NOT BE WITH SOMALIS WHY YOU INTEND TO ASK US THIS QESTIONS? I THINK BECAUSE U WANT US TO BE IN U BUSSINES. She u are every where go girl wazzup with that?
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| | Monday, July 17, 2000 - 11:42 am She = Sheep
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| | Monday, July 17, 2000 - 12:20 pm Thanks to all brothers and sisters who tried to give me whatever advise they thought i should take. Instead what i got is a conflicting advises which puts me back to square one. I honestly needed an advise from my own people since i couldnt get any from close family. You guys you just ended writing abusive and nonsense advises.I would like to thank all who tried to give me an honest answer since this my future which involves my family whom i love very much and afraid they might disown me. Paricularrly my father who dislikes the country of the man whom i want to marry.Please give me any senseful advice whom you might given to your own sister or brother in same situation.All those with nothing good to say, please say nothing. Iam not saying that you should agree with me, what i want clear answer which i can really base on the decisions which i might reach soon. THANK YOU ALL.
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| | Tuesday, July 18, 2000 - 07:46 pm sweety go with your heart. your family will accept him , it will take them we all have the some problem
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| | Wednesday, July 19, 2000 - 12:26 pm blood is thicker than water...ur family will be there for u none the else....but this man appeared in ur life today and might leave tomorrow...so if this man is a good man try and keep trying to convice ur family...they'll come around if he is the one...and get a shiek involved in ur situation...make istiqara....for ALLAH will help u decide...good luck....and don't never rush...
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| | Friday, July 21, 2000 - 11:36 pm In the Somali society, is important to keep the family together, I am half Italian half Somali, so I am the outcome of a possible union like the one u would have no matter the background of your man. I have grown up with Somali and Italian culture in the same time. Although I grown up in both countries I managed to keep both cultures alive, which is difficult if you live in a third country such the UK. I am now married with an English woman and that is again another culture (even if most Somalis think that european are all the same as they are all “Gaals”), and honestly I find difficult to grow my children with Somali culture without being in Somalia or near a big Somali community. Going back to you case, it is advisable to try to explain to your family that u will be more likely married with the man you love if they like it or not, and that down the years you hope they will accept that. Explain them that if they feel embarrassed you can always move far from where they live, but that you will be there to help anytime they need it. Family is important but the society where you live is made for self-sufficient people, family is a just a beautiful extra options. If you were my sister I would say go for it, but be careful love is not forever especially in this society we live in, so the question is : are you strong enough to go ahead by yourself in the case it doesn’t work out? The good news is that 70% of families at the end always forgive their siblings, I hope you will be in this perceptual. Good luck
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| | Saturday, July 22, 2000 - 08:25 am I am very conservative somali-guy live some where in the world i am very suprise you guys why are you so angry if they gave you this chance now you have all right to lookfor your chance waxaan idiin rajanayaa inay idin cajabin donaan waayo waa ka sex-fiican yahiin oo maahan kinterless like them ku raxaysta nolasha walaalyaal
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| | Wednesday, November 01, 2000 - 01:57 am OUI, HOW VALID IS YOUR INFORMATION FROM THE BAHARAINI PRINCESS,MATE I ASSUME IT NOT TRUE CAUSE I FROM Q8, AND WORKED AS A JOURNALIST NEVER CAME ACROSS THAT INFORMATION. ON THE ISSUE OF GIRL WHO WANTS TO MARRY THE NON MULSIM GUY MAKE SYRE HE MARRIES YOU IN THE ISLAMIC WAY,CAUSE OF THE CHILDERN IN THE FUTURE.AND DONOT WASTE YOUR TIME THINKIG ABOUT YOUR PARENTS DECISION CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAT YOU LIVE WITH IT.DO NOT WORRY TO MUCH CAUSE I'M ON THE SAME BOAT AS YOU ARE IN GAL.
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