     Noora | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:12 am
Is it possible that many men can confess their love towards you and you basically cant love them back ?
I have friends and family around me and i am a very romantic person. I want to love ..but i simply cant. I dont know whats stopping me, maybe my education that is taking most of my time and my responsibilty towards my family.But people tell me you can always make time.
I tried it a couple times but when they confess i simply get tensed up and offer my friendship instead.And the most awkward thing is .. the men whom i feel a great affection for are those .And i can never tell them my feelings until they do..and when they do i turned them down .Why is that ?
Dont get me wrong, i want to love and be loved ....but is it fear of something .. i dont know.I need help. |
| Doc | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:35 am
Dear Noora,
Abaay its natural that you have these feelings or concerns.I know alot of girls who were mainly the first born of the family,or the only memeber of their family abroad,providing the main bread for the family back in africa experience these side effects that are atributed on priorities in their lives.I wish to stress this is very common among alot of somali sisters,mainly most i know.(not saying i'm one of them..Ha!).as you pointed out-that the reason might be your occupation on education and family,i suspect you are right,because nobody knows you better than the self you are.(if that makes sense..ha!).
My advice after giving a diognosis and relevant research thesis..ha..ofcourse)..is>
sort out your likes and dislikes in a note of paper.Examine your priorities and what you want most.Make sure you settle for the guy you think is right>...the right time and the right place.Lastly>take a time of break for sorting things out alone without the consideration of anybody else,regardless of the nature of relationship.Thank you!
Your's Doc! |
| Mariah | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:36 am
Noora...........simple you are not ready.......when you are......you will know.....Sis
peace |
| dulmar | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 12:59 pm
Noora.....nothing is with you sis. You do not trust any body, waayo waad hun wayn tahay.
That is normal, and when the time comes you'll trust somebody. |
| lover girl | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 05:18 pm
Noora
May be those guys R not the right one's for U, even though U think they R...Believe me sis when MR RIGHT comes along U will know and HE will take UR breath away whether U let him or not...So give it a time and it will come to U I guarantee it**..** |
| hebel | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 07:45 pm
Nuura before trying love think about attractions and see whether ya can kick it off with him and get alone as two bodies with U two giving each other the promise of (Yar here for the relationship and not just for friendship) So he and U will be secure enough to let it happen while both of U relaxed and comfortable with the changes.
‘Cause ya have to know that ya not only want a boyfriend or husband but also a friend
.
.
.
Also read between my lines if I do have one.
.
.
I can't believe IM giving advice but something tells me she's very sincere…..God I feel so fruity. |
| jamaaal4 | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 10:31 pm
I believe love is not something u can create it whenever it suits u.the only reason u not responding to men at the moment is u didnt meet the one who can shoot his arrow(siham alxub)at the right spot in ur heart..when that happen i bet u will have little choice on that. |
| lover girl | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:55 pm
Hebel
Tell me about it!!! who would have thought Hebel will actually give advice or even behave this way..HHMMMMM things that make U go HHMMMMM...Good job I'm very proud of U..**.. I can't help but wonder though, is this really U??..I mean I know it's possible but HHMMMMM..**..
Later.. |
| Playa | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 12:54 pm
I know what you need!
You need to grow up and allow your young 18 yrs old fresh pussy to get mature.
Then, you will have an urge to come around the corner and "play" with the dangerous playaz. Until then, keep working on that sexy body and stay slim
Another Playa
peace out |
| Noora | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 06:19 pm
I Thank you all for considering my problem and confirming my sincerity and you cant believe how i value your advice .
Doc: I thought i was abnormal , but i guess i am not .Yeah ,i guess i should know what i want, and not accept everything i get.
Mariah and lovelygirl : I wont push myself , patience is a virtue after all.
I will definetly wait for that right person and see if i cant breathe ;-).
Dulmar : Trust ? You are right , what i see around me are friends changing men like shoes and being played .I guess i have a fear of getting played or hurt, cause i know i wont stand that.
hebel : Good to see your fruity side ,
I get what you mean bro, I will consider your rare advice inshallah.
Jamaal4 : I will wait until nature plays its role.
I wont search .If its meant to be , then its meant to be.
Thanx again |
| Waleed | Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 07:02 pm
Noora, wow a beautiful name, but a missed up heart. It is true when they said that beauty is never complete. With all due respect, I think that you are nothing but a player, and if you don’t believe it, then you surly sound like one. When you claimed that you have turned down some MEN whom you felt a great affection for, you didn’t mean MEN or did you. I don’t think these men were falling from the sky either, and being one, I wouldn’t approach a female knowing a rejection is a great possibility. Obviously, you have lead these poor guys ON, otherwise, they wouldn’t react the way they did to begin with. Your topic title suppose to be something like " What should I do with my VICTIMS ". Remember one thing though, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND |
| Noora | Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 03:36 pm
Waleed ,
Do you have friends ?
If you do , do you treat them like trash( to avoid any relationships with them), or do you care for them as much as you care for your own sisters and brothers ?
One problem is .. i show extra care to everyone around me . Is that a crime ?
When some one shows you care , dont you feel attracted to them, not even slightly ? ofcourse you do , anyone loves to be treated very kindly .
So tell me , is showing a friend care and respect, a modern way of flirting and when they are infatuated by you and they ask you out, but too bad there is someone like me who has a problem and i turn them down ....DOES THAT MAKE ME A PLAYER ?
I might have mixed feelings of affection and attraction towards a close friend ,..is that a crime .. aint I a human after all?
Men , means more than one .. and not nessarily one time .. it extended over a period of time.
But one thing is true , a man and a woman can never be friends. |
| Waleed | Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 04:48 pm
Noora, I happen to be a human, so I do have friends. Who doesn’t???. When I capitalized MEN, I was trying to make sure that it wasn’t an error you have made. Player isn’t the correct word maybe, and my apology if I hurt you feeling. Amazingly, you have found the answer to your own problem when you said a man and a woman can never be friends. |
| Ali-qaliir | Sunday, August 13, 2000 - 09:18 pm
Folks;
i guess there is great info you all missed which is this girl, noora, has an illness. It is called relationship disorder syndrome(RDS). What i mean by that is Noora addmitted that she has the condition and needs professional help. She said
"And the most awkward thing is .. the men whom i feel a great affection for are those .And i can never tell them my feelings until they do..and when they do i turned them down".
To tell you the truth i suffered the same. I am good looking guy, as some women said. I may admire a girl and ask her a date. When she said yes, i feel happy but unfortunately i won't attend to meet her. And i will lose the whole interest of that girl.It is like i got what i wanted. I was like that for many years. It was only when all my friends got married that i realized i have a problem. I sought a professional help. from that day, my condition was got better.
So noora please note that it is a condition and as you said it something you were programmed. It is not a disease or big illness, all you need is some psycho-therapy.
To know your problem is part of the solution.
Good lcuk and seek professional help.
Ali-qaliir |
| jamaaal4 | Monday, August 14, 2000 - 04:24 am
noora some of ur words here reminds me of a friend.and when i read ur last sentence(men and women can never be friends)i was sure its you?
why u just change names...i used my intelligency to find out..dont worry mush xafdaxik..hahhahaha. |
| HA | Monday, August 14, 2000 - 11:47 am
NOORA ONE THING IS TRUE MEN AND WOMEN CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS |
| Noora | Monday, August 14, 2000 - 04:48 pm
To waleed :
Its alright , but the ironic thing is , we think that a woman and a man cant be friends and at the same time we cant help not having friends , even if we are married or in a relationship.Why is that ?
to ali-qariir:
I am glad your better now brother,did you get married now .. cause your scaring the hell out of me by mentioning RDS and Illness ? Goodness .
I think whats worse than illness itself is shaki thinking that your ill but your not.
Can you tell me more symtoms of this illness so i can be aware of the level of its seriousness ?
To jamaal4 : If you know me, why dont you just call me then you will know i am not the one you think i am .Thanx for trying though .
Looking forward for more advice . :-)
to HA : why do you think so ? |
| jamaaal4 | Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 03:02 am
noora
need more advise????
you will see it in my email...i have sent it already...check it out...byeeee |
| somebody | Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 08:49 am
Hi Nuura...
sis i just would like to say that ur going about this love thing the RIGHT way...i mean what would happen if you said u loved the first guy who said he loves u...my guess would be in a relationship that would be going no where with kids and troubles...what i mean is men always say that they r inlove with us and like that saying goes...'ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN" so keep on fishing untill the right one comes along ans sis..when that prince charming comes there will not be any doubts and the feeling plus the word 'i love u' will come out without any efforts...insha-alaah. so untill then, best of luck.
another thing..men and women can be friends becuase my best freinds happen to be men(guys) and frankly i feel thats is better than having female freinds...so be4 u speculate things and take them out of perportion, i just wanted to make that clear...it may not work for all but hey ...the world is not perfect and we dont all end up having the same experiences in life now do we??? |
| dr-troubleboy | Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 09:18 am
noora
wait your turn........ |
| Ahmed | Friday, September 01, 2000 - 04:20 am
Noora..im a guy, n i think i may have the same problem. When ever i meet a girl, they would be attracted to me, n i would be attracted to them. But once i get to know them, i loose all intrests. And likewise, i just offer my friendship.
Before, i thought being with someone beautiful would be enough to keep me satisfied. But ive realised that beauty is a novalty which wears off.
Therefore ive come to the conclusion that for me to be happy with a person, certain needs of mine have to be met. Atrraction, dont get me wrong is important. But i need to connect with a person intellectually. They aslo have to satisfy me emotionally n spiritually. U may think "oh, u dont ask for much, no wonder u dont meet someone you really like". But thats me, n'd i dont feel like settlin for anything less.
My advice to you is not to blame urself. What u feel is common, you just have to persivere.
take care y'all! |
| mad cow | Sunday, October 01, 2000 - 11:32 pm
Noora
Because you ain't good enough for man |
| Noora | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 05:09 pm
Mad cow : I am more than enough for a man ..trust me i am and Satisfaction guranteed .
Therefore , i realized a special man only deserves me , and i will find him one day.
And maybe its the other way round , they are not good enough for me. But like Ahmed said , certain needs should be met, and i am tending to do just that, go for what i want than go for anything.
To somebody , ahmed and trouble boy: Thank you for the great advice. |
| Waleed | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 06:54 pm
Noora, Your main topic was posted on August, and now it is October already. I'm just wondering, havn't you found him yet? I see that you have time to post messages on the net, but little time to respond to my personal Emails. By the way, you didn't ignore me because I show some affection, or did you? Because that was your main excuse to turn people down . |
| Noora | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 07:15 pm
Waleed i was only " |
| Waleed | Wednesday, October 04, 2000 - 04:33 pm
Noora, I have sent you a nice long email, and all I got from you is a face of someone who seemed to be struggling in the bath room. |
| Dameer | Thursday, October 05, 2000 - 04:58 pm
BBBBRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFF Noora! Noora! Noora!! I rearly have the time to surf the web but once in a while I do. you must be very intelligent to open up this topic what an ocean ?so, what will be your next imaginary experience/ocean? and by the way what will be your next username!!!! haa bursted!!!!!! Bbbbbbrrrrffffffff |
| Ruff-EnDz | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 11:18 pm
why am i thinking this is my Boston friend.
anyway good luck with it.
Bye I'm Out.
PEACE |
