     ANAS | Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 10:44 am
Hello Bro. & Sis.
I 'm sick and tired of some of the answering machines that I hear when I call some of my friends house, of course they are all somalis. So I hope this will help. The one that I hear the most is "Hello u've reached 123-456-7890, please leave a massage and we will get with you" Fadlan wixii farriin ah reeb annagaa kula soo hadleynee"
By the way this Actual answering machine announcements recorded and verified by the world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers:
I hope y'all like it and find useful, my favorite one is the one that says "I am avoiding someone"
* My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
* G is for Gossiping, W is for Work. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
* Hi. This is ANAS. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, I already sent the money call Albarakat. If you are my relatives from kenya, Somalia, or Ethopia I didn't work for the past two months, if you my clan and looking for charity "Qaaraan" ask my parents, if you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
* Hi. Now you say something.
* Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
* Hello. I am Anas's answering machine. What are you?
* (From a Japanese man in Toronto He-ro! This is Sato. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!
* Hi! Anas's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one
of these magnets.
* Hello, this is Cambaro's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
* Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their
carpets are clean. They have no intention of switching long distance carriers, do not wish to take out a loan and don't want to purchase any
light bulbs - even if they do last a lifetime. They give to charity through their clan or their Mosque and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
* This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought - recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for
calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
* Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
* Hi, this is Anas. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
* If you are a Mooryaan or Jirri, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.
* You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to
resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
* Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
* Hello, you've reached Wiilwaal and Caraweelo. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Caraweelo likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you. |
