     The Joker | Monday, November 06, 2000 - 02:28 am
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she
sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red
Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the
road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is
crouched behind a tree stump.
"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding
Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles
down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again,
this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth
you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you
get lost?! I'm trying to take a ••••!"
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
A: See you next month!
This one snuck up on me.
A man and a woman are driving in the car when they see a wounded
skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out,
picks it up and brings it back into the car.
She says, "It looks cold, what should I do?"
He says, "Put it between your legs."
She says, "What about the smell?"
He says, "Hold its nose."
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When
it comes back there are still stains in her panties. The
next week she encloses a note to the Chinaman that says,
"Use more soap on panties."
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same
note to the laundry.
Finally fed up the Chinaman responded with his own note that said,
"Use more paper on ass."
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in
the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws
him out into the street.
The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and
once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a
drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough
to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of
the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a
drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill.
Again, the drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats
the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into
the street.
The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar
and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and
give me the bill."
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this
time?"
The drunk says, "Hell no! You get too violent when you drink."
Why is a woman like a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Because once you've enjoyed the legs and breasts there's
still a greasy box to put your bone in.
(Yes, I am a pig.) |
