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FUNNY BLONDE JOKES...BY MUNA!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Ila Qosol - Jokes: Archive (Before Dec. 16, 2000): FUNNY BLONDE JOKES...BY MUNA!
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Muna

Thursday, November 09, 2000 - 03:09 pm
Hi you guys and I know what you're going to say so I'll just have to beat you to it!I've been noticing lately that the mood in here is kind of...let's just say it's far from light-hearted and up beat.So I took it upon myself..y'all can thank me later..lol..to lift your spirits up a bit.Just keep in mind that I just want us to have a few laughs so save me the lectures,insults and don't even mention the profanity...if you don't find it funny just pretend you never saw it!!Here goes nothing!


1. Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine
cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake up the
"SLEEPING PILLS":O!

2. Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get "Hearing Aides":O!

3. Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in the
back seat of her car?
Just in case she locks the keys in the car!

4. Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on
the plane?
Because she had just blow dried her hair and
she didn't want it to be blown around and to
get messy!

5. Why did the blonde call the Welfare office?
Because she wanted to know how to cook
FOOD STAMPS!

6. What did the blonde say when she looked into
a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look!Donut seeds!"

7. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
Because they keep breaking them with hammers!

8. Why did the blonde get upset when she got her
Driver's License?
Because she got an 'F' in sex!

9. What goes VROOM,SCREECH,SCREECH,VROOM,SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light!

10.How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant!
And you know what she'll say to that?
IS IT MINE????!!!!!

Anyways,I hope you guys enjoyed that.I'm just trying to cheer you guys up...let me know if I suck at it...Then I'll just have to stick to my more serious literature!!!Have a terrific day folks!

Until next time comrades,peace,love and craziness to you all.

Muna.

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Ayaanick

Thursday, November 09, 2000 - 04:24 pm
a guyz check this joke'z bout Little Johnny out!..Peace&Luv!

LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation of sex with his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?"
His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."
To which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, •••• him?"

============================
LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE VAGINA
Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one
day, so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny, this is where you come from." Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting that all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny."
"Why?" one asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a turd."

=======================
LITTLE JOHNNY, THE SMART ASS
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the •••• do you think?"

========================
LITTLE JOHNNY GETS AN F

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"

====================================
MULTI-SYLLABLE WORD

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny raises his hand, "Me Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers: All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

=======================================
CAN LITTLE GIRLS HAVE BABIES??
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his Mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

========================================
GOING TO THE BATHROOM

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
piss!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight too, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"

=============================================
BEAUTIFUL
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in t." "Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,
'Beautiful, ......just fucking beautiful!'"

Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
>

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Muna

Friday, November 10, 2000 - 08:56 am
Hey Ayannick:

Nayaa that was beautiful...just freakin' beautiful!!I'm glad you decided to join in the fun and boy am I relieved that I'm not the only one that likes to share a few good,really,really good jokes!!!Keep it up girl!!

Until next time people peace,love and craziness!!

Muna.

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Ayaanick

Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 03:01 pm
Ayaanick(got another one) Ready to really laugh if you are a pre-med you will die if you read this joke. Enjoy people!!!


SARDAR IN MEDICAL SCHOOL
Once upon a time, a sardar(punjabi) applied to a medical school - needless to say he never made it - you know why ????

These are the answers he gave:

Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a,e,i,o,u
Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Coma - punctuation mark
Cortisone - area around local court
Cyst - short for sister
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation - in this place
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans
Enema - not a friend
False Labor - pretending to work
Genes - blue denim
Groin - to mash to a pulp / smile
Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greeting to several males
Impotent - distinguished / well-known
Labor Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - people without feet
Lymph - walk unsteadily
Menopause - I no wait
Microbes - small dressing gowns
Obesity - City of Obe
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain
Pus - small cat
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rupture - Ecstasy
Secretion - hiding anything
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Suture - Gujrati for "what do you want"
Tablet - small table
Tumor - extra pair
Ultrasound - radical noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - very close
Vas Deferens - extremely different
Vein - at what time?
Vitreous Humor - both witty & funn

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Muna

Monday, November 13, 2000 - 10:48 am
To Ayannick:

My God did you just have a conference with a highly mentally challenged person who sadly selected pre-med to be his/her major??!That was just hilarious girl..I almost kicked up an asthma attack from laughing so hard!I majored in Bio-Chemistry earlier and oh my goodness..I know all of those terms and it is sooo funny that anyone would interpret them to have such meanings.I just loved the one about hymen,impotent,labor pain,urine oh what the hell I love them all!!!That was by far the most intelligent set of jokes I've heard!By Vein...were you thinking of its Arabic equivalent..if so then that would mean where and not what time...but it sounds just as funny girl!

Until next time comrades,peace,love and craziness!

Muna.

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SistuhLuV~

Monday, November 13, 2000 - 04:33 pm
Muna,
lol @ blond jokes. Thnks girlie. Some funny sh*t..lol (oppzz, mind my language!).

Ayaanick,

Ey girl, that last joke was damn funny. Im a science major, N' I found that amusing. Lol @ johnny jokes (naughty boy). Gotta bounce girlz, Cioa.

Note: Stay tuned for MY jokes. YOu won't be dissapointed, I promise :)

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SistuhLuV~

Monday, November 13, 2000 - 04:39 pm
Oh one more thing folks, if you want a GOOD laugh, please, just please view the movie "MEET THE PARENTS". It's out in theaters, and Robert DeNero and that actor from "SOMETHING ABOUT MARY" are the leading characters. I was literally on da floor.....GO SOOOON!!!!! EnJoY YoUr WeEk EvErY OnE!

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Amina

Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 04:37 am
Muna lol@ blond jokes: Thats just made me day sis..tnx.

Heres another.
Q: Why are blond jokes one liners?
A: So that men can comprehend!!

Lol@ Ayaanik that johnny boy sure is a bad boy!!
I iz •••• at science as well so i can relate 2 sardar.

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Muna

Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 10:13 am
To Sistaluv:

Thanks girl,that was really nice of you.I'm glad that there are people out there who can appreciate a good blonde joke!As for Meet the Parents I'll try to go this weekend...the problem would only be finding...interesting, funny,intelligent company..lol!I saw Something About Mary when it first premiered and the company sucked...but I laughed so hard anyway they decided to become interesting...lol!

To Amina:

I am honoured that you found the blonde jokes funny!I just cracked up so bad that I had to share them.You know I can't be stingy when it comes to things like that!..this one is for you!


What do you call 4 blondes in a Volkswagon?
FAR FROM THINKIN!!!!!

Until next time,peace,love and craziness!

Muna.

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wax garad

Friday, November 17, 2000 - 02:44 am
ayaanick & muna
nayaara ma waxaad wayseen nin wax aad qabataan, markaad maalin walba malkaan hadal bilaa micne intaad ku qoraysaan.

gumaaysooyin aa tihiinee baxa hooyooyinkiin caawina oo weelasha guriga dhaqa caruurta idinka yarna xafaayada ka badala.

intii aad quraysaan wax aanan cidna idiin dirsan baxa qora quraanka & diinta ee meesha waxba ku ma haysaansee

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Amina

Friday, November 17, 2000 - 06:33 am
Muna , girl ur crazy!!lol
What i really like about blond jokes is that they remind me of me school dayz..

Heres one,
How do u make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight through her ear.

C ya
keep up the craziness my sis!!

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Muna

Friday, November 17, 2000 - 11:37 am
To Amina:

Nayaa you are too funny.I heard that one before but guess what?..it made me laugh again.If you really want to laugh take a look at these and tell me if they crack you up!

A blonde is going to London on a plane;how can you steal her seat?
Tell her all seats going to London are in the middle row!!

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
The noise was giving her a headache!

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands over her ears?
Trying to hold a thought!

Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep!

What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
Having a wonderful time.Where am I?

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first!

Did you hear about the blonde prisoner who was found in her cell with half a dozen bumps on her head?
She tried to hang herself with a Bungee Cord!

A blonde goes to get her hair cut.The hair stylist cuts for about 30 minutes,hands the blonde a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?" The blonde says, "It's okay,but could you make it just a little longer on the back?" !!!

Blonde: I was born in the US
Friend: Oh really,what part?
Blonde: All of me,silly!

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No,but wherever it is,it must be bad since everyone is leaving.!!!

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!!

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!!

Hope you liked them.

Until next time,peace,love and craziness to you!

Muna.

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Amina

Friday, November 17, 2000 - 01:00 pm
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL girl i can't keep up with ya.. so i iz gonna step down sis. (p.s ppl here r starting 2 think i got a love affair with the computer).

Keep em coming sis.
Laters

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GEELJIRE

Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 10:11 am
WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY AFTER SEX?
SO WHAT ARE YOU NAMES GUYS.

TAKE NOTES MUNA BITCH,SOMETHING U CAN RELATE TO!

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wq

Monday, November 20, 2000 - 12:24 pm
That was really funny sisters.Iwas just checking this blonde Tittle and believe me I had to read all the way. marvelous and it's peautyfull, just fucking beautifull.
thanks, and I am out!

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londoner

Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 08:29 am
To muna

Stop using too much "nayaa" word cuz it ain't polite-word, and B real next time.

DO NOT BE CRAZY WOW!

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BADDESTCHIK

Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 09:25 am
Ayaanick and muna y'all are HILLARIUS I LOVED IT ESPECIALLY LITTLE JONNY
KEPP WRITIN' LATA!!!

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BADDESTCHIK

Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 09:26 am
Ayaanick and muna y'all are HILLARIUS I LOVED IT ESPECIALLY LITTLE JONNY
KEEP WRITIN' LATA!!!

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