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I THOUGHT I WAS A GOOD ROLE MODEL! PLEASE HELP!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Ila Qosol - Jokes: Archive (Before Dec. 16, 2000): I THOUGHT I WAS A GOOD ROLE MODEL! PLEASE HELP!
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Tariq Ahmed

Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 04:31 am
To all brothers and sisters;
Am 22 years old and as far as am concerned I've done every thing by the books: finished college,university,got a driving licence and have a respectful job in the city.
My younger brother Mohamed is 20, he completed college with 4 A levels all at B grades, so far so good, but after his first year at Kingston University, He dropped out, got a job in a hospital laboratory, has no driving licence and yesterday bought himself a new BMW and is cuurently driving without a insurance and licence.
As we live here in England on our own, our parrents have a business in Africa, none of my parrents are aware of the current situation, am afraid it will break their heart and have nerves breakdown as all the rest of the familly is a university graduate. Further more, this is not a good example to the rest of my other two younger brothers of whom one is in his second year at college and the other will be doing his GCSE next year.
Am I worring over nothing? When I tried to talk to him he says I worry too much and should stop acting like a 40 year old man! He does not dissrespect me, but I feel useless that my younger brother wont follow my advice, most of my friends say I should just let him learn the hard way if he wont listhen to me, but as he is my blood and flesh, It hurts me so much that to know that my brother is going to face the ugly side of life simply because he won't listhen to me and when this uglyness finally comes to reality, he won't come to me to seek advice and help because he will feel guilty and stupid to ask me about what I have been tryng to advice him on before-hand.
I know this is suppose to be a "JOKE" section but hey some-one had to change it and trust it to be me.
All kind of responces will be greatly appreciated even those against me!
Peace and love to all...

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London~Sis

Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 08:10 am
Tariq walaalo i'm really sorry that you have this problem on your shoulders but i will try to advice you to the best of my knoledge.
First of all walaal all families have expectations but in your family they have given you the rsponsibility of looking after or 'keeping an eye out' for your younger brother. But as your brother is 20 he probably thinks that he is old enough to look after himself and that your being over-protective of him (am i right?)
So i think that first you should back off a bit and show him that your not acting like a 40 year old man and that your only there to help him not to make his life harder. Because if you make him feel like your coming on too strong like telling him "no" to this and "no" to that or if you keep mentioning the driving licence to him then he will stop asking you for advice and that could really drive him away. Let me tell you to be carefull how you come across to him, try to talk to him from an angle that he will understand, try to talk to him as his brother tell him it's not what you would do and as his brother you don't want him to get in to trouble or to ruin his life. I think you should wait a day and think of a way of aproaching him, talk to him like two brothers like friends. I don't agree that you should let him learn the hard way, i don't agree with your friends at all. Bro let me tell you that if there's 1 thing i have learned in my life it's that you can't always rely on your friends no matter how close you are but you should always be able to rely on your family. Basically don't give up on your little brother even if he treats you disrespectfully always be there for him. Bro it's better if you do your best to talk to him and encourage him to take his licence and get insurance now otherwise you don't know when could get into trouble with the law. Aproach him like a brother try to talk to him like an adult and if he won't listen to you then tell your parents. That way if anything happens your parents know and they can talk to him. Don't threaten him but if you can't get through to him then tell him that your telling your parents. Give him a deadline to think about his actions. He might hate you for it but atleast you will save him from breaking the law and you will save your parents from being dissapointed in you and in him.
I feel like i've been babbling on all day, it makes sense to me because i have been there with my brother but i hope this advice helps you.
Bro this sounds like it's really hard for you so try to stay calm ok.
LOTS OF LOVE AND PEACE

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DEVILESH

Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 07:08 pm
Im honestly not posting this
based on prejudgement.
but I would tell you to let him live the way he chose. not that everyone can force them selves in to a great education. Never the less just because your brother didn't finish university doesn't mean he wont have a succesful live.
I would advice you to stand by his choice and support him no matter what.

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RICHGIRL

Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 07:45 am
Tariq

I would advice you to LIVE & LET LIVE. I know it hurts to see your brother throwing his life away but let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.

Firstly sit him down and talk to him...Man 2 Man...Not like a father but like a mate..U know that way he wouldn't see you lecturing him...and he would probably see you as a competitor.

Secondly if he has any friends who are in University.....ask them to speak to him maybe there will be a chance for him to be a bit jealous to see his friends going places.

Thirdly I would ask U to support him....and do not critisize him whatever U do.
I have been through the same predicament bro..I have a brother who dropped out. Atleast your brother has a job...mine has nothing but the Giro Cheques sent by the government. Pray and Inshallah he will meet your expectations.
PEACE

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Ayaanick

Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 03:19 pm
Tariq:
I what can I say, I think everyone gave you a great advice, but like you said everyone can post their views so here I go walaal. First of all peopple will do what they want no matter what you tell them, or how great it might be for them. That's first.

Second walaal I understand where you are coming honestly, although I am only 21, I go to school with my older brother 23, and if he did something like that I wouldn't know whether to just lock him out of my life, or just be his (mother). If you keep on telling him, he will just do the opposite. I suggest sit down with him, tell him that you are not running his life for him, that soon or later it will catch-up to him.

Give him the freedom to make his own decisions. Honestly the only thing at this moment that you can do is be his friend, and what I mean by that is, it is easy for us(the caring siblings) to get over proctive over our Siblings, but we have to understand it is their life, and no one can tell them how to live it.

As far as the family reputation goes, I think you guys should let him be. If he doesn't want to go college, it's not the end of the world, maybe he will decide to go when he reaches a certain age. I know I just keep on going and going, but I wish I could help you, but I really can't. In closing walaal don't worry too much(easier said then done I Know), but honestly don't worry. Just be there for him when he falls and needs a shoulder to lean on(be his brother, not his "Father":O I wish you the best of luck, and may Allah help you go through this difficult time!!

Love
Ayaanick

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LAMIA

Monday, November 13, 2000 - 05:15 am
To Tariq
Brotha u have done what u had to do, which is to advice him. Your brotha is old enough to make decisions and he'll be the only responsible for the results. We all learn from our mistakes and tha's how we grow up. So let your brotha grow up on his own. I know that he'll regret what he's doing right now. I hope that your younger brothers don't follow his steps but follow yours and you can't do anything but advice them and hope the best for them.

peace out

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Muna

Monday, November 13, 2000 - 10:21 am
To Tariq:

Let me first start by commending all of the brothers and sisters who so whole-heartedly gave you their advice and support.

Secondly,I would like to say that I kind of understand what you're going through which is only as far as my imagination will let me.Nevertheless,it doesn't require a Nuclear Physicist to figure out that you are in quite a dilemma!In other words I will do my best to try to shed some light on your current situation and maybe even perhaps alleviate your pain!

So let me be the DEVIL'S ADVOCATE!!

YOUR BROTHER IS DOING THIS FOR THE ATTENTION!!! What I mean is that you are the oldest if I understand correctly..right??You are 2 years older than him and as you confessed yourself...you have "done everything by the books...finished college,university,got a driver's license,and have a respectful job in the city."This only means that you are basically the "perfect child."I mean think about it..whom as a parent would turn that down??

Maybe your brother feels that he has been STANDING IN YOUR SHADOW FOR TOO DAMN LONG!!!!!Every parent has certain standards and expectations for their offspring to meet and uphold..and that goes without saying!You by chance happened to preceed your brother by birth and that is a fact of life that neither one of you can help!Your brother can however put an end to this cycle of perfection right???...How you ask?Well,all he has to do is not do anything by the book!Then nothing of what he does will ever remotely,deliberately or accidently resemble the way Tariq does things!

I don't mean to get all Sigmund Freud on you,but I feel that behind every action lies a deep and profound meaning and intention.Your brother is on an uncertain and rocky quest to finding his TRUE IDENTITY...not the one you and your family have assigned to him!During this search my friend,he will adopt an unorthodox method of going about everything,even simple things.If you will just take a moment to think about it...how hard is getting a driver's license...I mean he worked(I presume) to get a car...any idiot knows that a driver's license and a car go hand in hand.But he is even rejecting that!Hint,hint...he is rebelling against any kind of authority!

A word of advice my friend...don't even contemplate telling him that what he is doing is wrong and in the long run could turn out to be...unprofitable!Don't you think he already knows that??Anything you say about this situation to him,he will gladly and with much honour easily misconstrue to be UNFAIR JUDGEMENT,I'M RIGHT..AND YOU'RE WRONG..AS USUAL,THE PITIFUL FOOL YOU ARE, I (Tariq) HAVE TO ONCE AGAIN STEP IN AND CLEAN UP YOUR MESS,THERE YOU (Tariq) GO OFFERING ME YOUR HELP WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR IT!...Man the list goes on.And oh about dropping out of school on his part was precisely the right thing to do...because Tariq dear would have to have taken permanent leave of his senses to even entertain such a dreadful thought!You know what else???...I think he is already expecting and waiting patiently for you to make that whole speech to him even as we debate this!

Okay I know when I've done enough damage...so you can SUE ME for causing you Emotional Discomfort,much Turmoil,Confusion,Undue wastage of your PRECIOUS TIME and oh don't even mention the STRESS!AND THE BANKRUPTCY I PLACED YOU IN... SINCE MY ADVICE MADE YOU GO TWICE AS OFTEN TO YOUR VERY,VERY,VERY EXPENSIVE THERAPIST!!!!!I believe I will be hearing from your lawyers soon...so I think it best that I leave as of 20 minutes ago!I trust you will be taking Legal Action very soon..So I should invest all of my time and efforts to finding myself Legal Represetation...they say Johnnie Cochran is heavily booked this time of the year!!!

My analysis is not as detail as I would have hoped;however,I was not sure if any of its readers or viewers would be still living after having been subjected to such gross Psycho-Analytical material!!So I will take my bow now and make way for more normal sounding persons with less complicated intakes on the subject!

Let me know if anything I've said made the slightest bit of sense..and if it is at all to your liking then rest assured that THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM PEOPLE!!

KEEP SMILING TARIQ...I know that might not be much consolation right now.I can sense your body tensing up and can almost feel you clenching your fists and grinding your molars..I , I...I better leave!!

Until next time comrades,peace,love and craziness!

Muna.

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Tariq Ahmed

Wednesday, November 15, 2000 - 10:27 am
ALL THE SISTERS ABOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL YOUR CONTRIBUTION IN FEEDING ME WITH POSITIVE RESPONSE IN SIMPLE TERM TRYING TO HELP ME AND EVEN TRYING TO INC0-ORPORATE WITH YOUR REAL LIFE SITUATIONS IN YOUR EXAMPLES.
I AM VERY HAPPY AND SOMEWHAT TAKEN BY THE WHOLE HEARTED RESPONSE YOU HAVE ALL BEEN SO PASSIONATE AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHEER HONESTY.
I CAN HAPPILY SAY THAT TOGETHER WITH YOUR HELP, I HAVE HAD A POSITIVE CONVERSATION WITH MOHAMED AND HAVE ACTCHIEVED A COMPROMISED RESULT ON WHICH HE IS TO PARK UP HIS CAR UNTIL HE GAINS A WORTHY ROAD LICENCE AND THEN HE WILL DRIVE HIS CAR HOPEFULY IN THREE WEEKS TIME. AS FAR AS UNIVERSITY IS CONCERNED, I HAVE POINTED OUT ALL WHAT HE COULD GAIN AND WHAT HE COULD LOSE OUT IN DIRECT RESULT OF NOT COMPLETING HIS DEGREE AND IT WAS AS CLEAR AS BLACK AND WHITE AND HE AGREED TO RE-JOIN THE CLASS NEXT FEBRUARY.
MEANWHILE I HAVE PARKED MY CAR AND AM DRIVING HIS CAR JUST THE WAY I WANTED!! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THEM!
THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN.
PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU ALL.
TARIQ AHMED.

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Shacni

Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 01:49 am
:) :) :)

I'm glad your story had a happy ending Tariq. And tell your brother to come back to Kingston anytime we'll welcome him with open arms.

:) :) :)

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Amira

Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 11:15 am
Well you must be very desperate to ask an advice for the somalian people and to tell you the truth if a guy that has all that you have what on earth that you would make you come to a place called somali jokes to tell this stroy to us.
I mean good for you and for your brother to what you have achieved so far with your lives but may be you are lacking one side of your progression and that side is Allah's side do you pray and thank the Only God for what he have given you and given your parents if not then may be you should start doing so and then may be you won't feel so bad. A guy that have a parents like you should be lucky and only Allah made thee special therefore bow down and thank thee who made thy different than others
and about the BMW if u dont like it pass it down i ll drive it for ur brother soon i get my licence bye for now and may Allah bless all

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TARIQ

Thursday, December 14, 2000 - 08:29 am
AMIRA;
SISTER FROM THE BOTTOM END OF MY HEART, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.. THATS ALL I NEADED. SOMEONE TO TELL ME THE "REAL TRUTH". I MUST ADMIT THAT NO I DONT PRAY. ITS NOT RIGHT AND ITS NOT OK. I AM VERY NICE PERSON VERY KIND TO EVERY ONE AROUND ME AND ALSO KNOW MY RELIGION. I DONT DRINK NOR DO I SMOKE. I REMEMBER GOD EVERY MORNING AND NITE.
BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS AS YOU HAVE PERFECTLY STATED, I DONT PRAY!! I MEAN WHAT SORT OF A ROLE MODEL DOES THAT MAKE ME? ITS THE QUESTION I NEED TO ASK MYSELF. BUT TO TELL THE TRUTH SISTER, I AM GETTING BETTER ie' ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE NEVER COMPLETED A MONTH OF RAMADAN!! THATS SHOCKING CONSIDERING OF MY AGE.
THIS YEAR THOUGH, SO FAR I HAVE FASTED EVERY SINGLE DAY!! AND PLAN "INSHA ALLAH" TO COMPLETE IT ALL. THIS MUST BE THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR MY SELF.. AND NOW "INSHA ALLAH" WITH GODS HELP, I WILL START TO PRAY AND ONLY THEN WILL I BE ABLE TO CONSIDER MY SELF AS A PERFECT ROLE MODEL.
BY THE WAY, I HAVE A SISTER OF 11 ALSO NAMED "AMIRA" SHE LIVES ABROAD WITH MY PARRENTS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH ONCE AGAIN.

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Amira

Sunday, December 17, 2000 - 04:12 am
Its aight Tariq by the way if ur parents ever wanted a helping a hand in South Africai mean i am here coz i need a job badly i mena i cant imagine the unjustice of this country there is me doing 3 alevels with no job at all and there are these girls in my college doing foundatio GVNQ and have jobs i mean wat kind of life is this
anyways Tariq do ur best man and make sure that teh prayer is always on top of ur list bye for now and think of that offer the job lool

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