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     | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 05:22 am For the men: U know you are Somali when none of your clothes match U know you are Somali when u wear white socks with everything U know you are Somali if you think you are God's gift to women. U know you are Somali when marrying a 12 year old is the joy of your life. You know you're Somali when your parents say AstaqfurAllah whenever they hear the word sex U know you are Somali if U owned mansions and palaces in Harjisa or Mugdisho and even planes used to stop for you For the youth Somali guys: U know you are Somali when you can't tell if you are telling the truth or lying U know you are Somali when you have been to 5 well known universities yet you can't speak a word of English U know you are Somali if your heart stops for anything that can be called a female U know you are Somali if you talk about women as you would about food for example by calling them macaan U know you are Somali if your day starts at 1:00 am and your night at 6:00 am For females You know you're Somali when can't wear a thin see through blouse but it's perfectly ok -no it's wonderful for you to wear a diirac. You know you're Somali when you're afraid to be in public places with the opposite sex, especially if there is another Somali person within a 500-mile radius. You know you're Somali when the guests at a wedding start showing up at 1:00 am and the bride and groom arrive at 3:00 am. You know you're Somali when you call other Somali elders you've never met before abti (uncle) or aeedo (aunt) You know you're Somali when you being picked up by a Somali man when he says, "I know your father" That is general You know you're Somali when you diss the other sex and clime that you don't understand them You know you're Somali when you put stupid comments in every dissection You you're Somali when you roll model are black people You know you're Somali when talking behind people back is you're best hobby You know you're Somali when you go to live outside Somalia you forget you roots Somalianguy
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 05:37 am to somalianguy. all i can say is lllooolllll!!!!!!!!!!!!! peace&harmony yasmin
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 08:05 am where have I read the same joke? I wonder. the art of "copy cat" is a criminal act but nevertheless.......'C' for the effort
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 09:34 am I have seen this type of jokes several times, and it is always interesting and I always find them funny, but so far there are few things I want to ad on this and they all General YOU KNOW U R SOMALI WHEN U CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TO BE IN LOVE, LOVE ,& TO LIKE SOMONE. YOU KNOW U R SOMALI WHEN U PRONOUNCE THE LETTER P & B AT THE SAME WAY. YOU KNOW U R AT SOMALI PARTY WHEN U GO TO PARTY AND SEE ALL MEN ARE STANDING AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM, AND ALL THE LADIES ARE ON THE DANCE FLOOR LOOKING FOR A MAN TO DANCE WITH. YOU KNOW U R SOMALI, WHEN SOMONE MAKE COMPLEMENT ABOUT YOUR LOOK OR OUTFIT, AND YOU SAY I KNOW INSTEAD THANK YOU. YOU KNOW U R SOMALI WHEN U CHEW "GUM,FOOD,JAAD" WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN until next time y'all take it eazy
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 09:49 am To Somalianguy: That was very funny.It tickles me that we all know and perhaps even do these things.However,as funny as it was I believe that the last part involved some rather dark humour or black sarcasm.Sadly it is very true even though we all wish it weren't so.Deep down inside we all want to have a country that has a stable government,flourishing economy,superior military power that we can be proud of and boast about! And of course that every Somali citizen by birth is patriotic,open-minded, honest, educated,peace-seeking,more interested in people for who they are and not their Qabiil....Sure what's wrong with that DREAM...the trick is to stop Dreaming about it and make it a REALITY!Ironically the dream starts here....so many thousands of miles away from the MOTHERLAND...I don't think that a nation has ever been faced with such a dilemma!! The humour was well founded...but it saddens me too! Until next time,peac,love and craziness to you all! Muna.
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 10:11 am To somalianguy...if that ever exists.. here is what I do..when I know i am somali.. I know I am somali.. when I treat my elders with respect... I know I am Somali... when I talk with dignity... I know I am Somali..when I praise my country.. I know I am Somali.. when ajinabi..disguist me.. I know I am Somali..when I eat hilib with bariis. I know I am Somali...when I eat.. pasta with banana I know I am Somali...when I walk with pride as my guide.. I know I am Somali... when I wear..diric..knowing all eyes on me. I know I am Somali... when I go to school..to get an A. I know I am Somali..when my parent's views matter.. And Finally.. I know I am Somali.. when I am asked where I am from... So bro..b4 u even think of inferiorating us....think twice... for we rock.. That is what comes to my mind when I think of a Somali... If u only knew....what that means..being called.. "Somali"...God its a blessing... Speaking of loosing roots...who has now..?
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| | Thursday, November 16, 2000 - 11:31 am TO REALLADY YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTFULL GIRL IN THE NET YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN ALL THE SOMALI GUYS WANT YOU TO BE THEIR DREAM LADY NOTBYCHOICE YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS PLANET HOW GOT THOSE JOKE YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THE IDEA OF THIS JOKES COME FROM ME(LAST YEAR) YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU START TO DISS ME WITHOUT KNOWING ME TO ANAS YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD THING TO SAY(THAANKS) TO HIBO YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU JUMP TO ANY CONCLUTION YOU LIKE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING THE JOKES TO ALL SOMALI PEOPLE YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERY THING YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU ATTEND EVERY WEDDING IN YOUR CITY WITHOUT BEING INVITED YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU GET MARRID BY ARRANGED MARRIGE YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU ADD SOME MORE JOKES TO THIS JOKES.
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| | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 05:21 am TO ALL OF YA THAT WAS FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. SOME OF THE THINGS ARE RIGHT AND SOME ARE WRONG. PEACE
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| | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 06:09 am somalian guy n anas looooooooooooool. U are true somalis 4real!!! U know ur somali when u make amina laugh Hibo sis that was beutiful, but the brothers are only having a laugh.. its good to laugh at urselfs sometimes u know!!
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| | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 08:08 am I give props tomy man SOMALIGUY love and peace y'all
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 01:23 pm Can you people stop dising yourselves in public we should all be proud to be somali ok its very stupid in aad sirteene gaalada u sheeg tiin. It should be private thank you
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 01:59 pm ITS SIMPLY AMAZING WHAT A HUMOR? SPECIALLY SUCH A ANSWER GIVEN BY A YOUNG LADY,HOPE YOU LOOK AS GOOD AS YOU SOUND:
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 05:39 pm HIBO... Dirac..all eyes on you and the Pasta banana was hillarious -I know I am a Somali, when I see a Jew, I say Nacatullah in their face. -I know I am a somalian when I drink Tea with Halwo. -I know I am a somalian when I get invited at a weddinng and I take my own crew with me. -I know I am a somalian when I wear a hijab and jeans.......The hijab ofcourse as a bandana..Istaqfirulahul cadiim -I know I am a Somalian when I dread staying home with my mama......and she shows her guests my pictures as a baby.....and after making fun of me they expect me to get them some Tea.......and halwo (in their dreams.......they can all have sugarless Tea) -U know UR a somalian when U look at another somali......up and down Huruuuuuuf style.......and flare UR nose like a Goodyear Baloon PEACE MissTrouble
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 06:00 pm Dear brothas and sistaz I know some of the things ya'll wrote is true, but that is not only Somali people who have embracing things. I will only say this everything have good and bad, so lets stop point out what we as somalians do wrong. But what is better for us as a nation, we can built our land steady of watching one another what we do wrong. I don't speak myself when I say this, When I heard the word Somalia I feel like being blessed and I feel great. So think about when somebody says, U know ur Somali and point out something that is shameless like chewing gum. U rather talk about the good side of Somalis, everybody knows that we all our special people but we do not admit to each other the good things.Enough with that so all I am saying is that stop pointing finger to each other and do something useful for one another. ps. G.LOVE
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 10:04 pm You know u r somali when your name is mohamed,ahmed,faarax and of course....for the females xaliima,hibo,ayaan,deeqa and of course hodan. You u r somali when u visit Duncan-donuts at least ones a day for no particular reasons....You know u r somali when Duncan donuts turns into a somali congress. You u r somali when ur best pick up line is (allah walaal or abaayo maa soomaliyad baad tahay)as if he didn't know lol. You know u r somaliwoman when u dress to impress on weddings(lovely colors huh lol). You know u r somali when ur neighbors start complaining about loud noises coming from ur apartment(whats up with the noisy guests lol) You know u r somali when ur girlfriend asks *so dear which qabiil do u belong to??!) You know ur somali when u chew anywhere,anytime under any weather. You know u r somali when people ask u 'how come u look different???straight hair,nose,complexion. You know u r somali when ur uncle thinks somalis r the best people on this planet educatiowise,milatarywise,civilizationwise. You know u r somali when u think that somaliwomen r the most beautiful women on this earth. You know u r somali when our women hate us so much to the extent when u greet them they think automatically think u want to jump into bed with them. You know ur somali when ur sick and ur grandmother thinks that u have jin on you and she starts the cuud thing.
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 10:07 pm How did I forgot the name abdi or cadi
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| | Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 11:03 pm I KNOW I AM SOMALIA BECAUSE I AM WHAT I AM AND I LOVE IT. ANYWAYS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE GETTING MAD ABOUT THE BROTHAS MESSAGE DON'T CAUSE WHEN YOU ENTERED THIS SITE YOU CAME TO THE "ILA QOSOL" WHICH MEANS JOKE AROUND AND HAVE FUN DON'T CRETIZE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT'S BEING POSTED. PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL MY SOMALI PEOPLE. I LOVE YO TO DEATH.
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| | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 01:03 am people, u know yur somali when u think u are better than blacks. and when u think all white ppl are devils. u know u are a somali guy when u try to have one white girlfriend, one black girlfriend and one indian, but if u see yur sister even looking at another u guy u go nuts. u know yur somali when u put too much sugar in yur tea, coffee, even juice. u know yur somali when all your food is very oily (subag) and u dont have cholestrol problems.
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| | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 06:22 am Dayyyyam! I MUST BE SOMALI! LOL LOL# LOL U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR ELDERS (FEMALE) WHERE SOCKS WITH SUMMER SHOES IN THE WINTER. U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U HAVE A CAR AND BECOME UR FAMILIES PERSONAL TAXI SERVICE U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U SPEND $$ ON UR WEDDING FOOD AND THERE'S STILL NOT ENOUGH TO GO ROUND U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U SPEND $$$ ON UR WEDDING, INVITE EVERYONE AND U STILL GET DISSED U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U USE CIRCULATED WEDDING TAPES FOR LOCATING POTENTIAL WIVES/HUBBIES U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U HAVE A COLLECTION OF WEDDING TAPES THAT DON'T BELONG TO U OR KNOW THE PPL. U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U'R ASKED TO ACT AS A COMMUNITY DHL SERVICE WHEN U TRAVEL U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR ELDERS THINK 'HABEEN BUR' STARTS AT 7PM U KNOW THEY'R SOMALI THEN THEY HAVE A YELLOW STREAK ON THIER TEETH FOR EVERYONE WE LOVE BEING SOMALI!!!!!! TRUTH TELLER
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| | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 06:28 am HOW DID I 4GET? U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR TOLD BY UR ELDERS UR NOT AFRICAN/ARAB/WHITE/BLACK/... UR SOMALI! U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN IT'S CEEB FOR A GIRL TO DRINK TEA TT
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| | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 03:12 pm Dear Somalis, Nothing is more humble than finding one's own flaws and in it, finding humour. I am not Somali but I enjoyed the joke because it is honest and does mirror some behaviors that are common in my community as well.
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| | Sunday, November 19, 2000 - 07:54 pm Guys, these jokes are helarious...i've never seen them before. My favourite ones: <You know you're Somali when you being picked up by a Somali man when he says, "I know your father"> <I know I am a Somali, when I see a Jew, I say Nacatullah in their face.>
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 06:19 am To:Liibaan Man that was really awesome especially the last one about everytime you feel a bit ill your grandma thinking you've got the jin and starts the cuud thing.Hope to hear more from you cos that was just great.Cheers bro! that is so true
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 07:07 am You know you are a Somali Man when you tell a female you attended her mother's wedding and three seconds later you ask for a date. You know you are a Somali man when your day and night is switched. You know you are a Somali when you think that everyone is conspiring to get the Somalis. You know you are a Somali when you have more than one identity. you know you're Somali when you spend a lot of £ in your wedding and the next day you're looking for someone to lend you some money. you know you're Somali when your mom in law rules your house. you know you're Somali when you favourite places to go out are rewayad, aros and moonlighting you know you're Somaliguy when you go out with a female once and the next day you tell every person you meet that you slept with her. you know you're Somaliguy when you stand in frontdoor of rewayada without having any money trying to use the back door. you know you're Somaliguy when you best bickup line is what is the time wallalow. To every one how saw the funny side of this article thanks that you understand me
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 07:54 am WHAT FUCKING IDIOT YOU ARE WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE I DIDN'T FOUND ANY JOKE AT ALL COUSE SOMALIS ARE LIKE THAT ANYWAYS SO WHY SHARE IT WITH US KNOWING THAT WE ARE LIKE THAT DON'T REMIND USS IDIOT COUSE SOMALI PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GONA BE SOMALI PEOPLE REGARLESS WEATHER WE ARE RICH OR POOR AND YOU FUCKING ASSHOLW TO REMIND US WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT ANY WAYS SOME OF THE JOKES WERE FUNNY I GOTTA ADMIT THAT ATLEAST..LOL BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT GET SOMETHING KNEW MAN YOU SUCK.............SOMALIGUY..LOL..LOL
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 08:47 am I have identified my self some of those descriptions which tell me am 100% Somali. It's the funnies jokes I have ever seen yet, this is incredible improvement of civilization how some of us find this hilarious while it's not stereotyping. (you are Somali female when you say you have boyfriend and you don't know the meaning of it... you are Somali guy when you have crowded teeth and you think you are hunk) thanks all pls post more peace and luv to Somalis'
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 10:21 am To Mr Basterd or what ever you name you're self Those words are perfectly describing you Mr you know you're Somali when you have been to 5 well known universities yet you can't speak a ord of English lol SOMALIANGUY
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| | Monday, November 20, 2000 - 10:24 am Baden me I forget to write the letter w in front of the word.At least I know my mistakes SOMALIANGUY
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| | Tuesday, November 21, 2000 - 12:55 am Somaliguy bro that was hilarious i cant stop laughing...u know some of the things...well actually al of the things are so true.....the female part was true i can tell u that for sure. let me ask u this....where do u get all this stuff from????? i am still laughing.....thanx u have made my day. we need brothers like u who knows the true and aint scared to admit his mistakes...i wish all the somali guys would be like that instead of sitting there skinny ass and eating jaad like cows/sheep eating caws...brothers get a life!! peace our
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| | Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 01:48 am THANKS MS FOR YOUR COMMENTS AND HER WE GO AGAIN YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGUY WHEN YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH WHITE GIRLS BECAUSE THEY ARE EASIER TO GET YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGUY WHEN YOU THINK RIGHT AND SOMALIGIRLS ARE WRONG YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGUY WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE GODS GIFT TO SOMALIGIRLS. YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGIRL WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO PLAY HARD TO GET WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH GUY YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGIRL WHEN YOU BEST FRIEND CONTROL YOU ALL RELATIONSHIP YOU YOU'RE SOMALIGIRL WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE PUBLIC ENMEY #1 FOR ALL THE GUYS YOU YOU'RE SOMALI WHEN YOU SEE YOU ANOTHER SOMALI PERSON YOU START TO WORRY WHAT THEY WILL THINK AND SAY ABOUT YOU. SOMALIANGUY
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| | Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 04:07 am Your a somali man when you your chat up line is " i've seen you before somewhere" u know u somali when you say chuventus and cherry instead of juventus and jerry. u know u somali when u say batatoes instead of patatoes u know u somali woman when u say to the DSS that u ain't got a husband yet evry year u producing like a rabbit...funny though how all the children carry the same last name and u wear jalabib (excuse my spelling) u know ur somali girl when ur parents think u the sweetest girl in the world...what can i say...looks can be deceptive u know u a somali guy when chewing chat is the highlight of ur life u know u somali when u have been in a foriegn country ei england for 10 yrs yet u still need someone to transalte letters for u u know u somali elder when u go to school on how to learn sewing u know u somali man if u tall dar and skinny u know u a somali women if u fat, short...and never stop complaining. u know u somali elder when another muslim man is not good enough to marry your daughter, but a somali who chews chad and got nothing going for him in general is a better candidate. u know u somali man when u have a wife in each continent. ps hibo...sis that was a beautiful poem..but as someone already mentioned...it is good to find humour in ur flaws, not to remain blind to them or ignore them.
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| | Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 04:17 am LIBAN, TRUTH TELLER,AND SOMALIANGUY DAYMMMMMMMMMMMMM U GUYS MADE ME LAUGH. I'M ON THE FLOOR YO. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. PEACE
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| | Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 04:45 am This is Funny BUT, not Good at all we are giving out our secrets, We are teaching our enamies our behaviors and how to get us. We are educating the jew Nacalatullah, and bynow they know all about us. Please stop writing about our life. You know you are somalian when we talk about yourselfs and then cry leter on. PEACE
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| | Wednesday, November 22, 2000 - 05:14 am Ragedi camp ( DAUD) You know you are somali when you take (CAYR) and work at same time U know u r somali when you go to Ruwaayad for a fight You R somali when you smoke in the football Pitch This is Daud from Ragedi Camp
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| | Thursday, November 23, 2000 - 03:26 pm To kinsi thank you dear I am glad I made you laugh the same goes out to lamia too,man oh man kinsi my ayeeyo made it a nightmare all those unsi and foox lol. Here is some mosre ones(strictly for laughs) u know u r a somaliwoman when u complain about money shortage yet again can afford an expansive visit to the hair salon. u know u r a somaliman when u wear the same out fit throughout the whole year,winter,summer..... u know u r somaliguy when u like a girl yet can't confess ur love to her instead u fantisies about her. u know ur somaliwoman when u enjoy turning down a farax after a farax. u know ur a somaliman when ur wife beats u. u know ur a somali when u don't give a damned about how many calories are in ur food. u know ur somali when u eat bariis or pasta atleast ones a day. u know ur a somaliman
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| | Friday, November 24, 2000 - 10:13 pm U GUYS ARE SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY..Off the HOOK Y'all What can I say..... I just Love being a SOMALI...
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| | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 12:11 am Here's some pluses...(FOR THOSE OF U THAT CAN'T C THE FUNNIES IN THESE) (LIKE MY GOOD FRIEND LIBAAN SAID ABOVE) U KNOW UR A SOMALI WHEN U DON'T GIVE A DAMNED ABOUT HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN UR FOOD. U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U REACT AND REACH OUT TO HELP ANOTHER SOMALI IN NEED, THAT U DON'T KNOW U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN AN ANY ELDER CAN LEAN ON U LIKE UR THEIR OWN U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN 'DEPRESSION' IS AN EXCUSE USED AS A MENAS TO AN END.(GET HOUSE, FREE BUS PASS, NO SIGNING ON BOOK INSTEAD.. AM I GIVING U'ALL IDEAS?.. CEEEEBBB!) U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U CAN DEAL WITH ANY SITUATION AT HAND OR MOVE ON. U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U SMELL A FASHION-FAD FROM A MILE OFF, AND NEVER GET CAUGHT BY MEDIA HYPE. (THE ELDER GENERATION GOT THIS ONE DOWN PACKED!) U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN U DON'T THINK - BUT KNOW! OPRAH IS TALKING SHIIT! U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN 'AAAKHASS' IS ALL YOU SAY WHEN U WATCH JERRY SPINGER (ALHAMDULILLAH!) U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR DREAMS R NOT JUST ABOUT UR HAPPINESS BUT THOSE AROUND U TOO (MUM, DAD, SIS,..ETC) U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR MUM CAN STILL CUSS UR ASS IN PUBLIC AND U RUN LIKE A BABY..(ITS A GOOD THING) BTW LAMIA... HUN THE LAST TIME I CHECKED I WAS A FEMALE... BUT THANKS ALL THE SAME SIS TRUTH TELLER U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN UR FRIENDS BECOME UR FAMILY TOO U KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN
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| | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 11:43 am U KNOW YOUR SOMALIAN WHEN U CONTINUE WRITTING SEQUELS TO "U KNOW YOUR SOMALIAN....." JOKES............~!
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| | Saturday, November 25, 2000 - 12:16 pm you know u're a somalian when u spend time on the net dissing youre brothers and sisters. you uneducated welfare eating brics do something better with ure life
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| | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 12:51 am LOOK AT THIS I think you ment Pricks bro, but then who am I to correct an OBVIOUSLY educated, employed BRIC such as yourself?... lol TRUTH TELLER
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| | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 02:05 am YOU KNOW YOU ARE SOMALI WHEN YOU TELL THE IMMIGRATION OFFICE THAT YOUR SISTER IS INDEED YOUR WIFE AND SHE NODS THAT IT IS TRUE.YOU KNOW YOU ARE SOMALI WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE TALKS ABOUT FAKE PASSPORTS WHEN YOU ARE HAVING SEX.YOU KNOW YOU ARE SOMALI WHEN YOU CANNOT TELL WHAT A KINTIR LOOKS LIKE BECAUSE YOU NEVER SAW ONE.
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| | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 02:16 am look at this ..u been told bro ....i felt that !big up y'all ..enough respect...trust i enjoyed reading it....i also agreed with it!.......KEEP IT UP!
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| | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 03:46 am To all the Somali brother's out there is a joke don't forget that!!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha You know a Somali (bad boy) when he try's to rap with DMX's songs but all he knows it the chores like (noOOOOO let the ruff riders raw)or what ever You know a Somali (guy) when he wearies a silk shirt with a of key colour like (olive) You know a Somali (bad boy) when he act's like a bad boy and his trousers look as if there about to fall off. You know a Somali guy when he act's as if forgotten his own mother language.(he was in England for 2 yrs or so) You know a Somali guy when he come's to a ruwaayad with nice car(BMW) and you know it's not his it is (rented) That's all folks
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| | Sunday, November 26, 2000 - 05:37 pm LONDON LADY DON'T YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN A LITTLE SEXIST? WHY DIDN'T YOUR JOKES INCLUDE SOMALI-FEMALES TOO LIKE LIIBAAN FOR INSTANCE HE POINTED OUT SARCASM IN BOTH GENDERS------>DON'T HATE BABY THAT'S BAD.
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 04:00 am eey ya´ll.... once more!! u know u´r a somaliwoman when u´r hands are full with all kind of gold rings in every finger at least two or three each, and 15 gold (jijimo) at each hand, and u´r neck is full with all kind of gold tusbax and sets a.s.o, and ya ears tha same, (heey i´m talking bout gold who can help tha whole baadiyo with food!!) and she still says that she´s broke and need tha ceeyr to give food to her children!! daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 04:13 am this was the best off the test and the rest!!
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 04:23 am s0malianGuY...we love u mAn!!!! keep on mAkin' us Laugh Louder mAn!! All Sweden love u Man.....!!! We r proud somalianz no mattter what! And 2 the ladies stop hatin' each other right.. huRuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuf iska daaya aight!!!!!!! *'* mUch love fr0m SweDen*'*
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 10:35 am YOU KNOW UR SOMALI(GIRL) WHEN U SAY BEN INSTEAD OF PEN. YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI(BOY) WHEN YOUR BROKE AND YOUR FRIENDS ASK YOU TO GO CLUBBING AND YOU SAY "NO MAN I CAN`T COME BECASE I`M GOING SOMEWHERE". YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI(BOY) WHEN IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOOTBALL MATCH YOU START COMPLAINING SAYING "NO GOAL, EVEN IF IT WAS AND YOU START FIGHTING". ALL OF YOUR JOKES WERE FUNNY EVERYONE. PEACE AND LAUGHTER HAHAHHA
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 10:50 am U know ur somali when tv licence come and they say "our records show that u have had a tv without a licence for tha past 2 yrs" and u say "i no telivasion" u know ur a somali when ur family is on tha dss{cayd} and ur children r on free school meals and they embrassed when all their friends are paying for their dinner. u know ur a somali when u neva appear on T.V except when ur all queing for the post office.
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| | Monday, November 27, 2000 - 10:55 am U know ur somali when tv licence come and they say "our records show that u have had a tv without a licence for tha past 2 yrs" and u say "i no telivasion" u know ur a somali when ur family is on tha dss{cayd} and ur children r on free school meals and they embrassed when all their friends are paying for their dinner. u know ur a somali when u neva appear on T.V except when ur all queing for the post office.
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| | Tuesday, November 28, 2000 - 05:21 am THAKNS TO EVERY BODY HOW RESPOND TO MY JOKES AND AM WORKING ON IT AND YOU WILL BE LOL OF MY NEW JOKES PEACE AND LOVE TO nadias0malia AND ALL THE SEXY LAYDIES IN SWEDEN P.S. AM COMING TO SWEDEN THIS JULY SOMALIANGUY
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| | Tuesday, November 28, 2000 - 02:37 pm You know u somalian when u viste ur GP and say DR my stoamch is on firelol=== u know u somalian when u get on the buss and say to the bus driver= ISPAATAAL HIIL BLZ=LOL,instead of spital hill u know u somalian when ur wife is delivering at home and u call for Emerg=and say another one coming out=lol= u know u somalian when u see pll kissing at the street and stare at them, u know u somalian when u fail ur exams,
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| | Tuesday, November 28, 2000 - 02:42 pm when u fail ur exams and u tell ur parent the u pass,coz neither of them can read lol, u know u somalian when u stom out with ur knife and act breaf when u foolahaye, u know u somalian when u give a police woman officer quick one lol
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| | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 12:14 am U know u´r somalian when someone decide a time to meet, and u come tha oppisite time..ex come at 11.am...u come at 11.pm!!! SomalianGuy...u´r so funny maan.....my sis Nadia took tha words out of my mouth, but u know that rest!!! by the way SomalianGuy....when and where in Sweden are u coming!!!
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| | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 12:47 am hmmmmmmmmmmm and i know i am somali when i waste my valuable time reading this stuff!!
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| | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 01:13 am It's true cayni.And i knew u gonna say that bro. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what a waste....!!
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| | Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 08:17 am You know you're Somali when your grandmother thinks every skinny white person has AIDS. You know you're Somali when your parent thinks a condom is a nice apartment. You know you're Somali when your parents say AstaqfurAllah whenever they hear the word sex. [For females] you know you're Somali when you can't use the words *boy* and *friend* in the same sentence without having you're parents arrange for you to live with you abti (uncle) and his 4 wives somewhere in baadiiyo (part of Somalia) You know you're Somali when you answer the phone with "haaalloo" instead of halloo. You know you're Somali when you stayed in UK for 10 years and still need someone to translate for you in the Home Office. to sweden girl july 2001 that is when am coming will you show me around Somalianguy
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| | Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 02:01 am where in in sweden?? stockholm?? gothenburg?? malmö??
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| | Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 02:32 am Hibo guul gacaliso adaan kaa arkey oo kali ah qof runta kahadlayo adaana kawarbixin karo macnaha soomaliga. Ninka wxaan soo qorey ma uusan ss qorin wax lago qoslo balse waxuu soo qorey wax lagu yaqyaqsiyoodo. get it dont ever claim to be somalian if your blaming to our sisters for their respect to elders.
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| | Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 02:53 am s0malianGuY....BOO...WHERE IN SWEDEN..I'LL SHOW U AROUND AND ROUND THE WHOLE SWEDEN,,,BUT ONLY IF U COME 2 GOTHENBURG.!!!!!!!!!
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| | Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 03:05 am aysuuf I just can't imagine what a bunch of bricks that are laughting something that should be consider "dilemma" in out ethnic kind. Sure we can laugh at some of the comments made here, but sooner or later you have to face the reality which is to stop criticizing and start education each other what issues should be left behind. Bad habits are hard to cut; I am sure everyone will agree with me on this. It is time as Somalis to stop digging out weakness and start focusing what might make us better society. I am out.
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| | Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 04:24 am To every one how think this article is disrespecting our society or culture. Well you did get me wrong because am not disrespecting no one. But am just pointing out the problems that face every Somali person in this planet and how do Somali people react to the problems that face them around the world. And by the way did you that our lovely Somali people will not leave you alone. They have something to say or to do about you. And it does not matter if you're fat, slim, normal, muscular, ugly, beautiful, rich, poor, dark skin, light skin, quit, mad, educated or not. Thanks Swedengirls that was nice of you to offer to show around. I will come to Stockholm there is a friend of mine lives there. peace & love SOMALIANGUY
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 02:43 am Somalianguy i like what you saying you're one hell of creazy brother
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 02:54 am YOU KNOW YOUR A SOMALIAN WHEN I SAY (IISTUUBID)YOU SOMALIA TOO
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 03:53 am assalamu calaykum: This was really funny!!!!! very funny indeed: here comes my contribution: You know you are a somali when you pronouce Chat and qaad as JAAD. You know you are a somali when your friends ask you what you during your free time and u answer:KARAWIL, DHEMAN; HADHIIN; AND ISBIK;:,,,, You know you are a somali, when you wear a tie and a suit to travel miles. You know you are a somali, when you say "somalian" instead of somali. You know you are somali when you think BOY and MAn, woman and GIRL are the same. You know you are a somali when you adress every human being...light-skinned than you as GAAL. You know you are a somali, when your vocublary is full of words that u can't find in any dictionary: Bililiqo, moryaan, faqash, nigga, bitch etc You know you are a somali when you pronouce picture as BIIJA (herpes on the mouth) You know you are a somali when you send money back home to finance the habit of QAAD/JAAD chewing. You know you are a somali when you left a decent well paid job in the middle east for a life as QAXOOTI. You know you are a somali when the only two words you can speak of the english language are: SEBERED AND RAFUJI... You know you are a somali when you start scratching the middle parts of your trousers because u r wearing jeans instead of cotton underwears. You know you are a somali when increase your vernucular from ERI CARBEED TO fadhi CARBEED.
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 12:52 pm ALLRIGHT PEOPLE, YOU KNOW YOU ARE SOMALI JOKES ARE BECOMING LIKE "SHAQAL DHACAY". SOMEONE, FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE OF US WHO WANT TO READ A FUNNY JOKE, SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I DIDN'T MIND READING A LOT OF THEM, BUT I'M NOT LAUGHING ANYMORE. THEY ARE ALL SOUNDING THE SAME TO ME NOW. TELL A FUNNY JOKE WITHOUT COPYING OTHERS, BE ORIGINAL. JUST AN OBSERVATION, NO BAD INTENDED. PEACE. I'M OUT.
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 02:17 pm SOmlianGuy... U know ur Somali when u plagiarize other ppl's stuff and pass it off as ur own... lol! The Original "You know ur Somali" writer.
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| | Friday, December 01, 2000 - 02:36 pm loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo guys i had to laugh that is all= i love to know u guys individual=coz u all made me laaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhh!!!! somalianGuy call me now iam waiting by the phone=and i will answer it like this==haaallooooo, waa kumaaaaaa 0121 990703621
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| | Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 10:57 pm u know u r somali when u use Alfalaax underwears. u know u r somali when u look for sub eventhough u r not hungry u know u r somali when ur relatives show up any time at your door ......IT IS ALL GOOD AND WE SHOULD BE ALL PROUD OF THOSE COMMENTS THAT PPLE MENTIONED ABOVE....
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| | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 08:10 am loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool ooooooooh my Allah...u guys r sooo funny....ohh and the best thing about this is...itsss..soooo..true..u guys...made me laugh to death.....where did u guys find all this? ooooh my Allah....this was...just the besst. i cant stop laughing...and today i have realized somali homour is the best ...i mean this is the first time....i come to this page and...the first impression was just greattttt. thankxxx...soo..much for such a nice and..crazy page....walaahi...this was...sooo..funny...im gonna print it ..and...show it to my aaboo. well....my ppl...i love u alll...keep the good..work..and to the haters...isku xishooda...stop being soo envy...and if yall didnt.. get these jokes..well...thats...okk..too..coz every body is....allowed to have an..opinion...but my point is dont...come here and...and hate...its all about ...love it..or leave itt...its that..simple. well ...my ppl byee and happy ramadan...now...remember...stay real ..stay muslim...and stay somali....foreverr.
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| | Sunday, December 03, 2000 - 08:13 am loooooooooooooooooooooool T-girl....oooh girl...that was funny..."when i see a jew...i say nacala tallah in their face"..loooooooooooooooooool
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| | Monday, December 04, 2000 - 12:26 am assalamu calaykum: You know you are a somali when you laugh at TABOOS.. You know you are a somali when use LOL, millions of times. You know you are a somali when you realise you are growing older than u r peers.. You know you are a somali, when your doctor tells you "this disease is common to people over the age of 40"....and it says on your card that u r 24.. You know you are a somali when you are a muslim but act like an infidel. You know you are a somali when you call AL-BARAKAT and DAHABSHIIL once every month. You know you are a somali when you talk politics instead of doing your homework. You know you are a somali, when you claim you are not but a LANDER  You know you are a somali when your older relatives refuse to throw away Jerusalem post in arabic because they think it is Quran. You know you are a somali when you think somalis are the only somalis in this world. You know you are a somali, when you realise that words become things....(DOOFAR; EEY)
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| | Monday, December 04, 2000 - 01:44 pm KEEP THEM COMING YO SOMALIGUY
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| | Thursday, December 07, 2000 - 05:29 pm Dang this is hilariously too dangerous for my intestines! I'm a give away at my bladder any second if I keep on reading these jokes! Dang that T-Girl blew up the spot wit the Hijab as a bandanna for me and Somaliguy is just busting jokes from here and there, EVERYWHERE!!! Keep dem coming people, YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI WHEN YOU GIVE COMPLIMENTS EXPECTING ONE BACK YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI WHEN YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS END UP SAYING NCAAS (STUPID) AFTER THE END OF EACH SENTENCE YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI WHEN YOU HANG OUT WITH ONE OF YOUR BOYZ or GALZ and ONE OF DEM BAIT OUT THE SCENE WHEN THEY SEE SOMEONE YOU LIKE BY POINTING THEIR DAMN FINGERS AT THEM CONSTANTLY LAUGHING
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| | Thursday, December 07, 2000 - 06:29 pm u NOW your somali -- if u take foodstamp!! u now your somali if hold a questcard!!! u now your somali if u speak somali lol lol lol lol one love peace nice jokes keep the ryhem up!!
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| | Thursday, December 07, 2000 - 06:55 pm hello........ u know u r somali...when u use your wall to write telephone as an address book u know u r somali....when u see dog u jump a mile (4guys) u know u r somali .....when u fight with another man that u will f##k him(in somali) u know u r somali...when u r afraid to cut u nails at night u know u r somali...when u lie about your age... (26yrs but say 17yrs)
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| | Thursday, December 07, 2000 - 06:56 pm hello........ u know u r somali...when u use your wall to write telephone# as an address book u know u r somali....when u see dog u jump a mile (4guys) u know u r somali .....when u fight with another man that u will f##k him(in somali) u know u r somali...when u r afraid to cut u nails at night u know u r somali...when u lie about your age... (26yrs but say 17yrs)
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| | Friday, December 08, 2000 - 05:35 am Phatryde, Kickme and Abu I like that that was da bomb keep up the good work Bros SOMALIGUY
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| | Friday, December 08, 2000 - 06:36 am WARYAA, HAAHAHA, THAT IS OF THE WALL PPL, I AM AT WORK AND PPL ARE ASKING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I AM LAUGHING SO HARD, WELL NOT REALLY, BUT SOME OF THAT STUFF IS FUNNY, LET ME SEE IF I COULD THINK OF SOME, FOR THE SISTERS... YOU KNOW UR SOMALI WHEN YOU GET MAD AT A BROTHER FOR NOT CALLIN U IN RAMADAN.(ILAAHEY KACABSADO NOOH) YOU KNOW U ARE SOMALI FEMALE WHEN U LIKE A GUY, AND INSTEAD OF BEING SWEET TO HIM, U BECOME THE RUDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I MEAN Y, JUST TELL HIM LOL GENERAL YOU KNOW YOUR SOMALI WHEN YOU WORK IN A BIG CORPORATE OFFICE, AND GET MAD WHEN THEY HIRE ANOTHER SOMALI PERSON, CUZ U AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THAT THEY ARE SLOW AND WILL MAKE U LOOK BAD YOU KNOW U ARE SOMALI WHEN U SEE A GAY SOMALI GUY AT THE MALL, AND BEAT HIS ASS, REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME. AIGHT YALL, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
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| | Sunday, December 10, 2000 - 12:06 pm SOMALIANGUY IT'S FIFEA from south london my email address is babyali2000@hotmail.com keep in touch.
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| | Tuesday, December 12, 2000 - 10:13 am HI Somali Guy Hey what can i say it look's like that i know you from some where bro... E-mail me back on my e-mail address which is {hibbo2000@hotmail.com) ps: i'm looking forward to hear form you. peace and love
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