     Anonymous | Friday, November 17, 2000 - 07:31 am
Why did the chicken cross the road?
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight
for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say
give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government
needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the
road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship
his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the
road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
denied the right to cross the road in his or her own
way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They
could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to
cross the road. They don't need help crossing the
road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
road myself.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by
the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but
our society pays tire makers to create the need for
these roads and then lures chickens into believing
there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the
roads, up with chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The
chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they"
call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
many more chickens have to cross before you believe
it?
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
GEORGE BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
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