     Anas | Monday, January 15, 2001 - 10:10 am
These stories and some more are true stories, I know that most of us have experienced, some funny stories, funnier than mind so if you could share with us it will be greatly appreciated.
When I first came to U.S.A., I could speak and understand English very little.
When first arrive at JFK Airport, I wanted to call my sister at Michigan, but I didn't have quarters, so I asked three black guys who was standing next to me where the changing machine was so I could get change. They 've said something but I did not understand one word of what they've said. I left and asked a Hispanic lady who was mapping the floor the same question, with her little accent she said"Me no inglese" to me It was hard to believe, a person that works in JFK couldn't speak English.
I 've started my first job at McDonald, so one day I was talking to my manger and He said "I BEG YOUR PARDON" I said what? He repeated "I BEG YOUR PARDON"
I thought he is telling me to get something from the kitchen, so I went to the kitchen, spent for a good 5 minutes trying to find out, what "I BEG YOUR PARDON" is? Finally I decided, I brought one of the biggest POT "not Xashiish, I am talking about Digsi" we had in the kitchen, and said
"Sir here is "I BEG YOUR PARDON" he said what? I repeated "sir here is PARDON"
I didn't go to work for 2 days, coz I thought I was off, coz I was off 3 days the week before that
Did not know there is schedule, and it is Flex schedule. The third day my manager called,
I answered the phone, and she said "ANAS YOU ARE FIRED" "I said THANK YOU" I didn't know
what fired mean I am thinking that she is giving me complement by saying to me you are fired.
I thought she is saying that I am the man "fired means QATAR". My sis came from work, I told her
What my mgr told me, My sis look at me and said weren't you supposed be sad? I said why? She
Coz you just lost your job. She explain to me everything my sweet little sis. Ilaahay ha ii daayo.
I used to work a print shop, my supervisor was giving me a lot of work to do, coz I was
Fast, one I 've decided not to do as much work as I used to do. She came to me and ask me what is wrong with me, I said I am not gonna do it, she said why? I said coz I don't want to
She said Anas you are "CRAZY" I said what? She repeated "MAN you are CRAZY". So I get mad and went to my manager and told him what she had said to me. Of course he couldn't understand what I was saying. He called her in the office and asked her what said to me, she said nothing, I screamed and said, you see she is lying, she said to me CRAZY. The manager said so you are CRAZY I am saying that to you right now, the mgr said it to me. I took my t-shirt off and throw it to him and
said I quit. I was so upset, because how could they say crazy to me "waalow"
I hope you find it funny, please if you have something you thinks it is funny that happen to you or your friend pls share with me. I know I have some more that happen to me, but I can't remember now. I will post it as soon as I remember 'em.
NOTE: PLS EXCUSE MY POOR ENGLISH GRAMMAR |
| Box-head | Monday, January 15, 2001 - 12:36 pm
UUUM NAZ WATEVER I DIDN'T FIND IT FUNNY AT ALL, IT IS NOT FUNNY 4REAL, I MEAN U WERE TELLING US STORY ABOUT UR LIFE, IF I HURT UR FEELING IN ANY WAY FEEL FREE TO INSALT ME. YEE MAYBE SOME OTHER PPL MAY FIND IT FUNNY HUH U PUNK HEAD, I MEAN HOW DID U THOUGH SOME ONE WELL LAUGH WITH THIS, U WERE JUST STUPID I GUES, I MEAN NONE OF IT MADE SENSE OF WAT U SAID, ALL OF IT SO WHY DON'T U TRY AGAIN FAKE JOKER, U ARE GOOD AT STEALING OTHER JOKES FROM OTHER PPL BUT U GET FUCKT UP WHEN U WRITE UR OWN JOKE |
| acuu du bilaah | Monday, January 15, 2001 - 02:20 pm
anas,
if it's you that leaves the jokes here, they are funny.
but this was so boring sorry. |
| SeDuCeR | Tuesday, January 16, 2001 - 08:19 am
Stinky BOX-HEAD..Are u as clueless in real life as u are on SomaliNet? Get A life...And Remember "repetition teaches a Donkey!" Get A life again.....ANAS is Funny guy and everyone on this Forum knows his jokes. Most, whatever he wrotes r funny to us. Got it BOX-HEAD.
ANAS! Let me share mine too....One time I went Super Market to get some -(Caano-Fadhi,Garoor), when I made to the Milk section I could not tell which one is the Milk that I wanted..I spent at least 30min trying to find out, so I gave up..I call one of the workers and I ask him:" Where is The Sitting Milk?". He said:" what!what is dat?". Fortunately, there was a Somali woman helps me, and she said they call it 'Butter Milk'. |
| aniga | Wednesday, January 17, 2001 - 03:21 am
anas iam sorry man but i have to be faer this is suck it make me to think again man you steal other ppl's story when you try your own se how you suck man you are not funny any more and ppl know you now you tuug xadda dadka kale sheekooyinkooda waa kuu dhamaatay sucker. |
| LAMIA | Wednesday, January 17, 2001 - 04:43 am
ANAAAAS THAT WAS FUNNYYYYYYYYYYY. U TOO SEDUCER. DANG I'M STILL LAUGHING AND TRYING TO KEEP IT DOWN CUZ I'M IN CLASS AND THEY R GONNA THINK THAT I'M CRAZYY.
GUYS I WAS SCARED TO EVEN GET OUT BY MYSELF B4 I LEARNED ENGLISH. I ALWAYS TOOK SOMEONE WID ME. |
| honey | Wednesday, January 17, 2001 - 11:57 am
man ur not funny but you are surely fine |
| ANAS | Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 04:45 am
To Box-head!
LOL u called ur self boxhead. That is funny I guess someone locked your box-head and took the key with them....lol. just joking. As a matter of fact i like the attitude, coz i took that as a complement. I mean this one "U ARE GOOD AT STEALING OTHER JOKES FROM OTHER PPL BUT U GET FUCKT UP WHEN U WRITE UR OWN JOKE" this shows me that you always read my jokes. I am sorry if I disappointed you and your friend aniga this time.
To Seducer!
Man that was hillarious, I am still laughing at "SITTING MILK" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHH
TO LAMIA, ACUUDU....,HONEY
THANKS TO ALL OF YOUR COMPLEMENTS. i REALLY APPRECIATED. |
| HIBO | Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 07:46 am
To ANAS:
I did find that funny. at least your trying to make us laugh and that's what counts. so keep up the good work and keep posting it.
And to all those ppl who thought that anas was not funny, he is trying to make U laugh so appreciate ok.
your biggest fan Hibo |
| Anas | Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 08:08 am
To HIBO!
I don't like coming back to my posting every time someone make comments about it, but yours was very touchy, and "unignorable" (lol! this word doesn't exit, but I like to use it), I had to came back to say thank you so much, all of this time I 've been trying to say thank you, after seeing what you wrote about me in the nomination section. That was really nice of you, and don't worry about them ppl, coz I don't get offend that eazy. Again thanks! keep visiting to my postings, and I promise I shall try my best to make you laugh. I should say all of my ppl.
take care, till next time peace and love |
| Amina | Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 04:58 pm
Hey Anas, i like bro... there is nothing like laughing at yourself really. Wallaahy you are one carzy joker. no, no, no i am not calling you name hon. It is a compliment okay..
I am serious now.. have you ever thought of doing stand up??
Boxhead and co.. Two words 2 ya.. Sense of humour.. You gotta have it... to feel it, aight..
Peace, Love and Happiness |
| Anas | Friday, January 19, 2001 - 04:03 am
Hey Amina!
first of all I love your name, coz that is my older sister's name. plus you sound just like her, you smile like her, talk like her, look like her. You probably wondering how do I know? I am not just a joker, I am also a psychic reader, as long as I have your wordings, and name"even if it's fake one", I can visualize you. You want prove, let me describe how do you look: you are very pretty, have two eyes, legs, arms and hair. If that description doesn't fit you, let me know. Coz I am gonna have to re-think about my psychic professional. LoooooooL
Now let me answer your question, about have you ever thought of doing stand up??
yeh I thought about it, but I don't think I can do it, you know why coz I am very shy guy, when it comes to talking to the ppl, specially ladies. I took alot of speech and communication classes never worked. I went to a doctor to find out what is wrong with me and how can I improve! He told me the only way I can do stand ups or speak in front of ppl is, I have to have at least two ladies holding my hands, and both have to be my Wives. We all know it's illegal to have two Wives in U.S.A except, unless I want to move to UTAH. If I move to utah and even get 2Wives, who is gonna listen to me in utah, MORMANS? I don't think so.
now I sound really crazy, don't I?. take care hon.
peace and luv y'all |
| Lucky~Girl | Saturday, January 20, 2001 - 12:47 pm
Hi anas i found that funny and i'd like to share a few recently ebarassing moments with you.
A friend of mine rang me and i decided to put on my fake American accent for him to cheer him up. Then after i said what i said he said that it sounded reall and applauded me, anyway he also said "yaa ku faro barey" meaning, who taught you. I took it in a rude way as i didn't understand the term.I told him to get off my line and put the phone down. After when my mum explained it to me i was so embarassed cos of the way i acted. I called him and explained and he started to laugh and so did i.
Another stupid incident was on december 23 when i had a chemistry lesson with my home tutor and i called him to say i couldn't make it. And because it was nearly Christmas he naturally told me he couldn't give me another lesson until after the new year. I took it as if he was saying "see you next year". Like if someone said that to me now i would be mad, cos it's just the begining of the year. Anyway i think u get me. And then i was like "what do you mean see you next year?, i'm paying you therefor i see you when i want". Then he was like "i didn't mean that". Oh god that was probably the 100th most embarassing time of my life as i have had many.
LOTS OF LUV~ALL THE WAY |
| Amina: | Saturday, January 20, 2001 - 03:42 pm
Anas wooooooow bro, what else can you see? Does that mean that i have to be in my best behaviour infront of the computer now?
Thanks for your nice comments hon., your not only a joker and a psychic, your also a sweetheart.
I have a solution 4 ya, you can come to london 2 do your standups bro, the authorities will let you have a second wife if you tell them that its a religious thing.... and your audience will be Amina & co.. Think about it... (the only problem is - your wives may not let u out of da house)
P.S crazy is an understatement lil bro!! 
Peace, love and Happiness. |
| Anas | Saturday, January 20, 2001 - 10:05 pm
Hey Lucky~Girl!
LoooooooooL, sorry I can't help it, I am still cracking up here, girl you got me good. That was fantastic,wat a joke. Sis I visualized the whole story, and that is what really really got me. I love it, I love it thanks for sharing with us.
Amina!
That was really sweet of you, thanks. I thought you were going to say, I shall be one of wives.LOOOOOL. You probably saying now, you wish!!!!!!! take care now, I shall see you soon till than PIZ N LUV SIS. |
