Shaadaa | Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 01:49 pm The Top 5 Email Sex Jokes >> > >> > Number five >> > A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he >> > does, his elbow goes >> > into her breast. They are both quite startled. The >> > man turns to her and >> > says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your >> > breast, I know you'll forgive >> > me." She replies, "If your penis as hard as your >> > elbow, I'm in room 221." >> > >> > Number four >> > A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to >> > a gorgeous woman. He >> > notices she is reading a manual about sexual >> > statistics. He asks her about >> > it and she replies, "This is a very interesting >> > book. It says that American >> > Indians have the longest penises and Jewish men have >> > the biggest diameter >> > penises. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" >> > "Tonto Greenburg, nice >> > to meet you." >> > >> > Number three >> > One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the >> > husband starts rubbing his >> > wife's arm. The wife turns over and says:"I'm sorry >> > honey, I've got a >> > gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to >> > stay fresh." The husband, >> > rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls >> > back over and taps his >> > wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment >> > tomorrow too?" >> > >> > Number two >> > Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been >> > employed there for a number of >> > years when he came home one day to confess to his >> > wife that he had a >> > terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his >> > penis into the pickle >> > slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex >> > therapist to talk about >> > it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He >> > vowed to overcome the >> > compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, >> > Bill came home. His wife >> > could see at once that something was seriously >> > wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" >> > she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I >> > had this tremendous urge >> > to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, >> > you didn't." "Yes, I >> > did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." >> > "No, Bill. I mean, what >> > happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got >> > fired too." >> > >> > Number one >> > A couple had been married for 50 years. They were >> > sitting at the breakfast >> > table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, >> > fifty years ago we were >> > sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I >> > know," the old man said, >> > "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds >> > fifty years ago." "Well," >> > Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." >> > Whereupon the two stripped >> > to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, >> > honey," the little old >> > lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as Hot >> > for you today as they were >> > fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied >> > Gramps. "One's in your >> > coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." >> > |