     Somali-Psycho | Thursday, March 29, 2001 - 11:49 pm
A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was
> > different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same
> tricks
> over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's
> > parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician
> did
> every trick.
> >
> > Once he understood, he started shouting in middle of the show:
> > Look, it's not the same hat!"
> > "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
> > "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
> >
> > The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all,
> the
> > captain's parrot.
> >
> > One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself
> on
> > a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it,
> the
> > parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word.
> >
> > This went on for a day and then another. On the third day, the parrot
> > could not hold back any longer:
> >
> > "OK, I give up. Where's the f*cking ship?
> -----------------------------------------------------------
parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem,
I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and
read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house,
and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job.My parrots can
teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure
to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As
he ushered her in she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage,
holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed she walked over and placed her
parrots in with them.
After a few minutes the female parrots cried out in unison:
"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Finally one male parrot looked over at the
other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the fuckin' beads away Francis,
our prayers have finally been answered!" |
| DHEXAYAR2001 | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 02:58 am
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL MY FRIEND TOLD ME THE EXACT JOKE MAN I LOVED IT, HEY MAYBE ITS U, HE USES "COOL AS ICE" THE LAST I SAW HIM
ANYWAYS THANKS FOR REMINDING ME
GOOD 1 MAN |
| Mursal | Friday, March 30, 2001 - 04:27 am
Good jokes, keep'em coming... |
| SOMALI-PSYCHO | Monday, April 02, 2001 - 10:09 am
SOMALI-PSYCHO IS THE ONLY NICK I USE.
GOOD TO KNOW THAT YOU LIKED THE JOKE.
ENJOY THE FOLLOWING.......
"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't
answer." Hannah, 9
"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." Michael, 14
"Stay away from prunes." Randy, 9
"Never pee on an electric fence." Robert, 13
"Don't squat with your spurs on." Noronha, 13
"Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, 10
"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your
hair." Taylia,11
"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your
school assignment." Traci, 14
"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers."
Mitchell,12
"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac."
Andrew, 9
"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, 9
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, 9
"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, 11
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, 15
"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, 9
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
Joel,10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone." Alyesha, 13
"Never try to baptize a cat." Eileen, 8 |
