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Joke Competition.........Jokes only....Mursal

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Ila Qosol - Jokes: Ila Qosol - Jokes (Current): Joke Competition.........Jokes only....Mursal
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Mursal

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 09:41 am
Here goes mine, let's see if you top this one.
But make as clean as possible aight!!!!!!!!

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

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Somali-Psycho

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 09:55 am
ENJOY THE FOLLOWING.......
"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't
answer." Hannah, 9

"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." Michael, 14

"Stay away from prunes." Randy, 9

"Never pee on an electric fence." Robert, 13

"Don't squat with your spurs on." Noronha, 13

"Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, 10

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your
hair." Taylia,11

"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your
school assignment." Traci, 14

"Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers."
Mitchell,12

"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac."
Andrew, 9

"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, 9

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, 15

"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
Joel,10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone." Alyesha, 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." Eileen, 8

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Mursal

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 11:40 am
Is this a repeat, have't we seen this before?.

Thank you though..

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Jabriil

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 11:52 am
Here is another:

A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "13...........13...........13.............13" the man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned '14....14...14....14.'

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somali-psycho

Tuesday, April 03, 2001 - 12:20 pm
Mursal let me know if this one is a repeat.
If you know a bit about Brits politics you will enjoy the joke.
************************************
The Rev Ian Paisley dies and goes to heaven, and when he got there he knocked long and hard on the door. St Peter came out and asked him his name. "You don't know my name? I'm the Rev Ian Paisley",he roared at St Peter. St Peter looked at his list and could not find his name. "Sorry", says St Peter, "Your name is not on the list". "What do you mean I'm not on the list???? Do you not know know who I am????". "As a matter I do.", said St Peter, "But your name is not on the list." " That's not good enough. I'm a very important person and my name should be on that list." St Peter tried to explain that its not easy to get into heaven, and that you have to be a Catholic, so when Paisley hears this he starts to complain, so St Peter says that if he had been to Catholics, then would have some chance. "Well, I'll have you know that I have been very good to Catholics. Why, only 2 weeks ago I met a young girl who made her first communion and I gave her a pound and 2 weeks later I met a young boy who had made his first communion and I gave him a pound. Now what do you say to that, St Peter?????" St Peter took a few notes on what he said, and he told Rev Paisley to wait so that he would have to go and talk to God and get some advice. About ten minutes later St Peter came out and said to Paisley, "Hears your two pounds back, now fcuk off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Mursal

Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 05:51 am
S. Psycho,

That was pretty good joke, keep'em coming.
Here is another one.

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth."

Let me know what you think of it.

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Somali-Psycho

Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 11:38 am
Mursal that was classic...Thanks
check this one....

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat nextto a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then
casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The women notices this and asks,"Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
Bond explains, " It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, what's it telling you now?" - "Well,it says you're not wearing any knickers...." The woman giggles and
replies,"Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"
Bond tuts,taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."

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Amal

Wednesday, April 04, 2001 - 01:49 pm
Mursal & Somali psycho,

I really enjoyed the jokes they were really
funny (loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool)!!!!

This is a pickup line that I thought was funny!!!
"Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too".
TOP TEN THINGS MEN SHOULDN'T SAY IN VICTORIA'S SECRET (womens lingrie store)!!!!!
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No Thanks. Just Sniffing..
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me???
3. The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!
2. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
And the number one thing that a man should never, ever say out loud in Victoria's Secret:
1. 45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!!

KEEP UP THE GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!

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Somali_psycho

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 10:44 am
That was cool Amal. Thankx

Best of nuns jokes
*****************************************
Two nuns are bicyling down a cobblestone street. The first one says to the other, "I
haven't come this way before".
The second one says, " I know, it's the cobbles".
******************************************
How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups?
Tell her she's pregnant!!!
******************************************
What is the definition of suspicion?
A nun doing press-up's in a cucumber field?
******************************************
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
******************************************
What do elephant use for tampons?
sheep.


PS: I do apologise if the above jokes cause
any inconvinience to some readers:(

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ACUU DU BILAAH

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 11:06 am
sOMALI PSYCHO, I LOVE YOUR JOKES KEEP IT UP. BUT TELL ME IF YOU LIKE MINE. PLEASE I HOPE I DON'T OFFEND ANYONE.


THIS JOKE IS CALLED WHAT ARE WE


>>>>There was a plane flying over the Atlantic. The pilot got on the
>>>>intercom and said that the plane was experiencing difficulties and that
>>>>the weight would have to be lessened on the plane. So he said that
>>>>everyone had to throw their luggage off the plane. Everyone did. He
>>>>got back on the intercom, "The plane is still too heavy, so people are
>>>>going to have to jump off, but we're going to do this alphabetically.
>>>>All African-Americans please jump off the plane." No one stood up.
>>>>He got back on and said,
>>>> "All Blacks, please jump off the plane. " still no one stood up.
>>>>"All coloreds, please jump off the plane." Again, no one stood up.
>>>>Then the smart, well-mannered little Black boy turned to his prim and
>>>>proper well-educated, affluent mother and said,
>>>> "Mother, aren't we all those things?"
>>>> And the mother answered, "No baby, today we be Niggas."
>>>>
>>>
>

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Mursal

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 11:38 am
Here is one from Mursal..

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5
weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

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Bro M.C

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 11:38 am
What do women and Hurricane have in common?

When they're coming both "Woman & Huricane" they both hot and wet, and when they leaving they destroy your house, take your money, car and belongins.


keep it comin baby I am enjoying up here!!!!till next time peace

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Somali-Psycho

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 12:28 pm
Accu Dubillah, Mursal and Bro MC
Well done!!!
********************************************
One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub
> together.
> They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to
> enjoy
> their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and
> became stuck in the thick heads.
> The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman
> fished the offending
> fly out of his beer and continued drinking as if nothing had happened. The
> Irishman also picked the
> fly out of his drink. He held it out over the beer and then started
> yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you b*stard!"
>
>

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Amal

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 01:30 pm
GOOD JOB Y'ALL VERY FUNNY(LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)HOPE Y'ALL LIKE MINE*******************

Top nine things you'll NEVER hear one guy say
!!!!!!!to another guy !!!!!!!!!

1. Does my butt look fat in this?
2. I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!
3. Yours is bigger than mine.
4. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.
5. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.
6. Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!
7. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commericals.
8. I'm deeply offended by young women who go bra-less.
9. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.

*DURING THE MAKING OF THIS NO MALES WERE HARMED**

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somali-psycho

Thursday, April 05, 2001 - 02:03 pm
Boys and girls.
A last one for the weekend. Have a nice one.

Two nuns in a bath. The first one says,"where is the soap"?
The second one replies, "Yes it does,doesn't it".

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Amal

Friday, April 06, 2001 - 07:35 pm
Two guys are having a conversation about dates they had before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*********First guy" so what kind of women had you dated"?

*********Second guy says" well tons of different women but my favorite was the homeless woman"

*********First guy" why is that"

*********Second guy replies laughing" because at the end of the date I dropped her off anywhere but we have a date tonight and I don't know where to pick her up from".

*********First guy" See brotha thats why I pick her up not vice versa"

KEEP THE JOKES COMIN Y'ALL
MUCH LOVE****************!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mursal

Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 05:02 am
Check this out,

An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. He gives him the advice: "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It was fantastic and it really helped, you should try it too!". Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed. "I see you followed my advice?".

"I did", answers the employee, "It was great! By the way I didn't know you had such a nice house!".

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Mursal

Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 05:47 am
Has anyone seen this before?


DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It only takes about 30 seconds to complete this.

1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. Try for more than once but less than 10.

2. Multiply this number by 2.

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply it by 50. I'll wait while you get the calculator.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1751. If you haven't, add 1750.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born (e.g., 1952).

You should now have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The second two digits are your age. Right???

The Year 2001 is the only year this will work.

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somali-psycho

Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 05:55 am
I don't want to ruin the fun but I've seen it B4.
You can change the content to anything from
the number of time you would like to eat in restaurant to just pick a number between 1and10 or have sex :)

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Mursal

Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 06:40 am
Has anyone seen this before?


DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It only takes about 30 seconds to complete this.

1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. Try for more than once but less than 10.

2. Multiply this number by 2.

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply it by 50. I'll wait while you get the calculator.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1751. If you haven't, add 1750.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born (e.g., 1952).

You should now have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The second two digits are your age. Right???

The Year 2001 is the only year this will work.

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Somali-psycho

Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 11:48 am
SOUNDS LIKE HE WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME.. >

TRANSCRIPT OF ALI G INTERVIEW WITH ELTON JOHN...... >

Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John Elton.
Respect.

Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali.

Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty boy cause I
Erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus
was mingin?

Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay though probably
Deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days
especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay.

Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about people
like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was taran you
wouldn't end up wiv a floppy or woz you trisexual and didn't care where
you was stickin' Mr biggy?

Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself I wasn't gay so I
never had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now know I
am homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a
woman now.
Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr biggy wasn't
Coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz
coz I drank a bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink
it woz coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog.

Elton John: I think you're Julie was right - it takes one to know one.

Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the bitch won't take
it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times.
Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex but she's not too
nice for a threesome wiv me mate Dave - it woz wicked!

Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on anal sex just as I know some gay
men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay doesn't
mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express
yourself sexually with another man.

Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic.

Elton John: Gaelic?

Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other.

Elton John: Sure, oral sex is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual massage can
be very enjoyable for example.

Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you're orange
juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens -
I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat
because you is a feminist?

Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn't describe myself
as a feminist

Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists?

Elton John: Eh?

Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton Cause I
fink he is rank.

Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John Elton.

Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you?

Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my stage name. Many performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd - can you imagine
the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me as Reg Dwight.

Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary Glitter
coz he's a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos - how's Yer mate George Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the preverted bastard.

Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said enough of the
gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another aspect of me.

Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you not fink
dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total dick in
the seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da seventies.

Elton John: If you're going to insult me any more I will walk out of the interview. I
can put up with a lot but you're going too far

Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the Wind song
when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated by da SAS on
da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat pissed French c*nt.

Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend Of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it.

Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy. Is she a femisist
or somefink?

Elton John: (Elton leaves the room) >

Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is
just too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv da homosapiens and havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv me boyz westside. Boyakasha.

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Anonymous

Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:29 pm
gettin a hard on is just like the theory of relativety, the more u think about it the harder it gets

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Mursal

Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 08:49 am
Following with the last joke...

A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."

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it wasnt me

Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 09:22 am
this guy goes to a pharmacy, and hands the attendent a prescription, the attendent says, u don't need this.
they guys says, oh i really need this, and the guy says u need this because u better off with out. and goes on it has more side affects then it could do any good.
plus u guys should had this sooner man,plus
acuu dubilaahi, i liked the one about the plane. nice one man

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somali-psycho

Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 11:50 am
The corniest joke ever !!! :)

A man took his sick, very limp, dog to the vet. The vet picked the dog up
and laid it on his surgery table, took out his stethoscope and placed it
against the dog's chest. After a moment the vet turned to the owner and
said, "I'm sorry but your dog is dead. The owner went berserk, "How can you
say my dog is dead? You haven't done any tests. I want a second opinion."
The vet went out of the surgery and came back a few moments later with a
Labrador. The vet pointed to the animal on the table and the Labrador went
and had a good sniff. It then shook it's head and left the room. The vet
went out again and then came back with a cat. The cat leapt up onto the
table and walked all round the dog, giving it a lick here and there, before
letting out a plaintive miaow, jumping down, and running out of the room.
The vet handed the owner a bill for $600. The owner was livid. "$600 just to
tell me my dog is dead?" The vet shook his had sadly and said, "If you had
taken my word for it the bi!
ll would have been $50, but with the Lab report and the cat scan...."

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ACUU DU BILAAH

Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 12:54 pm
SOMALI PSYCHO YOU ARE THE MAN!!!

THIS IS CALLED 19 KINDS OF SISTERS

Is this why men do not like the whole settling down thing?

1. Gold Digger
ADVANTAGES
A. Always looks good
B. Will give up the booty when you're spending cash
DISADVANTAGES
A. Will ONLY give up the booty when you're spending cash
B. Will leave you for the next sucker who has more cash-flow

2. Hoochie
ADVANTAGES
A. Always down to give up the booty
B. Looks good to all of your friends, which boosts your ego
DISADVANTAGES
A. Probably has slept with all of your friends or eventually will

3. Chickenhead
ADVANTAGES
A. Down for "what-eva"
B. Booty-call material
C. Will believe most of what you say and doesn't care about the rest
D. Has your back in most situations and will bust-a-cap if needed
DISADVANTAGES
A. Will bust a cap in YO ass, if need be
B. Ghetto as all hell
C. Comes with MAD drama included

4. Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem ready for a
relationship too.
B. Usually looks good every time you see her
DISADVANTAGES
A. Really looking for a husband
B. Will leave you if you start acting like you don't want to get
married or can't say exactly when you will be ready

5. Ms. "I'm looking for a husband"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem ready to get married too.
B. Usually looks good every time you see her
DISADVANTAGES
A. Marriage is her #1 goal in life and nothing else matters
B. Will leave you if you start acting like you don't want to get
married or can't say
exactly when you will be ready
C. Will bug the hell out of you until you marry her or leave her

6. Ex-girlfriend
ADVANTAGES
A. You can always go back to hit it again if you throw her a few lines
that make it seem that there's a slight possibility that you two may be
getting back together.
B. She looks even better now that you are not with her
DISADVANTAGES
A. She looks better now that you are not with her
B. She has caused you major drama

7. Your BabyMoma
ADVANTAGES
A. See advantages for Ex-girlfriend
DISADVANTAGES
A. See disadvantages for Ex-girlfriend
B. She's hitting you up for child support

8. Ms. "I'm looking for a daddy for my kids" AKA "Someone else's
BabyMoma", AKA 90% of eligible sistas
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem like a prospect to take
the job
B. Will do almost anything to get some help with her kid(s)
DISADVANTAGES
A. See Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship" & Ms. "I'm looking for a
husband"
B. Might get pregnant for you too, thinking that you might stay if
she has your child, which is the same ill logic that got her caught up
before

9. Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own sh*t"
ADVANTAGES
A. She has her own sh*t
B. All she really needs from you is one thing
DISADVANTAGES
A. She reminds you every chance she gets that she doesn't need you
until you get tired of hearing it and leave

10. "The Perfect Woman"
ADVANTAGES
A. Cooks
B. Cleans
C. Looks great
D. Sexes you up
E. Doesn't ask where you've been
F. Doesn't ask for much
G. Caters to your every need
DISADVANTAGES
A. Is usually Ms. "I'm looking for a relationship," Ms. "I'm looking
for a husband," or Ms. "I'm looking for a daddy for my kids" in
disguise
B. Everything will change once you make a commitment, especially if you
marry her

11. The almost Perfect woman
ADVANTAGES
A. Looks great.
B. Doesn't ask where you've been or many other questions
DISADVANTAGES
A. She's probably sleeping with someone you know

12. Ms. "I'm waiting on God to send me the perfect man, and eventhough
I'm in the club tonight I'll be in church tomorrow"
ADVANTAGES
A. May bring some morality to the relationship
DISADVANTAGES
A. The morality only applies when it's appropriate for her to make a
point or is to her advantage

13. Ms. "I know I don't live at home anymore, but I might as well
because I see or call my Moma every day"
ADVANTAGES
A. Easy babysitter access for her kid(s)
DISADVANTAGES
A. Her mother will eventually f-k up the relationship

14. Ms. "Dick Teaser"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give it up on the dance floor
B. Usually looks pretty good
C. You can always tell your friends that you've hit it and they'll
believe you
DISADVANTAGES
A. She'll let everyone else hit it but you...or at least that's what
they've told you

15. Ms. "Friend"
ADVANTAGES
A. Someone who finally understands you
DISADVANTAGES
A. You will always be attracted to her but don't want to f-k it up by
making a move
B. Can turn out to be a Tease

16. Ms. "Trick-Ass-B*tch"
ADVANTAGES
A. None
DISADVANTAGES
A. See disadvantages for Gold-digger, Hoochie, Chickhead, or
BabyMoma
Note: (Was considered a Gold-digger, Hoochie, Chickenhead, or
Girlfriend before you got
played)

17. Strong Black Woman
ADVANTAGES
A. Same advantages as Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own
••••," but hasn't had a
man in a while so it's easier for you hit it
DISADVANTAGES
A. Same disadvantages as Ms. "I don't need a man because I have my own
••••"
B. Will test your nuts once and a while, which may land you in domestic
violence classes

18. Ms. "I got screwed over in my last relationship so I'm going to take
all of that •••• out on you"
ADVANTAGES
A. Will give up the booty to show her ex-boyfriend/husband that she has
moved on
DISADVANTAGES
A. Takes all of that •••• out on you, meaning she doesn't trust you,
always thinks you're cheating,
and becomes needy once she believes you really are different

19. Ms. "I'm one of the guys"
ADVANTAGES
A. Likes sports,
B. low-maintenance
DISADVANTAGES
A. Wants to hang with you when you want to hang with JUST the guys
B. May beat you at competitive sports
C. You might want to do a crotch check before you try to hit it


SO GIRLS WHICH ONE ARE YOU??? PLS DON'T GET OFFENDED ANYONE

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Anonymous

Thursday, April 12, 2001 - 03:12 pm
Arday dhigta ESL class ayaa ardayad ka mid ah
waxay macalimadeedii way diisay inay qorto ereyga
(Sick) markaasay ardayadii waxay qortay (siik)saaxiibteed oo u dhawayd ayaa waxay jeclaysatay inay u qishto markaasay si tartiib ah waxay u tiri naa (SH) u dambaysii ardayadii sabuurada taagnayd macquul ayay la noqon wayday inay (SH) u dambaysiiso sideedii bayna ku adkaysatay. macalimadii ayaa markaa tiri waa khalad, saaxiibteed ayaa intay soo booday tiri imisaan ku lahaa (SH) u dambaysii.
U somali Pro,

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somali-psycho

Friday, April 13, 2001 - 07:25 am
Some descriptions for your CV!""


GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS..........Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS..........Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE...................Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.......Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY.............Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY....................Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY..........Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER.................Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING.....................Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER....................Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE.........................Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS.......Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL..........Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL.....A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES...........Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT.......Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR...............Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED......................Back Stabber
LOYAL..............................Can't get a job anywhere else

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