     Abdisalan FARADHEERE | Unrecorded Date
Somali man who lives in Kenyan Refugees camps takes to his wife to a kenyan court,after bitter argument in order to divorce. when his turn came, he was asked by the judge, what his case was? the Somali said I WANT TO OPEN MY WIFE,(waxan doonaya inaan furo xaaskeyga) the judge replied by saying why do you want to open your wife? the Somali guy said, because, she cut me leg(way ilugooyesey) and you cannot enter her ocean (badeedana ma geli kartid).the JUGDE LOUGHTS AND ASKED THE MAN TO BE REMOVED FROM HIS COURT...HAAA.HAAA.HAAA. |
| SmOoThiE | Unrecorded Date
Itz a oldie but a goodie ......Well done LoL..
SmOoTh |
| Ahmad | Unrecorded Date
Asalama Alaykum All!
Faradheere,
...I heard that in somali version---with a different time/place in history, but as always, keeps me rolling, `cause we somalis do alot of COOL stuff that make people reallllllyyyyy laugh!
...you out-done yourself...with the somali-commentary, also! WOohoO!!! Five STARS!
Blessed BE!
Peace, Ahmad!*>.<* |
| somalianbro | Unrecorded Date
There was a somalian guy who was in somalia. And he was leaving for the united states. But before he left somalia, his mother said a brayer for him, she said "Ilaahay ha kuu furo albaabada" He replaid "in-sha alaah."
When he got to the one of the states airport, he came accros a outmatic door, and the door opened its self for him. And so he cried out loud and said "ala hooyaday ducadeedi ayaa run noqotay" |
| AB | Unrecorded Date
A small one:
Once a Somali man saw a tall and beautiful white woman and told her companion; "your wife is horse"! (Waa faras - in Somali) lol.. |
| hersi | Unrecorded Date
Fardhere
that was very funy indeed.i laughed a lot , thanks |
| xx | Unrecorded Date
The Man just came to the U.S and neve seen traffic light before. The next day after he arrived in the U.s, he went out for walk with his uncle who was here longer than him. They have to cross this street with traficc light. First White WALK signal appeared, then his uncle told him let us cross the street fast, and in the middle , the signal start blinking WALK, Walk, Walk, uncle said that means run, so the guy run fast.
Hope you guys at least smile, |
| YASMIN | Unrecorded Date
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT THATS NOT HOW THE STORY GOES!!!!!!!! ANYWAYS THAT WAS FUNNY, I DONT HAVE TIME AT THE MOMENT BUT I'LL MAKE MAKE SURE I REWRITE IT SOON, INSHALLAH. |
| Yasmin | Unrecorded Date
THATS NOT HOW THE STORY GOES!!!!!! ANYWAYS THAT FUNNY, I DON'T I HAVE TIME AT MOMENT, BUT I'LL MAKE SURE I DO IT IN THE FUTURE SOMETIME. GOOD TRY ANYWAYS.INSHALLAH! |
| YASMIN | Unrecorded Date
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT THATS NOT HOW THE STORY GOES!!!!!!!! ANYWAYS THAT WAS FUNNY, I DONT HAVE TIME AT THE MOMENT BUT I'LL MAKE MAKE SURE I REWRITE IT SOON, INSHALLAH. |
| YASMIN | Unrecorded Date
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT THATS NOT HOW THE STORY GOES!!!!!!!! ANYWAYS THAT WAS FUNNY, I DONT HAVE TIME AT THE MOMENT BUT I'LL MAKE MAKE SURE I REWRITE IT SOON, INSHALLAH. |
| samiira | Unrecorded Date
hahahahha it is the best jokes i ever seen in this forums caz all this people do is diss each other any ways i got one but is short but i'll do it letter maybe tommorrow insha alaah
bye |
| samiira | Unrecorded Date
here i came and like i said it is short like it or not is this about this somali dude who called the police for his wife and when the police come over they ask him what his problem is he siad the problem is his wife they said what about it he siad she is figering my buisness(shaqadeeyda ayeey faragalineey saa)
it is not that funy i guess but i just had to say it peace |
| G*** | Unrecorded Date
To . Abdisalaan faroos !
Gix, gix, gix...That was Verry funny..ooh.
Great job !. |
| PreCiouS | Unrecorded Date
Samiira that was funny ..how come i neva heard of it!
Blink Blink
Bye yo wall |
| SAMIIRA | Unrecorded Date
PRECIOUS SIS THAT IS BECAUSE U BEEN THINKING ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED HOW CAN U THINK ABOUT JOKES
...HAHAHAAHHAH...LOL
PRECIOUS IS JUST A JOKE AIGHT WE ARE BODIES AREN'T
WE ....
LET ME TELL U THIS IS FUNY ONE BUT I'LL SAY IT IN
SOMALI CAZ IS SOUNDS BETTER IN SOMALI AIGHT HERE
WE GO
MALIN NIN SOMALI AH IYO NIN REER XAMAR AH AA ISKU
IMAADAY KAN SOMALIGA WUXUU HAYSTAY CADAY DHEER
KANKALE BAA YIRI OO REER XAMARKA AH ..ABOO CADAYGA
DABADA IIGA JABI ..HE MEANS (QAAR II JABI)
THAT SOMALI DUDE SAID NO U DO IT
HE SIAD NO IT IS YOURS THEN THAT SOMALI GUYS SAID
..ADIGA IS KU JABI ...REER XAMAR SAID ADIGA
ISKALEHEE IIJABI NOOH ...AR SOMALI
MARALEEYAA...THE SOMALI MAN SIAD HAYEBO REER XAMAR
WAREER SAN WAABO LA ARKI JIRAAYEE KEEN ..GA DAAL
INTUU KAMARAY UU "DABADA UGA JABIYAY
HAHAHHAHHAA I HOPE MY SIS PRECIOUS LAUGHT'S SO |
| JAMAYA | Unrecorded Date
ha ha ha hi hi hi hu hu hu ih ih IH
YOU R VERY FUNNY |
| samiira | Unrecorded Date
hey guys what the hell is happening no one wrote anything since then bye yo come back and write something i got lots of them u guys start and i come bet on it |
| AyanDaORINGINAL | Unrecorded Date
There were two Somali men who were fighting, and an English speaking man tried to break up the fight. One of the somali man was like "What's your fifteen here"....translation..."Maxaa kaaga shan iyo toban ah" |
| Faysal | Unrecorded Date
A somali guy came to Danmark, after he was granted assylum, he started to learn the danish language.
In Danish klip, means cut- while knep means ••••.
The man came to a barber to cut his hair and he said please knep me, and knep good, which letrally means " please •••• me and •••• me good", the lady in the barber felt insulted and asked the man to get out of her saloon- The somali guy was very angry and told us later the story, saying that he was throwing out becouse the woman was racist!!!
and time and again we remind him!!!!!!
HA HA HA
Faysal |
| deeqo | Unrecorded Date
Maalin maalmaha ka mid ayaa waxaa soo qaxay niman reer somali ah markaas ayaa waxay yimaadeen neyrobi, kenya waxay gateen sharci lagu soo dhoofo. markaas waxay soo adeen canada, toronto markii lasoo dhofay diyaarada dhexdeeda ayaa hal nin ayaa wuxuu haystey khontan shilin oo USA ah markaas diyaarada dhexdeeda ayuu waxuu u maleeyay inuu iibsanayo cuntada markii qufkasta cuntadii lasiinaayay ayuu wuxuu yiraa waan dharganahay marwalba waxuu dhahaa waa dharganahay markii dambe oo loo soo dhawaaday canada ayaa nin nimanka ka mid ahaa waydiiyay waryaa maxaad la dharag san tahay tan iyo kinya miyaadan gaajoonin , markaa soow ugu jawaabay mayee ninyahoow aniga kotan shilin kaliya ayaan haystaa mana rabo inaan isticmalo ee waa jidmarkeeygii sidaa darteed ayaan ulahaa waan dherganahay. war dhimo lagu qaadyee maxaad gajada iskugu dishay cuntadu ma aha iibmarkaasuu yiri oo maxaadan iigu sheeginaaa markii horeba AHAHAHAH waa reer baadiyeee |
| Anonymous | Sunday, June 25, 2000 - 09:07 am
well well well you guys tried hard to make me lough but you never made me lough . However I give you guys credit anyway, because of your time.
I have question for ya guys are they all somalian uneducated? i don't why? I mean i saw all the joke you guys made are only somalian ppl. plssssssssssssssssssss. get really now have another joke |
| Jiir | Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 06:44 am
To anonymous
Ahahaha ahahaha u seems to be a freaking smart person. I wonder how do u know that all Somalis are uneducated, indeed u are right, we are all ignorant like you.
Get a life and try to cure your calcified brain.
Here we are Somalinet. No parking except Somalis. |
| Somali | Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 09:53 pm
Well said Jiir!
Bet you can tell who is who in this arena of only Somalis.....glad you've detected that so called somali ajanabi ismood guy/gal above and told him/her what they deserve.
Thats was you Anon ! Educate your self before you say something about us, cus it seems to me you're the one who needs few more years of schooling.....according to your piece of writing. |
| DARABT | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 01:49 am
LOL DAMN I WAS READING JOKES THIS ONE GOT ME CRACKING HOPE I DOES SAME FO U I MISSED YA BABY CHAT TO CHAT ROOM SON BYE. |
| DARAT | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 01:51 am
LOL DAMN BABY I WAS UP READING THIS JOKES AND THIS ONE GOT ME CRACKING HOPE DO SAME FO U ANYWAYZ I MISSED YA HOPE U CALL ME SOON OR COMR TO CHAT ROOM BYE |
| carab | Wednesday, August 09, 2000 - 04:14 am
juumjujuju kukuku lululululul deeqo that was funny sis keep trying to make good jokes like this one sis
peace & lolololol |
| Abdiyo | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 10:47 am
Sheeko bari dhacday'
Gabar yar ayaa laga keenay baadiyo oo lookeeynay
Edadeed oo joogta xamar. Guriga waxa jooga ilmo iyada isla'eg yihii, Marka malintii ugu horey say ayaa qadadii laysku wada daray ilmihii oo dhan. Sidaa darteed ilmahii qadadii way cunaan, kabacdi baa edadadii waydiisay gabadha qadada maxaad si fiican ugu cuni wayday. Markaas ayay ugu jawabtay Sadax jeer ayay i yirahdeen soo cun. |
| Ahmed Yussef | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:53 am
Assalaam u alaikum
I am not a funny person but here are a couple of attempts, I hope there successful 
-----
A Scotsman won a toilet brush as the booby prize in a raffle. He had never won anything before, though, so he was delighted. A few weeks later a friend asked if he was getting much use from the toilet brush. "Well," came the reply, "I don't think much of it. I think I'll go back to using toilet paper."
----
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
----
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a Funeral car slowly drive by. Following the first Funeral car was a second Funeral car, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied.
"I'm sorry," said Bill, "What happened to her ?"
"My dog bit her and she died." Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog ?"
The man replied, "Get in line."
---
I hope you found these funny.
Macsalaamo |
| ladyhoops | Friday, August 11, 2000 - 01:36 pm
A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, gulps it down and looks in his pocket, orders another one, gulps it down and looks in his pocket. The man does this about 7 or 8 times the bartender finally asks," Every time you finish your drink you look in your pocket, what's in your pocket?"
The man replies," Oh...I have a picture of my wife in there...I drink until she looks good then I go home." |
| G spot | Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 06:54 pm
Count me me in
There was motrition he used to wash dead people's body.One day they brought this guy name Swarfe who died in neutral couse.Swarf had huge private part (manding),the motrition was shocked when he sees that part, so he cut it of then came home wit it,after few drings he called his wife honey i got some thing to show you he pulled out the part the wife replied "OH MY GOD SWARFE DIED?"
I AM ASSUMING YALL GOT IT |
| SWTGURL | Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 09:12 pm
LLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL YALL SO FUNNY KEEP IT UP...HAHAHAHA MAN THE BIT ABOUT THE WIFE REPORTING MISSING HUSBAND I FOUND REALLY FUNNY...........
LOL..PEACE OUT THEY WERE ALL REALLY FUNNY JOKES..OO KALA DARDARAN...LOL
BYE ALL |
| ilhaam | Monday, October 16, 2000 - 01:22 am
hi
hersi
is that ur name
thats second name i've seen any man or boy ever have that name
bye
ilhaam |
| SHORTYLOVE | Monday, October 16, 2000 - 05:52 am
"BIG MAN IN A SMALL TOWN"
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He dicided to come back to the samall town because he could be a big man in this samll town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slaw at first.
One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. he decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. you tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.
Tell the DA I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details." This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?" THE MAN REPLIED, "I'M FROM THE PHONE COMPANY. I CAME TO HOOK UP YOUR PHONE."
I hape I made you guys laugh cuz I'm falling of my chair, ouch I heart my ass<<oops I hope there's no kids in this room sorry you guys.
Peace in the middle east. |
| mr_macaane | Thursday, October 19, 2000 - 09:59 am
you guys are very funny, but I don`t know why.
maalin maalmaha ka mida ayaa waxaan i qabtay kacsi markaasaan waxaan u tagay naag Ethiopiana waxay ahayd 1 o`clock in the noon itoopiyankana waa dad aan qabaysan markaan is iri was baa waxaa naagtii afarteeda gees kasoo uray waxaanan sheegi karin aaaaac uufff damn she smell like fircoon, anoo matag i hayaan cararay anoo ah nin wasakhda aan jeclayn iyo urka. haye akhyaarta waxaas maxaa u taqaanaan funny_boy i dhaha marka ileen waan mutaystaye. excuse me am I funny? |
