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!!!!!!! Pigeons and Scrubs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SomaliNet Forum (Archive): Ila Qosol - Jokes: Archive (August 2000): !!!!!!! Pigeons and Scrubs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Qalanjo

Unrecorded Date
THE FOLLOWING IS WHAT THE WESTERN ''PIGEONS' SAY TO 'SCRUBS' WHEN HAVING CONVERSATIONS


Great Female Comebacks...

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit
down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized !

Man: I know how to 'please a woman'.
Woman: Then 'please' leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably
die laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Very Funny!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
HA HA LOVED IT!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
to be continued..

man=can we go F#CK?
women=•••• what?

man=you know,me stick this in you.
woman=sorry i don't use sticks.

man=i mean this(penis).
Woman=wow!what the hell is that?
woman=running for her life.

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Daddy_Cool

Unrecorded Date
Qalanjo damn that waz funny...

Keep da good work up
Daddy_Cool: Hey Qalanjo can we contact, can I phone u?
Qalanjo: Yes and no?

what do u say Qalanjo?
looooool

I'm out
Peace and Love

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DMX

Unrecorded Date
Qalanjo
How would a woman respond to this chat up line:
'Baby if your right leg was winter and your left leg was summer how about i come and visit u in the rainy season'
Keep up the good work.
Peace

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
qalanjo, that was the most funniest thing i heard in months. girl keep up the good work.
u is a tight joker.

peace and love

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layla

Unrecorded Date
hey girls, we sure know how tell 'em don't we. love and peace.
lates

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
I HATE PIGEONS

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Dalilama

Unrecorded Date
Qalanjo
damn baby you so funny
I luved that but you gatta show some luv to da brothas too caz you know we luv all ya

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just

Unrecorded Date
To: Qalanjo

Man that was so funny!
Where did you get that from?
Anyway keep up the good work!!!

Ladies rule!!!!

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Lady

Unrecorded Date
Anyone interested in good music?
Who's your favorite and why?
Keep the good stuff coming!

and yes ladies rule!!!

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faiza

Unrecorded Date
yes ladies rule!!

i like good music
my favorites are n'sync
and DMX
leave your email and we'll keep in contact

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diehard

Unrecorded Date
Strange! I got an e-mail from a friend who asked me to read this joke! It is really fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ubax

Unrecorded Date
To Qalanjo
man we can tell that you are true
somalian woman caz that's how we respond
to the mans we don't want to talk to
I loved the Joked girl
peace out

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Lady

Unrecorded Date
To: Faiza

Finally some one who's got good taste!
I like r&b and pop. My favorite at the moment is with out a doubt: *NSYNC.

With a page like this (and so many teens) i thought that there would be a music forums, for those who appriciate good music.

Faiza you can e-mail me on:
www.aliyaJackson.hotmail.com
We'll chat there (insha alaah)

Ps: To SOMALINET: Make a MUSIC FORUM. I'm sure people will appriciated!
Keep up the good work and lot of love to my fiends in Holland in the U.k!
And to Faiza: Hope to hear from you soon!

See ya!

Lady.

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Lady

Unrecorded Date
To: Faiza

I made a mistake my e-mail address is:
www.aliyaJackson@hotmail.com

Peace to all and music talk please!!

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DMX

Unrecorded Date
To Faiza
My e-mail address is dmx_the_ruff_ryder@hotmail.com
Hope to hear from u soon
Peace out
Dat Djibotian nigga
DMX

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MANPOWER&STEEL

Unrecorded Date
yo qalanjo:
i got enough recpect for all your other jokes, but ihope this one does't applieas to REAL nigaz.
And one more thing to all the ladies who keep saying "ladys rules" since when. imean other than allah men rule this world. is being like that before and its going to be remain that way "SORRY NICE TRY THOUGH"

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qalanjo

Unrecorded Date
my e-mail is..
Qalanjo5@hotmail.com.

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qalanjo

Unrecorded Date
Qalanjo_qeybsami_weydey@hotmail.com <Qalanjo_qeybsami_weydey@hotmail.com>

or this one here....

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PrettyBoy_2die4

Unrecorded Date
I must say that was a really good thing
That every one gets to post
E-mails.Well hey i don't mind posting either
mine is
PrettyBoy_2die4@hotmail.com

well hey i respect somali ladies very well.
As long as i get respect..Peace and Great love..

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omar

Unrecorded Date
guys i think we respect each other, will be fine for all of us.
thanks

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will england

Unrecorded Date
oh dat was nice baby come on cool me down tonight

love and peace

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JACK

Unrecorded Date
QALANJO OUR JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY TO ME AT ALL MAYBE TO OTHER. SHARMUTO WAA GU WASO AROT RASOO.
NASO YAR, SIL WANN.

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JACK

Unrecorded Date
I MUST SAY ONE THING TO ALL U SOMALIES OUT THERE,
ALL YOUR JOKES ARE FUNNY BUT NOT THAT FUNNY.QALANJO HOW OLD ARE BY THE WAY? AND WHERE DO U LIVE? AND ARE A REAL SOMALI?

SEND ME AN E-MAIL. MASE3000@HOTAMIL.COM

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
The jokes are very funny. I loved them!
And i hope u bring lot of other ones!

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SURFGAL

Unrecorded Date
Keep up the good work sis I liked them and ignore the haterz coz they just jealous of ur talent

PEACE LOVE AND HAPPINESS

We should get a music forums don't u think y'all

SURFGAL
LADIES AND CALIFORNIA RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Whaz-up all yo somalia sistes and brothers?

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Whaz-up all yo somalia sistes and brothers?

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Queen-B

Unrecorded Date
Whaz-up yo to sisters and brothes

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Queen-B

Unrecorded Date
Somalia brothers why do u guys fight at somalia partys

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mase3000

Unrecorded Date
Queen-b please think before u just write cause u don't make sence at all.

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Queen-B

Unrecorded Date
All yo somalia niggas stop this figting. We go to partys to have fun time not figt eachothers.U niggas need to help eachother out and stope this madeness.

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Wazaaaaaaap

Unrecorded Date
QUEEN B........

U NEEDS TO STOP PLAYING MOM.

SEEMS LIKE U LIKES TO COMPLAIN BOUT' SOME'IN THAT AINT EVEN YOUR BUSINESS.


PEACE

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
Would somebody tell me who the f**k this Jack dude is? And what the hell is he doing in a Somali site anyway?

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Anonymous

Unrecorded Date
YO GIRL YOU FUNNY KEEP THAT •••• UP

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E2G

Unrecorded Date
mr. saddiq i think u are not a scrub but i do think u are a pigeon. u always where your best
friends high heels and her make up
why don't u buy your own plus u talk about your
hair its good that u don;t wear a weave but
u always perm and color it thats why i am rating u the queen pigeon of somali net

BY E2G

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U.K READERS

Unrecorded Date
FROM U.K INTELLIGENCE

TO JACK THE RUDE MOTHER****ER WHATS YOUR PROBLEM, JUST BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT THE INTELLIGENCE TO TELL A FUNNY JOKE DONT MEAN YOU CAN DISS PEOPLE WHO HAVE. WHY YOU GOTTA CALL HER SHARMUTO, ARE YOU JEALOUS OR SOMETHING. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER, COME UP WITH A GOOD JOKE, AND WE WILL SEE IF WE CAN CALL YOU A KHANIIS.

P.S HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE HAS SMALL TITS AND A BIIIIG SIL. OHH ITS ALL CLEAR TO ME NOW, I CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE A SMALL BRAIN, SMALL DICK, SMALL PERSONALITY AND A HUUUGE EGO!!!!!!!!!U BUM LICKING DIRTY SHEEP SHAGGING JACK.

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Aaliyah18

Unrecorded Date
To U.K readers
lol... you sure showed him to think twoice before writing the •••• he wrote!!!!

To Qalanjo
girl that was funny keep up the good work!!!

And to the brothers who read this
it's just a joke don't get mad now we still "LOVE"
u guyz!!!!lol

take care ya'll
peace & love to all my somali brothaz and sistaz

P.S. if anyone has really great jokes plz send it to me at togetherforeva@hotmail.com

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U.K READERS

Unrecorded Date
MESSAGE ALERT TO ALL U QUEEN-B AND DMX WANNABE!!

TO ALL U.S BIMBO'S, WHO BE TRYING TO ACT COOL. THIS IS U.K INTELLIGENCE JUST TRYING TO GIVE U SOME TIPS ON HOW 2 MAKE SENSE & HOW 2 KEEP IT REAL. WORD DOWN HERE IS THAT GIRLS IN THE U.S ARE CLUELESS ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL.


TO ALL U RUFF RIDER WANNABE'S, LETS GIVE U SOME IDEAS ON HOWSTUPID AND REDICILOUS U SOUND FROM A WOMENS POINT OF VIEW I.E TRYING TO BE SOMEONE UR NOT AND UR NEVER GONNA BE LIKE. PLEASE STOP EMBARASSING UR SELF AND THE REST OF US.
HERE IS A TIP 4 YA JUST TRY TO BE UR SELF AND KEEP IT REAL.

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AHM0543T

Unrecorded Date
YO S TA GIRL COME SHEEKO BAAN KUHAYAAYE
KALAY AAN KU RAP GARAREEYE;
MET THIS GIRL CALLED LAYLA THINK SHE WAS FROM HARGAISA
SAID I GIVE YOU TWO OPTION WE CAN EITHER GO ON AND ON AND ON SHE SAID SORRY WALAL BUT IAM LESBIAN
FOR REAL@

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asha

Unrecorded Date
hi brothers and sisters hope ur all ok.

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DMX

Unrecorded Date
To UK Reader
Nigga please, do u honestly think that i'm gonna take advice from a farah like u on how i should act. If i've just confused your tiny one celled feeble brain, let me explain what type of a person a farah is. A farah is dumb ass soamli guy who came to the west in order to have a better life, either by studying or by getting a job but instead sat on his ass and chewed gaad all day long, if anyone is embarassing themselves and somalies in general it's a farahs like yourself.So please my somali brother quit playa hating get off your black ass and get a job or go and get yourself some education don't u know that knowledge is the key to all our problems.

Peace out
Dat Djiboutian nigga DMX

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SURFGAL

Unrecorded Date
listen to all u loads this was somalian joke webpage why y'all dissing each other if u wanna do that design a web by selves and call each other names there

By the way the jokes in here were ALL FUNNY
so all y'all playa haterz get a life
U.K intellegence if u r so intellegent why u acting like u r stupid then and calling people names man that iz for the dumb ass motherfuckerz who don't know anything from nothing
anybody taken offence for my cussing sorry

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SURFGAL

Unrecorded Date
listen to all u loads this was somalian joke webpage why y'all dissing each other if u wanna do that design a web by selves and call each other names there

By the way the jokes in here were ALL FUNNY
so all y'all playa haterz get a life
U.K intellegence if u r so intellegent why u acting like u r stupid then and calling people names man that iz for the dumb ass motherfuckerz who don't know anything from nothing


Hi LaYLa aka BaShful aka oops....i did it again
How u doing BabyG when r we going to have time to chat to each other
anybody taken offence for my cussing sorry

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jet lee

Unrecorded Date
to
Dmx
nigger •••• your mum and how is you sister by the waylet get to business if you want weed am your man 3 gram for £10 the normal prices and it's a friend of the U.K Intelligence and word is that you couldn't lift your own dick nigger please tell me that its not true the word is that U.K
Intelligence are not boys or men they seven pretty ladies.•••• and you mum say hello to your sister for me sorry price has gone up that the weed not you sister.

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Troubled..mind

Unrecorded Date
I must say you are a funny Pidgeon.....Nice work.

comment from a Man, not a scrub.

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AYAN

Unrecorded Date
THIS •••• WAS REALLY FUNNY, BUT COME ON LADIES A LITTLE MORE LOVE TO OUR NIGGAS, THEY MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND. SIKE . NIGGAS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS YOU GUYS HAVE TO ADMIT THE •••• WAS FLY NO MATTER HOW HARD-CORE YOU ARE. I WANNA SEE MORE OF THESE KEEP UP DA JOKES BABY.

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HANNY

Monday, June 19, 2000 - 05:38 am
I JUST WANT TO SAY YOUR JOKES RFUNNY 4 REAL
IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY FUNNNNNNNNY JOKES SAND THEM
TO ME ON DANWO4U@YAHOO.COM AND WHO KNOWS I MIGHT SAND YOU SOME TOOO

PS I LIKE DIRTY ONES TO

LUV YA HANNY

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WARIS

Friday, July 14, 2000 - 08:26 pm
YO QALANJO KEEP UP THE GOOD JOB SISTA
CAUSE THAT WAS THE BOMB YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN
I MEAN I CANT STAND MEN CANT LIVE WITH THEM CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM WELL ANYWAY LOVE IS THE NAME
FOCK IS THE GAME FORGET THE NAME PLAY THE GAME BYE QALANJO AND ALL OF YOU READING THIS PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wolfpack_chairman

Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 12:02 pm
Men, you may have been frighttned by the above text but fear not your saviour, your knight in shining armour has come to save you.
Here are 15 codes which will not fail you in your attempt to meet a girl.

All right first of all for all you novices out there here is your introduction to the Wolfpack. I and Several guys who like to get with and "work chicks" originally organized the Wolfpack back in 1996. The Wolfpack will stop at nothing to get with a girl. So if you are scared of a little competition then you should go to www.sensitivesweater.com

Step One: Before “chicks” arrive loosen up, how you do that is not stricted

Step Two: Dress yourself appropriately. You might want to do this before step one but hey variety is the spice of life.

Step Three: Position yourself in the right location. Whether it is at a bar or at a private party, anywhere close to points of traffic are the best. A doorway, ladies' room or even source of alcohol are good places to start.

Step Four: Identify hot chicks

Step Five: Don't forget to continue loosening up however you may do that.

Step Six: Offer aforementioned chicks a drink. It can be beer, wine coolers, even coke, it doesn't matter.

Step Seven: Try to act like a gentlemen, be polite and lie, lie, lie like you've never lied before.

Step Eight: Now that you have established yourself as a "ladies man" at the party it is time for your trademark: Wolfpack advance. This entails identifying and moving in on girls that seem to be interested in other guys. There are several procedures for making this move. Dancing or better yet, grinding you way in is probably your best bet. Whatever you do, you must succeed in thwarting your opponents every move. Or if you can't dance, which is a prerequisite to being in the Wolfpack, offer a walk to a quieter place where you can show off your feminine side, this may not work as well but beggars can’t be choosers

Step Nine: Tell her she's special, that you care and all that other bullshit

Step Ten: Repeat this process with every hot chick in the room

Step Eleven: It is now Time to choose. Sometimes it is better to go with morally casual behaviours over pure looks. Within reason.

Step Twelve: Bring chick to an isolated area, but not your room.... yet. Secluded hallways, or even restaurant bathrooms can work well. Get some personal information, show interest and keep the bullshit flowing like the you've been drinking. Note: You are still loosening up at this point.

Step Thirteen: It's now time for "The Move". While this is a very complicated measure we here at the Wolfpack centre if you send us the stats will give you the short version. Determine the location of the night's continuing events. If it's early (before 2:30) it has to be her place. This gives them a level of comfort that will ultimately speed the process along. After 2:30, she wants it and will go anywhere and do just about anything. If it is her place, never invite yourself in. During the inevitable goodnight kiss (which will happen because you are in the Wolfpack and chicks dig you). Work your magic and repeat step #9. We cannot reveal what the "magic" is (for legal reasons), but it has everything to do with getting the chick really horny.

Step Fourteen: Seal the deal. Enjoy a night of passion, be cordial the next morning.

Step Fifteen: Defensive manoeuvres. When you girlfriend asks what you did last night do the following three things: Lie, deny, and make counter accusations.

I don’t see why this practise conducted with careful precision grace not work.
If it doesn’t by any chance YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE and hereby stripped of your Wolfpack titles.

If you have any queries about the above text (by femininist no doubt, please voice your arguments and send me an e mail at
flameboykosh@hotmail.com

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djiboutianlove

Unrecorded Date
sorry babe but we are one step ahead of the game, you can bring that •••• to the states perferably Atlanta Georgia and you will be disappointed, I've been in the game too long, dealt with sorry ass men too long. I have familiarized myself with the nonsense and I can tell you your every move before you even think of it and through it all I have never even came close to being "laid" good luck it sounds like you have actually took time to think this thing through. Anyways MORE POWER TO SOMALI SISTERS" don't let the cheif deceiver deceive you!

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Anonymous

Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 02:56 am
WUZ UP QALANJO

LISTEN BRO I HEARD EXACTLY DA SAME STUFF ON RADIO 1 BY RICHARD BLACKWOOD. IS THAT WERE U GOT IT FROM COS IF U DID U SHOULDNT BE TAKIN ALL THE CREDIT. SORRY TO LET THE PEOPLE KNOW BUT I THINK ITS MY DUTY.
DONT WORRY LIFE STILL GOES ON EVEN THOUGH U GOT LOADS OF PEOPLE THAT SEEM INTERESTED IN U BUT THEY ONLY WANT U FOR YOUR JOKES.
NOTHIN PERSONAL.
PEACE OUT BRO

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