     hayat | Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 02:35 am
An Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview in England.
Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a
sentence in english with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning.
I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I
hope it will be a pink day.."
The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow
banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on
TV"
Last was the Indian, (in an Indian accent): "I wake up in the
morning, I hear the phone 'green green', I pink up the phone and I
say 'Yellow'" |
| MM | Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 10:01 pm
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha
that was funny hayaat
I cant even type no more
god bliss u |
| T-GIRL | Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 11:32 pm
HAYAT.........
Haaa haha U made me fall off my chair...about green green |
| Indian | Sunday, October 01, 2000 - 08:25 am
Hayat:
Don't u know Indians are considered as one of the english spoken countries.Indians authors,as well as writers won awards in english..
Iam sure if it comes art of writing India is the best. |
| kaftan | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 02:44 am
loooooooooooool hayat that is funny and truth do U have some more jokes like that sp. indian gax gax |
| HUSLER | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 03:08 am
HAHAHAH THAT WAS FUNNY HAYAT
CHECK THIS OUT
A INDIAN MAN AND HIS WIFE WENT TO A JOB INTERVIEW
WHEN THE MAN ASK HOW OLD ARE U AND HOW OLD IS UR WIFE THE INDIAN MAN SAY I'M DIRTY AND MY WIFE IS DIRTY TOO...
HE MENT BY I;M 30 AND MY WIFE IS 32.
PEACE |
| hayat | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 03:19 am
indian:
maybe indians is good writers and they won awards in english ..." not in urdo or malyalam!!!" but they read V as W !!! |
| hayat | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 03:25 am
HUSLER:
waaaaaaaaaaaw what a nice jok (: ,,,
loooooooooooooooool |
| Indian | Monday, October 02, 2000 - 05:27 am
Obviously every country has his own phonetics in english,I mean no one is perfect inluding somalians,u know what happen.
I was watching Somalia's new president interview by the press.I could not understand the assence of what he was saying,will that irritate u guys,Iam not in a position to insult somlians.
I had kenyan frds,the way they pronounce english is horrible. |
| SIJUI | Tuesday, October 03, 2000 - 03:53 am
SHOULD THE GUY COMMENTING ABOUT ACCENT CORRECT HIS SPELLING FIRST BEFORE HE DISCUSS OTHERS PEOPLE ACCENT MAINLY THE INTELLECTUALS AND EDUCATED KENYANS. |
| hayat | Tuesday, October 03, 2000 - 05:20 am
this joke for those who like my jokes:
Microsoft decided to open a subsidiary in Saudi
Arabia.
These were the results:
1. Their main product became "Shababeek 2000"
2. Every product had two versions: Singles and
Family.
3. When installing any new application, in
addition to the product serial number, one has
also to include his "Iqama" number."it means visa number"
4. The computer will shut off automatically
during "Salat" and will not boot until "Salat"
is over.
5. During Ramadan the computer will work only
after Iftar.
6. All e-mail will have to go through a special
department in customs to check if there is any
mention of alcohol.
7. A program had to be installed to
automatically veil all female pictures arriving
by e-mail.
8. The computer will boot only after you enter
"Bismillah Al Rahman al Rahim" in the
AUTOEXEC.BAT.
9. The Saudi National Anthem is played when the
computer boots.
10. "Shababeek" always opens with a picture of
the King.
11. All Dialog boxes have "Bismillah Al Rahman al
Rahim" under the heading.
12. Dialog boxes give a choice of "Insha' Allah,"
instead of "Yes"; "Ma Fee," instead of "No"; or
"Rooh Walli," instead of Cancel."
13. Screen Savers background always includes
the Saudi National flag.
14. The mouse pointer is a figure of a Mataw'a
with a stick.
15. If there is any mention of Saddam Hussein
in any e-mail the computer freezes.
16. The "HELP" file had to be written in Arabic,
Sri Lankan, Urdu, Bengali and Hindu, in addition
to English.
17. If a female uses the computer, the computer
automatically detects it and starts making a back
up copy of all input; the backup can be accessed
only by a husband or a male member of the
household (Muhram). |
| haaha.huh | Tuesday, October 03, 2000 - 08:59 am
hayaat r u mocking our religion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!or is this supposed to be funny!!!!!!!!!!should I laugh ?????????????????????/ |
| guhaad | Tuesday, October 03, 2000 - 01:16 pm
hayat, this is the funny's one that i ever hear it. i like it. when you see the way saudis act sometimes or how they treat the woman, you will say .....aha....this joke is true.
oh! you make me laugh. this is a good one. |
| hayat | Tuesday, October 03, 2000 - 11:09 pm
haaha.huh:
Oh no, don’t say that pls , this joke about some people who understand our religion in wrong way, that is all
But for me I proud of my religion, and I’m happy cause I’m Muslim |
| HUSLER | Wednesday, October 04, 2000 - 03:13 am
hay hayat what's up buddy I like ur jokes keep coming more
INDIAN U right every country has there own phonetics english I agree with but indian is the most dynastic if it comes to english........
check this out
a somalian guy come to America. when he was coming to America he know a broke english.. one day he went to school and he got fight with another guy... the principle ask him why did U got fight with this guy and the Somalia guy say he enter my ocean which he means he was in my business....
also he say to the principle don;t enter my ocean u too.... lol he was translating somali to english u know how we say badayda ha soo galin..............lol |
| treasure | Wednesday, October 04, 2000 - 05:41 am
indian you right we have some people say choventus instead of juventus and cherry springerrr instead of jerry springer....hayat looool funny joke |
| OUTLAW | Wednesday, October 04, 2000 - 06:21 am
I LOVED YOUR SECOND JOKE HAYAT, BUT THE FIRST ONE IS A BIT RACIST . WE SOMALIS ARE HOSPITABLE BUT TO ABUSE IT AND TO HAVE PPL FROM OTHER NATIONALITIES THINKING WE ARE RACIST IS NOT A GOOD THING TO JOKE ABOUT I KNOW YOU MEANT IT IN A WARM HEARTEDLY WAY BUT IT OFFENDS SOME PPL GIRL |
| Anonymous | Wednesday, October 04, 2000 - 07:10 am
HUSLER I DON,T FIND THE JOKE ABOUT SOMALIS FUNNY OR IS IT YOUR GRAMMER THAT MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.PLEASE CHECK YOUR SPELLING NEXT TIME.BYE |
| SAHAL | Thursday, October 05, 2000 - 09:59 am
HAYAT WALLIHI ENTY NUKTA U R REALY FUNNY
here is a little joke.
SUBJECT: Apartment for Rent
A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night
with him for $500, and she did. Before he left in the morning, he told
her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his
secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT
FOR APARTMENT"
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that
the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:
Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the
apartment I was under the impression that:
(1) it had never been occupied;
(2) that there was plenty of heat;
(3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
Last night, however, I found our that it had been previously occupied,
that there wasn't
any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for
$250 with the following note:
Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of
it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is
indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill
it, please don't blame the land lord. Thank you. |
| Muna | Thursday, October 05, 2000 - 03:01 pm
Hey Hayat,
Girl I must say that your jokes really made me laugh. They were just hilarious especially the one about the Saudis and their unfair treatment of their women. I completely understand when you say that you are only addressing that to the people who so ignorantly twist and manipulate our religion and the word of God. And to all Somali people out there...PLEASE GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR. And another thing guys, especially the men, you could try working on your spelling and grammar instead of wasting so much time putting us sisters down and standing at every corner with that famous saying rolling off your tongue...Naaguna waa konton, anigana nin ragah baan ahayoo boqol baan ahay. Oh yeah and before I forget...shove it with that stuff about SHARCIGA AFAR BUU NOO BENEEYEY. Allah never said that you should go and marry four women and start impregnating all of them at the speed of light when you can hardly even support your sorry behind.I'm sorry brothers but you guys just ain't keeping it real. Right sisters??!Hey Sahal I really liked your joke too man, keep it up. |
| Anonymous | Friday, October 06, 2000 - 08:22 am
Hayat, u r sure funny! i loved both of ya jokes, the businessman & the saudi one. Check my blond-joke, under ya joke in the businessman who rented the ap! |
| hiya | Friday, October 06, 2000 - 09:27 am
Dear,bros/sisters.
hayat: U r jokes great, I have enjoyed alot reading u jokes..Keep Up sista..specilay that of saudi arebia..what a nice jokes..Hope u will psot more
huh uhu!!! |
| hayat | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 03:14 am
Hello my beloved sisters and brothers
I just like to say thank you all, really I’m happy of all your replays,
And also I would like to say when I’m telling the jokes I don't mean to insult someone, I hear many jokes about Somalia from non Somalia people, simply I laughed because it was funny.
Husler : thank you bro I understand your joke , it is funny.
Sahal : you are really big NOKTA LOOOOOOOOOL .
Muna : special thanks to you , you express all what I wanna say. |
| T-GIRL | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 12:58 pm
HAYAT
U R funny sis.....Microsoft must have re vamped after going to Saudi...
Indian.....
Why U being so sensitive man?
CHECK THIS ONE OUT
A british lady went to India. She tried to hail a taxi at Sahara Airport(Bombay). On arrival of the taxi she asked the man :"Driver I need to use the toilet could you wait for me please?" The man instantly replied: "No parablem madam taik yo taim". The lady discovered the latch on the toilet door was broken so she asked the taxi driver to stay infront of the door and inform everyone that it is occupied. She went in and sang a song...." There was a cool day?" The driver entered the toilet. She screamed and said :"Why R U in the toilet with me?" The driver said :"Madam U said Darvaza khool de(Open the door). Oh my God, U british have no humour at all huh?
In other words he misunderstood It was a cool day for Darvaza khool de.
Peace
Trouble |
| samiira | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 04:51 pm
loooooooooooooooooooooooool..•••• dat was the kick...nice going bro.....: |
| dajah | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 05:06 pm
hey ya'll if ya thought that was funny check this one out!!!!!!!!!actually two...
one day the president and his wife went to a baseball game at the game one of the secret service mans leads over and wispers somethin' into the presidents ear...2secs pass and eversyone sees the president's wife over the lodge kursing on her way down..the crowd is shocked by what they seen so the bodyguard leads over again and says;"sir they asked to threw the first pitch not the first bitch"...get it?
anotha one. at this one somali party..that one of my home-girls and i was at,this one somali brotha walks up to us and says;"if we were the last people on earth i bet we can do it in public"...man we started laughin' at the nigga it was hella funny...
aight...i'm out..one. |
| abu | Saturday, October 07, 2000 - 05:07 pm
dajah..hahahahahahah sis..•••• ya cracked the •••• out of me..let me get ya e-mail..•••• dats the joint... |
| Abdi dualeh | Sunday, October 08, 2000 - 08:39 am
one day there was three girls and a mother.
one day they where eating dinner
the mother said.you girls should have sex.
so the mothere came home at night from work.
so she heard noises from upstair.
then the mother when upstair
and she listen to the first door.
and she hear yelling.
then she when to nexit door and hear laughing
then she when to last room and heard notthing.
so when the girls get up nexit moning.
she asked the first girl why where you yelling she said beacse the dick was too big.
then she when to nexit why where laughing she said becase it was too small.
then she asked the last girl why where so quit
and she bease i was sicking the dick.
what sup 2 all mn mpls people. |
| hayat | Sunday, October 08, 2000 - 11:49 pm
Abdi dualeh:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! should I laugh ??????
it's not funny at all, it's miserable |
| leban@ | Wednesday, October 11, 2000 - 01:40 am
TO HAYAT UR JOKES MADE ALMOST FAINT THEY WERE JUST TOO FUNNY I`D LIKE TO SAY ONE.
THERE WAS A SOMALI MAN AND HIS WIFE AND THEY DID NOT GET ALONG SO THEY BOTH AGREED TO GO TO THIER SOLICITOR FOR A DIVORCE, AND WHEN THEY STEPPED IN, THE SOLICITOR SAID `HOW CAN I HELP U`
AND THE MAN SAID `I WANT TO OPEN MY WIFE`(inan gabaday da furo) |
| Rauuf | Saturday, October 21, 2000 - 02:54 pm
check this one out.............. IRAQI TV GUIDE
> > * MONDAY
> > * 8:00 Husseinfeld
> > * 8:30 Mad About Everything
> > * 9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
> > * 9:30 Allah McBeal
> > * TUESDAY
> > * 8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror
> > * 8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right
> > * 9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
> > * 9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
> > * WEDNESDAY
> > * 8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
> > * 8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy
> > * 9:00 Just Shoot Me
> > * 9:30 Veilwatch
> > * THURSDAY
> > * 8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi
> > * 8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H
> > * 9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
> > * 9:30 My Two Baghdads
> > * FRIDAY
> > * 8:00 Judge Saddam
> > * 8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest >Things
> > * 9:00 Achmed's Creek
> > * 9:30 No-witness News |
| RICHGIRL | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 08:08 am
Just curious how their weekend TV is gonna look like
SATURDAY
*Tommorows world without Clinton
*Can't Kill won't kill
*Badghdad Hills 90210
*MTV--BLackstreet Arabs & N-stink
SUNDAY
*Brother/Brother
*Songs of praise 4 the Dead
*Crime prevention Prevented
*FBI -Fat Baghdadians Inaugeration
*Ready Steady Kill
*Closing Head lines....Counting the Heads |
| saanaagboy | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 02:58 pm
ppl all ur jokes r very funny.
except the yanky ones couz they sort of betray iraq and iraqies as whole a stupid nation, while betraying the yankees as noble beings( which is bull**** like we have seen)
anyway since we r jokin bout indians whom i really dont like(personla opinion) i like contribute this rather hypocrite and more or less indian steryiotypical joke to all already existing marvelous libroury of jokes about the scum of the earth(other words hair and cow worshpin beings)
it goes like this:
> Banta Singh was thinking of taking a vacation to Hawaii. He wondered how
> >long the flight was, so he called Hawaiian Airlines for some information.
> >The busy Hawaiian Airline reservation lady answered and Banta said: "
> Could
> >you tell me how long is the flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu?" The
> >reservation clerk said: "Just a minute." Banta said: " Thank you" and
> hung
> >up. |
| sadjoker | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 03:04 pm
hi all,
i have this rather sadly funny joke(and i noticed it says no adult jokes in the introduction) but this one is worth loughing/ crying @
it goes like this;
> There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk
> > > > dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the
> > > > doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door.
> > > > When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he
> > > > wanted.
> > > > He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the
> > > > money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
> > > > The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she
> > > told
> > > > him to pick any of the girls he liked.
> > > > He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course the Madam
> > > > said no.
> > > > He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after
> > > > making
> > > > love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
> > > > Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it,
the
> > > > Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
> > > > He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten
> > > minutes
> > > > later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed
> > > > out the door.
> > > > The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the
> > > > place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
> > > > He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents
> > > are
> > > > going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a
baby-sitter.
> > > > After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just
> > > > happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the
> > > disease
> > > > that I just caught.
> > > > When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the
> > > way,
> > > > he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.
> > > > Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to
> > > bed
> > > > and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to
> > > work,
> > > > the Milkman will deliver the milk,have a quickie with Mom and catch the
> > > > disease,
> > > > " HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> |
| funnygent | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 03:14 pm
hahahhah the last 2 jokes have some of the funniest i have eva heared.
that is fantastic guys well done!
this makes a change bout our lovely sisters makin a sexist remark on its behalf since it doesnt involve any poor FARAH brother.
2 all my brothers and sisters call me silly but the above 2 jokes have been the best so FAR>>>>>>
sadly guys i have another real funny loughter check it out and let me know how u liked it, aight piece>>>>>>>>>
A little boy walks into his parents bed room to find his mother
on top of
> his father, riding him. The mother sees her little son and gets off her
> husband as her son leaves the bedroom. The mother concerned about what
her
> son had seen, gets dressed and finds her son in his bed room. The son
asked
> his mother what she was doing to daddy. The mother replies, "Do you
> know that daddy has a big tummy?" The boy says, "Yes, he does have a big
> tummy." Mother then says, "Well I have to get on Daddy's tummy and
flatten
> it, so it doesn't stick out that much."The boy says not to do it anymore
> because
> it will not work. The mother is confused by her son's statement and
asks
> how come? The boy says to his mother, "Because when you went to visit
> Grandma for a
> week about six months ago the lady next door came over here and did
that
> everyday and now she has a big stomach like dad's too. And besides I
think
> daddy likes his stomach big, because when you go out shopping, the lady
> across the street comes over here, gets on her knees and blows daddy's
> stomach back up."
ladies plzzzzzzzzzzz dont feel ofended couz it was intended or meant 2 b offensive, but infact 2 cheer u up and make u lough.......
piece>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. |
| jamal | Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 05:57 pm
funnygent and sadjoke i like both jokes keep like that guys. peace out and iam gonna come a phat one next time |
